Author Topic: My Story Nightmare Before Christmas 2  (Read 1122 times)

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« on: November 07, 2018, 07:13:27 AM »
Please could someone link my old thread?  I am not entirely sure what to do!

Thank-you for the reminder to start a new thread and thank-you to Seahorse for prompting me, after three months to update my story. 

A very brief recap is that on Halloween of last year my H announced that he was on a cliff edge and jumping.  Turned out this meant he was divorcing me, though he has never actually used that word!  He said there was no one else but he just, at the age of 62, wanted to do all the things he felt I had held him back from.  He left on NYE.
By February I had discovered that he actually left for a woman 17 years his junior that he met whilst walking our dogs.  Together they spent five months gallivanting around the DR and the Caribbean.  He pretty much ignored all communication from me and when he did respond it was erratic. 
At the end of May he started to communicate with me and our 20 yo D.  I also started to see OW back in our neighborhood. 
In July he and I went for a drink and ended up going back to his hotel (he is still living many states away).
In August he came into town and helped me out with a problem I was having and also joined me for dinner with friends.  We had a lovely evening.
A week later we met up to help D move into her new apartment.   We shared a hotel room but he was a little more distant than he had been the previous week,
We parted ways and he then became very distant though agreed to come to a marriage workshop with me once our divorce was complete, he said he would come to show his love for me.
He chose to not evacuate during Hurricane Michael.  I googled his name and Hurricane Michael and there is a woman holding up a picture of him saying how scared she was as he had gone missing and she couldn't get in touch with him and how it was the worst 24 hours of her life.   
Since then he has moved to her town.  If anything she is even more crazy than the first OW but a little scarier. 

Original OW contacted me.  She apologized for the hurt she caused and then gave me some information to help me during the divorce.  I was pretty calm and asked her all of the questions I felt I needed to know to help me understand what happened a little better.  I will post about our discussion sometime as I know I monkey brained terribly about their life together - turns out it really wasn't the life I had imagined. 

I don't have much time right now but that is a brief update.  Everyday is still hard and I still miss him terribly and cry at random times.  I am trying to move on with life but until the divorce is finalized it really is difficult to find my direction. 
Thank-you for reading and a special thank-you to Sea and NeverSayNever for being there and inspiring me.  Without this site and everyone's stories I know I would not have the acceptance and understanding of his behavior as I do today. 

Previous thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9920.0

« Last Edit: November 07, 2018, 07:31:43 AM by Thunder »
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW1 living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs.  Ended May 2018
OW2 Tinder date for a few weeks
OW3 Tinder became serious.  Ended late October 2018.  She sent OW1 all of their e-mails and texts.  They were so in love it bought tears to his eyes.
OW4 Met and fell in love beginning of October 2018.  They are so in love it brings tears to his eyes.  She says God brought him into her life.

Offline Thunder

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2018, 07:48:08 AM »
Attaching, 20th.   :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline RedStar

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2018, 08:14:43 AM »
Me too. Good to see you posting.

Offline In the valley

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2018, 09:22:28 AM »
I also Monkey brain about what things are like in their world.  I have gotten some clues and doesn't seem to be a bed of roses.  I'm very curious what you learned.  Yours is the only story i've seen that managed to have a civil discussion with the OP.
M39, W38, D16, S14, S13 at BD. 20yr together married 18
Said I love you every night before bed good physical R
8/31/17 filed for D, left papers at house for me to find. Didn't come home or answer phone.
Moved to her parents house 2 doors down.
9/15/17 discover OM and PA she had the night of BD.
OM 12yr older unemployed in NY city met online leaving to marry him.  Said "I've done things for others my whole life time for me to do something for me", "I deserve to do what makes me happy!"
10/31/2017 left for good.
D final 12/21/2017
Returned once 3/28/18 to visit family.
Convinced D to leave and live with her 6/4/2018
Boys both live with me don't talk to mom.

Offline Never say never

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2018, 05:34:43 AM »
Hi, 20th ...

Glad to see that you posted an update.  Please share more of your story as to what is going on with you.  We all care.

I know you are going through your own rough times right now, but I think it would be helpful to put out there what you found out from the OW and the relationship she had with your husband.  We all tend to think it's rainbows and unicorns, but it's not.  You were very brave to actually have met up with her.  Makes you realize what an affair-down these women are, huh?  So sad.

Hugs xoxo

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2018, 03:25:58 PM »
Thank-you for the prompt Never!

