Author Topic: My Story And the drama carries on....  (Read 3299 times)

Offline megogirlTopic starter

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My Story And the drama carries on....
« on: March 01, 2019, 07:23:31 PM »
Mods, please link this

Thanx in advance xxx


Previous thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10667.0
« Last Edit: March 01, 2019, 07:37:12 PM by Thunder »

Offline Milly

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2019, 03:03:43 AM »
Joining your new thread, Mego. Regarding your H crying at your S's show, I get emotional this way when I see one of my kids doing something that makes me proud. You say your H did not cry in the past at your S's shows, well maybe he was feeling vulnerable this time. Maybe he's not as happy as he appears and when he saw your S perform so well, the emotions overwhelmed him and he broke down.

As for his comment about your S's talent coming from you, that is lovely. Perhaps that day he had an opening in the fog that allowed him to remember your positive attributes and had him missing his S. This is good.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Offline Rising Phoenix

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2019, 03:22:08 AM »
Coming along mego xx
Me 50
H51
Married 20yrs
Together 29yr
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang fir 3 yrs now Vanisher other twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

Offline GonerinGhana

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2019, 04:47:55 AM »
Mego-I have a question. What makes you think your H is having an MLC? Until now, you have not posted anything that points toward that. Yes, he had an affair. But beyond that you have described absolutely nothing that would make me think he is specifically having an MLC and not an exit affair. He keeps in touch with your son twice a day with phone calls. He drives a long distance to watch his shows. This suggests his relationship with your son remains as solid as it can be in spite of the distance.

Moreover, I do not see any behavior you have attributed to your ILs that suggests they are narcissistic. Proud, doting grandparents. But if they are proud and bragging about their grandson, then they AREN'T narcissistic, because in that case they would be bragging about themselves. Just because they talk about driving from Upstate NY, doesn't make them narcissistic. They may be just trying to make smalltalk with others. It's not like they flew in on their private jet from Paris and bragged about that.

You send him nasty text messages and make angry comments and he zips his lips in response. He does not take your bait.

I don't think this is what any of us have experienced with an MLCer.

Can you give us any examples of MLC-like behavior? Because until now I am not seeing any besides the fact he had an affair and left.

Offline megogirlTopic starter

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2019, 07:05:59 AM »
I am 150% certain that XH is in MLC.

I have posted about receiving phone calls from the "Prisoner" personality, on several occasions.  I witnessed the incident that ignited his whole MLC.  Hell, I even WATCHED him go into it!  A real, true physical transformation that I have even demonstrated for S15.  It freaked me out as I had no idea what was happening to him (Brain aneyrism?).  I wish I had videotaped it, but I was too afraid of "interrupting."

RE: My XIL's, please google Narcissistic families.  It is a whole dysfunctional dynamic that I've only learned about since all of this happened.

I am as sure it's MLC as the sky is blue.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2019, 08:27:57 AM by megogirl »

Offline megogirlTopic starter

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2019, 07:22:34 AM »
As for his comment about your S's talent coming from you, that is lovely. Perhaps that day he had an opening in the fog that allowed him to remember your positive attributes and had him missing his S. This is good

Thanx, Milly....

Yeah, it was kind of a "moment."  He said something similar after S15 played Shrek last year, but back then I was in my car and he was standing outside, so less of an "intimate" conversation.  Plus, he didn't cry then, either. 

Last night marked the first real convo I've had with him since the D went final, and actually, the first real convo I've had with him since BD.  Everything else had either been a bickering spat, and/or begging & pleading.   And for one brief shining moment, I was talking to the "real" person - not an MLC personality.

It was kind of out of a movie.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2019, 07:42:30 AM by megogirl »

Offline Thunder

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2019, 08:44:03 AM »
Mego,

What did you mean by a real, true physical transformation before your eyes?

I saw my H change into a stranger but it was over time.  I saw no physical transformation right away.
I saw him change his looks over time, like cutting all his gray hair off, working out to get in shape (or look younger) and wearing teenager clothes.  Then he did look physically different.  But he made himself look different.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline barbiedoll

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2019, 08:59:13 AM »
Quote
I saw no physical transformation right away.
.

I am curious as well about this . I did not see any immediate changes . I did see a very different look in his eyes, but nothing else .
Married April 1985
5 children
Bomb Drop April 2013
Thrown out of house August 2013
Affair discovered November 2013 (i guessed who)
Home December 3 2013
The Journey Of Reconciliation .. is for the brave .

Anger is like a candle in the wind ... it blows out the light of all reason.

Offline Acorn

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2019, 09:09:28 AM »
Quote
I saw no physical transformation right away.
.

I am curious as well about this . I did not see any immediate changes . I did see a very different look in his eyes, but nothing else .

I am curious as well.  I saw the same as Thunder and Barbie had. 
« Last Edit: March 02, 2019, 09:10:36 AM by Acorn »
Feb 2015: BD 1. H has a Nuclear meltdown.  The next morning arctic cold descends.
Oct 2015: BD 2,  ILYBIANILWY. “We should not have gotten married.”
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Never left home
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: And the drama carries on....
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2019, 09:13:35 AM »
What makes you think your H is having an MLC? Until now, you have not posted anything that points toward that. Yes, he had an affair.

I beg to differ here, but what difference does it make? Our purpose is not to diagnose others, but to provide support and encouragement.

After all, my advice to Mego would still be the exact same, let go of the rope, start doing things that help you and your son, and start living a life as if they are not ever coming back.

He keeps in touch with your son twice a day with phone calls. He drives a long distance to watch his shows. This suggests his relationship with your son remains as solid as it can be in spite of the distance.

I don't get this perspective. The man abandoned his son to go shack up with his honey. It's not like he is in the military or had to leave the area for employment. Two phone calls a day doesn't make a father. I've never met the man, don't know what is said on the calls, or see any of the body language. Truly, does he call his son out of love and concern, or does he do it to alleviate his guilt? I don't know, I am not a mind reader.

Quote
You send him nasty text messages and make angry comments and he zips his lips in response. He does not take your bait.

Monster does not always appear in MLC. I do agree that the angry text messages and comments do no good. It would be much better to come on the forum to vent your anger and frustration.

I posted often the desire to stone OM. Hit in the head with a one to three pound stone. Wanted to fly over England in a jet and try to hit him with blue ice after hitting flush. Thought about kidnapping both he and my ex and leaving them in Saudi Arabia with signs around both their necks "We are adulterers". Even searched online about voodoo curses as well. In fact, if anything ever happens bad to my ex or OM, my site postings and computer searches would lead to my immediate arrest.

However, to my ex, I was always detached. Even post marriage, I am fair. Paid every cent of child support and alimony on time. Did all the court documents to separate or assets per the agreement. Her disabled parking tag mailed to my house, mailed it to her immediately. Why? Because I was not going to let her bad behavior define mine.

I got a life. I pulled myself off the mat and from the brink of bankruptcy. That was six years ago. In fact, today is the anniversary of my SIL's death. I was heartbroken and defeated. Just reflected on that-sorry for the break in continuity.

We want Mego to do the same. I want her to post of the things she is doing for herself. I don't care if it's getting her nails done. Just starting to live again-for herself.

In my opinion, that is the why we post,

((((Ready))))


"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

 

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