Author Topic: My Story MLC picture show round 2  (Read 1685 times)

Online sachat3Topic starter

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My Story MLC picture show round 2
« on: April 04, 2019, 05:28:05 AM »
Previous thread https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10644.0;all

Hope I’ve linked that right as I’m on my phone and not the best with these things.

Thankfully UM it’s not conjunctivitis. The kids have had that before and I’ve been to the opticians with this (doctors didn’t have an appointment) but the only eye drops he suggested I’ve had reactions too so it’s a case of cleaning with cool boiled water compress for now and avoiding eye makeup as best I can.

So
I’m going to start my new thread with nothing so much MLCer related, We haven’t seen H since last night and as I’m at my mums tonight and then me and the kids are going to the caravan tomorrow morning till sometime Sunday. I doubt we will hear from H this weekend. However this is more ME based. Me me me Me. It’s all about sacha T 🤣

So I know one thing I’ve been struggling with, is implementing boundaries. I’ve tried many times before and always failed. However, I think I’ve failed in the past because I’ve woke up thinking right as of today I’m doing A B C D and X Y and Z. And I couldn’t keep up with them all and it was like spinning plates. And within hours/days a few plates had been smashed slowly followed by the others. So I’ve decided I’m going to set my boundaries one by one and then when I’m comfortable with one move onto the next.

Boundary A is I don’t text/call H unless it’s something that needs dealing with THEN and can not wait. If I have a issue that needs fixing but can wait until Hs next visitation. I will bring it up then or if there is something H needs to know ie- D2 has a hospital appointment it can wait until I next see him. I will not text him updates of the kids because quite frankly we see him often enough so he doesn’t need them there and then. Plus he stalks my social media I’ve no doubt of that so if he wishes to see what we are doing he can go to the trouble of stalking me.
Boundary B was the schedule. That’s now set up and we are both aware of where the kids will be and when. The only time we have changed it is when H has the weekends off so that it works out that we both have a weekend free. So fair is fair I guess.
Boundary C is I’ve started locking my doors. Which shops H popping in and checking up on me/us. When H has the kids. The kids are with him. I won’t pop in to him unless it’s vital life or death shindigs. And my door will be locked and if he does knock on for whatever reason. I will speak to him at the door. He will not come in.
Boundary D (not yet implemented but will be next once I’ve got used to C) is when the kids are going to his. They will be ready. I’m going to get H to give me times. Not just “Oh I’ll come get them in the morning around 9-10”. I will make sure I have all the kids have everything they need and they will be ready and raring to go. H will potentially maybe stand in the kitchen. He will not walk around the house as though he lives here still.

I’m aware these boundaries may take a while to get in. I’m also more than aware that it will probably be longer for it to sink in with him. However I do think that it’s much better to take longer to get them and not fail. Than for me to try and do them all at once and then fail again and again.

One boundary I’m looking forward to implementing but I just can’t at the minute is becoming more financially independent. At the moment, H doesn’t give me “child maintenance” so to speak. I receive housing benefit to help with my rent. What my housing benefit doesn’t cover H pays the rest - £380. He pays £200 toward a joint debt we both accrued however is in my name. He pays my sky TV £40. He pays my water debt also £30. So we’re talking around £600 a month. HOWEVER I’ve got a fair bit of debt, so my plan is, that I will clear my debt and as I can, I will take over more and more of these. Because as it stands, should H turn vanisher and just decide not to pay I would struggle one hell of a lot. I won’t take all of them, due to the fact that he is required to pay maintenance so he isn’t getting away Scot free. However just means my GALing may well be most Saturdays having a Netflix night or visiting friends ha! I plan on, clearing debt and saving so me and the kids can have more nice things to do.

I think that also something I’ve learnt in my 17 months since BD is that whilst it’s nice to get out with the girls and drink your body weight in Prosecco dancing till 3am. That’s not all you have to do to get a life. Getting a life can also be having a bubble bath and enjoying a good book! I’m not saying I’ll never go out again. I will. Just not every weekend when H has the kids.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Treasur

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2019, 05:55:46 AM »
Imho what helps most with boundaries (which are for us) as opposed to rules (which are for others) is that we get clear on what we need most and why that boundary helps that.

So, some of my earlier communication choices with my then h were bc it was exhausting (and insane) so I needed to choose how/if I was going to communicate which made it less exhausting or reduced the amount of insane on my plate. Later, NC was about removing myself from nasty crazy stuff...none of it was about what he thought or felt or did.

What is great about boundaries Is the more you do them - and they can change with circumstances and you don't always have to announce them - is that you get clearer and clearer about what is ok or important to you. And that makes it easier to stick to them. Tbh I think the root is about being able to trust yourself to look after your own best interests.

What are YOUR needs (or maybe the kids) that sit behind these boundaries, Sach? Reads like there is something in there about you having an independent bit of your life and some privacy as opposed to fitting yourself in round other people's plans?
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2019, 07:18:28 AM »
The "Thou shalt not wander around in the house you no longer live in" boundary is a good one... I struggle with this one a bit as STBXW just walks to the kids rooms after I let her in if she feels like it... almost like an inspection tour... She did NOT go downstairs to where my room and my office are this last visit so that was fine with me...

