Author Topic: My Story Fancy New Slippers  (Read 783 times)

Offline 9393roo

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My Story Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2019, 04:17:02 PM »
Following along!
Husband 53
Me 53
Kids 3 sons 27,25.22 1 daughter 18
BD #1 Spring 2016
BD #2 Winter 2017
married 30 years.  Together 32
H never moved out except 3 weeks after BD #1
OW 30 year single mom employee-He says EA only I don’t believe him.
He is working on things and far from being cooked.

Offline Shelly7435

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2019, 04:29:41 PM »
Love new slippers! Joining the party
M 52
H 47
M 12 years; together 17 years
D17, S27
Summer 2014 - H wanted to runaway
9/14 I was diagnosed with Breast cancer
11/14 Surgery for BC..3 day after my father dies
11/14 BD 2 days after surgery. I have no passion for you.
2/15 moved out
Dated each other all year affection back on..
3/16 moved home
7/16 Diagnosed with Breast cancer again
8/16 No affection again. I knew something was wrong.
9/16 Another surgery for Breast Cancer
9/16 BD 11 days after surgery discovered -EA with much younger W from Work. That is over. I think he has meaningless flings. Work is his mistress
10/16 I filed for D (financial reasons)
10/16 I moved out.
10/16 Now off and on vanisher
5/17 Divorce final

Online strawberry

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2019, 05:02:22 PM »
That is a fantastic opening post.
H: 43
M: 44

M: 15 years, T: 17 years, Friends: 22 years
No kids
2 dogs, 2 cats

Offline Silver

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2019, 11:22:22 PM »
Following along KIT, love the title  ;D

I guess mostly these wine-colored slippers remind me that there is always a positive side to things, even though we cannot necessarily see it at first. And that we are surrounded by blessings that we forget about. This journey has not been easy, and I've fought tooth and nail against the "process." But still I can see so many blessings have been bestowed upon me. I have a beautiful S12, wonderful family, the most amazing friends, a lovely home, a fantastic career, my health is back to normal....I could go on. And hey writing all this brought a huge smile to my face.   

Very wise words and so important reminder. Being happy, LBS or not, this is what we need actively see in our lives, not only look but see too, what we have been given regardless of what we lost in MLC.
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2019, 04:09:51 AM »


Click those heels!
Me - 55
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 8
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer has filed for D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline KeepItTogetherTopic starter

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2019, 11:59:50 AM »
LOL UM--I love it!  Thank you all for following along.

I have a few trips planned this year for just me. So I decided I needed to do one for S12. So I just booked a Disneyland trip for next weekend with just S12 and me. I have a wonderful friend who lives near there too (who happens to be a fellow LBS) with a D so we will get to spend time with them too. So excited! More blessings!


Quick story of MLCer. I happened to see some pics from a Superbowl party H was at. Mutual friend was tagged. I was surprised to see H frankly. It was a "political" gathering hosted by a group that supports many local politicians. Not a group H would ever hang with otherwise. He looked like his usual self. Vacant eyes, distant smile. Not happy go lucky. But....well....I also saw a few of OW. None were of them together. Which at this point I am not sure it would phase me. But, and this is going to sound super shallow, OW is HUGE. Huge. Like even bigger than before. She's about 5'2" and probably about a size 16? And not attractive at all. And an insane amount of makeup. This is gonna sound even worse, but basically in the looks department, there is just no comparison. I'm literally  less than half her size and much taller. I know it has nothing to do with appearance, but since I was BD'd at a time when I was bald, scarred and no eyelashes or brows to speak of, my self-esteem took a major hit. And I know it wouldn't matter if I too were a size 16l. Guess it just gave me a little comic relief. This is exactly the type of woman H would have scoffed at not too long ago. And of course, I know she isn't exactly rocking any "inner beauty" either. Just broken-ness.


And the Monday after SuperBowl Sunday, when H came to get S, he commented on how much he liked my dress and how good I looked in it. Like about 3 different times. I mean, it was just  a red Diane von Furstenburg and black stilettos. What's the big deal?  ::) So my superficial self esteem is doing much better. LOL. Not that I need that kind of validation per se. But it's nice to hear.


As for me, I've been leaving H alone. Not responding when he does something bad--like short me AGAIN on the check. I resolved that the next am by sweetly asking if he was still short cash. He said he still needed his reimbursement and would get it asap. I know he didn't have it at the time, so why get angry? I don't care if he spent it all on OW. I can afford S12 on my own. H's contribution helps in the college savings aspect. But I realized my anger over him not giving me the correct amount in the past was more to do with me assuming it was because of some extravagant gift or trip with OW.  Anyway, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. And getting angry did not serve me in any way.
Trying to grow. Yep.....slow learner!


Thanks all.
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline Milly

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2019, 02:08:25 PM »
Kit, enjoyed your post all around! Firstly, I totally get that you would feel some satisfaction at seeing that OW is not a bombshell, actually quite the opposite! It helps me, too, so thanks for sharing!

We all lost our self esteem when we were cheated on. That's what infidelity does, and that's one of the reasons it's so unacceptable. Being dumped would be horrific enough, being dumped for someone else, is really hard to ever get over. It destroys our chance of ever feeling good enough to be wanted by anyone. They might as well have murdered us.

Anyway, I'm glad you got a little bit of pleasure. Your Von Furstenberg dress sounds gorgeous! Your trip to Disneyland with S12 sounds so cozy and such fun. I've been there a couple of times and I remember it feeling like such a treat. How did your S react when you told him? Hope you're staying in a princess hotel!

It's wonderful that your career is good enough that you can support yourself and S. This way you really don't need to make a big deal about the small stuff. I agree that honey is so much better than vinegar, although the two together make a great pork roast!

You have the added bonus that your H does tell you sweet things now and again. I do believe that helps although I imagine it's very frustrating, especially when he can't just get rid of that fat bailiff.

Anyway, you are gorgeous, smart, funny, and I'm so glad to know you!
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Offline Maleficent

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #17 on: February 09, 2019, 03:25:27 PM »
Kit,
Following your story.  Love the wine colored slippers and the look of the red DVF with black stilettos. And the fact that your inlaws care, appreciate and support you.   Enjoy Disney.  Maleficent. 

Online strawberry

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #18 on: February 09, 2019, 03:37:31 PM »
It’s hard to be sad at Disney.  I’ve tried it a few times 😊. My family is all from Anaheim so Disney has always been a big part of my life. I leave for WDW in a week and a half for my next half marathon.  I’ve lost my excitement already because I know the running is going to be miserable given how little training I’ve been doing because of life and weather.  But I know when I get there, it will be awesome, even if I’m spending the whole week by myself.  There is just something wonderful about Disney Magic.
H: 43
M: 44

M: 15 years, T: 17 years, Friends: 22 years
No kids
2 dogs, 2 cats

Online Sam I Am

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Re: Fancy New Slippers
« Reply #19 on: February 09, 2019, 08:03:16 PM »
attaching
2019 - 365 New Opportunities  Bring It On!

I choose to feel blessed - I choose to feel grateful
I choose to be excited - I choose to be thankful
I CHOOSE to be HAPPY

BD 10 29 2017  Moved out to OW/A began in  7.17
3/5/18 OW moved/H moved in with F
3/19/18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW in another State
9.4.18  Moved back...Living with Parents OW Out of State 
11.1.18  Moved in with sister  Part of H's belonging are boxed on parents side porch
Dec 18 - OW may be living locally but H not fully living with her
Jan 2019 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings

Started Dating - Spring 1983
Married - August 1985
D29 - 2 children living locally
D -29 Married with 2 children
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School
3 Dogs

 

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