I read back through my original posts on my thread and I really was obsessed with the OW and the thought that she and my H were having an amazing adventure traveling around Florida and the Caribbean.  This was fueled by her instagram which was photos of her in her new bikinis, beautiful sunsets and sandy beaches.
My H and the OW ended their relationship at the end of May.   I knew immediately as my H started to reach out to me more, his messages were warmer and he also contacted our D20.  Plus, the OW was seen around our town.
Anyway, a few weeks ago she contacted me through FB messenger.  I accepted her request to speak and she immediately texted me .  She had heard that I had said something about her youngest daughter and she wanted to correct me.   I have done a great deal of work on understanding my emotions so I apologized for inadvertently perpetuating local rumor and gossip.   I explained that at that time I probably had not been in a good place for obvious reasons.
She then apologized to me and explained how she and my H had met whilst walking the dogs and she had been overwhelmed by his intellect. 
After he left me he paid her rent for several months and her credit card.
She was happy to tell me everything.  She then went on to list the things about my H that she didn't care for.  The ones I remember are his inability to jump in water without holding his nose, the way he wears his pants too high and his hairy back..........
She was also embarrassed by his age.  He is only 5 years younger than her mother.   
However, she also grew tired of just hanging about watching Netflix.............all the while I was imagining their fabulous exciting time! 

She thinks I seem really cool and think we could be friends.  Ha! 
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW1 living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs.  Ended May 2018
OW2 Tinder date for a few weeks
OW3 Tinder became serious.  Ended late October 2018.  She sent OW1 all of their e-mails and texts.  They were so in love it bought tears to his eyes.
OW4 Met and fell in love beginning of October 2018.  They are so in love it brings tears to his eyes.  She says God brought him into her life.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2018, 04:55:45 AM »

She was happy to tell me everything.  She then went on to list the things about my H that she didn't care for.  The ones I remember are his inability to jump in water without holding his nose, the way he wears his pants too high and his hairy back..........
She was also embarrassed by his age.  He is only 5 years younger than her mother.   
However, she also grew tired of just hanging about watching Netflix.............all the while I was imagining their fabulous exciting time!

Oh My Lord...... So many IMPORTANT things....
"his inability to jump in water without holding his nose, the way he wears his pants too high and his hairy back"


 
She thinks I seem really cool and think we could be friends.  Ha!

You ARE cool... You didn't kill her or even whack her with a 2x4.... As for being friends?

« Last Edit: November 15, 2018, 07:28:40 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Never say never

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2018, 04:58:07 AM »
UM ...  LMAO ;D ;D ;D

Offline Treasur

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2018, 05:04:14 AM »
She's right that you're cool...whereas she is a rather dumb moneygrabber with low morals...very typical ow...nah, I'm not seeing that as a match lol
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Nerissa

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2018, 07:23:19 AM »
...So you were preventing him from watching Netflix?  No wonder he was forced to leave you.

Offline In the valley

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2018, 11:25:40 AM »
Its funny I found out some of the same, that the OM my XW is with never goes anywhere and doesn't like to do anything.  She went to Yonkers right outside NewYork City thinking she'd see all these great places and 1 year in hadn't made it to down town.  My X complained about working all the time but yet doesn't have any money.  It's not hard to realize all of it is for supporting the OM.  It's such a shame our kids are robbed of that support, instead it goes to some random Ahole.  Makes me so mad!!  The massive stupidity of it all...   
M39, W38, D16, S14, S13 at BD. 20yr together married 18
Said I love you every night before bed good physical R
8/31/17 filed for D, left papers at house for me to find. Didn't come home or answer phone.
Moved to her parents house 2 doors down.
9/15/17 discover OM and PA she had the night of BD.
OM 12yr older unemployed in NY city met online leaving to marry him.  Said "I've done things for others my whole life time for me to do something for me", "I deserve to do what makes me happy!"
10/31/2017 left for good.
D final 12/21/2017
Returned once 3/28/18 to visit family.
Convinced D to leave and live with her 6/4/2018
Boys both live with me don't talk to mom.

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2019, 09:33:12 AM »
Reading lovely Seahorse's update on her thread made me think I should update mine.   I always read people's threads but rarely feel I have anything useful to comment as my own situation is so strange. 

A very, very brief recap:
H left for OW - that ended.
He started reaching out to me but then met someone on tinder.
I found out because she went on TV as he was missing during the hurricane.
So up to that point is included in the first post in this thread.
Such drama since!

So tinderOW is worried sick looking for him during hurricane.  She goes on TV.  Finds him and they declare undying love and their intent to marry.  He moves to be close to her.
Four weeks later she decides she wants to be with her ex so goes to visit him overseas, leaving my H sad.  She has her passport stolen so reaches out to my H for financial help. He says no (blaming it on me).  So she loses her temper and sends me and original OW every single e-mail, text and photo they ever shared. 
It was grim  This happened just before Christmas.