Boundary D is something that I have had to implement as well, especially if STBXW is dropping off the kids.. She expects me to wait at home for 3-4 hours ("I'll bring the kids between noon and 15:00") and then she'll be late... VERY passive-aggressive behaviour and I have gotten to the point where I will pick them up at her house instead... or I give her a MUCH smaller window of time...

And yes, you did the linking correctly!  Well done!
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2019, 07:58:28 AM »
Oh no the boundaries are for me. I mean I know as a secondary thing they will also cause him to monkey brain a bit. But that’s not the motivation. I guess with how things are atm I want my life to be my own. My house to be my own and ultimately be run solely by me. When that bomb dropped. In all senses of the word I was firetrucked. H was the only one who brought any money in. So had he been like some other MLCers I would have been completely screwed as I would have had no money to pay anything. So I guess it’s partly about being self sufficient. I mean I’m 27 so I’m not going to be alone for the rest of my life but I want to be able to survive the same weather or not I have a man. I also want my time to be just that MY TIME. And as H is changing his tactics I’ve got to try and be one step ahead.

Here’s me telling everyone “oh I don’t think I’ll have any contact with H since last night”

Low and behold 2:15pm he’s at my door. Despite him working! About 5 minutes before him amazon came. It wasn’t a parcel for me. It was for him so I never went to the door I was getting ready. Then I hear a knock. So I go to it and it’s H for the parcel. He had been tracking the parcel so he left work for it. Well so he says anyway.

As soon as I opened the door H made a comment about my face (in his defence I was bright orange as I was in the middle of doing my makeup!) he did try and step forward to come in the house but as I didn’t step back he couldn’t get in so he stayed at the door. I know H popping by like this may seem like typical H but him leaving work (where Ow will be able to find out he’s left I’m sure of it) to come and “check in” is VERY unlike him. He’s only done it twice. Today and Saturday just gone. You see what I mean by his changing or tactics.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2019, 08:15:04 AM »
I think they are good boundaries Sachat.. He walked away and with that he lost the right to walk into the house at any time like he still lives there. I also completely understand the financial independence. That was one of the first things I did.. Easier as we don't have kids and I always worked but it was a way to prove to myself that my wish to have him back had nothing to do with financial convenience. I knew it wasn't but the proof is in the pudding!

Why does he get parcels delivered to your house?
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2019, 09:21:48 AM »
They sound like good first steps to be fair.

Easy enough to implement but the change he will feel after a week or two of this will be big.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2019, 01:30:39 AM »
I literally have no idea why the parcels still come to me. Some of his letters do too. Funnily enough, I don’t know if his payslips have gone paperless but since he’s been with Ow he hasn’t had any payslips to the house. But that’s the only thing that hasn’t come. He even changed banks about three four months after BD and used my address. I asked him why the parcel came to mine and his only answer was

“I usually get it sent to the lockers at work”

That didn’t really answer my question.

In all honesty, I know the boundaries will affect him but that’s only a secondary reason. Like the reason I’ve stopped sleeping with him had nothing to do with him. It was just something for me. I don’t care about him or what the boundaries feel like for him. It’s all about me. And if I choose to let one slip and slide because it makes my life easier then so be it. But that’s because it benefits me and not him. I’d much rather say, prolong his crisis. Prolong everything but do things in a way that works for me. Than anything tbf.

We arrived at my mums caravan yesterday. We go home tomorrow and we come back again on Thursday.

I’ve had no contact with him since parcel gate and I very much doubt i will tbf which suits me well enough. I prefer no contact but I can’t really do no contact as we have such small kids! Ha!

I suppose this is my time to be selfish
« Last Edit: April 06, 2019, 01:31:53 AM by sachat3 »
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2019, 04:12:00 AM »
I hope you are having a good time Sachat! When my H was still around, any time away from him really gave me a chance to put things in perspective. I don't like the idea of no contact but dim or dark works well for me but very hard in your case with the young kids..

As for the parcels.. I get it, I chose my battles too.. Every now and again I still get letters for H here too and I don't really make a big deal out of it.. I just thought it was strange he would get them delivered to your house, that's all..

H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Online Treasur

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2019, 04:35:04 AM »
My xh had post coming to our old house literally until I moved out...maybe 18 months or so? Ignored every polite request to change it; bear in mind he had two other places he was living in at that point  ::) I started just sending it back as 'not known at this address' eventually which finally prompted him to deal with it when it created a problem with a work cc.... ::) I got fed up of being a postal service for someone who wouldn't talk to me about all the other practical stuff....
« Last Edit: April 07, 2019, 04:36:10 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

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Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2019, 04:55:57 AM »
I mean I defo agree it’s strange. To me, if I was him, why would I want everything I order, all my mail, bank cards, bank statements etc etc going to the house I no longer live in? I get it’s annoying to change everything over BUT it’s just one of those things you do when you move out. Especially if your so certain your never coming back. I understand the odd bit of mail. Especially the generic mail companies send out. I still get the odd advert for the man who lived here before me from the opticians. But almost every item of Hs mail comes here. It’s been almost 17 months since he moved out. But then like you say, it’s about picking battles. I’ve got so many more things that are of higher importance to “deal with” so to speak.

