Author Topic: My Story The Nah years....Let's give them something to talk about.  (Read 4411 times)

Offline OffRoad

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My Story Re: The Nah years....Let's give them something to talk about.
« Reply #120 on: May 14, 2019, 02:35:05 PM »
I seemed to have missed the part where you said he was with his mother and D. That would be my error if you wrote that. In that case, I would remember. But I haven't been in a store for two months (since my own mother died) and whiLe I would think I'd have remembered, just didn't.  Missed Easter, too. I mean completely missed it. This from a person who celebrated every Holiday and was the house everyone came to.

So, I agree, if he was out celebrating Mother's day he obviously remembered or someone remembered for him. Forthose of us who didn't remember, well, we just didn't.

I acknowledge this is just a time in my life I'm going through. I will eventually reset. I'm just saying it happens.
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Online nahTopic starter

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Re: The Nah years....Let's give them something to talk about.
« Reply #121 on: May 14, 2019, 03:09:46 PM »
I get missing certain holidays when bigger things are going on.

Now that I’ve had a day to absorb his blah, blah, blah-ing, one thing really stands out to me.

His drinking.

For six years now Ive been trying to unlock the MLC mystery. The Leaver was always the perfect MLC specimen bc I could check every MLC stereotype box. Except one. The box where MLCers often increase drinking and/or drugs. No. I said. Not The Leaver... I would know.

In fact six years ago when The Leavers evil sister came over to talk after BD, it was the first question she asked, “Is he drinking again?”  Absolutely not, I said, I would know. (Then she ghosted me too, that b!tch)

Background-
As teens, early 20’s he drank so much that one day into night he drank 36 beers and passed out in his own vomit. I cleaned it up. It escalated so much, He quit at aged 22, saying a girl like me wouldn’t stay with a guy like that (I never said anything like that, he did).
Five years dry, then he called me from an overnight job. “I’m at a bar” he said, “I can handle it now”

I didn’t know enough about alcoholism to know you don’t “mature out of it”

Now when The Leaver drank, he drank like a champ. Full bottles of hard liquor like it was water on a summer day.  He quit again (I thought for good) a year later. He was in his 20’s. He used to say to me with a wink, “what’s it like to have a drink” (bc he never had one, I’m a one drink girl).

Anyways, when he lost his job and we met several times for financial reasons (our biggest touch and go) he leaned in and said, “I’ve been obsessing about drinking and had one drink.”

He has never had “one drink” in his life. I was shocked. Alcohol was something in his life over twenty years ago... he’s drinking again??

Btw... I’m still 100% that he didn’t drink until after BD. He can’t hide his level of drinking. It’s obvious when he drinks.

So I’m very sure he was heavily drinking before, during, and after his wedding. Friends and family had to know... and said nothing. Cowards.


H-54
me-52
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com

Offline stayed

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Re: The Nah years....Let's give them something to talk about.
« Reply #122 on: May 14, 2019, 04:19:51 PM »
Offroad, I've become terrible at remembering those days.  Yup, I see the commercials etc.  but still miss the actual day.  It's crazy.  I have become so bad about it, I actually have started going to the dollar store right after Christmas, picking up birthday cards for every single member of the family... going to the bank and getting out a bunch of 10's and 20's... sitting down on a single night.  Writing up all the cards... putting their gift money in them... addressing, stamping... and putting their birthdate on the outside of the envelope.  I then Paper Clip the cards to the months the cards are suppose to go out, then on the first week or day of each month, drop them in the mail box. 

Like you, I love all my kids.  I respect mothers day and fathers day.... easter, Christmas... all of it... but for some reason I simply cannot get excited about any of them other then Christmas. 

Truth is... it doesn't matter to us, at the moment, maybe it never will.  I assume it does to others and that's ok too. 

hugs Stayed

« Last Edit: May 14, 2019, 04:21:15 PM by stayed »
Married 41yrs.
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Offline stillbaffled

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Re: The Nah years....Let's give them something to talk about.
« Reply #123 on: May 15, 2019, 03:44:26 PM »
Man, it must be an awesome life that new Mrs. is living with Mr. Drinker. 

I am slightly disappointed that he blah blah blahed all that other stuff and never even mentioned the book (as an aside - when is the hard copy coming out?). 

After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Online nahTopic starter

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Re: The Nah years....Let's give them something to talk about.
« Reply #124 on: May 15, 2019, 05:24:46 PM »
Man, it must be an awesome life that new Mrs. is living with Mr. Drinker. 

I am slightly disappointed that he blah blah blahed all that other stuff and never even mentioned the book (as an aside - when is the hard copy coming out?).

I can’t even imagine. This man downplays his issues and he admitted he had “a bad relapse”, that tells me he is over the top angry drunk. He was that guy years ago that would get in fights when he drank. I remember him fighting with a friend and denting a car bc he threw the guy on the hood. I can’t imagine dealing with that level of drunk at this age. No wonder when I saw him a few weeks before he married he was sweating and twitchy,... he needed a drink. It makes so much sense.

Anyways, his “tried to call several times” was really once and it was a week after the book was released. That’s why I didn’t answer, I thought it was going to be nothing but an argument. I too found it strange that he didn’t bring it up. I could only guess the reasons, embarrassed bc it’s true?, doesn’t want to get into it bc I’ll win?... just over it?.... maybe does truly want to be civil?  Who knows.

So, about the book. Yesterday was the first time I held an actual copy. I had the printer make only one so I could see the design, the formatting, etc.  I’m busy at work this week so I’ll need at least a week to go over it and then it should be ready to go. I estimate about 6-8 weeks.

H-54
me-52
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com

 

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