Author Topic: My Story Nightmare Before Christmas 2  (Read 1110 times)

Offline 20thcenturygirlTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2019, 09:15:12 AM »
For the first OW I would absolutely have agreed with all of you, but this one seems very well liked, in fact loved by her community, from large and adoring stable family, tragically widowed when her last husband died at a relatively young age. 

So, whilst I think my H is damaged and their relationship moved at lightening fast speed, they seem stable and settled after 7 months, so she just doesn't seem to follow the same pattern as so many OW.
H 62
Me 51
BD October 31st 2017
Three months of confusion & coming & going
Left Home December 28th 2017
OW1 living the life with him January 31st 2018 - met her whilst walking dogs.  Ended May 2018
OW2 Tinder date for a few weeks
OW3 Tinder became serious.  Ended late October 2018.  She sent OW1 all of their e-mails and texts.  They were so in love it bought tears to his eyes.
OW4 Met and fell in love beginning of October 2018.  They are so in love it brings tears to his eyes.  She says God brought him into her life.

Online Treasur

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #21 on: July 24, 2019, 09:52:30 AM »
20th....she may have some good qualities etc, of course...but it sounds as if you are comparing yourself somehow or placing some meaning on her not being an obvious nutcase?

She is a Christian living with a man who is married to someone else. Fact. God brought him into her life? Hmm last time I checked God takes that adultery thing a bit seriously....so God may be trying to teach her a rather different lesson than she thinks  ::)
She may have lost her last h who died...but the other three? (Unless they all died which looks more sinister lol) Either she doesn't take marriage too seriously (see above) or has an off the scale bad picker. Fact.
So tbh this woman is either staggeringly foolish or has very elastic values indeed as long as she feels good. Or on the rebound after being widowed (see above re picker) None of these say good things about her as a healthy human. Jmo.
And this is your h's third or fourth magic fix 'twu lurve' in less than 2 years? Again, fact. Yup, no more needs to be said, so in love, tears in eyes etc. Buy shares in Kleenex immediately lol.  They are on their own magical mystery needy tour which may or may not work out. But their foolishness or flaws have nothing to do with your wisdom, imperfections or splendidness imho.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2019, 09:57:39 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #22 on: July 25, 2019, 07:17:31 AM »
For the first OW I would absolutely have agreed with all of you, but this one seems very well liked, in fact loved by her community, from large and adoring stable family, tragically widowed when her last husband died at a relatively young age. 

So, whilst I think my H is damaged and their relationship moved at lightening fast speed, they seem stable and settled after 7 months, so she just doesn't seem to follow the same pattern as so many OW.

Uhmmmmm ... WHAT?  She's shagging a married man who is NOT married to her!  Sounds pretty much like every other AD we hear about... And she's cemented their R with lightning speed to "recover" from being widowed... I have a friend here who's H was killed in a traffic accident 10 years ago... she is STILL not "over it." 7 months or less? Tells you a lot right there...
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
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Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2019, 11:26:15 AM »
Yeah...I am with the Bear on this one.  :)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Seahorse

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #24 on: July 28, 2019, 02:54:40 PM »
Yeah...I am with the Bear on this one.  :)

The Bear is (always) right!
20th CG - Read the above posts - you need to pull up your self confidence back to where it needs to be.
You know...  (Hugs)
Welcome back UM...

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Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #25 on: July 29, 2019, 01:53:07 AM »
Yeah...I am with the Bear on this one.  :)

The Bear is (always) right!
20th CG - Read the above posts - you need to pull up your self confidence back to where it needs to be.
You know...  (Hugs)
Welcome back UM...

Sea

"Always right?" <SNORT!>

Not by a long shot. I can pull a bone-headed move just as well as the next person....

Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Reinventing

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2019, 08:14:51 PM »
I agree. She has all the signs of an affair down. All the facts line up to support that.

Offline One day at a time

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #27 on: August 03, 2019, 02:09:03 AM »
mmmmmm, I would say that someone who has married 4 TIMES (!!) is a pretty damaged person, no matter what the community says and what family she comes from. Stable and settled is what might look from the outside, nobody knows what happens behind close doors.
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.
Confirmation H and OW are together, presume PA  - 3rd June 2019

"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Nightmare Before Christmas 2
« Reply #28 on: August 03, 2019, 07:31:47 AM »
Hello,

Quote
She is a Christian living with a man who is married to someone else. Fact. God brought him into her life? Hmm last time I checked God takes that adultery thing a bit seriously....so God may be trying to teach her a rather different lesson than she thinks  ::)

Couldn't agree more. For the record, it is one of the ten commandments so it is a little rule that has been around for a few thousand years. Plus you can be pretty selective in the things that GOD brings into your life. Checks in the mail, GOD delivers-unwanted bills-the work of the devil. That is all perception.

Quote
but this one seems very well liked, in fact loved by her community,

Of course she is, she has been married or or involved with everyone in town.

Quote
OK, IF we assume that he has spun a web of lies about him being single or something, I can cut her some slack but "devout" and "married 4 times"  go together like "screen door" and "Submarine."

Now that is funny.

I agree with the others. Don't compare or worry about her. First of all, you don't know what story he has spun for her to accept. Second, it really does sound that she has more issues than Time magazine, and finally, your H plays a big part in this story and in the end, through your marriage together, he answers to you-not her.

((((Hugs))) and more ((((Hugs)))

Ready
"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

 

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