I do find, well usually, that when I come back from being away. H tends to linger around more than usual. But I’m not sure how he will be now as I’ve noticed a shift in him. But we don’t really hear from him when we’re away which makes it handy for me because life is easier without him pestering. Luckily, I’m only home Monday and Tuesday this week as Wednesday my dads picking me up and I’m staying there again and then Thursday we’re heading back to the caravan. It’s really handy having the caravan to come to especially in half term.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2019, 02:13:00 AM »
We’re home (till Thursday)

I can’t tell you how glad I am to be home. I do love being away with the girls and having that time etc etc but this time my mum was just extra irritating. Making very sly passive aggressive comments like “well there’s no point getting back with a ex” at the most random times. She asked who bought D7 ukulele and I said H and she pulled a face. They never got on as we were together. Infact they completely stopped speaking when I was pregnant with D5 and haven’t been in the same room since! Which is odd because when I told her we split (a month after BD. I didn’t want to tell anyone until the January as I thought this would be something that would blow over. But Ow uploaded a photo of their shoes on a escalator- pathetic I know BUUT that was a point I couldn’t hide it anymore) and my mum was telling me then that I needed to get back with him for the kids blah blah and then since I’ve explained it’s MLC she’s switched. So being away has had its moments to say the least.

I haven’t heard from H since he popped in for his parcel and honestly it’s been rather peaceful. However I now feel like a ticking time bomb. Now we have this new schedule H isn’t due to see the children till tomorrow but I’m not sure if he will pop by today or text so I feel very on edge waiting to see. Trying to avoid my phone for a bit.

Oddly enough when I got home and checked the letterbox. I had 4 letters in there THREE were addressed to H. Three 🤣 one of them I can see through the clear bit for address it says “Standards agency” I’m 99.999999% sure it’ll be from the driving standards agency. Which as far as I’m aware, it’s illegal to have your license addressed at a different address to where you live!? H would know this as FIL used to be a driving examiner before he worked where he is now.

Also on the way home, we drove past where Ow works. This jogged my memory that when I accident unblocked her and then had to wait to block her again. I saw on her Facebook she moved to a different office. Which I could be wrong, but come to think of it. I don’t think she’s working with H anymore. Even tho they were never on the same site so to speak. She was in the office they still work together. However now I don’t think they do as she’s at a new site. Which makes sense with H coming out or work to “check on me” as Ow will probably not know anymore. Which is adding to my tense feeling today as I’m more aware he could pop up at home. Also makes me chuckle as at the old office Ow had a reputation for sleeping with taken men at that office so now she’s at a new office with fresh meat ha!

Also, something H said recently is now playing on my mind. I never noticed it at the time but now I’ve been away and had more time to think I’ve noticed it. So when me and H got together H was always super sarcastic, super wind up merchant he would share things on social media and didn’t really care if people were offended. He was always of the opinion that it’s your problem if your offended. I mean he wasn’t much of a D!£k he just found his stuff funny and was never one or those who wouldn’t share something because someone somewhere might be offended. He was always so stubborn and would argue till he was blue in the face with people. Ow made/makes (not sure anymore) it clear when they argue online as she’ll throw up a “men ain’t sssss” style quote and make it obvious. However when me and H had a discussion about the schedule he was very stern with what he was saying and I said “H, I am not arguing with you. You’ve been spoiling for this argument and I’m just not giving it you” to which he replied “Are you thick? I can’t syand arguing. I don’t want to argue with anyone. Can’t stand it. Can’t stand conflict” which given the man I know/knew. It’s now polar opposite.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2019, 02:19:39 AM by sachat3 »
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2019, 03:46:03 AM »
And I was right to be on my guard as H has just FaceTimed.

His FaceTime came up as I was reading a news article and sharing with my friends. Said article was talking about a woman who referred to her ex husbands new wife as a horse, and was arrested in Dubai for cyber crimes. This is something I called Ow around BD (I know I know juvenile and immature!) but anyway so I was sharing it with them with the caption “looks like I can’t go Dubai” and he FaceTimed. It felt a bit like that weird creepy thing where you say something in the mirror and it appears.

So we FaceTimed back. I made sure all three girls were there so they could FaceTime their dad. H regularly tried to get me to talk by saying certain things like “You alright!” And I just ignored it. Eventually he said “so sacha what’s the deal with tomorrow?” And I explained he has them all day and all night. He then made a comment like “oh but you said I have to bring them back at 8” I’ve explained that is during the school term time. They can’t sleep at his when they have school the next day but as it’s Easter holidays it’s different. He said he would be over “early doors for the kids” when I asked what time. I said “that doesn’t answer my question. What time? He then said “8-9” so again I said “I need more specifics. Shall we say 8:30?” And he agreed.

Side note - I’ve just fallen for his bloody trap. He said I took a FaceTime pic (I didn’t so I went to my camera roll. Screenshotted and sent it him) as I didn’t have the FaceTime pic because I never did it. Again I wish my brain would engage properly because one of the photos at the very very top is a screenshot someone sent me of Ow Instagram of her baiting me. You can’t see Ow name you can just see it says “liked by (Ow friends name) and 9 others”
I really hope he doesn’t clock or mention it because that’s my ace card! I’ve just checked and he will only be able to see if he actually clicks to enlarge the picture on iMessage and not from the instant pic thing
« Last Edit: April 08, 2019, 03:52:14 AM by sachat3 »
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2019, 04:21:52 AM »
First of all...what does it matter if you did screenshot a facetime? Not like you were having phone sex.  ::)

Second of all YOU have nothing to prove to HIM.

