Just when I think everything is going great...H fails to maintain boundaries with his office staff and it’s me who has to call his attention to it and be the bad guy enforcing the boundaries.
So he is super busy doing a renovation on a new office space that we purchased this summer. His business is moving to the new location in hopefully January or February. Very exciting but he is spread very thin right now. Thursday I was making dinner and it was 6:20pm and I hadn’t heard from him all day. I called his cell and he answered, he was in his car WITH his front desk office manager! Ummm totally awkward explaining took place with them, they had me on speaker. She drove to work and her boyfriend came for lunch...she left car keys in his car....boyfriend is still at work so H was dropping her home.
Innocent enough BUT the fact that he is opening up our relationship to someone feeling this familiar and comfortable that he’s their go to for a ride...not healthy boundaries! His defense is he would never cheat again it was a horrible time in his life, he learned his lesson about selfish behavior and he’d never do that again.
Another part of it that pissed me off is I had to call to find out. Would he have told me if I hadn’t called? He says yes he would have. He claims it was just one of those things, she realized her keys weren’t there as they were closing up the office, it’s “kind of” on the way home. I don’t know....I have no sympathy for the situation...Uber home. Call a friend. Call your boyfriend. She knows the history....and he is your boss, not some buddy from work. So it doesn’t end there.
I express my feelings and he apologized etc.... a few hours later we are getting ready for bed and he looks at his phone....she texted asking if he could pick her up for work bc her car is still at the office, or should she take an Uber? And he is asking me??? Answer seems pretty clear. Uber! He tells her to grab an Uber but I am not over this. Major trigger to the past. I am super anxious, feeling that panic attack feeling all day the next day. We have a discussion and while he understands....he doesn’t really get it. He maintains that his MLC and affair was the absolute worst thing ever, he would never allow someone into his personal life like that again. I just hate that this is part of my life now...the anxiety is real, all those ugly feelings come back!
I am so glad we are working through all this but wow reconciliation is hard!
(edited for ease of reading)