[sparklestar]

Ha ha Shining star - yes was very satisfying to hear that. Also pretty funny to hear how his excuse was ‘his friends set it up as a joke’ and she not only believed him but put it all over her social media that she found it funny too. I mean talk about desperate.... Anyway doesn’t seem to have done them any damage he’s still with her though I think it’s fair to say that if you’re on Tinder you aren’t happy at home...

[nah]

I strongly feel that they stay vanished is simple.

They can’t face us because that would mean facing themselves and their own demons. Wasn’t that the exact reason they ran in the first place?

[Anjae]

Mr J is a vanisher because I cut contact with him. If it was up to him he would still contact I don't know how many times a day, while living with someone else, leading his MLC life and not paying what he has to pay me.

My peace of mind, have space and quietness are more important than contact with a man that is still totally where the buses don't run.

[Shelly7435]

My MLC.. chose to with hold my monthly payment... until I contacted him.. his response.. I have been meaning to talk to you about this... my thought... how by smoke signal,. He is a big A$$ chicken... he waited till I contacted him.. i think he feels guilty and ashamed..and he can’t handle what he did... or he thinks I’m going to be mean.. why what’s the point.. no one could be as mean and cruel as he was. I agree with nah.  He and all the other Vanisher can’t face it!!!

[stillbaffled]

They can’t face us because that would mean facing themselves and their own demons. Wasn’t that the exact reason they ran in the first place?

Yup - that would describe my MLCer. 

[Milly]

I guess that would be my MLCer too.

[CallingHeart]

Hello clannishers
I'm still in this awesome gang.  Crickets from my Vanisher
BD Aug 2015
Only one face to face
Literally only 6 emails from him in almost 4 years: 
* 4 all business after BD,
* 1 to announce he filed for his D and
* 1 for "his sincere condolences after my father died"
So, it's interesting to think he cant face me.  My MIL contacts me regularly and always wants me to come visit her. I finally went to see her in Feb 2019 and, lo and behold ,there over the fireplace mantle sits a huge family picture starring ME still.   She also has a framed picture of me, close up and solo in my wedding veil, on her dresser near her TV in her bedroom, and a few framed pictures on her wall starring me, our dog and hwow.

Apparently he visits her often, so I guess I'm still "hanging around". 
Other than that... Crickets from hwow

[Snowdrop]

Almost 7 yrs since BD and no communication in years or support in any way from H.....oh except him randomly calling on Father's Day to leave a message - done that a couple of times.  WTF!

Spent the day with my stomach in a knot.  Got a text from S17 to say that OW had attempted to ask him to add her on instagram

Just the mention made my stomach churn  and I have spent most of the day that way.  I bet it has to do with the fact that S is nearing 18, which to H and OW I would imagine is the lucky number for them to attack re finances and our home in which we still live.

The nerve of her.  H abandoned his family and had no contact for years or paid a dime towards anything and here she is trying to make contact.

I've always said that they would do this, and especially when the kids got older, so no more parenting younger children needed, and H and OW can "welcome" them into their adult world, luring them in before they attack me.

Still the same woman, and been together now for 6 years I think.....must be love

I am glad that he is a vanisher and it hurts that he has reared his ugly head via her, or in any fashion whatsoever.

I know I shouldn't worry, but I can't help feeling this is the start of them inching their way into our lives so they can get the paycheck that have patiently waited for once the kids reach adulthood.  I need to shake those thoughts and think positive!

Him not paying child support I guess is in my favour in court but I cannot afford a lawyer and courts go by the book and pretty much who owns what.  A friend of mine went through the same and ended up with nothing.

Ugh, hate this.  I know in a day or so I will be fine.  Felt similar when H and OW sent a New Year card to kids with their photos on and handwritten notes....D didn't even open it, threw it out.

They are disgusting.  Feelings aside, who does this?  Ignores a child for years then just before they turn 18, approach to be "friends" on social media.

I know, we all know....our spouses and their OP.  Disgusting!

For 7 years I have protected the kids and paid for all, and been mom, dad, everyone.

For them to contact S and initiate any kind of contact makes me sick for many reasons.  S has no interest and said he's glad he has it all private.

Up to him eventually but hope for now they go away and leave us alone.  Of course this comes after a stressful few months and this week when I'm not feeling that great.  Want to sit and cry.  Nasty people.

Thanks for listening and hugs to all.

[Treasur]

Snowdrop...as you might know I recently got a text from ow so I know that feeling of 'yuk' all too well. See it as the bit of game playing it is but don't let them win by setting off worries in your head. Your S is clear where he stands and won't be encouraging it. Sufficient unto the day et al....if new legal stuff comes up, as you say the facts are on your side and you will find a way to do what you need to do if/when you have to. After all, look at everything you dealt with in the past that you thought you couldn't? Same thing. Honour the yuk feeling....treat it like black mould with a dose of bleach and sunshine 

[Rising Phoenix]

I know how you feel snowdrop. I do get child support but only because I went through child maintenance service. Couple of yrs behind you at 4.5yrs. No contact at all. I did send an update re kids 2 wks ago and I will send one every couple of months but son is in the process of changing his surname to my maidename. D14 will once she is 16. His loss and kids feel that he never lived them and sometimes I think, no h didn’t.
Carry on as you are. The kids know who was there for them. Certainly wasn’t h and ow! Xx