Author Topic: My Story Awake & Alive  (Read 2926 times)

Offline UrsaMajor

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My Story Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2018, 05:32:03 AM »
Good for you.... You set the boundary (no more threats) and suggested an alternative.

If she keeps that, fine. If not, then the consequences that follow are hers to bear.

It is NOT rocket science...... unless you are an MLC'er....
Me - 55
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 8
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer has filed for D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online SilverTopic starter

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #21 on: November 22, 2018, 01:49:16 AM »
Thanks UM,

It is NOT rocket science...... unless you are an MLC'er....

Well I can't argue about that with rocket scientist, can I?  ;)
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline Acorn

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #22 on: November 22, 2018, 08:59:22 AM »
Silver, you proved once again that we, the LBS, have to be the bigger person for the sake of our sanity and our beloved children. You refused to feed her immature fire by responding at her level.
Good for you!
((((((HUGS)))))). You and your kids are always in my heart and prayer.
Feb 2015: BD 1. H has a Nuclear meltdown.  The next morning arctic cold descends.
Oct 2015: BD 2,  ILYBIANILWY. “We should not have gotten married.”
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Never left home
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline Rosetintedglasses

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2018, 07:14:23 AM »
I managed to stay calm and polite, wrote to her that I understand she is angry bc they didn’t say hello to her but she shouldn’t mix her anger to our S’s matter.

Silver, this is great and exactly the way to go forward with her. Not quite sure how you manage to be calm and polite around her but good for you, you are the strength as we always knew!

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - Sept 2016 and BD2 - May 2017
ILYBINILWY - June 2017
PA with MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2017 then EA until ?
Left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9313.30

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2018, 10:54:39 AM »
Well I think we all knew Monster was alive and well but asleep for a while. You handled it brilliantly Silver. Don't give it air but keep those boundaries in place. You are amazing. It must be so hard to watch xW with OM as they act as parents to your beautiful children. What restraint you show. And love and patience and grace. Thank you for being such a great example.
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline gman242

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #25 on: November 24, 2018, 09:46:11 AM »
Silver, you proved once again that we, the LBS, have to be the bigger person for the sake of our sanity and our beloved children. You refused to feed her immature fire by responding at her level.
Good for you!
((((((HUGS)))))). You and your kids are always in my heart and prayer.

I wish there was a like button for this!

Online SilverTopic starter

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #26 on: December 07, 2018, 02:52:00 AM »
Thank you Acorn, Rose, KIT, gman!

Time to journal

What happened after my last update got my jaw drop. After few days I got a letter from social worker, saying that XW made an official report about me and my parents, accusing me for giving wrong medication to S4 and asked social officials to assess if my children are safe with me  :o :o :o

Yep.

I couldn't believe my eyes, she actually did this!!! Social worker wrote in the letter that report doesn't lead to any actions from their side, but also that "they want to remind that children should not be given wrong medication or be left without care in either home..."

I mean WHAT THE F**K?! I contacted social office's supervisor and asked why they wrote something like that based on 100% lies about what "happened" (NOTHING HAPPENED!) and without asking me anything? I wrote an email to him which he kindly attached to our file (yes we have one now thanks to alien). I told him I will officially apply a correction to the letter's phrasing, which gives an impression that negligence or whatever it is called, had happened. Luckily we have a law that allows me to do this.

Let me tell you once again, S4 was in perfect care during that whole day, BOTH my parents and D10 were at home with him. His medication was EXACTLY as it should have been and as I told my parents to give to him, they even made a paper about what he got and what time, what was his temperature and so on.

I filed a police report about false accusation. Not to play games with her or threaten her but to show that I am very serious and have zero tolerance what comes using my kids in HER game. It will take 6 months or so before police does anything in cases like this, they may decide to drop it off as well. At least I will show her some boundaries here anyway. I told her I filed and she was bemused and said "YOU are so confused, hope you are happy now".  :o

No I'm not happy about this. I would be happy if she stopped acting like idiot but I guess she is not ready for that yet. Maybe one day but until then...drama goes on.

"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Online Treasur

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #27 on: December 07, 2018, 03:11:22 AM »
I think you had no choice really but to ensure that your side of events was documented just in case her plan is to try to get full custody of both kids. I hope not but she seems pretty angry and things took a downturn quite quickly. Do you think it's really about your parents or more about your relationship with J? Or just general control stuff?
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Online SilverTopic starter

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #28 on: December 07, 2018, 03:35:44 AM »
Thanks for replying Treasur.

I am pretty sure she felt offended bc they didn't come to say hello to her but waited at the living room. I can't blame them, she has expressed rather clearly that she has no respect on them. She didn't even say hi to them when they met at our house earlier this year. She has always thought they are not the kind of grandparents she would want them to be. I think too that she is really bitter to life bc she lost her mother way too early and her father a little later too. In fact I believe her MLC was originally planted when her mother died an year before we started to be together, roots have been growing since then and exhausting years with our very allergic children and many other things did the watering. Her father's death an year before MLC overtly started was the final hit.

So, this is why she can't stand my elderly parents which have never filled her expectations and that's why she hate them. Too bad she is using our kids now expressing her anger, that's not something I can tolerate.
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline Acorn

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Re: Awake & Alive
« Reply #29 on: December 07, 2018, 03:59:37 AM »
Wow, she is bitter, isn’t she?! 
Her action is reprehensible because they are false, mean, immature and smells like a revenge of sorts.  Maybe she doesn’t like that you are seeing someone?

Doesn’t she have what she wanted now?  A new man, D, Silver out of the way.  You would think she is very happy now.  NOT!  O well, she did it to herself, AND dragging along the whole family through the field of misery as well.

Good thing that you filed the report with the police.  You never know what her end game is.  It is wise to protect yourself by officially documenting anything that may impact your allotted time with the kids. 

 You have a wonderful weekend, Silver!
(((((((HUGS))))))))
« Last Edit: December 07, 2018, 04:00:58 AM by Acorn »
Feb 2015: BD 1. H has a Nuclear meltdown.  The next morning arctic cold descends.
Oct 2015: BD 2,  ILYBIANILWY. “We should not have gotten married.”
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Never left home
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

 

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