Author Topic: Discussion The Unapologetic  (Read 129 times)

Offline MortesbrideTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1707
  • Gender: Female
Discussion The Unapologetic
« on: March 15, 2019, 02:51:00 AM »
I came across this article today and found it very apt.

Wasn't sure where to put it so started a new thread.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201811/why-its-so-hard-some-people-admit-they-were-wrong

This tells us a lot about the crazy making lies of the MLCer. But I think it also tells us a lot about some of the things we see with everyday people.

Food for thought.  :)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Thunder

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 20605
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Unapologetic
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2019, 03:11:41 AM »
Good article, I'm sending this one to my sister.  Her H is never wrong and never apologizes for anything.

I laughed at this:
“Someone must have, because I checked, and there was milk,” as though some phantom broke into the house, finished the milk and left without a trace.  lol
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline UrsaMajor

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 7632
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone, you aren't a pizza
Re: The Unapologetic
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2019, 03:23:06 AM »
I was surprised NOT to see a couple of pictures of people I know/knew as poster children for this.... FIL(RIP) being one of them... and STBX IS her fathers Daughter...
Me - 55
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 8
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer has filed for D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline barbiedoll

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1954
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Unapologetic
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2019, 03:38:16 AM »
Interesting Morte, thanks for that. I remember totally believing without any doubt that me H would NEVER have the capability to return home and say he was wrong, he made a mistake and he was very sorry . I had ZERO faith that his ego or pride ( distorted) would allow him to turn around and try to fix what he broke. This belief did force me to take GAL more seriously because he would never be able to undo what he had done. He is a man that has a had time with being "wrong".

But,,,he did. It still feels "un-real". But he certainly did not do it easily . He ended up in an ambulance and days in hospital same day he returned . I could see that the pain he was experiencing outside of his home and marriage was greater than the pain of admitting he made a huge mistake.It is all "ego"related I suspect and maybe more so for men. I really have no difficulty being wrong ...I never feel all that invested in something, that I can't be wrong. I find it very fluent and easy to apologize and the sooner the better. MLC has lots of ego disruptions .

Many women have written that they do not believe their spouse has the capability to admit they were wrong and try to fix their marriage. But they could be completely wrong.  I was.  But he will struggle with "feeling" wrong because his childhood experience ALWAYS made him feel like he was "wrong" no matter what.
Married April 1985
5 children
Bomb Drop April 2013
Thrown out of house August 2013
Affair discovered November 2013 (i guessed who)
Home December 3 2013
The Journey Of Reconciliation .. is for the brave .

Anger is like a candle in the wind ... it blows out the light of all reason.

Offline sachat3

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 461
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Unapologetic
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2019, 07:15:23 AM »
That’s a very interesting article. I’ll probably find myself rereading it!

I think in my case H is hit and miss with admitting he’s wrong. In some cases he can and in others he’ll just move past it and act like it never happened so I can’t tell how this whole thing will affect him really. I guess time will tell. But as my mother always says

“Pride comes before a fall”
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk