Author Topic: My Story Ready for a New Word  (Read 3818 times)

Offline CanLetGo

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My Story Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #20 on: November 15, 2018, 05:51:44 AM »
Lost you DF, but see you are still rocking this stuff. We are bday buddies, seems to be so many here with bdays at this time. And toilet fixing buddies 🙄 I flooded my en-suite 3 times with a geyser out the top of mine recently...grr...must admit S20 with his strength fixed it in the end. My word was selfish too, or selfcare, along those lines...have achieved it pretty well I think, this has been a massive year for me in the scheme of things. One thing will say is I am dating, it scared the pants off of me, still does I guess...but it is also quite lovely...one day it might be the same for you, if it feels right...I didn’t plan it, it just happened. Take care, I have so much respect for you and the way you do LBS 😊
Me 45
H 49
3 young adult kids
BD December 2013, left home August 2014, D June 2018
OW 17 years younger

Online DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #21 on: November 25, 2018, 08:24:22 PM »
I have survived yet another holiday. Thanksgiving was a repeat of last year with the exception that D drove her and S to xMILs for Thanksgiving #1 and then drove to my Mom’s for Thanksgiving #2. Both kids arrived at my Mom’shungry and complaining that xMIL is a terrible cook (which she is) and there is nobody to talk to at XMIL’s house. My sister asked them a bunch of questions about xMIL and they were both giving her short answers.

 Black Friday the kids and I planned to put up the tree and decorations but that was all cut short when LB decided he wanted to take the kids to a movie with MOO2 and her kids. There was much ado about what movie they were seeing with MOO2’s kids wanting to see one movie and my kids wanting to see another movie. D refused to go at one point and I was utterly frustrated as all the drama made our planned decorating much less festive. Finally, everyone agreed to see the movie D wanted to see and off they went. There I stood with the tree up and nobody to enjoy it with. And for the first time in a long time I had a good ugly cry because I missed my family.

So, I went out and did a bit of shopping because the thought of staying at home by myself with the tree was just too much for me to bear. I stayed in a funk all day Saturday but was better today.

The kids and I finished decorating the house today and D and I worked on a project for my Mom.  LB showed up at S’s basketball practice unannounced. I was so irritated that I had driven back to pick up S only to have LB just show up. I just stood there tapping my foot waiting for S. How much more of my time is this manchild going to waste?

LB decided he wanted to play basketball with S after practice. So I sat and waited. I couldn’t help but notice that LB is now the shape of the girl who turned into a blueberry in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The coach chased them off the court because another team was coming in.

LB spent the rest of the afternoon texting S asking what he was doing. He just doesn’t get it.
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #22 on: November 26, 2018, 02:52:26 AM »
Mid-Lifers - can't live with 'em and you can't hang 'em by their toes from the ceiling fan either...
Me - 55
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 8
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer has filed for D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #23 on: November 26, 2018, 09:40:08 AM »
Oh yuck. I hate that LB and MOO2 took the kids to a movie. Such crap. And I totally get that heartbreak.  A good cry is what is in order sometimes.

That last line about LB texting S all day sounds eerily familiar. Looking at my S's phone I see a huge amount of texts form H that go unanswered from S.  H "texted" S a Happy Thanksgiving on Thursday. Hadn't seen S since Monday am. And then went dark the rest of the week, except for a "What u up to?" text on Sat. Which S ignored. LOL.

They are such idiots! I sometimes am grateful that mine is too much of a coward to not even try to see S. But then it makes me feel bad that S doesn't have a F right now. It's a no win situation.

Hugs DF. Happy you got the rest of the house decorated. I love my Christmas decorations too! Even if I'm not in the spirit, the lights always seem to bring a certain amount of calm and joy.
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Online Treasur

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #24 on: November 26, 2018, 10:06:12 AM »
Mid-Lifers - can't live with 'em and you can't hang 'em by their toes from the ceiling fan either...

