Author Topic: My Story BURNING MAN 4  (Read 2112 times)

Offline WatcherTopic starter

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My Story BURNING MAN 4
« on: March 01, 2019, 05:31:17 AM »
March is here. Luckily it wasn't a leap year. So what's it going to be. In like a lion out like a lamb. In like a lamb out like a lion. Sort of like this thread. Will Watcher go full blown MLC or will he return to his respectable LBS status. (Cue Michael Buffer) "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" !!!  Start of month #45.

I did not get the marathon invite however my co worker did. I was very happy for her and it's nice to see that the lottery system does work since she got in. So I still have 1 more opportunity through work but I have to wait until July to go that route. If not, it's no big deal. I only have 1 marathon in me and as of today I'm still not ready. She, however, is in a panic now. I'm not looking for just any marathon.

So I spent yesterday researching half marathons. I'm trying to combine history and nature in my runs. So I signed up for Crazy Horse, South Dakota in October. It is a stunning course. I'm a little concerned about brown bears. I hope they keep them clear of the course. It's run right on the Black Hills which is just beautiful. Mt Rushmore is there, Custer's poor decision making stand, and the race finishes at the Crazy Horse Memorial.

In New Jersey we only have black bears but they just attack garbage cans. We trained them well.

I'm looking at Jackson Hole, Wyoming because I want to push my luck with the bears. Another breathtaking location. I looked on a lot of lists and Missoula, Montana is on the top ten of every list. I've never been to that area of the country so I'm kind of fixated. Fargo, North Dakota is also a bucket list race. Who knew ?

I can't get to it yet but Big Sur near Monterey, CA is going to happen at some point. That is just beautiful. Gorgeous California  ;D. Apparently anything in Utah is a must. Yellowstone has a race but it's every 2 years and 2019 is an off year. Grand Canyon is another race destination but I can't do it this year. My favorite Long Beach, CA pops up a lot.

IDK how I'm going to do with altitude running but I will find out.

So I just turned 47 on Tuesday and I'm going a bit slow. I'm trying to feel things out and adjust. It's a big adjustment from 46 so I don't want to push myself into crisis by taking this new age too fast. Baby steps into 47. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. Tick, tick, tick.... LOL....

OK, so I will conclude by sharing with the group. So if you recall W doesn't talk to me but she started talking to me in "FB talk" last December. Basically quoting my text messages back to me with a FB liked. So there is a Bday message for me FB style.

They are not necessarily her words but she is telling me the type of man I am based on the day I was born using the computer to talk for her.

So this is Watcher.
-he is a loyal friend.
-he is very compassionate.
-he is a fighter.
-he doesn't give up without a fight.
-he does not like fake people.
Ok, with the added red heart emoji.

I have no comment. I'm just journaling that one.

So I'm going to continue my journey and hopefully the forum can help me stave off my pending mid life crisis. IDK. I didn't get any sleep last night, I had 2 sluggish gym sessions, I haven't done any mirror work. OMG it already has started. Hahahaha. I need some Lee Brice "Rumor" in my life.  ;D

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."  ;)

Previous thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10643.0







« Last Edit: March 07, 2019, 08:18:53 AM by Thunder »

Online Treasur

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2019, 05:39:21 AM »
Bonkers by your wife of course, but to be fair, does sound a bit like you lol.
What are your (sane) plans for your birthday?
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Whyus

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2019, 05:39:38 AM »
Welcome to your new Thread watcher  :)

So this is Watcher.
-he is a loyal friend.
-he is very compassionate.
-he is a fighter.
-he doesn't give up without a fight.
-he does not like fake people.
Ok, with the added red heart emoji.

I have no comment. I'm just journaling that one.
Oh my firetrucking god, shes coming for you again and wants to go another round, I guess nobody saw that coming. A Little sooner than expected maybe though ;D

Watcher, you HAVE to check These guys out, they are coming to a venue near you. Awesome band and great live "Too Rock for Country and too Country for Rock".

https://www.blackberrysmoke.com/news/https-www-blackberrysmoke-com-tour


Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is trying to get People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 20
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2019, 06:01:14 AM »
Hello,

Decided to respond before I hit the gym. The other day I was rambling so much on my thread that by the time I noticed, you were taking some severe hits on your thread. Then it was locked LOL.

Quote
My favorite Long Beach, CA pops up a lot.

Nice race. I live in Anaheim. You should come out to Cali.

Quote
Will Watcher go full blown MLC or will he return to his respectable LBS status?

No, I don't think you will do either. I am going to try and bridge the gap. First of all, MLCer don't have plans. They don't think about bills and debt. They just do. Crap just happens. I didn't mean to fall in love with Om, it just happened.

Your actions and decisions have been deliberate and intentional. Big difference.

I understand the uproar when you wrote that you don't care in regards to your sons. However, I took it to mean, I don't care about a situation of which I have no control.
You could go easily back today. Put everything back in place and by next month be handcuffed and spending the night in either jail or the hospital. In your current role, you are the enabler. It's your job to fix everything around you and be a good Watcher.

Not anymore, and I commend you for that. You need to focus on rebuilding yourself from the ground up and following the plan that you outlined for yourself.

The only mental battle you are contemplating is if you want to move ahead as a married man, or do you want to end the marriage. That is your choice and I will offer no advice or opinion.

