Author Topic: My Story Helping Me in this MLC 6  (Read 1566 times)

Offline PJ Ames

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My Story Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2019, 09:01:48 AM »
Sorry about the baseball drama. That really sucks.

Glad your FB is being supportive. If this would have happened in the past, she probably would have responded differently. So your work and patience has paid off.

Sorry you're having to deal with this on top of everything else. But you've survived worse and I'm sure you'll survive this and come out OK.

Take care, Buddy.
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Married 1991
S: 24, D: 21 both doing great.

BD #1: June, 2016 - discovered EA with co-worker
BD #2: November 2018 - discovered online relationship with dude she met playing video games; she has never met him in person.
5-day separation (she left), November, 2018
W is trying (a little), but has no remorse. Nowhere near fully-cooked.

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2019, 10:55:41 AM »
Well that is just crappy! It kinda seems personal.

Wow--way to go FB stepping it up! Great silver lining.

Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline Helpingme!Topic starter

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2019, 04:43:05 AM »
Thanks my friends.
UM
Head Coach ask me to step down. As for explanation?? I wasn't given one besides, He thought it was best.
Rose it is S17 Senior year. He is finished now. Just waiting on graduation. He was only taking classes to play ball.
Nothing to do with OM. More with small town politics.
Thunder, OneDay, Acorn , PJ, and Kit
I agree baseball issue is a minor thing compared to MLC. Most important thing was my W being there for me. I hope she continues.
As for the team , 5 more kids walked off yesterday.  3 of boys came to my house last night. They are clueless and so am I.
The truth will all come out in time.

As for the Fruit Bat she is still doing Good. My mind still thinks too good , but I'm trying to get past that.
She told me last night, this weekend was kickoff tournament weekend. We have to find US something to do now!
Thanks for all the support my friends.
Have a good one.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #23 on: February 12, 2019, 05:13:46 AM »
I guess that, if you look to see who he replaces you with, you'll find where the real problem is/was.... I despise politics like that with a passion...

Guess that tournament probably won't go so well if 1/4 of the team is missing, will it?

The support you got form within your house though was amazing, incl FB..... I'd say that is real progress.... Enjoy what it is and how it is... That is all you can do, right? It is rather the opposite of dealing with the BD but in some ways similar - one day at a time but in a positive direction....
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 05:16:41 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 55
MLC - 47
Together 19 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer has filed for D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Helpingme!Topic starter

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2019, 07:07:10 AM »
You are right UM.  It's a sad deal. The games have been forfeited.  Not enough kids to play. As said. Not my circus.
Acorn said it. Everything happens for a reason.
My concern is on my family.
I feel as if progress from my W is real. It feels real. I kniw some have shown real movement and run again. 
I've been at this long enough and read enough to know it's a long way from over.
Just trying to stay as I am and ease along.  I am enjoying the peace.

Offline Acorn

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2019, 09:48:51 AM »
Yep, easing along and letting FB cook away at her own speed are the only way. 
When was the last time anyone could hurry a teenager to grow up?  Never. 
Life happens (we can do nothing to manufacture that) and they are sometimes forced to grow up quicker than others.  Mostly though, we let them grow up at their own pace with firm boundaries in place.  MLCers are no different, I found out! 

You are doing fabulously, Helping!  Your temperament is such an asset for a LBS.  It does not mean that you are a pushover.  It means you are patient and gracious enough to allow her to use TIME to grow and heal. 
Feb 2015: BD 1. H has a Nuclear meltdown.  The next morning arctic cold descends.
Oct 2015: BD 2,  ILYBIANILWY. “We should not have gotten married.”
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Never left home
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline 9393roo

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #26 on: February 13, 2019, 04:05:23 PM »
Helping.  Sorry about all the turbulence outside your home.  Great news on the calmness that has lasted inside your home!  I hope it continues for you.  I have hit a calm streak and I am basking in it!  I'm always on edge for when it may end though.  Hope FB can continue to heal and you can too.  I never realized how much what I thought may have been boring times before BD are the times that I actually crave now.  Hope things on the baseball end straighten themselves out. 
Husband 53
Me 53
Kids 3 sons 27,25.22 1 daughter 18
BD #1 Spring 2016
BD #2 Winter 2017
married 30 years.  Together 32
H never moved out except 3 weeks after BD #1
OW 30 year single mom employee-He says EA only I don’t believe him.
He is working on things and far from being cooked.

Online Whyus

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #27 on: February 14, 2019, 12:36:26 AM »
So sorry about the Baseball bull$h!te helping. That sucks for sure and that others are dropping out tells you everything about the bad discision making which has gone on.
Maybe, this is a Little Blessing in disguise for you and your W (I intentionally wrote W instead of FB). As she said, you get  to spend more time together which may not be heaven atm but her saying it alone is huge.

All the best mate, your doing great.
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is trying to get People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 20
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Helpingme!Topic starter

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2019, 09:13:04 AM »
Thank you Acorn , Roo, and Whyus. 
W is still good . Better anyway. It doesn't take much improvement to be better. But it's still peaceful.
I got W a card and a small gift for Valentine's.  She didn't get me anything. Funny thing it didnt affect me much at all. She was very appreciative of my gift. Thanked me on text. And then a hug and a kiss when I got home. The Little holiday still affects her, so it's obvious she still cooking.

Her actions are still good. So I'm still easing along. She had a few quiet moments this weekend.  But I just let her be. I'm GOOD, that's all that matters really. I know it's a long road ahead. So it's just more time.
Have a good week my friends.

Offline PJ Ames

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Re: Helping Me in this MLC 6
« Reply #29 on: February 18, 2019, 09:22:58 AM »
Congrats on the peacefulness. I'm glad you're good. Have a great week yourself.
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Married 1991
S: 24, D: 21 both doing great.

BD #1: June, 2016 - discovered EA with co-worker
BD #2: November 2018 - discovered online relationship with dude she met playing video games; she has never met him in person.
5-day separation (she left), November, 2018
W is trying (a little), but has no remorse. Nowhere near fully-cooked.

 

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