Author Topic: Discussion Private Messages  (Read 2275 times)

Offline Anjae

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Discussion Re: Private Messages
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2018, 07:40:11 AM »
I looked through the forum information pages but I could not find any guidelines regarding PM’s.  If there is one, can someone post a link, please?

I don't think there is one.

The meaning of the word ‘Privacy’ is indeed  universal. I was only saying that member was not from HS.

Thanks, OP. Didn't click on the link. Didn't want to touch it.

The thread still creeps me - can´t see what it has to do with vanisher or what people that have been gone for two years have to do with pretty much everyone on HS.

The matter or PMs and what is been happening of late, list of members on a black list in PMs, etc. is scary.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline AcornTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2018, 07:45:10 AM »
The following comment stands:

There have been cases on this forum recently where insinuation or possible defamation of a member may have occurred.  Though no one can stop this kind of behaviour, a concise guideline may help us in that we can refer back to the guideline and reinforce courtesy and integrity.
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Offline AcornTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2018, 07:51:17 AM »
I looked through the forum information pages but I could not find any guidelines regarding PM’s.  If there is one, can someone post a link, please?

I don't think there is one.

Thank you, Anjae, for investigating the matter for me!

list of members on a black list in PMs, etc. is scary.

That’s exactly what I’m referring to.  That is below the belt and needs to be discouraged in no uncertain terms.  The general guideline on HS covers it (be loving) but not specific enough in this case.  ‘Black list’ smells more like ‘black mailing in public’.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2018, 07:52:20 AM by Acorn »
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Offline Anjae

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2018, 08:03:04 AM »
Thank you, Anjae, for investigating the matter for me!

You're welcome, Acorn.

‘Black list’ smells more like ‘black mailing in public’.

Given who mentioned the black list, Mego, and that I was called a mean girl by her, I am certain if such list exist my name is on it.  However, there is nothing to black mail me in public, or otherwise, with.

I am blunt. That is not a secret. I am also logical. That is not a secret. I tend to notice when things don't add up. Again, not a secret. I call a spade a spade and I tell people what I think openly.

It is also not a secret that I didn't enjoy being a mentor and prefered HS tech work. Therefore, when I was a mod, a quickly become a tech mod.

None of that means I am not caring, loving or kind. Just that I don't say "all is well" if I think all, or something, is wrong.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline AcornTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2018, 08:10:17 AM »
I, for one, very much appreciate your direct honesty.  Your empathy for those in pain is plain to see, however, you will call a spade, a spade.  Not something one want to hear but necessary impetus to move forward.  You are welcome to apply that impetus on my thread any time!  ;D

I believe reputation is my property but, more often than not, controlled by others.  That’s why I’m rather set on the idea of a well spelt out guideline re PM.  I guess that’s the ‘bee in my bonnet’ right now.
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Offline Anjae

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2018, 08:15:03 AM »
You are welcome to apply that impetus on my thread any time!  ;D

Thank you, Acorn. You don't need it. Not that I have noticed it.

I believe reputation is my property but, more often than not, controlled by others.  That’s why I’m rather set on the idea of a well spelt out guideline re PM.  I guess that’s the ‘bee in my bonnet’ right now.

Agree. A good guideline for PMs is very important.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline AcornTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2018, 10:58:36 AM »
An update on Forum Information from Old Pilot:

“Based on a conversation from another thread I will post this here which should be OK with RCR.

Personal Messages are "Personal" so they should not be republished in public with out both parties permission.

If anyone has a problem with a particular post giving out information that is yours and you consider personal,
then please notify me.”


This is helpful, OP.  Thank you!

There is a question of misusing PMs to attack a person, or use the fact that one received like minded PMs to merely bolster one’s opinion (“see, I got all these PMs supporting me”) without revealing the sender’s identify.  In my mind, both are reprehensible.  No idea how that can be discouraged, hence, my request for PM guidelines.
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Online OldPilot

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2018, 11:10:09 AM »
There is a question of misusing PMs to attack a person, or use the fact that one received like minded PMs to merely bolster one’s opinion (“see, I got all these PMs supporting me”) without revealing the sender’s identify. 
In my mind, both are reprehensible. 
No idea how that can be discouraged, hence, my request for PM guidelines.
I have no way to read someones PM's if I am not included in the address.
RCR has said that it is very difficult to do this from an administrative point of view.
And NOT something that she has really ever done.

So it really becomes hearsay and like you said there is not much we can DO about it

I mean I could call you a PINK/PURPLE colored person and the only thing it is - words.
There are no ACTIONS behind it.
So like the MLC'er - believe nothing that is said and half of what is done.

I will just re-peat again if anyone has an issue with a post please notify me or a moderator.

Offline Anjae

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2018, 11:16:56 AM »
It may be reprehensible, but like OP said, there is no way of reading PMs.

When we (we mods) wanted to know what had happened to Coffeedrinker, a LBS who had terminal cancer, and stop posting, we though there could be some info in PMs she had exchanged, like hospital, etc. But there was no way to read them.

Unless a Big Brother system is installed on HS, PMs cannot be read by mods or administrators.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2018, 11:29:25 AM by Anjae »
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline AcornTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Private Messages
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2018, 11:24:07 AM »
I’m not referring to monitoring PMs, God forbid, but quoting or mentioning it in a negative way in public, here on the forum for all to see.

I will just re-peat again if anyone has an issue with a post please notify me or a moderator.

I hope many are reading this. 
May I humbly suggest to all that we report pronto any abuse of the PM system to OP, be it revealing private information or misusing it as an attacking point?  That would cut down on unhelpful continuation of the discussion.  When left unreported it may lead to free-for-all, and I believe it compromises the integrity of the forum. 
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Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

 

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