Author Topic: My Story  Growth For A New Half Century  (Read 2209 times)

Offline AnjaeTopic starter

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My Story Growth For A New Half Century
« on: December 22, 2018, 03:58:09 PM »
Time for a new thread. It come in the right moment.

Reposting what I last post on the previous thread as it is important and provides context for the thread title.

I turned 50 today. I don't feel 50. My counsin who had MLC offered me a birthday lunch at a restaurant in the mountains with an amazing view to the Douro. He planned it, I had no idea it was going to happen. He and his wife also gave me a pair on wonderful silver earrings.

We walked a bit on the area, very pretty.

So far, my inner child got nearly all she wanted, books, HĂșngaros (traditional cookies) and a quiet birthday. Aletria, a Christmas dessert I love, is the one thing missing for the inner child. Two more day and she will have it.

I think Christmas day lunch will be at my uncle's house in the mountains. Which will allow for some walking in the wild.

I've was presented with a glorious Solestice Full Moon when going to Mum's and back.  :)

Humans change and, if they see to it, keep growing. The first half century of my life is over, the second half century just started. I don't feel the weight of have lived half a century (put that way it sounds much more than 50 years).

Not even all that come with BD seem to had left extra weight. Yes, a lot of changed in my life and I do not have the life I was used to. My I no longer feel trapped by the events. I feel free and light and the inner child seems to be in charge.


previous thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10189.0 -  A New And Different Growing - Where Will It Lead? III
« Last Edit: December 22, 2018, 04:10:31 PM by Anjae »
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline AnjaeTopic starter

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2018, 04:08:38 PM »
Thank you Hope and Acorn for the birthday wishes on my previous thread.


I really don't have anything on my wish list, Hope. Aside from Joy.

Going with the flow is the mood I am in.

There has been too many complicated full of stress years. BD and all those years afterwards. 8 years looking after grandmother. Aunt's cancer in early 2016 and aunt's stroke early this year.

A peaceful, bumpless, full of joy year would be a great year.


The inner child will be spoiled at Christmas Eve, Acorn. My younger brother does a mean Aletria. My two sisters also do quite a good one. It is funny, I cook, but never did any Christmas cooking. I do the dark chocolate mousse. Was trying to escape this year. No luck.  ::)

I am liking the Fabulous Fifties club! Something tells me it will be a for more fun and joyful decade than the 40's.  :)


Somehow, things do seem to change for the better. I am talking about inner things/way(s) of reacting/responding to things and how we see things.

Did it happen because of Mr J's MLC? I don't know. But it happened. I look at my younger siblings, especially the four younger ones and thing, why so much ado about nothing?

On the other hand, Mr J was always more emotional than I am, and I had a variation of the thought, "will becoming upset change anything"? To which Mr J's reply always was "No".

To him, like to my younger sister, and I suspect my three younger brothers, a fuss mean one cares. To me it only means mess and lack of peace.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Anon

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2018, 04:13:49 PM »
Anjae - I hope you have a fabulous birthday!  I'm wishing for you that year of peace and joy with many more to follow.    :)

Online Shining Star

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2018, 04:15:27 PM »
Hi!  Happy Birthday.  You sound really good.  I am following along....
H:56, I am 54
BD: March 2014, Left Sept 2014, Back Nov 2014
Left again in February 2015.  Asked for D on 9/22/15
Said he was "sure" he wanted a D in Dec 2015; 
Admitted long term affair - May 14, 2017 - says he is in love with the "symptom" but wants to build a relationship with me with "clear expectations" WHATEVER THAT MEANS!  Settlement Agreement signed 9/20/17.
Divorce final 3/14/18.
NC - by choice - 1/2018

Offline PJ Ames

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2018, 07:19:20 PM »
Happy Birthday Anjae! I just hit the big 5-0 last month myself.

Following along.

Hope you have a very merry Christmas and a 2019 that's as amazing as you are.
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Married 1991
S: 24, D: 21 both doing great.

BD #1: June, 2016 - discovered EA with co-worker
BD #2: November 2018 - discovered online relationship with dude she met playing video games; she has never met him in person.
5-day separation (she left), November, 2018
W is trying (a little), but has no remorse. Nowhere near fully-cooked.

Offline Kintsugi

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2018, 07:33:18 PM »
Happy Birthday!!!
When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.  They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful ~ Barbara Bloom

Offline Jackolar12

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2018, 07:43:18 PM »
Many happy returns Anjae, 50 years young and everything to live for. Enjoy your Christmas treats and step forward into a new decade of peace and tranquility.
Best wishes
Jack

Offline Ready2Transform

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2018, 08:55:17 PM »
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! What a beautiful way to start a new chapter, with the biggest candle lit in the sky and celebrations everywhere. Much love to you my friend!
"Unconditional love is the highest of high standards, and while we are letting go of our need to control the process of anyone else, we are taking within our lives complete accountability for our own experience."

http://seriousvanity.com/how-to-cultivate-unconditional-love-and-change-the-world/

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2018, 09:02:33 PM »
Happy Birthday Anjae!!  I hope this is the beginning of the fabulous 50's for you.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline xyzcf

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Re: Growth For A New Half Century
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2018, 09:03:41 PM »
Happy birthday Anjae. I hope you did something fun today.

I am reminiscing. On my 50 th birthday I ate dinner in NYC, saw the Rockefeller Christmas tree and received the best 50 th birthday gift. A suede jacket with fringes a la Crosby Stills Nash and Young but very feminine.

I felt totally loved and totally safe. I had no idea that my education was going to hit in 5 years.

By age 64 I had learned that life is happening and that I needed to live it. That is happening now as I expect it does for each one of us.

Thank you for all your wisdom that you have shared with us on HS and your kindness to me I. Some very shaky times.  A stranger who is willing to listen to me and understand my dark days.

I hope one day to meet you in person. You just never know. We could go to a favela or perhaps to Fatima or to Porto.

One day Anjae, you just never know.

Happy Happy birthday

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

 

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