He is the one having an affair, sneaking about making an ass of himself.

Don't ever give him stuff like that. He is not entitled to it.

Now he WILL zoom into EVERY picture on that for clues to see what you have been up to.

P.S. Next time take a buncha pictures of like...you flipping him off...then screenshot and send that.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2019, 04:24:17 AM by Mortesbride »
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2019, 04:31:21 AM »
No I know. Once I’d sent it I was like FFS why did I even do that but because I guess I was just a bit defensive I jumped straight into the “No I f*ckin didn’t here is your proof” type thing. Whereas it was only 5 minutes later that I thought, hold on he never could have got the notification because the photo isn’t in my camera roll therefore he just said it in the hope I would react the way I did to get my camera roll.

Lucky for me and unlucky for him ALL the pics on my phone are quote photos. I uploaded all my holiday pics on Facebook and then delete from my phone. So he’s just got a loaf of positive affirmation and spray tan quotes haha!

I suppose it’s jusy annoying when I fall for his traps because at the time I don’t see them. It’s only after the event when I’m like “oh shoot. Now I see it”
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2019, 05:08:35 AM »
I just had an idea...

Next time he says $#!t like that....

You can say "Yeah? And? That way the kids know what their father looks like."

Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2019, 05:17:33 AM »
Haha. I wish i had responded so differently yuno. Which is the annoying thing.

In my head, because we haven’t had any contact since Thursday when he “popped” for his parcel, I was convinced that he would make a sexual comment or say something like “show me you T&ts” and because I was so on edge about him even contacting us today my brain was so focused on how to respond to that type of comment that I just forgot about how to respond to anything else. A skill I need to master is focusing on more than one thing at a time.

Even if he does notice that screenshot there is LITERALLY no sign of Ow name or picture or anything. It’s just her friends insta username so there is no way he would be able to clock. No matter how much he zoomed in.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2019, 07:04:35 AM »
I'm constantly saying it...

Game of chess...

Gotta think 3 moves ahead and prepare for as many scenarios as possible.  :D
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #17 on: April 08, 2019, 08:09:05 AM »
Not kidding haha. This is why, tomorrow me and the kids will all be ready and raring to go by 8am (I have a sneaky feeling he’s going to turn up early!) the bags will be packed for the kids and they will have had breakfast so there will literally be no need for him to linger around - I’m sure he will still try.

Knowing I have a full day to myself tomorrow and a night I’m going to be “up and at em” and make the most of it. I’m not sure what I’ll do BUT I will get them back in the morning I presume and my dad will be getting us at 3:30 for another trip to the caravan. So it will be nice and chilled ha! The metaphorical calm before the storm.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #18 on: April 09, 2019, 01:33:40 AM »
Wow. Those monkeys were in full force this morning 🤣

H comes over to get the girls and by the kitchen door is a bag full of clothes, nappies, the girls coats. Literally everything the kids need for the night. When he came over the kids were all ready and so was I. I was in the kitchen cleaning and as soon as he came in I shouted the girls and said “there’s the bag” he then started wandering and I said “what you looking for?” He then said D2 coat. I said “it’s there” he said he wanted the other one. So he got that. He then put it in the bag. Went to the hall again and I said “what you doing?” He went “looking for something” so I asked what? And be shot straight to “who you hiding in the house?” I said “nobody you just don’t live here anymore” and he then said “that’s never stopped me before but whatever” he then claimed to be looking for the other shoe of D5. (The kids were wearing their shoes already) so I said he didn’t need them and he said he preferred these shoes. Then he’s back in the kitchen. Had a brief chat about when he’s bringing the kids back tomorrow etc. I finish doing the dishes and he’s snuck upstairs. So I shouted “what you looking for” he then said he was looking for a different jumper.

When he came back he was in s mood. I didn’t say anything. And he went “well” again I stayed quite and then he said “you” I said “what you mean me?” He went “heaven forbid I should step foot out the kitchen” I never responded.

When he came over he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt which is off because normally he will wear a hoodie. I didn’t think anything of it until D7 pointed out H had some of his sleeve coloured. So he was trying to get me to notice it. He said he got it done on Friday.  This is something he had always been saying he would get done but never got round too and now he has.

So now he had s full house. Brand new motorbike. Check. Affair down. Check. New sporty car. Check. And the new tattoo. Bing bing bing!
« Last Edit: April 09, 2019, 01:35:05 AM by sachat3 »
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #19 on: April 09, 2019, 01:45:22 AM »
Quote from: sachat3
he then said “that’s never stopped me before but whatever”

"You are right, it hasn't stopped you before but it will starting from now on. You don't live here anymore."

Wow! Mean old Mr. Reality is such a firetrucking Buzzkill.....
Look familiar?
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #20 on: April 09, 2019, 03:39:16 AM »
Omg I woulda went rolling with the  ''who you got hiding in the house''. Seeping levels of paranoia and jealousy much?  ;D

Just start rattling off fake names and watch him spin until his head explodes. ::)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #21 on: April 09, 2019, 03:53:43 AM »
Typical MLC behavior though, isn't it? I don't want you but nobody can have you  ::)
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #22 on: April 09, 2019, 11:49:29 AM »
UM - exactly! It’s not stopped him before BUT things are changing and I’m taking my power back! My house. My rules

Morte - my best friend has always said I should “sh!g him and call out someone else’s name. Ideally a name he knows ha!” I’ve thought about it many tomes I must admit and picturing his face gives me so many inner giggles.

