Author Topic: My Story Silver  (Read 2394 times)

Offline SilverTopic starter

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My Story Silver
« on: March 18, 2019, 04:34:16 AM »
Well, this is about Silver. Not wanting to boost my ego here though  ;D

But what was in my mind is that I am at the point in my journey when focus is more and more in me instead of her and her crisis.
I love silver, it is much more important to me than gold. I love the color of it, it's simple and humble beauty. Silver medal is not for winner, it is for 2nd but that doesn't bother me at all as winner doesn't necessarily have to be the one standing higher and be most celebrated at time of ceremony but it may as well be the one that knows he tried his best and stayed true to himself instead of winning at any cost. Moon is silver, I love the moon. Wolf is silvery grey, a majestic animal which prefers to stay in the pack, is loyal, but survives alone in need.  I have mat silver cross hanging around my neck, my talisman. Two mat metal-silver rings in my fingers. My wedding ring was white cold and it was the one that had to go, these will remain because they are for me, for grown man I am and for little boy inside him. Silver is my color, silver lasts, gold doesn't, even silver colored cold.

Very quick recap:
Together 12 years, married 5. BD at April 2017, divorce at Jan 2018. D10 & S5, shared custody. XW engaged with OM, they started dating right after our D and got engaged couple of weeks ago. Difficult divorce, still issues with custody, going to mediation to get agreement about kids' schools etc. XW monstering periodically but most of the time we get along with kids' matters. We both have very good relationship with kids. I'm dating J, a woman I met 6 months ago, she is divorced too. I'm done yet support standing from my heart for all those decide to stand.

Silver is happy to be a part of your pack, brave LBS people.

Previous thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10470.0

Edit: language
« Last Edit: March 18, 2019, 06:51:32 AM by Silver »
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline Rosetintedglasses

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Re: Silver
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2019, 04:52:31 AM »
Hey Silver the Strong!

Welcome to your new thread all about you! Great idea.

Carrying on from your reply to my last comment was to say that only you know how special J is and you are right you wouldn’t let go of a diamond just because you found it when you didn’t expect to.

Hoping for a happy peaceful thread for you, you so deserve it
Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - 2016
BD2 - 2017
PA with MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2017 then EA
H left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9313.30

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Silver
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2019, 04:56:18 AM »
Quote
I'm done yet support standing from my heart for all those decide to stand.

Same here. I came back to the forum even though I was done because I wanted others to see that there are different outcomes. None are better or worse, just different.

I support those that stand because of the emphasis of self-improvement and self-care. Those that stand tend to also take care of the children when the MLCer flees. I really respect that.

Interesting that you like silver. I decorated by new (but it's old) home with silver and grey and then added colors throughout. I really like it. Silver is an amazing color and is is cool but not cold.

I am glad you have met somebody special and I wish the very best for you. I found my diamond as well and it is really nice to come home and feel excited and happy.

Fist bump,

Ready

"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

Offline SilverTopic starter

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Re: Silver
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2019, 07:04:49 AM »
Thanks Rose the Runner  :)

Thank you too rtfmsf (was that correct?  ;D)
Different outcomes indeed, not even sure if this all I went trough with her, all MLC stuff was necessarily that bad for me in the end. Painful as he*l but the result may be something good. I feel very bad for kids though, about having to face the divorce and seeing their family break down. I would never ever have wanted them to be in that situation, but who would.

An interesting note I have made recently is that I have missed some other things and people than HER that got lost in divorce, like her sister's family, which became important to me. I'm still a godfather to their D5 and they are still my friends, but the situation is what it is. They live far away and as her sister, XW always travels there with kids, not me. 

When saw her with engagement ring, it didn't hurt me near that much than I would have thought (tho it did as I posted before). It was more like day or two down and then like 'ok, she made up her mind and that's it'. I don't feel bad anymore about it, honestly. Perhaps will again but not atm. I miss more us as family than her as a person.

 
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline Whyus

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Re: Silver
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2019, 11:21:31 PM »
following along of Course Silver  :)

I think its rtfmf  ;D
Great opening to your thread mate.
Take it easy with J, you obviously like eachother so dont do something you may regret further down the line. Hold onto that Diamond mate, they are rare, precious and NOT easy to find.  8)

Forget the Engagement ring, Silver is Rockin!

Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: Silver
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2019, 02:12:27 AM »
Hi Silver,

Did I miss something?  Did J ask you to commit yourself more to her?

If not, just enjoy the relationship.  She sounds like the type of woman who is cool with things the way they are anyway.  Most women like some sort of commitment, it makes them feel safe.  Just tell her how much she means to you and she will probably relax a bit.  She just needs to know she's special and you don't want her to leave.  Telling her she can find someone else if hse wants, may make her feel like you don't care.

Hope this makes sense......
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline Whyus

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Re: Silver
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2019, 02:29:09 AM »
SF, i am not Silver but it makes perfect sence. Who doesnt want to feel safe? ist human nature after all. Im sure that Silver and J will be just fine, he is one of the good guys and she sounds cool too.
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Thunder

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Re: Silver
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2019, 04:33:30 AM »
The beauty of silver is, the longer you wear it, the shinier it gets.

 ;D

Shine on, Silver!
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline SilverTopic starter

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Re: Silver
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2019, 04:48:54 AM »
Thanks guys,

Savvy, she is cool with how it is atm, but also hinted that she wants relationship in full  (can't really blame her about that can I?).
Most of all, I am afraid about hurting her bad if I can't give what she deserves. But you guys are right, all of you, I should just relax and let things happen, and see what happens during time. She is an adult person and can make up her own mind.

Having this kind of 'problem' is almost refreshing after MLC show!  ;D

Makes me think how fragile a relationship between 2 adult persons can be in the end. 3 years ago today, I had no slightest idea that today at 2019 I would be in R with someone else than my W. That we would live separated and be divorced. I mean, 3 years is relatively short timeline, isn't it? Yet so much happened in it.

I should be and am grateful that I am this sane, could be much worse. The pain has been very real but for who it wouldn't, that's life.

The beauty of silver is, the longer you wear it, the shinier it gets.

 ;D

Shine on, Silver!

Thank you Thunder, that's beautiful  ;)
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline Whyus

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Re: Silver
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2019, 05:54:52 AM »
Savvy, she is cool with how it is atm, but also hinted that she wants relationship in full  (can't really blame her about that can I?).
So she hasnt realized that your a tool then (duck and run......lol....)
Most of all, I am afraid about hurting her bad if I can't give what she deserves.
I know that feeling
But you guys are right, all of you, I should just relax and let things happen, and see what happens during time. She is an adult person and can make up her own mind.
Exactly
Having this kind of 'problem' is almost refreshing after MLC show!  ;D
Its a luxus Problem mate

You have so got this mate...  8)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

 

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