Author Topic: My Story Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2  (Read 1931 times)

Offline Anjae

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16073
  • Gender: Female
My Story Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #90 on: May 13, 2019, 01:45:24 PM »
Why in God's Green Earth our Mid-Lifers, most of whom are NOT intellectually challanged, haven't figured that out yet is beyond me.

Because they are having a MLC?  ;) ::)
I am happy to send 30C your way. The only good thing is that in a day or so it will go back to lower temperatures. The minus? It will be grey, windy, humid. One can't have it all, can one?  ::)

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Disillusioned

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 244
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #91 on: May 13, 2019, 03:28:25 PM »
Number one response, "My dad, and I would ask him why he left me and doesn't want to talk to me."

Gosh darn it.  That hurts.

My MLCer at least said I would have 50%, although she's balked at that several times.  Never wanted it in writing.  But there's nothing she can do.  I've had D8 over a year with shared custody, and despite breaking her arm with me  :( ??? I've done just fine by her.  She used to be able to go several days without talking to me, but needed to talk to her M every night.  Those days are gone.  Now, unfortunately, her new normal is to be able to set a schedule for us to check in.  Doesn't mean she will speak to us.  :-[  I usually get one or two nights a week.  STBXW gets 3 usually.  It is what it is.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2019, 03:32:12 PM by Disillusioned »
M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
STBXW filed D behind my back.

Online UrsaMajorTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 8244
  • Gender: Male
  • Live like they are never coming back
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #92 on: May 15, 2019, 04:04:13 AM »
So, I took D8 to school this morning (actually took both but S12 gets out first and D8 second) for the 3rd time this week... I asked her if she had a good time over the last three days and if everything was OK and she just smiled her big smile and said "JAAAAAA!" and gave me a big hug.  so I asked if she wanted to come next week too like that and she did the same thing... I think potentially the code has been cracked.

We had our moments - When I went to get S12, D8 and STBX were getting ready to go to D's violin lesson but they were all dawdling around STBXW's like they had all the time in the world (they had abotu 10 minutes for an 8 minute drive.... ). THEN STBX comes up with the GREAT idea that I can take D8 to her lesson since S12 and I were leaving anyway. I said sure but that we needed to go quickly.   S12 poked around (the level of passive-aggressive behaviour in that house is really quite breathtaking at times and is guaranteed to get me into a slow boil...). Finally, we got going and I was pushing to get on the way since it was high traffic time and I knew we were going to be cutting it close. We get tot he elevator and D8 was giving me the rainy face. I asked her what was going on.  She pouted a bit more and said "nothing." I just looked at her and said "Oh come on.... If you are going to be giving me the stinky-eye I want to know why.... " Well, she thought that was quite funny - the "stinky-eye" so the rest of the evening after STBX brought her to me after her lesson, she was playing with me making "stinky-eye" faces... so, whatever it was, disappeared as quickly as it came... I am guessing it had to do with her brother then...

Bottom line was that we had a very nice 3 days together and I'm hoping that THAT particular blockade has been broken.... That will, of course, mean that STBX has more "thinky-time" available to her if D8 is with me like she is supposed to be and STBX won't like that much... I guess it will give her the chance to find a new source of happiness, a new R, a new victim, if she chooses.... But that, outside of any impact on my kids, is not my farm, not my cows, not my BS to scoop....
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online Silver

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2028
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #93 on: May 15, 2019, 04:24:16 AM »
Sounds great UM, not sure that STBX founds happiness with all that spare time though... ::)
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Online Helpingme!

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2139
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #94 on: May 15, 2019, 04:30:20 AM »
Glad you had a wonderful 3 days UM. I hope you get a bunch more. If anybody can change the stinky eye to a smile, it is you my friend. When she gets older, you can make her smile sending GIFs. 
Have a good one UM

Offline Savoir Faire

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5121
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #95 on: May 15, 2019, 07:35:26 PM »
Love your 'stinky eye' comment.  Aren't girls so difficult to read sometimes.  I often find those looks come from them when they are brooding and just need a hug.  Her brother probably was the cause, it's possible she doesn't know either, we girls are a strange bunch at times.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Online Silver

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2028
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #96 on: May 16, 2019, 01:50:56 AM »
we girls are a strange bunch at times.

You are?!?! Haven't noticed  :o ;)
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Online UrsaMajorTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 8244
  • Gender: Male
  • Live like they are never coming back
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #97 on: May 16, 2019, 02:00:00 AM »
Love your 'stinky eye' comment.  Aren't girls so difficult to read sometimes.  I often find those looks come from them when they are brooding and just need a hug.  Her brother probably was the cause, it's possible she doesn't know either, we girls are a strange bunch at times.

It was the "brooding" thing but I thought that didn't start until closer to puberty!  :o  <snort>

It was funny because when we got out of the elevator, she did come for a hug so ......

And I am SURE that her brother needling her a bit was NOT helping.....
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online Whyus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3086
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #98 on: May 16, 2019, 02:40:42 AM »
we girls are a strange bunch at times.

You are?!?! Haven't noticed  :o ;)

I never noticed  ;) ;D
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Shining Star

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1144
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 33 - Wind Therapy Part 2
« Reply #99 on: May 16, 2019, 03:25:27 AM »
Great update - very happy you had a few happy days with the kids!  That is like medicine.
H:56, I am 54
BD: March 2014, Left Sept 2014, Back Nov 2014
Left again in February 2015.  Asked for D on 9/22/15
Said he was "sure" he wanted a D in Dec 2015; 
Admitted long term affair - May 14, 2017 - says he is in love with the "symptom" but wants to build a relationship with me with "clear expectations" WHATEVER THAT MEANS!  Settlement Agreement signed 9/20/17.
Divorce final 3/14/18.
NC - by choice - 1/2018

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.