One day - exactly! I mean, when I told him Ow wasn’t aloud to be next door. He then said “oh and no men are aloud in your house then” (I had already made this promise to myself as this is mine and my girls house. It’s my safe haven) so I let him think I agreed but it’s funny how their childish ways work isn’t it.

So I went out today, had my nails done. Did a bit of shopping and I decided I’d have a bit of a pamper Tuesday. So I bought myself some new self tan, coconut oil for my hair, bath bomb, face mask the lot! I also grabbed myself a bottle of wine. I came home fairly early as I wanted to have a Netflix binge as well. As soon as I got home, I ran myself a bath and was planning on stripping my fake tan off. H must have been watching because guess who was banging on my door JUST as I was completely naked about to get in the bath. *eye roll* apparently D2 had been sick and needed more clothes. He then kept saying “you can drop the towel you know” to which I replied “I could. But I don’t want too” I kept ushering him out he said he would see himself out and I explained I needed to lock the door behind him. Once I had had my bath and scrubbed my tan off I put my PJs on and started deep cleaning the kitchen. I was mopping the floor and left my door open. Next thing I know H is stood there, laughing as I was singing to Nikki minaj. I said “what do you want now” he then said he might keep the kids till midday tomorrow. I said that’s fine as Thursday we’re going back to the caravan and I’m not going to turn down a lie in now am I. And off he goes fiddling in his car. He then comes back with two 50p pieces but the army ones. I’m a bit of a geek that keeps all the “pretty 50ps” in a separate tin. I did think it was sweet that he knew I collected them for me. He then asked if I was going out and I just looked at him. He pulled a face and said “your child free and staying in” to which I said, what I do in my child free time is none of your concern. He then made a comment about “helping me fake tan my back” I just ignored him. He also made a comment about the 50ps he gave me were payment for some “pictures” and I just said “£1. Are you mad? I sell them online for way more!” Oh my lord, if you could have seen his face 🤣

As I’m having my second bath of the evening as I’m typing this. A knock has just been at the door. I stood at the right spot on the stairs to see who it was without them seeing me. It was H so I just went back in the bath. If he really REALLY needs something he can text or pop back again. But I’m sure he doesn’t need anything.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #23 on: April 10, 2019, 02:26:06 AM »
Omg I woulda went rolling with the  ''who you got hiding in the house''. Seeping levels of paranoia and jealousy much?  ;D

Just start rattling off fake names and watch him spin until his head explodes. ::)

Plus a heaping helping of projection.....

"I'm not the one having the affair now, am I? I have nothing to hide.... unlike some people"

Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #24 on: April 10, 2019, 09:53:38 AM »
Sachat- I would love to meet u one day! 3 kids and you are still doing your fake tan and nails. Awesome.

Your MlC er really can’t live without you...I think it must be so hard to separate and detach from him when he is popping around and making suggestive comments about putting the fake tan on your back. It sounds like he is really immature.....he thinks the relationship is some sort of teenage love affair. But he’s forgotten he’s got kids and is a grown man with responsibilities. Does he think about how this is effecting his kids? Does he actually like being a father? He sounds like he is still really attracted to you but doesn’t want to be a family man.
Me- 47 at BD
MLC husband -45 at BD
1 daughter - 2 1/2 years at BD
BD 1 - January 6, 2018 moves out
November 2018 - moves back in for 1 month then leaves saying relationship over, wants a divorce then flies over last minute to be with OW on holiday.
BD 2 - OW confirmed December 14, 2018 - meeting up with her for holiday
BD3 - engaged to OW December 21, 2018
BD 4 - tells me he is moving back to home country on January 27, 2019. Gives me 5 days notice. His flight date is February 1, 2019.

I just want the money and him out of my life!

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #25 on: April 11, 2019, 01:07:09 AM »
Oh UM I think he would need something bigger to deliver his projection 🤣

Yuno Limbo I wonder myself a lot. I think the responsibility side of parenting is probably what got to him more. He always wanted kids. He always said he only ever wanted two. Very typical wanted a boy and a girl. Even before we were a couple. It was two kids. Then when we had D7. He only wanted one more. Then D5 and he was very happy with his two. And then along came D2 who somehow managed to poke her way through despite us using contraception. And not only that, we didn’t find out we were having D2 until I was almost 22 weeks pregnant! Haha. And then since she’s been born she’s had so many health issues and has been in and out of hospital. So I do believe that was his “snapping” point. It’s funny because his bio bit on Facebook and Instagram used to read “Daddy first and foremost. Family man and amateur photographer” then since he got with Ow he deleted it all and it just says “Company he works for (well known company) driver”. So even he knows he’s not his usual self.

