[nah]

. It's a story of pain and confusion and Nah's attempts to suppress them with alcohol and promiscuity, her continuing confusion but gradual acceptance, and her eventual rebuilding of her life in spite of her continuing inability to understand what happened. Or maybe I'm just projecting what I saw.

Well, Yes.  I often now say on here,... why did he leave?  He just did.

I think many of on here want the MLC answer, maybe some were hoping I had it (I think Goner alluded to something like it became just another book about a guy leaving his wife).  I even wrote towards the end (after spending too much time trying to figure out why)....why did he leave?  He just did.

. I'm afraid I also agree with Goner about there being too much swearing and name calling in the book. Sorry but I had to stop reading.

That's fine, I knew it would be the opinions of some.

I thought I met you in person but you must have been wearing a mask because this isn't the person I met. The person I met was much more complex and interesting, and very classy.

Well, you met me more than a year after my BD, the first 3 chapters a very raw because they were the first few weeks post BD.  The first few weeks, not only was I raw, I was completely out of my mind.  99% of my swearing is when I'm first hit with something emotional (like a BD), or if I'm around my friends who also tend to swear.  Yes, I'm capable of cleaning up my act if I'm around a different group of people, which I was that weekend.

I should quit while I'm not too far behind but regarding Goner's idea of capturing the reader by putting the elevator pitch in earlier. The book could begin with a brief description of the wonderful life you have today, then go to the horror of bomb drop, then the reader would have to continue reading to find out how you made it out the other side and perhaps by extension, how they can do it too. 

That is something to think about... you said you couldn't get past the first few pages.  Since I'm not a professional writer, this is criticism that I could use.  I thought "I met someone" and finding out early that we were married for such a long time, and it was very unexpected to me, would keep the reader wondering what happened and why.

In chapter 3, I touched that with what he was like when we met.  I thought some people would wonder why I would stay with the abuse so that is what I chose to put in the early chapters. Maybe instead closer to the front I could have gone with marrying E.  But also as a reader, sometimes I don't want to know how it will end right from the start.  It's still a tough decision for me. I could add some kind of prologue about my "spontaneous" wedding? 

Coincidentally, You and Goner have always been very anti-name-calling.  Nothing at all wrong with that, I completely understand why you both feel that way.  BUT... I also feel there is another group that needs the name-calling as a release, as a way to detach, many others fall into that category. I fall into that category. I will chalk that up to can't please everyone.

BTW, I would suggest lowering the price. It's pretty high for this type of Kindle book from an unknown author. If you really just wrote the book for yourself then it makes the book kind of expensive for the only people who will probably buy it, your family and friends. And if you would like to reach a wider audience, you should set a more marketable price. JMO. Everything I wrote was meant to be helpful, not offensive. If anyone takes offense, that's your interpretation, not my intention.

I can't wait to bring this comment up to E.  Our price is 4.99.  I also felt the price was too high.  Now the average range is 2.99 to 9.99, with the average being 3.99 (or so I read), I thought 2.99-3.99 should be the price since I'm an unknown writer, E
thought I should go higher, we compromised at 4.99, with the agreement that it could be lowered later.

Thank you MBIB, your comments were very helpful.

[Thunder]

No Nah, don't start with the wedding, then everyone kind of knows it has a happy ending.  I say keep them waiting.  lol

I haven't read the book so I'll just say, maybe MB has a good point about lowering the price.  It would probably attract a lot more people buying it from an unknown writer. (even though $4.99 is pretty cheap).

[nah]

No Nah, don't start with the wedding, then everyone kind of knows it has a happy ending.  I say keep them waiting.  lol

I was thinking of doing it in a way that you don’t know who I’m with...

Or an epilogue at the end of the book,... just in case I want to continue my story.

[Thunder]

Ah..good thinking. 

[MyBrainIsBroken]

Coincidentally, You and Goner have always been very anti-name-calling.  Nothing at all wrong with that, I completely understand why you both feel that way.  BUT... I also feel there is another group that needs the name-calling as a release, as a way to detach, many others fall into that category. I fall into that category. I will chalk that up to can't please everyone.

I know you believe you understand why I feel the way that I do but since you brought it up and others may not understand I would like to take this opportunity to explain why I feel this way. I've learned since BD that my wife was horribly abused when she was a child. I didn't know about it because we never talked about our childhoods. I didn't have an idyllic childhood either and after working with a trauma therapist for 3 years I still don't remember most of my childhood and I wouldn't care to discuss much of what I do remember. Just writing this is triggering me.

