Author Topic: My Story Keep it simple  (Read 6434 times)

Offline hopeandfaithTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #90 on: May 12, 2019, 11:43:50 PM »
Hug is gratefully received Shining Star!  Right back at you. ;D
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D19, D17 and S15

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #91 on: May 13, 2019, 12:49:37 AM »
Somehow, the idea of sitting in the back of a plane where the pilot is sitting in the front looking like :

would be singularly disquieting...

The whole thing about him then tracking D17 and reporting to you when you were the one asking if he didn't have her on FMF is just .... well......

SO "out there....." especially when you were asking him if he knew why she was at his place... It is obvious then to the most casual observer that you KNOW where she is AND where he is...

The elevator is definitely NOT quite making it to the top floor in that one....

Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #92 on: May 13, 2019, 01:46:10 AM »
Better question....what was daughter looking for while hubby was out of the picture?  ???
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #93 on: May 15, 2019, 07:00:31 AM »
He needs to be knocked on the head with a sledge hammer 🔨
Seriously H????

(Hugs)
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline Not Your Monkey

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #94 on: May 17, 2019, 06:19:25 AM »
You know, I thought long and hard about what I could say about the current situation. But I couldn't think of anything I haven't said already last year, or the year before.

And I think therein lies the real problem about the situation you face. Nothing has essentially changed on his end.
Beware "MLCers" telling lies.

Offline hopeandfaithTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #95 on: May 18, 2019, 12:45:54 AM »
Morte: D17 didn't actually go in the house.  She likes to go for drives and went to his place as a destination and then went to a look out.  I don't think H's housemates even knew she was there.

31: He definitely would benefit from a hammer to the head.

GiG: Also correct, round and round he goes.

Not a lot to report really.  I saw H for the first time today since his visit to ow's town.  Apparently he didn't drink while he was over there but decided to have a couple of beers last night after he caught up with his parents for lunch.  Felt the need to confess via text later that night.  He has now taken S16 and his friends to the river for the night camping.  He has been in contact a lot over the last couple of days which is a bit weird.  Parting words today were "if you get lonely tonight, give me a call'.  This came about as he was saying he would likely be a 'Nigel no friends' at the river while S16 and his 4 friends do their own thing.  I said I would probably be the same if the girls went out.  So I would say that he is in a sort of semi-chase mode which is a little strange so close to last weekend's return to ow town.

My own mood stabilised this week.  I definitely got a good look at how much room for detachment there still is.  I listened to a few 'addiction' podcasts and they were helpful.  I have otherwise being thinking more about my inner child.  I did a meditation yesterday and asked my inner child what it wants from me and I am sure I heard it say "stop watching him, we can be happy with just us".  Touche mini H@F. 

Off to the movies tonight with my girls to watch The Hustle and then have dinner.  Looking forward to that  ;D
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D19, D17 and S15

Online Evermore

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #96 on: May 18, 2019, 12:52:30 AM »
Oh you’ll love it! I saw it last week. Funnier than I expected. Your update sounds hopeful to me actually. But what would I know?! Still would love to catch up someday soon. Xx
M: 49
H: 51
Married 20yrs, together 23yrs
D: 20
D: 18
BD (that I didn't recognise as such) Easter 2018
BD 9th Sep 2018
OW (45) - he met her in the pub a week before BD, told me about her a week after BD. Thinks 'their planets have collided' because 'their eyes met across the room' and they had an 'instant connection'. Lives with her. Is building a life with her.

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #97 on: May 18, 2019, 05:32:00 AM »
Must be something going round in the air.

I am definitely in the  ''okay just us'' mode too.

You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Milly

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #98 on: May 18, 2019, 03:24:22 PM »
Hope, I enjoyed your update. I'm so glad you're in a more stable place today and are off to watch a movie. Also glad that your H is back in your town, and getting stuff off his chest. It sounds like he's working on things.

Hope you had a lovely night.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

Offline hopeandfaithTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Keep it simple
« Reply #99 on: May 18, 2019, 06:20:57 PM »
Hi ladies  ;D

Milly; the movie was good although I quickly realised that it was a re-make of the movie "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" which I also enjoyed.  The girls and I then decided that the popcorn had been dinner and we drove into town to have dessert at a little place called Chocolatree.  Sooo good.....soooo bad!

Mort; Honestly, anything other than 'us' (as in me, myself and I)  is regularly disappointing.  I had a friend send me a full moon update thingy today. Allow me! "After this Scorpio moon, we will have invaluable insights that help us identify one-sided relationships.  This means that if someone is causing us pain, we won't think twice before cutting the cords and letting them go.  We will be in a no nonsense mood, focused intently on maintaining inner peace and happiness, rather than putting those who don't value us first". Amen!!

Evermore, I would have seen my update and H's actions as positive a while ago too but I am a lot more cynical now I guess.  I feel like one hand is showing me something while the other hand is being underhanded if you know what I mean.  I don't like being cynical, I would rather just not care but that is the space I am in at the moment after this latest reminder that he is behaving like an addict and can be trusted as much as an addict can.  Not quite in the space of compassion and detachment that I would like.  Goals!

BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D19, D17 and S15

 

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