Author Topic: My Story MLC Wife  (Read 975 times)

Offline gman242

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My Story Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #20 on: March 13, 2019, 08:22:31 AM »
Just saying hello and welcome! As they say here this is the club that no one wants to join.. but since here you're here, you've already seen it's an awesome place to be. Many cool people around here! and if it had to happen, there'd be no where better to be.

Online lovemywifeTopic starter

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #21 on: March 13, 2019, 08:32:09 AM »
thx gman!

One other thing I wanted to share with you guys.....not sure if it meant anything.  But I had access to W's phone always, but that stopped when we got new phones, she still has access to mine.  But what was interesting was one day, few months ago where I was secretive with my phone (I chatted to the person she flirted with as at that point we became friends)......and I discussed W's issues as this guy said he went through something similar 9 years ago and he came to realize the grass was NOT greener and reconciled with his wife.  Point being, W wanted my phone to send pictures I took to her......I left the chat open as I was driving and did not want to give my phone to her......that got her very suspicious....to the point when we got home she said she is going for a drive.  She messaged me and said it feels like I am hiding something from her  :o :o I thought that was kinda ironic!  Anyway, she was clearly not okay with me doing that. 

Online lovemywifeTopic starter

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2019, 12:14:09 PM »
Guys

Can you assist me with this - so W asked me tonight if I will be reading both books recommended by the therapist she went to see yesterday. The one book is of the marriage counselor we are likely going to see which is called "The truth about relationships" and the second is "Conscious Uncoupling".  Now, the first book is something I could get onboard with, I feel it is pretty standard stuff that one should be doing, and I think I have been doing most of it anyway, but she hasn't.  The second one, well, that is something I am not interested in - I read the first few pages and it is about basically splitting up in a good way.

So, should I read the second book as well even though that is not something I want to do at all?

Then also, I tend to look alot after the kids, I put them in bed, I make breakfast for them (she does once in a while) and so on - should I move away from doing all of this and give her a chance to do it? I am not sure I should as I do not want to penalize the kids....
« Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 12:35:32 PM by lovemywife »

Offline megogirl

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #23 on: March 13, 2019, 12:58:08 PM »
The second one, well, that is something I am not interested in - I read the first few pages and it is about basically splitting up in a good way.

Maybe this is just me because I'm admittedly "old-school", but I find everything about this to be BS.  Divorce hurts children.  Cut, and dry. 

There is no "splitting up in a good way!"  That is just a load of crap, written by all those who also enjoy terms such as "Modern Family."  Makes me physically ill!

Hey, Gwyneth?  Your kids hated your so-called "conscious uncoupling", and are permanently scarred by your DIVORCE.

Online lovemywifeTopic starter

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #24 on: March 13, 2019, 01:19:07 PM »
hahaha, thx, that made me laugh!  But I agree, in fact I said it to W last night.......I guess it is all ways to justify behavior and actions.  I just want to make sure I act in a correct way.

Offline PJ Ames

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #25 on: March 13, 2019, 08:48:44 PM »
Following along, lovemywife. Glad you found us, but I'm sorry you're here.

Reading your thread I see that you're already getting some great advice. I don't have much to add. But I will say that cycling is normal, both for the LBS and the MLCer. Your W may go through a pattern of coming close and acting normal, then drifting off to Monsterville or LaLa Land. You will probably also have some ups and downs. As you go through cycles, you'll get better at recognizing what is happening.

Post often and ask questions. You're among people who understand.

Take care.
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Married 1991
S: 24, D: 21 both doing great.

BD #1: June, 2016 - discovered EA with co-worker
BD #2: November 2018 - discovered online relationship with dude she met playing video games; she has never met him in person.
5-day separation (she left), November, 2018
W is trying (a little), but has no remorse. Nowhere near fully-cooked.

Online lovemywifeTopic starter

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #26 on: March 13, 2019, 11:51:23 PM »
Thanks all!  Thx for following along as well.  The advise is great.

This morning W got up and I could see she is thinking deeply, no idea what.  I really just want to hug her, but I am not sure how she would take it.  Previously she did not mind if I hug her, but I also want to detach as much as possible and not provide any distraction to take her away from working through her issues.  Will see what the day delivers, she does seem to be moving closer to me in bed (used to be on the one side), almost as if she wants me to hold her like the other night, but she is afraid to engage....... :-\ :-\

Online Silver

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #27 on: March 14, 2019, 12:21:54 AM »

Maybe this is just me because I'm admittedly "old-school", but I find everything about this to be BS.  Divorce hurts children.  Cut, and dry. 

There is no "splitting up in a good way!"  That is just a load of crap, written by all those who also enjoy terms such as "Modern Family."  Makes me physically ill!


Agree that divorce hurts children, always. Still it can be better option sometimes than really bad marriage.
I know this may be discussed enough already here but grey is a good color sometimes.
Opinions, just opinions here.
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Online lovemywifeTopic starter

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #28 on: March 14, 2019, 01:12:33 AM »
Hey Silver

I agree, but the thing is we don't really have a bad marriage - again, I don't walk around being mad at W or picking fights or issues.  She basically got all she asked, but she is still in moods/deep thinking/depression that then affects the vibe.  I would fully agree to this if the environment was hostile, and it only gets to that when there is an argument, which we have under control now it seems - it happens less and less as the things that I react to have become fewer.

My question though is whether I should read the book as well or not?

Online Silver

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Re: MLC Wife
« Reply #29 on: March 14, 2019, 01:23:37 AM »
Sorry lmw, didn't mean to refer to your marriage in any way, just speaking in general  :)

So, should I read the second book as well even though that is not something I want to do at all?

You answered to your own question imho.


"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

 

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