[Treasur]

Your earlier post, Morte? Should be a sticky imho.
Spot on.
It also made me think that they blow us to pieces and leave us drowning in grief and shock...while ow is full of fun and sparkles...bc no one has just kicked her in the face, ripped her life apart, left her worrying about the mortgage and left her kids hunting for a missing face. So the LBS is far from their best shiny fun self and ow is nothing but admiration and sexy times....how unfair is that to be judged on by anyone?
But
With time, we get up off our knees. We dig in to the very best of who we were before them but even more so bc we have been forged like iron. And we carry all the good irreplaceable stuff, the place where they were a good human and husband and father. And we rise up without them.
But
Ow? Whatever she is in the first few weeks or months of the affair is the very best she can and will ever be. And she gets the very worst of the men we loved.
Tortoise and hare story all over again imho. Just takes some of that infamous Time. 

[Mortesbride]

And we get to keep our dignity and self respect. 

[Gettingbackup]

This thread is AWESOME.

Mortesbride - it’s like you know my H.  Your post basically described my life exactly, up to his catchphrase - ‘I’m fine.’  I just hope and pray the rest of my story pans out the way you finish your post.

With H’s EA2, I tried to explain to him she wasn’t after him per se, that there was a kind of woman who enjoyed knowing she could take another woman’s man away, like it was some special endorsement of how uniquely sexy, beautiful, blah blah blah she was. In marriage counselling later he disclosed that he felt really insulted whenever I said this - in true self-centred fashion he took my comment to be a critique of how undesirable he actually was, i.e I was saying she didn’t want him for himself really. He made me out to be some sour b!tch that believed that no one else could want him really.  Even though I had always told him how beautiful I thought he was.  When he told me this in counselling I was flabbergasted, and told him in front of the counsellor what I’ve told him for years - I married him because he was the best man I ever met.  He just shook his head. This thread is incredibly gratifying in seeing the same OW characteristics re-emerging again and again.  I didn’t just make it up.

[Rising Phoenix]

Wow mort, that’s all I can say, that sounds exactly right. Xx

[sachat3]

I will be very sad to see this thread locked at 150 posts hahaha! But I do love it. As much as this forum makes me realise I’m not alone. This thread alone makes me realise literally I’m really not alone. Even Ow is similar.

It’s funny because my Ow likes to post things about me as though I’m stalking her life, as tho I’m doing this and that to her and as though I’m causing her grief. I haven’t messaged Ow in over a year now. I have never in my life made a indirect post about her. I have caught H in some photos WITH OUR CHILDREN. But now I see why, she had to show the world I’m the crazy one. I’m the one with the issues etc. I mean projection anyone!

[MyBrainIsBroken]

But if this is a game or winning to OW. Why do they go through with marriage? Doesn’t that defeat the object!? As that’s a serious thing for a game!

Don't forget, eventually they will divorce and she will get to keep half of his prizes.

[Anon]

Marriage is the ultimate evidence of the win.  No one can argue who prevailed, can they?   Divorce can also be another win, especially if it's their call or if they get lots of goodies from the divorce, like a fat spousal support payment of a house or two for themselves. 

[in it]

I read a meme a while ago that read:

The best revenge when another woman steals your man is to let her keep him.
A REAL man can't be stolen

Honestly most of things blow up at some point with very little involvement on our part. In fact the more we remove ourselves from it the better. The drama, the lies, the sorded details..protect yourself from the proverbial crap hitting the fan.

You'll make out waaaay better emotionally.

What broke up the ex's affair ? Oh it was a drama filled extrodinare before it was entirely over with.A few of the things that happened before that were:

He finally found out she had been lying to him about just about everything.
She over compensated compliment wise,he started to realize she was really going over the top. Then later found out she was trying to keep him from meeting this other woman because he might add it up the exow was a thief (just like him) But instead said to him:

"Oh I don't want you to meet her. If she does meet you she is going to want you."
 He fell for a lot of lines, but he didn't fall for that one.

She stole money from him.

And his kids would have nothing to do with him with her in the picture.
Part two the explosion was much more spectacular.

[Milly]

Morte great, great post on the OW/MLCer dynamics!

[sachat3]

In it - I must say with my own Ow I’ve noticed that a lot too. At the beginning (very soon after BD in my defence) I would try and subtly wind Ow up. As H is a clinging boomerang he would spend lots of time with me running errands, sweeping my leaves etc and the petty side to me would upload a photo to my Instagram. Purely because I knew she was watching. I mean that would cause a slight stir and they would argue a bit. However now I know what to do and not to do and I’m much more detached. Even tho every so often he will still do these things.....I keep them to myself. I notice the poop hitting the fan ALOT more when I’m quite and do nothing than when I made a point of winding things up.