It took me a while,but I stopped being the doormat-for everyone. There is a big change when you start to live fear free. I mean truly fear free.

After the situation with your sons hits bottom, and they are ready for change-not to be saved, but change, you will be in the right mindset to positively influence them. Not fix them or bail them out. That is how you will flip the switch and see the outcomes that you seek.

Keep working on you and enjoy seeing that your work is paying off.

Fist bump and Happy Birthday-

Ready

 

"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2019, 06:03:44 AM »
Happy Birthday, Watcher!   ;D

Sounds like you have some awesome races coming up.  A lot of beautiful trails to run. I always thought Colorado would be a great place to camp and hike.  They may have races there too.

You are right this winter came I like a lamb but sure is going out like a lion.  My goodness, the snow just doesn't want to give up.  Another inch or 2 today, which is sure getting old.
Good thing is the temps are getting warmer.

Have a good day, Watcher.  :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline WatcherTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2019, 07:59:01 AM »
Hi Treasur, Whyus, Ready, Thunder.

The Dierks Bentley concert next week is my bday gift Treasur. Oh my goodness I've been studying Long Beach on Google maps reliving my time there in 2015. Oh my goodness the California pull is very strong. LOL.... I don't think I can resist it. The force is strong with California.

I walked that course and walked that beach everyday 5 months post BD just a mess of a man lost in life. I am soooooo going to have this hammered out by the end of the weekend. That course and area is just beautiful. That's where Dexter was filmed.  ::)

I already found a half marathon. Apparently they run half marathons like every week in Long Beach. So I have to figure it out. So many venues. OMG it's California versus Wyoming. What will I do ? Hahahaha. Maybe I should just move to Long Beach to make life easier.  ::)

Enjoy your day everyone
Thank you


Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2019, 08:23:07 AM »
There ya go!   ;D

Move to some beautiful place.  You have nothing stopping you, Watcher.  You can do what every you want with your life.  Live where ever you want.  For all intensive purposes, you're a young, single man.
Even though legally married, the marriage is dead in the water, so why let that stop you?   :)

I'm about ready myself.  ha ha
I have family in AZ.  No snow there, no cold there.
Only thing that is stopping me are my grand kids.  Drat!

CA sounds lovely but I hear it's pretty expensive to live there.  Florida has way too much humidity for me, plus big bugs.

Not sure where I'd go for sure if I had a choice.  There are a lot of beautiful, warm states along the ocean.
The world is your oyster, Watcher!   :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Anjae

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2019, 09:25:14 AM »
Happy birthday, Watcher.

You may be a young, single man, but you have an underaged son, Watcher. Don't think someone with an underaged child can do as they please.

I know the boys don't live with you, but I also see several MLC behaviours in your behaviour. If you are having a MLC or a bumpy midlife transition, I don't know.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2019, 09:52:53 AM »
I respectfully disagree, Anjae.

I see no indication that Watcher is going through a MLC or a MLT. 
He is trying to GAL for himself.  When you have been abused for years, it's important he is finally breaking free of that abuse and doing what he can to survive.  He has to save himself first or he is in no position to save anyone else.  The whole "oxygen mask" thing.

Because of that abuse, and his job warning him, he can not go to that house, or contact his son.
Those two women will do anything to destroy him, even lie get him fired.

His sons both have his number if they need him and were told that by Watcher.  He can't force them to call, or contact him.  Not even the youngest, who btw is not on any danger.  They may be controlling but they do not abuse the boys.  Watcher has said he is not worried about them at this point.
Kids that age are pretty savvy.  They could call him and very easily cover it up.  They choose not to.

It could very well be those boys know more than we know.  Those two women tear their father apart all the time and maybe even have a plot against him, waiting for Watcher to make one wrong move.
It's possible the boys hear this and don't want to get their father arrested.

Sorry Watcher, I don't mean to talk like you are not here, I just think this is so much more complicated then people understand.  It's not like you can just contact the boys, like in a normal situation.  This is very far from a normal situation.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Anjae

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2019, 10:19:15 AM »
Thunder, I have a MLCer who tried to kill me. I also had a MLC. Abuse does not exclude having a MLC.

Everyone has a midlife transition. Some have it bumpier, others easier.

Sure, the boys have the phone number, but if Watcher moves to CA, that is quite far away, isn't it? Same if he moves  to another state or far away in the state.

The boys may know more than we do, but if you were one of them, or both, how would you feel if your dad gave up on you and moved to the other side of the country?

I am sorry, but a person with underage childen is not a single, free, do as you please person, regardless of situation. There cannot be a measure for MLCers and another for LBSs.

I understand things are complicated. It does not change the fact one of the boys is underaged. It also does not change the fact many of Watcher's behaviour are similar to a MLCer's one. The crazy gym and races, the not caring about the boys, too much relevance on physical appearance, his or women, etc. If a MLCer was doing it, we would say it was normal MLC stuff.

Is Watcher the only LBS who is free to have a MLC? I don't think so.

This is part of Ursa's signature: "A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice. " I agree with it. That is, if I see tons of red flags, I say so. I and do see too many on Watcher's situation.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2019, 10:22:14 AM by Anjae »
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

 

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