So yesterday (Wednesday) H said he would have the kids till dinner time. So I had my lie in and I also ran a few errands in the morning. I was constantly in and out of the house as I had so many bits to do. Around 12, I decided to sit down with a cuppa and catch up on my soaps. Well a very silly person clearly forgot to lock the door didn’t she because H walks in. He then has a general chat and asks when we are going to the caravan. I said tomorrow morning and then he asked could he have the kids a bit longer then. I agreed as from tomorrow morning he wouldn’t be seeing the kids till Tuesday. He then showed me a video of D2 saying “bubble”. Which brought a tear to my eye. It wasn’t a clear word but D5 was blowing bubbles and she said it. Now D2 is 3 in August and is non verbal. She can’t say a single word that’s clear and with meaning. So it was really nice. He then walked near the TV and saw some white powder (carpet cleaner) and asked what it was. I sarcastically said “Sniff it and see” he then made a comment about me “getting the D” and I ignored him. After a minute or so I said “you do realise, that last time was the last time” he looked really shocked and didn’t say anything but went back out. I then locked the door. I carried on with my day and then a few hours later H brought the kids back. I was wearing a very supportive bra under my T-shirt and H said “they have defo got bigger” I didn’t reply but heard him mutter “god I miss those T$ts!” I didn’t acknowledge it at all. He then started bringing the kids stuff back. He then started telling me all about the 50ps he has at work for me. I ignored him. I mean, it would be ace if he does have all these coins for me but I’m also aware he can be a great big fibber and sometimes he says things just for the sake of having a conversation. He then went off out for a few hours. I started packing again and pottering about upstairs. As I’m lay on my bed with a cup of tea watching a video on my phone H walks into my bedroom. I said “WTF are you doing here again?” And he said “D7 let me in” she was stood behind him smirking. In his hand he had snack things for the kids and told them they were for the trip tomorrow. It’s about a 2.5-3hour drive. I then walk downstairs so H follows me. If he’s gonna be about he can be in the kitchen. Not wandering upstairs. He then starts itching his new tattoo as a way of making me look but I didn’t acknowledge it. He asks if I wanted H to pay for the tattoo I had dedicated to him, covered up. I’ve got Roman numerals on my wrist for the date we got together. I said no I didn’t need that as nobody knows what it means unless I tell them and anyway it’s the date I met my kids father so who cares. I then asked if he wanted me to get the tattoo he got dedicated to me covered up. He just has “love” on his hand but I picked it and designed it. He said “no I ain’t getting that covered up. Never” he then says goodbye to the kids. And makes a comment about how “the last goodbye has already been done for us!” Clearly playing on his mind he’s not getting me into bed again ha!D5 wanted to wave him off so she was in the kitchen with me and he kisses D5 and says “I love you” he then looks at me and says “defo don’t love you” to which I replied “well that’s a lie” and he just smiled.

Again I know I probably shouldn’t have had these chats with him BUT especially with telling him it was the last time of us being intimate. I sort of felt like I needed to say it. I needed him to know it’s not something I’m going to change my mind on. Certainly not whilst OW is in the picture anyway. But anyway, we go away to the caravan again today and won’t be back until Sunday but due to the schedule we shouldn’t see H until Tuesday so I’m glad I said things that needed saying and now we will probably (maybe) have no contact till Tuesday!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #26 on: April 11, 2019, 01:20:58 AM »
Boy, he REALLY just does NOT get it, does he?



Oh, and the guided missile was NOT him projecting, it was YOUR delivery of the epic truth bombs....
« Last Edit: April 11, 2019, 01:22:41 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #27 on: April 11, 2019, 01:43:04 AM »
Well no UM he isn’t getting it. Which is why I felt I needed to actually say it out loud. Because I think when I’ve rejected him in the past I think he’s put it down to being me not in the mood AT THAT MOMENT and it not being a case or not doing today tomorrow next week maybe even next year. I mean I’m a very never say never kinda gal but the way things are currently IT IS NOT HAPPENING. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted sometimes but nope. Not now pal. Not now.

It’s also really annoying that H didn’t stay at Ow last night. He hasn’t for a while tbf which means he’s parked on my drive so when my mum comes over and sees the car I’ll have 21 questions! Fantastic!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #28 on: April 11, 2019, 02:18:51 AM »
You just can’t make this Sh!t up can you. MAAAN!

So yesterday as we were saying goodbyes. H said “see you Tuesday” we agreed Tuesday. Schedule day. Normal normal.

So I’m in my room, kids are downstairs. Im packing and have my music on. Kids are watching TV and playing. And I hear someone coming up the stairs. So (my thinking it’s the kids) shouts “downstairs”. It’s ONLY B!OODY H STOOD AT THE TOP OF MY STAIRS. I just looked at him and he said “D7 let me in” which makes me think he’s probably knocking loud enough for kids to hear but not me. So he can creep in.  He asked what time we are going and I said I’m not sure just waiting for my mum to come but she’ll text first so hopefully not too soon as I’ve still got things to pack and sort. But I then walk downstairs to lead H downstairs. When downstairs D5 asks him when he’s getting her name tattooed on him. So far he only has D7 name. And he says soon. There’s a gap on his arm that he hasn’t had filled he always said it was for my name. He pointed to his other arm and said where he would get D5 and D2 name. Then I jokingly said “and there (pointing to the space) is there mummy’s name is going” he then flexed his arm to show off the space and said “yep right there” then paused and said “nope”. I didn’t say anything but thought it was funny.

