Author Topic: My Story The Story Continues- Fear Not!  (Read 4494 times)

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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My Story Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2018, 07:59:31 AM »
Hey FW, Shelly, SB <waving> thanks for coming along for the ride!

SB- You are quite right! I think I will look back and see how far I have come! The dread that I once had for that day isn't as predominate anymore.

I do sell my wreaths on buy and sell pages. I just recently created a FB page for them  :).

Do you a team your root for?

As for the legalization..Our country having it together. BAHAHAHA! I'm not even going to get started on that!  The misconception that you now can show up to work/school high, because it's legal?!? Lol... you can't go to work/school drunk...  you can't drive high/drunk...same thing, eh!  ;) It's ridiculous really.

Update:
The weekend was good. Nothing super exciting. Hockey watching and wreath making... with a little prosecco here and there!

I had told H that I would message him once I went through the stuff from the realtor this weekend. Today, I was thinking perhaps I should just leave it... see if he contacts me and pushes the issue!?!?! The longer I drag it out the better  ;D. It's not in my nature to ignore things, and it's tough to do. I feel guilty about not keeping my word. That sounds silly when I say that though, when I think of the whole situation. Lol.

Tonight my cousin and I are going to head to my moms to pick some stuff up. I haven't been there since Christmas when I found the texts on H phone. I feel pretty ok with it. I am glad I am going with her, we won't have a lot of time to spend there which is good. Just a little worried about dealing with my Stepdad since he doesn't know the situation due to his dementia. Luckily he will be leaving to go play crib shortly after we arrive. I did plan it that way!!

Well, that's it for now. Guess we'll see what the rest of the week brings!

Hugs N Prayers,
FN




M 46
H 40
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline Thunder

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2018, 08:35:44 AM »
I guess I'm just smiling because it is almost November already.  Probably nothing would happen now until next year.   ;D
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2018, 10:04:06 AM »
Thunder- It does seem that way doesn't it! I am grateful that I am still there  ;D.

Update

So went to my mom's last night. It was more difficult than I anticipated. Today is a rough one. I didn't really think it would hit me that hard, but standing there in the same space, just made me go right back to that moment discovering the texts and confronting him. It was sickening and heartbreaking all over again. Today I am weepy and overtired which doesn't help the cause. I know I will bounce back, it's a temporary feeling, just sucks to feel it.  :( Sucks to be reminded.

This morning H contacted me about the price drop. I asked if he had gotten the info that we required from the town yet... in true MLC fashion... of course not. Supposed to be later this week. He suggested a price drop, I suggested meeting to discuss because I really don't agree with his number, and he isn't looking at the facts. His response was he wasn't sure what meeting would accomplish, possibly could meet tomorrow (I'm a sucker for punishment meeting on the very eve of when this whole demise began), but would let me know later tonight. Must need to get permission to stay out after work tomorrow. ;). I'm guessing it will fall through. The rest of the week I wont' have time. Scored tickets to the hockey game on Thursday... priorities  ;D. I am taking Friday off and giving myself a long weekend, that won't include dealing with this.

Hugs N Prayers,
FN

M 46
H 40
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline One day at a time

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2018, 05:01:17 AM »
I'm sorry to hear you are weepy, I have been going through the same so I know how it feels.. the little reminders are hard but you'll get through it. The positive side of this is that now you have been at your mom's already. That was probably hanging over you all this time but now it's done. Next time will be easier.. I decided to give myself a long weekend too, we deserve it!  ;)
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.
Confirmation H is with OW in her home country  - 3rd June 2019

"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline Thunder

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2018, 05:32:24 AM »
Or you could do what someone else is doing, say ok you will lower the price but he would need to agree to lower his amount of the proceeds by that much because you need the full price amount.

 ;D 
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2018, 08:50:16 AM »
Or you could do what someone else is doing, say ok you will lower the price but he would need to agree to lower his amount of the proceeds by that much because you need the full price amount.

 ;D 
Lol...Valid point  :D

One day- <hugs> it sucks to feel that way. You are right though, it has been hanging over me and needed to be done. Cheers to a long weekend!

Update

H is not allowed out to have a discussion today. Lol. Gave me the price he wanted to drop to. I wrote back and said "unfortunately we are not in agreement on that. Please let me know when your schedule allows for a discussion regarding this. Happy Halloween." I haven't had a response. Guess well see if he finds time or not. Lol. Frankly... my "give a damn" seems a little broken today. I didn't expect to feel so irritated by this, but I am REALLY IRRITATED. Maybe it 's this crap, maybe it's the idea of a year ago was the beginning of the wheels falling off...either way I feel like I have some misplaced anger that I might need to find an outlet for!! >:( Bright side, one more sleep until the hockey game... then a long weekend. I can do it!!

Happy Halloween HS Peeps!
Hugs N Prayers,
FN
M 46
H 40
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline Thunder

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2018, 09:05:17 AM »
He's not allowed out today.  LOL!!!  Sucks to be him.

I hope you have a great week-end!    :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2018, 10:32:55 AM »
Thunder -Lol it sure does suck to be him!!