I completely believe that the abuse from my wife's childhood resurfaced after her father died a couple years before BD. I believe that because I have learned in therapy that that's what happened to me when my father died several years before my wife's father's death. I know from personal experience what it's like to be unable to continue being the person you once were and to be unable to go on living the life you had been living. So I believe my wife is a good person who is doing bad things because of the horrible things that happened to her when she was a young child. I feel no anger towards her, only sorrow that she's going through this. She didn't deserve to be abused when she was a little girl and it makes me sick to know that she's reliving that period with the om playing the role of her abusive father. I know if you haven't gone through it yourself like I did that it probably seems like nonsense but this is what I believe and why I believe it.

That doesn't mean that I don't sometimes need some kind of release. I hate her father, the fat-a$$ed old ba$tard who abused her, and I hate the om, the fat-a$$ed young ba$tard who is taking advantage of her. And when the pressure gets to be too much I go out into my garage and beat on the heavy bag that's hanging out there or I put on my running shoes and I run as fast and as far as I can. The latter got me all the way to the end of the NYC Marathon. Sometimes I need a lot of release.

I hope you achieve your goals with your book, whatever they may be.

I was thinking of doing it in a way that you don’t know who I’m with...

I see you posted again while I was writing my post. I like this. This could be quite interesting. The ending would be quite a shocker!

[Not Applicable]

Nah-My reasons for being anti-name calling here in the forum and in your book are two totally different things.

The reason I say name-calling in the forum is not productive is because I have noticed that those who name call and say other certain choice words and phrases (which I will keep to myself so that this doesn't turn into a debate tangent), do not reconcile. So if that is someone's goal, they should really be reflecting on how their own attitudes might thwart their goals. People can name call all they want, but it isn't going to get them their spouses back.

As for the name-calling in the book, I think some name calling is perfectly acceptable and captures your feelings at the time and that is good.. It became a bit too repetitive though and I think a few less pages devoted to name calling or name calling mixed with more substance beyond name calling would be good.  That's all.

[Not Applicable]

And I should add, I wasn't around here when you were first posting, Nah, but since I have been here, I have always enjoyed reading your posts and think you are an excellent writer. So I was a bit disappointed by the opening of the book because it didn't capture my attention like most of your other writing does. But the opening IS really important because if you don't reel your reader in then, they aren't going to stick around for the rest. I just think you need to really dive into the story early and hook people on that, because storytelling is your strength.

I agree the remarriage story would be giving away the ending, but maybe you could throw in another story from later on in the process that doesn't give away the ending yet allows people to foreshadow that you found your way eventually. Maybe about starting your new job in a new city or something? Think about the scene with the old Rose at the beginning of Titanic. It really does not tell you anything about the life that she lived, just that she did live it to an old age and has a grandchild.

[stillbaffled]

And I should add, I wasn't around here when you were first posting, Nah, but since I have been here, I have always enjoyed reading your posts and think you are an excellent writer. So I was a bit disappointed by the opening of the book because it didn't capture my attention like most of your other writing does. But the opening IS really important because if you don't reel your reader in then, they aren't going to stick around for the rest. I just think you need to really dive into the story early and hook people on that, because storytelling is your strength.

And to give you just the opposite viewpoint, Nah, I'll tell you that the first chapter totally captured my interest.

I think the reason for that is because right from the beginning I kept saying to myself......that's so similar to what my husband did.  That's so similar to what my husband said.

So I wanted to keep reading to see how things were going to turn out because I felt like it was my world too. 

From my viewpoint, you dove right into total freaking chaos with a runaway husband.  Since I had one of those I can relate.   

[gman242]

If you're doing it on amazon and your goal is just to be read, Amazon has a set minimum price based on the length. I'd set it to whatever amazon suggest as the minimum. I've been writing children's mysteries and I've never made anything over 300$ in over ten years on several books. That's not counting the fact that most are given away for free on Prime and you get pennies for those.

Unless you're dealing in volume, it's set up against you. That's why as far as I go, I'm just happy being read and heard, with my music. I just mention that because if based on the length of your book and Amazon is saying 2$, you may upset people and get bad reviews if they feel you charged too much for too little. All of my novels were 300+ pages and I sold them for the recommended 4.99$.

FWIW.. lol

[OffRoad]

I have only one critic, and that may be because I only read the free part.The writing was uneven. The first chapter was written in a rudimentary style, imo, very vernacular, a little stilted  . Chapter 2 flowed better,  had more complex sentences and was easier to follow, but then chapter 3 went back to the style of chapter 1.  Unless each chapter is from a different persons viewpoint, I like my writing to stay the same throughout.  My preference was for chapter 2, but either way would be ok. Just keep it the same so the writer doesn't look a bit crazy.

And yeah, I might have spent $3 to read it, but not $5. How weird is that? Why does $2 make a difference? I can't even say, I just know that for me, it does.