He told D5 that he will pop over before he goes out if we are still here. So come on mummy T. Hurry up!!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #29 on: April 11, 2019, 02:59:56 AM »
Quote from: Sachat3
I just looked at him and he said “D7 let me in” which makes me think he’s probably knocking loud enough for kids to hear but not me. So he can creep in. 

Time for some new house rules..... That is EXACTLY what he is doing... Creeping in to control/inspect/surprise you....  It is WAY past time that $#!t comes to an end....

And I think we MIGHT have had different meanings for "getting it." <snort> But BOTH fit the bill....

As far as the tattoo goes.... would you WANT your name tatted on his arm now? 
My Tat rules were : Never get one while drunk (I haven't), NO names (I don't even have my kids names although I have thought about that one), nothing having to do with my former employer (US Navy), and nothing I'd be ashamed of having my mom see.... although she is a rabid anti-tattoo person......
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #30 on: April 11, 2019, 04:11:57 AM »
That’s exactly it. I think from now on, because it’s too complicated to explain to D5 or D7. “Don’t open the door to daddy” I’m just doing to lock the door and put the key out of their reach as I was leaving the key in the door.

Well if he had my name on him it wouldn’t affect me at all. If anything I’d find it funny oh look Ow. Look who’s name he has 🤣 we both only have D7 name haha. But that tattoo I had done is shockingly bad so I’m getting it covered up. It’s funny because after a drunken chat with my two besties we all said we would get each other’s initials behind our ears to signify we will always be there to listen to one another. This was just a drunken thing However, one of my best friends has the same initials as H. So now I think that would be quite funny 🤣

H did come back but luckily he’s now gone out and my mum is on her way. No contact now until atleast Sunday I think. Which will help me clear my fiddled mind!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online One day at a time

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #31 on: April 11, 2019, 09:07:18 AM »
Yep, putting the keys away sounds like a good idea. Somewhere high were the kids can't reach  ;)

Enjoy your time away Sachat! Nice to get a bit of space from your clinger  ::)
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #32 on: April 12, 2019, 04:03:30 AM »
So I’m unsure if this is something that is a “sign” so to speak.

So H has a family member we will call her E. E is very much team sacha. H knows this. E followed Ow on Instagram at the beginning and Ow followed back. H didn’t like it because he doesn’t seem to want his extended family knowing of her existence. E then made a post on her story about how amazing I am and Ow saw it. H has E on Instagram. He brought up the story to me. H has since blocked E on Instagram. This was over a year ago and all very soon after BD. H has always slagged E off post BD.

Then today, E messages me (were in regular contact) and shows me how H has “liked” one of her tweets on Twitter. He hasn’t done this since me and him split. He even stopped using twitter.

Now I know it’s the teeniest of teeny tiny things. It’s just a social media like. But I have a inkling, it is more than just a like. If that makes sense. I wonder if this is him, potentially trying to rebuild relations with all the people he has cut off in the past? Because he was very quick to cut her off as soon as the bomb dropped and E particularly was very hurt by it as they were close. E isn’t an official blood relative but her mum is Hs mums best mate and her dad was also Hs dads best mate when he died. So they were very close and they identify as cousins!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #33 on: April 12, 2019, 04:21:10 AM »
I think you are reading to much into a like that can easily be smashed with no intention at all.

And I am glad you are putting the key up to stop the revolving door of creep tastic creeperson.   ;)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #34 on: April 12, 2019, 04:39:00 AM »
I agree with Morte, I don't think it means anything..

My H became friends on FB with a friend of mine a while ago.. I thought it was a sign because this friend met H in work a few months after he left me and he told H how upset he was about our split and if there was any chance of reconciliation, etc etc.. Needless to say that H was very uncomfortable with the conversation and brushed him off with some excuse and they never met again.... I never asked my friend to confirm but I doubt very much my friend initiated the friend request so I thought "Oh, H is trying to get closer to the person who asked about potential reconciliation"  ???

But that was that, nothing ever came from it. To be honest, you are better off not even giving those little details a place in your head. I don't always get to follow my own advice but I know it's pointless.
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #35 on: April 12, 2019, 04:53:10 AM »
Yep keys will be out of reach of kiddos because I know they would meet not open the door to him.

Well this is the thing I think because I’m away from the crazy train that I have more time to think. I mean I won’t lie it shocked me because H is very systematic with his likes. He’s not the type to “accidentally” like something. Especially not someone like E as she was all but dead to him at BD.

I don’t think it means anything with me and him but I do wonder if it’s a way for H and E to sort or repair something first. Maybe he’s growing sick or having nobody in his life? As he literally has Ow. No friends. No nothing. When me and H were together he had a few friends but they’ve gone now and when he’s around his mum he doesn’t really talk to her. She literally knows nothing about anything.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #36 on: April 12, 2019, 04:57:45 AM »


Sacha.... DON'T GO THERE!



It has about the same amount of meaning as if he stuck his finger up his nose....

Until it reaches the stage of CONSISTENT ACTION, it means nothing...
« Last Edit: April 12, 2019, 04:58:49 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #37 on: April 12, 2019, 08:51:15 AM »
Oh no I know. I’m not looking into as anything. Just wondering I guess. Time away to think isn’t always good ha!

