[Phoenix]

Hey Learning! Great to see you too. We've been around this block a long time, my friend!

[Anjae]

Learning, I have pretty much gave up reading the news, but for the odd culture or science article. Haven't had a TV in years, no radio either. It allows me peace and time to read books. Read a whole book today, plus half of two others.

My social medial and e-mails are always closed, only check when I have to. I don't own a smartphone. Chats have been closed years ago an never re-opened (unless a couple of times to talk with my family who is abroad). No Skype  and the computer camera is turned off.

I love the internet, I'm a geek who was into those early chats like mIRC and ICQ back in the day, read mid 90's. Then it all become old and too much. It had to be cut down.

[LearningIamOk]

Anjae, i don't have a TV but I do listen to the radio. I am reading more also. Sorry to be brief but I broke my right wrist and am typing with my left hand only.

[Anjae]

Hope your right wrist soon heals.

Now that I found Archive.org lends books and other things, I think I will have what to read/watch forever.  Archive.org has a big free archive, mostly for classic books, but I didn't knew their lend policy for recent books.

[Thunder]

Thanks for the tip, Anjae.   

Hope your wrist heals soon, Learning.

[Anjae]

You're welcome, Thunder.

I think they also lend visual materials.

[LearningIamOk]

Thanks for the well wishes Anjae and Thunder.

Thanks for the tip about the books, Anjae.

[xyzcf]

I saw my therapist yesterday and will see her 2 more times. I started therapy with her in August 2017 and felt ready to stop therapy in May 2018 but then he divorced me, suddenly, without any warning and that actually caused me to regress, actually when I look back on it now, in some ways it was worse than BD...different pain I guess.

The therapy I am involved with is Mind/Body work and I am very grateful that I found this practitioner. It was by chance or more likely divine intervention as really I would not have thought about this type of therapy for what I was experiencing.

I have a good life in Colorado. After BD, when trying to decide to go back home or stay, I felt strongly that this was a healing place and so it has been. It was the right decision to stay here.

I enjoyed a wonderful week recently and have just returned home. I spent 3 days at an Abby for a silent retreat, this was the second time I have been there. The nuns are contemplative so they spend their time in silence, taking care of the animals and saying the liturgy of the hours throughout the day, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, vespers, and compline...a rhythm throughout the day that is regular and purposeful.....they sisters are joyful and fulfilled.

I then went to Chicago and visited several landmarks including the Art Institute and I saw the play Hamilton. I had done some traveling by myself years ago and had not enjoyed it...but this time was great. I had FUN! Then onto visit family in Canada.

I have been attending a weekly "program" with a priest and lay person who teach seminarians how to pray. To develop "relationship" prayer and it also has contributed to my feeling more complete and whole. It will continue until the end of the summer....the sessions really build one upon the other....

The other thing is I started a small job as a nurse...I had not worked since 2007 and I am loving it.

I have been exposed to 2 concepts that I had not given much thought to or understanding previously, and I still don't totally get it but wanted to share it here today as it may help others who are stuck like I was in a pattern of pain and fight/flight/freeze.

"St. Ignatius gives us the direction that when we find ourselves in desolation, we must realize that consolation will again return to us. God allows us to be tested through desolation so as to bring about growth, but he never truly abandons us. He may withdraw the feeling of his presence for a time, but he will always make himself present to us once more. And when that time of consolation comes, we must use that moment to prepare for the times of desolation that will come in the future. We “store up” those joyful times in our life so that we may recall them in the times of sorrow to give us hope and comfort."


Not sure why God uses desolations to bring about growth, but in my case, my life prior to BD was full of consolation, and indeed the end of our marriage and family has brought about much growth in my life.

My Beloved is still in contact, albeit superficially as always. I don't contact him like I once did but do respond when he does. That has been his pattern for years......

I hope that all is well with your families...they really are precious and require our attention, for this has hurt our children so deeply. Take care all and may God bless you and your loved ones, may He change those hardened hearts to ones of flesh.

[Anjae]

Thank you for the update, Xyzcf.

Mind/body therapy sounds interesting and focussed on the whole.

[HeartTattoo]

"...when we find ourselves in desolation, we must realize that consolation will again return to us."

XYZ,

Thanks for the update. Your journey is inspiring & I think the above quote can be endorsed by most old-timers & held up to newbies as a sign of hope. I didn't really want to hear that kind of message in the shock of BD (how could I EVER feel better?) I didn't even want Spring to follow the Winter of BD. But Spring does come & consolation comes too if we allow it.

What kind of nursing are you doing? I am planning to leave my hospital job by the end of this year. It is just too physically hard on this old body & I've made good repair to the retirement savings damaged by divorce. I will look for other part-time work, but I don't think it will be in nursing.

Hugs,
HT