Could you have an MLC tree topper?  :)
Actually, no, that's a horrible image....
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Online DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #25 on: November 26, 2018, 11:09:04 AM »
You got that right UM.

KIT I think I would have been ok at home by myself if D hadn't mentioned MOO2's kids were going to be there too. Then I got a horrible image in my head of all of them sitting together in the movie theatre eating popcorn and I got myself all upset. Not even because I want to be with LB - because I really, really don't. It just seems so unfair. I have played by all the rules. Busted my butt being the perfect wife and mother - loyal to a fault.  But yet I am the one sitting at home on a holiday weekend, by myself, betrayed and abandoned. I guess I continue to be dumbfounded by it all. Sigh. 

But you will laugh KIT because I spent my time shopping and mumbling to myself something that you once told me - MOO2 doesn't expect anything from him. Nope - she sure doesn't.  She sure doesn't care if he takes care of himself, or stops living with and mooching off his Momma, or if he has any parenting skills, she doesn't expect loyalty or a moral code, certainly no expectations of dreams or goals - or at least I am not seeing any. Right sad if you wander around a store thinking about it for a time.  So, that did cheer me a little.   

Treasur.... Ewwwwww.  I will stick with my star.   ;D
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #26 on: November 26, 2018, 09:07:50 PM »
Attaching
M-40
H-43
S-18
D-16
S-13
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Saw his POF the first month back
1.5y later no signs of anyone new - workaholic

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #27 on: November 27, 2018, 03:08:38 AM »
Mid-Lifers - can't live with 'em and you can't hang 'em by their toes from the ceiling fan either...

Could you have an MLC tree topper?  :)
Actually, no, that's a horrible image....

I'm going to need some brain Clorox after that one..... Gives a whole new meaning to "sit and spin."
Me - 55
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 8
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer has filed for D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Acorn

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #28 on: November 27, 2018, 05:54:41 AM »
MOO2 doesn't expect anything from him. Nope - she sure doesn't.  She sure doesn't care if he takes care of himself, or stops living with and mooching off his Momma, or if he has any parenting skills, she doesn't expect loyalty or a moral code, certainly no expectations of dreams or goals

If you didn’t say ‘MOO2’,  I would have thought you were describing an inanimate object, like a sack of potatoes.  When they say OW are broken, it is really true...  Broken attracts broken. 

Yes, stick with your star.  Maybe you can stick a picture of yourslef on it for extra shine?
(((((HUGS)))))))
Feb 2015: BD 1. H has a Nuclear meltdown.  The next morning arctic cold descends.
Oct 2015: BD 2,  ILYBIANILWY. “We should not have gotten married.”
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Never left home
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Online DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: Ready for a New Word
« Reply #29 on: November 27, 2018, 09:56:38 AM »
MOO2 and LB are two of the most broken people I have ever come across. At this point, they deserve each other and the moat of sadness, hurt, drama and addiction they have surrounded themselves with.

It makes me realize how far I have come from my post BD days of weeping on the bathroom floor because I thought LB left us for something better. What a joke. Newbies listen up.... you can not even begin to imagine how screwed up the OW is. The mere fact that you are laying on the bathroom floor crying because you care about your marriage and your kids and your inlaws makes you a much better person than the OW right out of the gate. You have feelings and morals. I don't care what she looks like, what kind of job she has, how much education she has, how much money she has.... she or he is a serious train wreck.  Any woman or man who would mess around with a married man has serious self esteem issues and that, my friends, is just the tip of that crazy OW iceburg.  What lies underneath the water is unimaginable to most of us until we get dragged under water by our MLC spouse for a good look.

But the crux of the matter, as it is relevant to me today, is why on earth would I have let these two jokers get so close to me and my life. Why was I willing to sacrifice myself, my happiness, my dreams to try and make these two really broken people happy?  Mirror, mirror on the wall.... 

       

 
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

 

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