Author Topic: Discussion Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???  (Read 1064 times)

Online OffRoad

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Discussion Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2019, 09:00:53 AM »
they're also grown people who can discover that way on their own.
While I agree with this statement, I also think "Why reinvent the wheel if someone else already has designed one." When it comes to advice or other people's experiences I'm a firm believer in take what you can use, and throw away the rest, but I have to know what that advice or experience is first.

If a disclaimer is needed, how about "This is a 'no-fault' site. You are responsible for your own actions. The views and the postings expressed on this forum are the opinions of the posters and do not necessarily reflect the official position of this website, and sometimes do not reflect reality. Be a discriminating reader."  Just a thought.

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Offline Anjae

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2019, 09:23:39 AM »
It does not cross a line. It has always been given. There is disclaymer created by RCR and aproved by LP, who is a lawyer, that says HS members even if professionals, do not offer advice in a professional capacity.

That avoids HS and its members being liable. The disclaimer has existed for a few years.






Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Thunder

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2019, 09:54:47 AM »
Where is it Anjae?  I don't see it anymore, or am I just missing it?
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline AcornTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2019, 09:56:36 AM »
It does not cross a line. It has always been given. There is disclaymer created by RCR and aproved by LP, who is a lawyer, that says HS members even if professionals, do not offer advice in a professional capacity.

That avoids HS and its members being liable. The disclaimer has existed for a few years.

Where can I find it, Anjae?
It makes legal and common sense for a site such as this to makes sure to protect itself from a lawsuit by a disgruntled member who blames it or other members advice as the reason for his/her poor decision making and outcome thereof. 

Just saw Thunder’s post.  Great minds think alike. LOL!
« Last Edit: April 03, 2019, 10:03:25 AM by Acorn »
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Offline AcornTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2019, 10:16:23 AM »
Found it!  Under ‘Register’.  It does not seem to appear anywhere else.



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Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.
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Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
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Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #15 on: April 03, 2019, 10:52:42 AM »
Hello,

Since I believe I started this, I ave always provided the guidelines that I am not an attorney or a medical doctor. I can provide expert advice in curriculum and instruction, basic special education, negotiations for labor unions, personnel investigations, and charter schools.

If you read my post, I always caution the person that I am not an attorney. Although I work closely with a good one. The laws vary from state to state and especially countries.

Furthermore, you have to have the entire file in front of you and based upon the circumstances make a decision on the best route to take. While many cases seem the same, each legal case is unique to its own. Even experienced attorneys make mistakes and it is hard to unwind once a path is taken. A friend of mine had a case where a federal prisoner who was in a state facility was killed by another prisoner. The case was complex and he ended up calling another attorney who was an expert in this area. They had to painstakingly refile the case with the proper motions and claims.

I always mention on my thread to speak to your attorney or doctor. Ask questions and then make the decision. However, it is and will always be your choice and you own it 100%.

On this site, we give advice and that is what it is advice. We are only hearing the information from one source, respond the best we can, and then move on. If I take someone's advice and it doesn't work, I don't blame the other person. I blame me.

Just my humble opinion and advice.

Ready
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Offline Anjae

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #16 on: April 03, 2019, 10:57:52 AM »
Aconr, I think it also used to appear on the board front page. Maybe the more recent layout changed things. You will have to ask RCR and/or OP why it only shows under "register".


Of course those with health, legal, etc. training, know things those without do not and can offer their experience, but no one on HS is offering advise her someone's personal health of legal professional.

Ready is right, we are also only hearing info from one source. A source we don't even know. Advice is just that, advice. As a general rule, we do an excelent job and the advice is good. I don't think it is possible to ask much more from volunteers, be them mods or other HS members. Everyone here is a volunteer.

Often, we're also presented with very complicated situations. Situations that on-line strangers take time to read about and offer advise to. It is more than many people would do.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Nas

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #17 on: April 03, 2019, 11:12:43 AM »
Hello,

Since I believe I started this


Acorn, please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this discussion was largely sparked by a recent suggestion that as members of a forum, before we post to someone it is incumbent upon us to educate ourselves on whatever issues a person is facing so that we don't appear judgmental or too harsh to the person being posted to.

Of course it is not our duty as posters to educate ourselves on another's specific circumstances.  Especially since, as has been stated, each person is a stranger presenting their circumstances to us and we have only the version of events they provide us.  They may have selectively omitted details for various reasons, among other things.  We don't have anything close to the whole picture of anyone on the forum. 

But this is a forum for support of left behind spouses talking about their experiences of life after BD.  Our thoughts and opinions are shared to provide general support to others who have been BDed/left behind, not to fix problems or provide individualized responses tailored to their very specific needs. 

Offline Anjae

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #18 on: April 03, 2019, 11:26:49 AM »
Lets say one of us is a doctor, health professional, lawyer and someone posts about illness or legal issue X.

The professional person may have a better knowledge that those of us who are not professionals, but, for example, a neurologist will not know as much as a cardiologist about hearth issues, and the cardiologist will not know as much about neurological issues. A family lawyer will not know as much about crime and a crime lawyer will not know as much as a family lawyer, etc.

HS is for people dealing with a spouse in MLC and to offer support and advice on the matter. We do much more than that. We can hardly be asked to do more than we already do. Yet, several of us took courses on a variety of subjects to known more about a number of things, etc.

We can't all be experts in all issues on the face on earth. I think most of us have a good idea of many issues, but no one is an expert in everything. Not even the biggest expert on a matter knows everything about that matter.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline OldPilot

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Re: Support and advice on the forum. Where do you draw the line???
« Reply #19 on: April 03, 2019, 12:09:29 PM »
Aconr, I think it also used to appear on the board front page. Maybe the more recent layout changed things. You will have to ask RCR and/or OP why it only shows under "register".

It is on the Forum Information board.

Here
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11.0

 

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The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.