Author Topic: My Story Nightmare Before Christmas 2  (Read 1116 times)

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« on: November 07, 2018, 07:13:27 AM »
Please could someone link my old thread?  I am not entirely sure what to do!

Thank-you for the reminder to start a new thread and thank-you to Seahorse for prompting me, after three months to update my story. 

A very brief recap is that on Halloween of last year my H announced that he was on a cliff edge and jumping.  Turned out this meant he was divorcing me, though he has never actually used that word!  He said there was no one else but he just, at the age of 62, wanted to do all the things he felt I had held him back from.  He left on NYE.
By February I had discovered that he actually left for a woman 17 years his junior that he met whilst walking our dogs.  Together they spent five months gallivanting around the DR and the Caribbean.  He pretty much ignored all communication from me and when he did respond it was erratic. 
At the end of May he started to communicate with me and our 20 yo D.  I also started to see OW back in our neighborhood. 
In July he and I went for a drink and ended up going back to his hotel (he is still living many states away).
In August he came into town and helped me out with a problem I was having and also joined me for dinner with friends.  We had a lovely evening.
A week later we met up to help D move into her new apartment.   We shared a hotel room but he was a little more distant than he had been the previous week,
We parted ways and he then became very distant though agreed to come to a marriage workshop with me once our divorce was complete, he said he would come to show his love for me.
He chose to not evacuate during Hurricane Michael.  I googled his name and Hurricane Michael and there is a woman holding up a picture of him saying how scared she was as he had gone missing and she couldn't get in touch with him and how it was the worst 24 hours of her life.   
Since then he has moved to her town.  If anything she is even more crazy than the first OW but a little scarier. 

Original OW contacted me.  She apologized for the hurt she caused and then gave me some information to help me during the divorce.  I was pretty calm and asked her all of the questions I felt I needed to know to help me understand what happened a little better.  I will post about our discussion sometime as I know I monkey brained terribly about their life together - turns out it really wasn't the life I had imagined. 

I don't have much time right now but that is a brief update.  Everyday is still hard and I still miss him terribly and cry at random times.  I am trying to move on with life but until the divorce is finalized it really is difficult to find my direction. 
Thank-you for reading and a special thank-you to Sea and NeverSayNever for being there and inspiring me.  Without this site and everyone's stories I know I would not have the acceptance and understanding of his behavior as I do today. 

Previous thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9920.0

« Last Edit: November 07, 2018, 07:31:43 AM by Thunder »
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW1 living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs.  Ended May 2018
OW2 Tinder date for a few weeks
OW3 Tinder became serious.  Ended late October 2018.  She sent OW1 all of their e-mails and texts.  They were so in love it bought tears to his eyes.
OW4 Met and fell in love beginning of October 2018.  They are so in love it brings tears to his eyes.  She says God brought him into her life.

Offline Thunder

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2018, 07:48:08 AM »
Attaching, 20th.   :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Online RedStar

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2018, 08:14:43 AM »
Me too. Good to see you posting.

Offline In the valley

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2018, 09:22:28 AM »
I also Monkey brain about what things are like in their world.  I have gotten some clues and doesn't seem to be a bed of roses.  I'm very curious what you learned.  Yours is the only story i've seen that managed to have a civil discussion with the OP.
M39, W38, D16, S14, S13 at BD. 20yr together married 18
Said I love you every night before bed good physical R
8/31/17 filed for D, left papers at house for me to find. Didn't come home or answer phone.
Moved to her parents house 2 doors down.
9/15/17 discover OM and PA she had the night of BD.
OM 12yr older unemployed in NY city met online leaving to marry him.  Said "I've done things for others my whole life time for me to do something for me", "I deserve to do what makes me happy!"
10/31/2017 left for good.
D final 12/21/2017
Returned once 3/28/18 to visit family.
Convinced D to leave and live with her 6/4/2018
Boys both live with me don't talk to mom.

Offline Never say never

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2018, 05:34:43 AM »
Hi, 20th ...

Glad to see that you posted an update.  Please share more of your story as to what is going on with you.  We all care.

I know you are going through your own rough times right now, but I think it would be helpful to put out there what you found out from the OW and the relationship she had with your husband.  We all tend to think it's rainbows and unicorns, but it's not.  You were very brave to actually have met up with her.  Makes you realize what an affair-down these women are, huh?  So sad.

Hugs xoxo

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2018, 03:25:58 PM »
Thank-you for the prompt Never!

I read back through my original posts on my thread and I really was obsessed with the OW and the thought that she and my H were having an amazing adventure traveling around Florida and the Caribbean.  This was fueled by her instagram which was photos of her in her new bikinis, beautiful sunsets and sandy beaches.
My H and the OW ended their relationship at the end of May.   I knew immediately as my H started to reach out to me more, his messages were warmer and he also contacted our D20.  Plus, the OW was seen around our town.
Anyway, a few weeks ago she contacted me through FB messenger.  I accepted her request to speak and she immediately texted me .  She had heard that I had said something about her youngest daughter and she wanted to correct me.   I have done a great deal of work on understanding my emotions so I apologized for inadvertently perpetuating local rumor and gossip.   I explained that at that time I probably had not been in a good place for obvious reasons.
She then apologized to me and explained how she and my H had met whilst walking the dogs and she had been overwhelmed by his intellect. 
After he left me he paid her rent for several months and her credit card.
She was happy to tell me everything.  She then went on to list the things about my H that she didn't care for.  The ones I remember are his inability to jump in water without holding his nose, the way he wears his pants too high and his hairy back..........
She was also embarrassed by his age.  He is only 5 years younger than her mother.   
However, she also grew tired of just hanging about watching Netflix.............all the while I was imagining their fabulous exciting time! 

She thinks I seem really cool and think we could be friends.  Ha! 
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW1 living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs.  Ended May 2018
OW2 Tinder date for a few weeks
OW3 Tinder became serious.  Ended late October 2018.  She sent OW1 all of their e-mails and texts.  They were so in love it bought tears to his eyes.
OW4 Met and fell in love beginning of October 2018.  They are so in love it brings tears to his eyes.  She says God brought him into her life.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2018, 04:55:45 AM »

She was happy to tell me everything.  She then went on to list the things about my H that she didn't care for.  The ones I remember are his inability to jump in water without holding his nose, the way he wears his pants too high and his hairy back..........
She was also embarrassed by his age.  He is only 5 years younger than her mother.   
However, she also grew tired of just hanging about watching Netflix.............all the while I was imagining their fabulous exciting time!

Oh My Lord...... So many IMPORTANT things....
"his inability to jump in water without holding his nose, the way he wears his pants too high and his hairy back"


 
She thinks I seem really cool and think we could be friends.  Ha!

You ARE cool... You didn't kill her or even whack her with a 2x4.... As for being friends?

« Last Edit: November 15, 2018, 07:28:40 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Never say never

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2018, 04:58:07 AM »
UM ...  LMAO ;D ;D ;D

Offline Treasur

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2018, 05:04:14 AM »
She's right that you're cool...whereas she is a rather dumb moneygrabber with low morals...very typical ow...nah, I'm not seeing that as a match lol
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Nerissa

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2018, 07:23:19 AM »
...So you were preventing him from watching Netflix?  No wonder he was forced to leave you.

 

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