Author Topic: My Story The MLC picture show  (Read 1056 times)

Online sachat3Topic starter

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My Story Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #50 on: March 14, 2019, 03:13:55 PM »
Honestly I say this a lot but D2 is a whole different kinda toddler whirlwind. I think if D2 was my first. She would be my only 🤣

Gosh these clinging boomerangs are so fcking strange man. Honestly. I just. Wow.

So H comes over straight from work. Usual routine. Blah blah blah. I may be getting things in the wrong order but here goes

1. at some point during his visit he went home to get changed. He changed into his city tracksuit and luminous trainers. So that made me assume that H was going to finish off with the children and go see Ow. I mean why else change. As I write this it is 9:39pm and he’s still not gone to see her. So I honestly don’t get it.
2. The concert I went to on Monday was Drake. I personally love Drake. H disliked him but since I’ve been to the concert he “can’t stand him” funny that! H then says “Do you want me to make your life for you?” So I’m like “okay what?” He says “Do you want two VIP tickets to see Drake in Paris?” There was a bit of back and forth and H then says “I won them” so I said “why would you enter a competition to win tickets to someone you can’t stand?” Obviously this was a big huge porky pie coming from H....I just don’t understand why. My friend in RL reckons it’s because he knows I went to see drake with a male, and therefore he’s doing his gorilla beating his chest “you got normal tickets in Manchester but I can get better” scenario. Is this a MLC thing? Or just H being an absolute weirdo.
3. H then asks if I want the children back early Saturday night. I look at him blankly as this is my day and night child free. I said no why would I? He says “oh just sometimes when I’m working the Sunday you want them back early to save you waking up to open the door” I mean I’ve done that once when he started at 3am. Made sense for me to have them and let them wake at a normal time. So I said “No. Saturday is my day. And I’ve got plans” H then said “oh have you?” And made a sexual gesture (implying I’m out with other men doing things) HELLLOOO PROJECTION. I stayed calm and said “I always make plans on Saturday. It’s my time” I mean I have plans but I’m not going out. I’m having a pamper day and then a Netflix night....alone. Mainly because I’ve been out now 7 weekends on the trot and I also was out on Monday. D2 has had hospital trips and I just really need a chilled night in! But I don’t need to tell H that.
4. H then started quizzing if I had evidence. Which for those that don’t know, basically very quickly after BD a few months. Me and H were intimate a few times. I was foolishly under the impression that getting rid of OW meant he would come home. So I took evidence of everything. Recorded our chats. The lot. And one day I sent them all to Ow this was March 2018 I sent everything. Ofcourse Ow forgave him almost instantly. For a while after this we continued being intimate but it’s been months now since we have been but I think H is still thinking I’m going to tell Ow. This also shocks me that H did come back to bed with me and being frank or I wanted him in my bed. I need only click. But this shocks me that H would do it. Knowing what I did last time. Why risk it with Ow? Especially when he needs her so badly? Amy suggestions welcome guys cos this is one of the most confusing things for me.
5. D5 has developed an awful habit of refusing to go to bed in her own bed. When I collected her and carried her over on Monday evening I put her back in her own bed. And ever since she’s atleasy “started the night“ in her bed. She has been creeping into mine during the night but we will work on that once we’ve tackled starting in her bed. However H put them to bed tonight and decided to put D5 into bed with D7. When I realised what he had done. I lashed out by sending him an arsey text which read “Why the f*ck would you put D5 in bed with D7. You absolute b*llend” next thing I know he comes over and grabs me by the throat (in a playful way not violent!) and says “oh no sorry you would enjoy that wouldn’t you” with a smirk and he says “you’ll get that whenever you call me a b*llend” no idea why he couldn’t just ignore it or tech back but hey. Midlife.
6. Tomorrow is D5s reading day so this means that she gets new reading books for the week. She also has some phonics words on a key ring that goes in a plastic wallet. The plastic wallet has her name on. She left it at his house on Monday. So I text him and ask can I have it back. He comes over at first playing dumb about what it is. I said “it’s red and it’s got her name on” to which the penny drops and he fetched it. He then says “oh I thought it was a trap” so I said “trap?” Confused and he makes a sexual gesture. And I said “trap would imply you didn’t want it. If I offered it. You’d jump at the chance. But I’m not offering it. I needed D5s things for school. Nothing more. Nothing less” and he looked at me but I could tell those little cogs were turning in his head. Unsure of what was happening. Gosh it must be hard not knowing what goes on.
7. We got on the subject of social media to which H replied “if I wanted to see what you were posting. It’s easy” I knew what he was getting at. He means D7 has her own Instagram and her own iPad. So all h would have to do is go on and look from her point of view. I know this and I’m aware (and one step ahead) but I don’t actually post anything. I mean this past week I’ve posted the most and that’s only been three posts. 1 was a selfie and the other two were videos from drake. So he wouldn’t be getting any info from my social media. I know ow watches my social media and I know he does. So I’m quite selective in what I post and where. But I also enjoy knowing my private life. Is my private life. The people who know me well know what’s going on and I don’t need or want anybody else knowing things. I’ve always been quite private like that tbh.
8. D2 has been a NIGHTMARE tonight. She’s overtired as she didn’t nap today and I don’t think she’s very well. As I type this she’s only really just settled. Usually when I have a bad night with the kids. I try and deal with it alone. Kinda like right H is gone. I’ve got this but she was particularly bad. so I figured why should I do it alone. I text him to come over and help and he did. We were both on the room with D2. I was in the cot stroking her back when he walked in. So I got up. I mean we were tag teaming. That was the whole point of him coming over so I can have a breather. And he looks me dead in the face. Puta his arm up and says. “Oh you going!” As I walked out the room he said “that was a nice moment?” Nice moment. WHAT?

Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #51 on: March 15, 2019, 03:08:19 AM »
I only have one reaction comment to the shenanigans from H.....

Me - 55
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 8
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer has filed for D

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
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Offline Mortesbride

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Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #52 on: March 15, 2019, 03:20:52 AM »
Jesus it is to early for this but here goes...

1. To look nice for you.

2. Sounds like a guilt tax. He feels guilty about something so he is trying to be a nice guy. Mine does it too.

3. Checking what you are doing since seeing you with a guy.

4. He enjoyed that little game immensely. Two women fighting over him stroked his ego in a way he would like to feel again. He doesn't need her...he needs to feel important.

5. That isn't mid life. That is physical disturbing territorial behaviour you should be worried about. Beast has never even in his wilder moments put his hands on me.

6. This makes me glad I don't have this part muddled up. To me from the outside, it sounds really creepy, particularly when you take into account number 5. Almost like he views you as his both in a marriage way and a sexual way. Sending up danger flags in my head.

7. Well they all social media stalk us so...that's a given.

8. Stop calling him over for everything. All you are doing is stroking his ego making him think you need him.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #53 on: March 15, 2019, 03:39:07 AM »
UM - honestly that was my reaction. Hence why I might have got the order muddled. To me I spent so long talking to my friend on the phone and all we both kept saying was “What!?” “What the hell” it’s a strange thing. He hasn’t ever really been like this before.

Mortes - Maybe he did want to look nice for me ha but the outfit was honestly so awful. He genuinely looked like a 15 year old boy.  Defo not my thing. He never had the tickets so it seems odd that he would “joke” about it. Beyond strange. The grabbing by the throat is something we both would do to each other when together as we both laughed at a meme that had a woman dragging a boy by his throat and the caption said “when you see your man screaming these hoes ain’t loyal in the club” and a few weeks ago I uploaded the same meme to my Facebook. So I’m assuming he’s reactivated Facebook and saw it. That is the reason I usually deal with the kids alone purely to take that “I need him” mentality away but last night D2 was so particularly bad I was close to LITERALLY pulling my hair out.

Friday is always his “night off” and even when he has the full day off as Ow usually has to work Fridays. He usually does the school run etc when day off. Or atleast he’s around. Today when I woke up at 7:30. He was gone. So I assume Ow has the day off and they have plans today. As well as plans on Monday and Tuesday next week. So I don’t know if that played part in his strange behaviour last night as I have mentioned before H tends to make more of a beeline towards me when he’s about to spend more time with Ow. Or he has spent a lot of time with her. Or maybe it could be the relief that this was one of the first apps D2 has been to hospital for and not had to stay in. Last time she went in for a eye test and we didn’t leave the hospital for almost two weeks!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Treasur

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Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #54 on: March 15, 2019, 03:44:42 AM »
I agree with Morte.
There is a lot of control coming off your h's behaviour. And putting his hands round your throat? No, not acceptable and a big red flag. You are not the only one here to have experienced something similar but it is not right. Worries me a little that you come across as being quite 'meh' about it.

He uses the kids and living next door to control you and keep you off balance imho. Sometimes it sounds as if he thinks of you as a possession and the sexual comments are deeply disrespectful again jmo.  Right now it seems as if he pretty much has what he wants....what about you?
How detached are you currently do you think?
What is your plan from here?
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

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Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #55 on: March 15, 2019, 04:09:23 AM »
I can understand how it comes across as controlling but I suppose typing it out it’s hard to see the playfulness that was present there. I think in the past especially when we were together, it was always a joke. Same as when we put each other in a head lock and would mess up each other’s hair. But I do understand it’s hard to convey that online.