It gets weirder.  TinderOW then spots a viral FB post from a woman saying  that God had brought her "true love" in the hurricane where she had been rescued by a "knight in shining armour,"  Yup.  You guessed it.  My H.  Turns out he was cheating on TinderOW with NewOW.
He is now lving with NewOW who is a very devout Christian, four times married woman.  She had an emergency heart procedure recently (she has a heart condition and "died" a few years ago}. 
This is so weird as my H was quite intolerant of illness .  She has given up her job to be with him and  they spend every minute together.

My divorce will be final this week.  He has been ok but very, very distant with me since moving in with OW4. 
I saw him in court a few weeks ago and he cried. 

I am doing ok but am tired of the whole process.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2019, 09:50:45 AM by 20thcenturygirl »
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW1 living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs.  Ended May 2018
OW2 Tinder date for a few weeks
OW3 Tinder became serious.  Ended late October 2018.  She sent OW1 all of their e-mails and texts.  They were so in love it bought tears to his eyes.
OW4 Met and fell in love beginning of October 2018.  They are so in love it brings tears to his eyes.  She says God brought him into her life.

Offline Treasur

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2019, 10:20:31 AM »
Good Lord, 20th - if you'll pardon the pun - your h is quite the high-energy drama llama isn't he? And he obviously sends out 'nutty ow scent'....what a rabble. Doggy ow impressed by his intellect, Tinder ow whose undying love lasts 4 weeks, 'dumsel' Christian ill ow who has been married four times....all in about 18 months? You could not make this stuff up could you? No wonder he cried...what a mess.

I am so sorry for the grim deluge that you were exposed to. And for the almost final divorce....yes the combo of WTF stuff and baby BDs and a divorce process is exhausting. Others told me, and they were right, that there is a strange kind of clear water for you on the other side. Not what you wanted but space to heal without the distraction of his crisis. To feel a little peace and safety and control.

It is good to hear from you and that you are doing ok all things considered. Tell us a bit more about your plans and dreams and schemes maybe? And how is your daughter?

T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2019, 03:08:33 AM »
And the WTF of the year award goes to ....

20thCenturyGirl... Geez, just when I thought it could not possibly get any more bizarre, some Mid-Lifer comes along and ups the ante...

Treasur is right, he DOES have some sort of WhackNut attraction thing going on, doesn't he?
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2019, 07:24:31 AM »
Thank-you Treasur and Ursa

Treasur you always have such a wonderful way with words on everyone's threads.  I love the idea of a clear water waiting for me on the other side.
That would be wonderful and I do hope that is the way things are for you.

I am not sure the current other woman is totally a whacknut (haha love that expression Ursa) as I looked at her FB and it seems she is very well loved and involved in her community - lots of "beautiful inside and out" comments on her posts and references to how she of everyone deserves this happiness.  So, I think she must be a good and kind person.   He certainly sees her as his best friend and they refer to each other as "besties."
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW1 living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs.  Ended May 2018
OW2 Tinder date for a few weeks
OW3 Tinder became serious.  Ended late October 2018.  She sent OW1 all of their e-mails and texts.  They were so in love it bought tears to his eyes.
OW4 Met and fell in love beginning of October 2018.  They are so in love it brings tears to his eyes.  She says God brought him into her life.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2019, 07:47:43 AM »
OK, IF we assume that he has spun a web of lies about him being single or something, I can cut her some slack but "devout" and "married 4 times"  go together like "screen door" and "Submarine."

Him, on the other hand... How did someone else put it on their thread? "That man's cheese done slid off his cracker..."  Yep, it fell on the floor, is being consumed by mice....  and
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2019, 04:39:41 PM »

OK, IF we assume that he has spun a web of lies about him being single or something, I can cut her some slack but "devout" and "married 4 times"  go together like "screen door" and "Submarine."



Just got ice water all over my keyboard, UM!   Bahaha.......

Good to have an update from you 20th. 
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2019, 06:28:32 PM »
20th CG - Nothing more to say after UM and Treasur -- You know how I feel about H's latest relationship...
Life is always great on social media -- STAY OFF OF IT!
Love you - Sea
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline Standing Strong

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2019, 07:45:11 PM »
How do these people find each other????

-SS
W - 38
M - 42
Together 24 years, M 21
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2019, 04:28:34 AM »
How do these people find each other????

-SS

Very Simple SS - BROKEN ATTRACTS BROKEN!
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2019, 09:15:12 AM »
For the first OW I would absolutely have agreed with all of you, but this one seems very well liked, in fact loved by her community, from large and adoring stable family, tragically widowed when her last husband died at a relatively young age. 

