Author Topic: My Story BURNING MAN 4  (Read 2111 times)

Online BrenM

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My Story Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #20 on: March 01, 2019, 04:24:38 PM »

Parents don’t get to decide when they don’t want to parent anymore...being a parent is a lifelong contract...a very rewarding one when you parent well!

I agree. Most rewarding!! And please know that I was referring to my OWN arrogance/projection/judgment, and would never call out any other poster. I am no one to judge anyone. 

Absolutely no offense taken at all KIT and I know that you weren’t directing that comment towards me or anyone else  However I did take time to reflect and ponder upon my own comments that I have made as a result of your comment...I hope that makes sense? A thinking moment for me lol.  I just felt the need to clarify where my comments and perspectives are instigated from...purely from the perspective of the child (and yes I do consider S18 as a child even though he is legally classed as an adult).
« Last Edit: March 01, 2019, 04:33:22 PM by BrenM »
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
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Offline Anjae

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #21 on: March 01, 2019, 04:27:04 PM »
Parents don’t get to decide when they don’t want to parent anymore...being a parent is a lifelong contract...

Agree.

The boys issue is something I don't understand in the sense of how could someone think it is a good idea to give up on them because they don't live with you and there is a very complicated situation.

Bren and I disagree on lots of things, but not on this one.

I don't have children of my own, but I have nephews, a niece and second cousins. There is no way I would give up on them and they aren't even mine.

I am afraid nor Thunder nor anyone would be able to prevent you from going out of control if you happen to be in a crisis. Just like none of us was able to prevent our spouses going out of control.

There is no shame in being in a crisis. It happens to many LBS. Like LBS who have a crisis, or a rough period, while on HS, you have the advantage of having tons of support and people to hang to.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline karmirtsaghik

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #22 on: March 01, 2019, 06:24:46 PM »
I am with BrenM considering the issue of children and abandonment.  My MLCH is a poster child for that. I understand that house is no-go zone for Watcher. But he can go and see his kids in school. What his W. is going to do call school security and ask to remove him form school premises. I would have gone to school during the recesses as often as I could to see my kids. And maybe that would have been the best environment for visitation as wife and MIL would not have been around. Watcher also can call one of the parents if his kids friends, explain the situation and see them on neutral territory when the kids are visiting their friends.

If someone (be it my spouse, relative, family member) anybody would have told me that I told to the abusive person you want my kids you got them, that someone would have been very sorry. Thunder suggested that Watcher's kids are not abused. But we know that at least MIL is abusing his 15 year old (calling him fat, prohibiting him from playing in school sports, and denying access to school bus).  We also know that MIL is calling their mother a wh*r^ and there is a lot of yelling and physical fights going on in that house. Isn't that an abuse? We also know that all their communications with Watcher are under strict scrutiny to the point when his wife is posting for his son 15. So no even if they want to, they cannot freely talk to Watcher.  And this is what we know based on what Watcher shared with us publicly.

I presume that we do not know enough, but what we know again does depict a picture of these kids being in healthy abuse-free environment. Yes they are almost grown and therefore legally it would be difficult to enforce visitations, but seeing them at school at least once a week is not a big problem.

From what I can tell of Watcher's writings both him and his wife cannot wait for these kids to grow up so that they can start living their lives for themselves, either together or apart. There is nothing wrong is wanting to live a life. Believe me, I also want to live my life on my terms, but my kids always come first and foremost. They will always do.

Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #23 on: March 01, 2019, 06:43:15 PM »
Anjae, I just have one question.  What would you have Watcher do?
No one answers that question.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline TryinSoul

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #24 on: March 01, 2019, 06:49:05 PM »
Watcher

I have lived in Wyoming for 30 years and still haven’t seen a bear.  I think it’s luck, good or bad, I am not sure.  I live at 5500’ and when I go to sea level, I feel like Superman.  It will likely feel like someone is vacuuming the air from your lungs.  You will live and the views will be worth it. 

Tryin
All that counts, is what comes next.

Online BrenM

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #25 on: March 01, 2019, 07:03:21 PM »
 karmirtsaghik totally agree with your contact suggestions for initial reconnection!  Watcher has caught up with his Sons while they were out walking the dog previously...it would appear that this no longer occurs or maybe it is just that Watcher doesn’t journal about this?   Where there is a will, there is always a way!  I know no-one or nothing would keep me from having contact with my kids - irrespective of the circumstances.  Of course the house is out of bounds - everyone gets that! Once he establishes contact again, I am sure the 3 of them will be able to concoct ways without W and MIL interfering or being able read any correspondence - Snapchat chat is a classic example....though I am pretty sure the boys will have more ideas.  Teenagers are experts at hiding things from their parents and teachers as we all know!
« Last Edit: March 01, 2019, 07:04:45 PM by BrenM »
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

Offline WatcherTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #26 on: March 01, 2019, 07:18:10 PM »
Hi TryinSoul,

LOL I was just throwing that bear thing out there as I just assumed they would live in Wyoming. This run is in June. It starts at Teton Village and finishes in Jackson. It starts at 6300 and declines to 6000 before slowly working it's way back up to 6300. The pictures that I have seen of the mountain range, I believe Teton are just stunning. Maybe I have to worry about wolves then, lol.

Everything should be in full bloom in June so it should be just stunning. Well their catchy slogan is if the altitude doesn't get you the views will.  :) I love nature. I've never been to Wyoming. Crazy Horse, South Dakota is October and Monterey, California is November so I can pull it off.

I plan on going slow and enjoying the scenery and taking it all in. Jackson Hole looks like a A+. All 3 venues are in the top 50 for half marathons. Missoula, Montana can wait til next year.

Thanks

Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #27 on: March 01, 2019, 07:32:30 PM »
You'll LOVE South Dakota!

I've been there twice and want to go back.  The Black Hills are awesome.

You have some great trips planned, Watcher.   :)  Bring your camera.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline WatcherTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #28 on: March 01, 2019, 08:15:16 PM »
LOL Terrified,

You brought up Harley at the wrong time. I've never ridden a motorcycle myself. I like Harleys and Indian. I know nothing about bikes but I like those 2 brands obviously for their history.

Is it easy to learn how to ride a bike. It's not on my immediate to do list but they do look really cool. Definitely an interest for me down the road. They really are like art pieces. At least those 2 brands.

Thunder,

That one is just as awesome. I'm looking forward to that one. That is total downhill. It starts at roughly 5900 and finishes at 4900 elevation. I'm a sucker for mountains and open country I guess.

Of course I'm bringing my camera. All 3 venues that I picked are just breathtaking.

Thanks

Offline Anjae

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Re: BURNING MAN 4
« Reply #29 on: March 02, 2019, 12:32:50 AM »
I have answered that question, not to give up on the boys. Be there for them even if, right now, things are the way they are.

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

 

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