No I agree that he makes many many sexual comments. I don’t know if that’s because I’ve stopped jumping into bed with him and he’s no longer getting his fix or if Ow isn’t doing it for him or what. I can’t really answer that. Because on a normal day to day day. He won’t really make too much comments unless he knows he’s going to be seeing or spending a lot of time with Ow. I think the problem also is FIL is also known for making many many crude jokes and comments and so I think that’s rubbing off on H. H has always struggled to find somewhere to fit in. He’s never been one of the lads. In fact when most people meet him they assume he’s gay as he gets on better with women, he used to have a avid skin scare routine and really looked after his appearance. So I do think the sexual comments mainly come from trying to “be the man” type thing.

I would say I’m quite detached. I have thought so long and hard about this. I wouldn’t say I’m 100% detached but I’m close. I don’t see him as H anymore. H isn’t there. The man that stands before me, looks similar but H isn’t inside. So in some ways it’s easier to be detached.

I don’t really have a plan so to speak. I just take each day as it comes I guess. It’s funny because for most of 2018 I didn’t feel anywhere near as good or detached as I do now. I used to worry so much about what they did with their time together. Were they going places we went? Was he saying the same things to her he said to me? And now I can honestly hand on heart say. I genuinely don’t care. I don’t care if they go to the same places or he says the same lines. I class myself right now as standing but I do think there is a time limit on that. I don’t think I could stand for 10 years or more. But then who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #56 on: March 15, 2019, 04:58:59 AM »
I quit asking all those questions when I realised the answer never mattered because it was always the same.

Does it matter what he says to her, if they go the same places as we did, does he hold her hand or kiss her or whatever it doesn't matter because she is not you. He still thinks about you, he still lies through his teeth to her, and he is trying to recreate or replace or ignore his life.

No matter what he is doing, where he is going, who he is with the answer is always ''He is not here with his family'' and that is all that matters.

Until that answer changes, nothing else is relevant.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #57 on: March 15, 2019, 05:21:04 AM »
That’s the exact reason I stopped thinking about it. Because realistically he’s got to be telling her the same. How can he not? I mean ofcourse he’s got to fill her head with “your the best I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life” Yadda Yadda. What else could he say “oh you’ll do for now I guess babes?” No. I know they go similar places to us as H has a eating disorder, or that’s the right word. He only eats in a nutshell potatoes. No veg no meat. When we were together he would only eat at frankie and bennys and McDonald’s. He can’t eat anywhere else. But I genuinely hand on heart do not care. And I say that with 100% honesty.

I suppose I never felt things change daily but now I look back, especially when Facebook pops up with the memories and I can see just how much I have changed. I used to try and make H think I was dating. Making him jealous. If my friends were busy and h had the children. I would take myself to a hotel or for a meal and post photo with the caption “Date Night” ya make him think I was with someone. I used to try and Make him feel a certain type of way but I honestly do not even care about that. I don’t care about proving to him other men want me. He’s not stupid he knows they will do. I don’t need to prove anything to him. I will go out when I want too. I will spend time with who I want too. If I want to do my makeup and hair. I will do. But I’ll do it for me. NOT him or anybody else.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: The MLC picture show
« Reply #58 on: March 17, 2019, 03:30:23 PM »
Saturday

I had no idea what time H would be making his appearance to collect the children but I’ve never raced so quickly to have everything ready so it could just be a case of “Hi here’s the kids. Here’s the bags. Goodbye” but he turned up at 9:15. Luckily the kids were ready I just needed to do D2 hair. I wasn’t ready but it was nice that I could get ready in peace without children coming and annoying me ha! I wasn’t particularly off with him. I just didn’t have much to say. He must have asked me 100 times “you okay!” “What’s wrong?” “What’s up?” “Why you in a mood” I told him I wasn’t in a mood and he never seemed to fully believe what I said. I changed the girls rooms around last night and the girls were really excited to show him. I could see his brain doing the motions because when he was here, I would never do anything like that. I left all the heavy lifting, manual work to him. So I did feel quite proud that was a moment of “Ha! Look at me getting on just fine without you”. I told him earlier in the week that he needed to get the girls some new school shoes cos D7 has a hole in hers. As he was leaving I said “Don’t spend loads on them because they haven’t got long left of this school year and also make sure they are proper shoes”. Off he went. I got ready and went to go get my nails done and meet up with my best friend. When I was in the nail shop it came up he was FaceTimeing me but as I just took my phone out of my pocket. I assumed I’d accidentally pocket dialled him. Then he FaceTimed back right away so I answered and he was in the shoe shop and was showing me the shoes “are these okay!?” The shoes were fine so I just said “yeah they are fine. I’m in the nail shop I’ll call you later” he then asked before I hung up for me to look on Facebook (he doesn’t have Facebook) for a cot for D2 as she doesn’t like the travel cot he has. I said I would. After getting my nails done whilst I was waiting for my friend I went for a coffee alone (honestly as a mum this was HEAVEN!!) and I called him. Told him what cots I’ve found and the prices etc. And I made sure the call was short and sweet.