So, whilst I think my H is damaged and their relationship moved at lightening fast speed, they seem stable and settled after 7 months, so she just doesn't seem to follow the same pattern as so many OW.
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW1 living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs.  Ended May 2018
OW2 Tinder date for a few weeks
OW3 Tinder became serious.  Ended late October 2018.  She sent OW1 all of their e-mails and texts.  They were so in love it bought tears to his eyes.
OW4 Met and fell in love beginning of October 2018.  They are so in love it brings tears to his eyes.  She says God brought him into her life.

Offline Treasur

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #21 on: July 24, 2019, 09:52:30 AM »
20th....she may have some good qualities etc, of course...but it sounds as if you are comparing yourself somehow or placing some meaning on her not being an obvious nutcase?

She is a Christian living with a man who is married to someone else. Fact. God brought him into her life? Hmm last time I checked God takes that adultery thing a bit seriously....so God may be trying to teach her a rather different lesson than she thinks  ::)
She may have lost her last h who died...but the other three? (Unless they all died which looks more sinister lol) Either she doesn't take marriage too seriously (see above) or has an off the scale bad picker. Fact.
So tbh this woman is either staggeringly foolish or has very elastic values indeed as long as she feels good. Or on the rebound after being widowed (see above re picker) None of these say good things about her as a healthy human. Jmo.
And this is your h's third or fourth magic fix 'twu lurve' in less than 2 years? Again, fact. Yup, no more needs to be said, so in love, tears in eyes etc. Buy shares in Kleenex immediately lol.  They are on their own magical mystery needy tour which may or may not work out. But their foolishness or flaws have nothing to do with your wisdom, imperfections or splendidness imho.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2019, 09:57:39 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #22 on: July 25, 2019, 07:17:31 AM »
For the first OW I would absolutely have agreed with all of you, but this one seems very well liked, in fact loved by her community, from large and adoring stable family, tragically widowed when her last husband died at a relatively young age. 

So, whilst I think my H is damaged and their relationship moved at lightening fast speed, they seem stable and settled after 7 months, so she just doesn't seem to follow the same pattern as so many OW.

Uhmmmmm ... WHAT?  She's shagging a married man who is NOT married to her!  Sounds pretty much like every other AD we hear about... And she's cemented their R with lightning speed to "recover" from being widowed... I have a friend here who's H was killed in a traffic accident 10 years ago... she is STILL not "over it." 7 months or less? Tells you a lot right there...
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2019, 11:26:15 AM »
Yeah...I am with the Bear on this one.  :)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #24 on: July 28, 2019, 02:54:40 PM »
Yeah...I am with the Bear on this one.  :)

The Bear is (always) right!
20th CG - Read the above posts - you need to pull up your self confidence back to where it needs to be.
You know...  (Hugs)
Welcome back UM...

Sea
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #25 on: July 29, 2019, 01:53:07 AM »
Yeah...I am with the Bear on this one.  :)

The Bear is (always) right!
20th CG - Read the above posts - you need to pull up your self confidence back to where it needs to be.
You know...  (Hugs)
Welcome back UM...

Sea

"Always right?" <SNORT!>

Not by a long shot. I can pull a bone-headed move just as well as the next person....

Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Reinventing

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2019, 08:14:51 PM »
I agree. She has all the signs of an affair down. All the facts line up to support that.

Offline One day at a time

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #27 on: August 03, 2019, 02:09:03 AM »
mmmmmm, I would say that someone who has married 4 TIMES (!!) is a pretty damaged person, no matter what the community says and what family she comes from. Stable and settled is what might look from the outside, nobody knows what happens behind close doors.
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.
Confirmation H and OW are together, presume PA  - 3rd June 2019

"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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  • Posts: 3746
  • Gender: Male
  • Back to being #1 for my daughters!!!!
Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #28 on: August 03, 2019, 07:31:47 AM »
Hello,

Quote
She is a Christian living with a man who is married to someone else. Fact. God brought him into her life? Hmm last time I checked God takes that adultery thing a bit seriously....so God may be trying to teach her a rather different lesson than she thinks  ::)

Couldn't agree more. For the record, it is one of the ten commandments so it is a little rule that has been around for a few thousand years. Plus you can be pretty selective in the things that GOD brings into your life. Checks in the mail, GOD delivers-unwanted bills-the work of the devil. That is all perception.

Quote
but this one seems very well liked, in fact loved by her community,

Of course she is, she has been married or or involved with everyone in town.

Quote
OK, IF we assume that he has spun a web of lies about him being single or something, I can cut her some slack but "devout" and "married 4 times"  go together like "screen door" and "Submarine."

Now that is funny.

I agree with the others. Don't compare or worry about her. First of all, you don't know what story he has spun for her to accept. Second, it really does sound that she has more issues than Time magazine, and finally, your H plays a big part in this story and in the end, through your marriage together, he answers to you-not her.

((((Hugs))) and more ((((Hugs)))

Ready
"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

 

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