Living like she is not coming back - What I mean is just getting on with my life - eating, working, sleeping and keeping up with my hobbies, interests and sporting activities I've always done. Keeping in touch with friends, family and being sociable.
I am out there doing things and trying to move forward. I'm not sat around at home, pining for her in a darkened room with the curtains drawn and lights off.
I am not out drinking my self stupid, or doing stupid things to attract attention; I'm leaving her alone and mirroring her level of contact.
Yes - I have a permanent air of sadness over me - I have a massive sense of loss. But as each day passes, my new normal feels more normal and I adjust to my new environment;
Mixed messages are tough. I think I read it was checking you are still where they left you. Not completely letting go on their part.
I believe I'm living like she is not coming back, although I would want her back - after a long conversation.