I have a lovely day with my friend. We shopped. We chatted. We had lunch. It was nice to be out in the day as opposed to out in the evening.

I then come home. Had a bath. Had a bit of a pamper. And set down with Netflix and a bottle of wine. Around 10 minutes after I sit down. D7 comes in really excited to show me her new school shoes. We have a brief chat and off she pops back. 5 minutes later H and D5 come over. She wants to show me her new school shoes. H then asks “you not going out?” And I just looked at him. And he was like “you know what I mean” no H. No I don’t. It’s 5:30. I’m on the sofa in my Pjs. Netflix is paused and I have wine waiting for me. It’s clear I’m not going out. I was watching the disappearance of Madeline McCann. H saw this and decided to give his input of what happened to her. Around 2 hours later H pops in again with some bits of the girls stuff. He then says “Is it some sick joke or is Muggy Mike dead?” For those of you who don’t know, muggy mike is a minor celeb, he was in love island and celebs go dating and I watch both of these shows. H does not. So I said “Yeah he is but it’s annoying people refer to him by that and not his actual name” literally no idea why he would ask me. Like I would have some info that the newspapers don’t. H then tells me he’s seen it all over his social media’s. Now I don’t know if this is a coincidence as it has gone a bit viral but I also tweeted a few tweets about it and I’ve also retweeted news articles too. I know H has twitter but I didn’t think he used it. Almost as soon as he left H is back this time with a crying D5. D5 was upset because D7 has Instagram and was sending me messages but she wasn’t letting D5 send me one. So I gave her a hug and a kiss. And off she goes.

I can’t remember  at what point in the night but it was fairly early on H came over for the keys. It’s much easier him having the keys when he’s working because sometimes the kids are still sleepy and he can put them in bed and instead of waiting at the door for me it’s straight in. Anyway, I was wearing my new BARBIE Nightie i got and my new slippers. H came in and said “WTF are you wearing?” And I just said “A nightie” but I so so badlt wanted to say “Don’t mock it mate, cos as soon as it goes on Instagram Ow will buy it and wear it too!” So brownie points for not saying that!

I won’t lie, I know “Muggy Mike” isn’t a person I know in real life but it’s affected me quite a bit. Maybe I’m extra hormonal or something because I’ve been crying like a baby about it. I guess, it’s the implications of what it actually means. This was a 26 year old man, who was good looking. He was famous. He had women flicking around him and yet here we are him taking his own life. It’s actually really sad. I think H realised I was upset about it because he never pressed on the subject and normally he would be like “Oh get a grip you don’t know him”

Sunday

One of the main rules, boundaries whatever that I have said to H is that if he is coming to see the children HE needs to explain it to them. If he isn’t going to see them HE explains it. Because it wasn’t and isn’t fair that the girls could come back from school with no idea of if H was coming or not and then as I’m putting them to bed them to start with “but we haven’t seen daddy”. I’ve explained I don’t really need him to explain it to me but he has to explain it to the girls.

Today when he dropped the children off I stayed in bed and he stayed downstairs. It was very early. The time he agreed but still early. I heard him say to the children “Right love you I’ve got to go work now but I’ll see you after work”.

My washing machine has been REALLY loud on a spin for a while now, so loud that when I’m watching TV I have to pause it. I’ve worked out why, and so I phoned H and asked does him or FIL or BIL know how to disconnect a washing machine and fit a new one. As if I ordered one in the next 25 minutes I qualified for next day delivery so it would come tomorrow but the company wanted a extra £60 if they needed to fit my new one. So I wanted to check. However, normally I hate phoning H but I’m glad I did this time because H is now convinced the issue with the washing machine is covered under the warranty so he is checking that which saves me a few hundred pound atleast if it is anyway! I kept the chat very much straight to the point. When he answered he was chirpy and very much “Hiya you okay” so I just said “quick one” and explained the situation. I didn’t answer any of his questions I merely said and did what was needed. We were only on the phone 65 seconds ha!

As it happens I’m now glad I phoned H as he’s spoken to the landlord who’s having some houses sold and all the white goods need to go. So I can have that washing machine for free. So I’m quite glad about that!

H came home from work, and he explained (again) that he wasn’t going to be here tomorrow or Tuesday, but he had said he will be around in the morning to rake the children to school and collect and fit the washing machine for me. So I will only be without a washing machine for tomorrow which isn’t too bad. I enjoy the peace when he’s not around as I get to sort my own things in my own time.

H put the kids to bed tonight. Thankfully after my melt down the other day he put all kids to bed in their own bed. I have no doubt in my mind that at some point during the night D5 will be in my bed but atleast H out the kids to bed properly!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

 

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