He pushed back with wanting me to drop the price, time is ticking, missing opportunities , blah, blah, blah(pretty sure the text had some input from OW, funny how easy it is to spot her voice in things) Said if we met we'd only argue, blah blah blah. I wrote back that..

I have no intention of arguing and that I have proven just that in the last 9 months by my actions. $16k drop is not a a small reduction and unfortunately I don't agree. Let me know when your ready to have an adult conversation about this and have the information from the town. It's not just your life that is affected by your decisions and I am not doing it via text.

H answer- He wasn't saying I was uncooperative, we just have different opinions about what our home is worth in this market. The decisions do affect both of us and that why he is trying to be patient and cooperative as well. As soon as he has the info from the town we can get together.

I really didn't expect H to back down so quickly. Now to wait and see if he really is motivated to go to the town.  ::) It's going on a month already for that. I'll just keep praying for more delays. Time is my friend.

Today I really didn't want to push back. I thought that he might monster at me and I just didn't want to deal with it. I am glad that I held my ground. It is a little harder to push back when H has been normal to some degree and I haven't had to face the rage and venom. Unfortunately, I think he may have to face a little of that from OW when/if he ever mans up to meet or lets her know her/their bullying tactic didn't work.  ;D Beat it bully's... I have zero time for you! Funny thing...he didn't wish me Happy Halloween back. Makes me wonder if he remembers what transpired on this day!?!? I know last year on this day, I started jumping through every hoop I could find, and morphing myself into what I thought I needed to be for him. None of it worked. Today a year later, I stood up for myself, for a decision that is best for me, even though fear tried to take over. It sucked and it was difficult but I feel a real sense of strength and hope from it. Fear is a liar!!

Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

Hugs N Prayers,
FN



« Last Edit: October 31, 2018, 10:34:24 AM by FearNot »
M 46
H 40
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline Thunder

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2018, 12:19:28 PM »
Love the verse, Fear!  So perfect! 

Are you taking lesson from Df on how to be bad@ss?  ha ha
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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Re: The Story Continues- Fear Not!
« Reply #19 on: November 06, 2018, 08:25:04 AM »
Thunder- I have learned from the very best on this site!! Lol Df included!!

Funny thing about the verse. I came across it early in my stand. A few months ago my mom brought me some stuff that was my grandmothers (she passed 30 years ago) and low and behold there was a little plaque in there, with that verse. It now is on my bathroom vanity and I see it every morning!! Another God-incidence!!

Update:

Hockey game was awesome on Thursday! Row 6 and we won 4-0!! Woo! Had Friday off and the weather was crap here so it was nice not to have to go to work. Took the day to do very little. Sunday night went to a worship service with SIL and it was really good.

H messaged back last Wednesday saying he spoke to the town. To rectify our situation it will involve a fine of $550 (that's on his tab... not mine  :) ) and a bunch of paperwork. As well he required to get info from the fellow who built our deck who is notoriously slow at getting anything done!! Yay! I responded. Thanks for the update...haven't heard from him since. No news is good news!! No showings either  ;D.

In other news, I've met a number of people via my cousin from all different walks. She has a very eclectic friend group and it has been a lot of fun. One of these people is a fellow who has been in the process of divorcing for 5 years... dated internationally and got a girl pregnant on his first visit to meet, says he's trying to get her and the child here from the Ukraine blah, blah, blah. All I pretty much heard was "I have MLC and no responsibilities." Don't get me wrong...nice enough guy... BUT. My cousin has known him since grade school. She had told him a little about my sitch. We've hung out in a group a few times. He's asked me what my deal is and why I am waiting around for my H, I just went with " I'm not waiting on anyone  and I don't believe in divorce." That worked for awhile.

Dude messaged last night and figured we should just chat sometime. At my convenience and wherever I would like to go, and just as friends of course  ;) ;). We're both separated etc (seems to have forgotten about the gf).  That my answer I gave him though plausible, is probably the "denial" part of my separation which is masquerading as "grief". He has a tough exterior but would like to open up, we can see how that goes?!?!?! So I waited to reply until this morning. Pro's, good looking, fit, good conversationalist, witty, watches hockey. Cons.... MLC, Wife and GF. Hmmm which way should I go. Lol. So I laid it on the line. Told him I was standing for my marriage, a decision that I made due to my belief in God and what His will is for my marriage. So instead of thinking I am in denial...you can now think of me as a Jesus freak  :). Thanks for the offer. You're welcome to continue to hang out with my cousin and I. Exchanged a few more messages, perhaps I have "control issues"  ::), don't always have to be right  ::) and ended with he wants to send me an e book that he thinks I should read and the offer remains open, he's not going anywhere (weird... shouldn't you be planning a trip to the Ukraine?) Told him go ahead send the book, hooked on phonics worked for me. I'm literate. I am awaiting said book now, he's going to be waiting a long time for me to take him up on his offer.  I'll let you know what the book is. Lol.

Hugs N Prayers,
FN
M 46
H 40
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

 

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