So
I took the kids out to a place called bedgellert. It’s lovely. And they all got a nice walk. Fresh air. The works. Yuno no more iPad zombie kids.

When I returned and checked my social media. I had another message from E. H has liked yet another of her tweets. She made a comment about how he appears to have only been using twitter in the last few days.

See my intuition is telling me this is something more than social media likes BUT I can’t figure out what?

He doesn’t have Facebook. He didn’t use twitter until recently. Hardly uses snapchat. He has Ow on all his social media BUT from when I did my stalkeystalk on her. She hardly used twitter. So is he using twitter as a way of escaping her breathing down his neck!?

Or he is trying to get “pally” with E as a way of seeing what I’m doing. He knows me and E are friendly. She tweeted me recently telling me I was her ride or die. However, since BD all my friends are people he won’t know. I no longer associate with the people he knows/knew!

Or is it really innocent and he wants some friends again?

Who knows time will tell.

In March when I got my new phone I was logging out off all my apps on my old phone so I could let D7 play on it without her doing something and I realised I was still logged in on my business twitter. H followed this account and this account followed H. So in March this year, I could see Hs tweets via this account. I blocked H on my own twitter a while ago. Now I think H must have realised I blocked him on my personal profile because H has now (since March) blocked my business page. I’m so deeply hurt by this (sarcasm ofcourse)
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #38 on: April 12, 2019, 08:55:36 AM »
I have also explained to E that it might not be as happy as she is thinking.

E was quite excited because she misses H. H complained about her a lot but deep down he loved her. When she needed help with anything H was always there. When she needed picking up from a random night out. H would get her. When she moved into her new flat. H helped her and her boyfriend like a removal van.

So for her I think she really misses H and wants him back. She’s told me many many times she wants things back to how they used to be. E is also the closest relative that he really has in this country. All his family are in Canada
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #39 on: April 12, 2019, 09:12:45 AM »
Could be he wants to start speaking to her again.

Could be he wants to check up on you.

Could be...

Could be...

Could be...

Doesn't matter. Not changing his behaviour toward you or the kids. Not making him come home. So really it is just making you monkey brain over nothing.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #40 on: April 12, 2019, 09:21:18 AM »
Oh no I know it’s not going to make him come home. Because if that was the case and he wanted that he would be making moves towards me. Not her.

Although I am chuckling at how he worked out I had blocked him. I did it a while ago and he’s retaliated by blocking my old business twitter 🤣
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #41 on: April 16, 2019, 01:42:37 AM »
So today my no contact spell will be over. I’ve had literally no contact with H since Thursday mid morning. When he randomly popped in before we went away. Now the dilemma is, when I’m around H day to day and I physically see him. We get along. We don’t argue. We don’t fight. It’s nice and calm. Exactly how I want it especially around the kids. However, despite there not being stress or tension or whatever when he’s around. When we have no contact. It works so much better for me. I have time to plan my next steps. To get things straight in my head and what not. And whilst I understand I can’t do no contact long term. I will take these short sharp bursts of No contact and use them to my advantage.

Now I know when I say this next bit, you will all roll your eyes think I’m crazy. Hell it might not even make sense to any of you. But it makes sense to me. Now my gut is never wrong. Literally I can’t think of a time it’s been wrong if I’m honest with you and my gut tells me H will want to return to me. Infact deep inside of me, I don’t feel like he won’t want too once he’s journeyed himself through this. Weather I actually let him back depends on many many factors. However, I know there are some things that I’m going to have to do. I expect them to hurt a bit, but at the same time I know once it’s done I’ll be able to move forward. And this probably won’t make any sense to anyone but to me, It makes perfect sense. So a company I used to work with, had an annual business event in London that was always around Hs birthday. So we always coincided both of these and had our weekend away in London every year. It was our thing. Yet his birthday was 2-3 months after BD and we discussed going (before BD ofs!) but never planned and as he had something he wanted to do so we agreed to do it the weekend of his birthday to coincide the two. So he would be doing the thing whilst I was at my business event. Needless to say H went on that trip without me instead taking Ow. I never went to that business event ha! And I’m certain this year for his birthday they also went to London. Now here’s the thing, should H return I know this is something he will more than likely want to do. However I also know that there’s no way I could walk around London with him knowing that the last time he was here was with her. And the last time I went, was with him. Which leads me to my next point 🤣 (you see how my mind is free when I’m away from the crazy ha!) I feel like the only way I could ever contemplate doing this is, if I go to London myself or maybe with some girls friends (I’m leaning more to myself) and make my own memories there. That way I can remember what I did when I was finding myself instead of thinking about what he last did here. What is funny tho is how, from what I’ve seen it appears H hasn’t done any of the things we did or said we would do whilst in London. No London eye. No Houses of Parliament etc etc and no staying in the hotel we used too.

It probably sounds petty but it’s honestly not about being petty. It’s more about bringing myself peace and taking the stressors out before they have chance to appear. So that when the time comes, and I know it will be many many years from now. I’ll be able to firmly put everything from this chapter in a box and leave it there. I don’t want anything to be able to affect my future. Weather that involves H or not. I’ve got to take the control back, otherwise this type of thing could potentially ruin me.

The same goes for the restaurants I missed out of because H couldn’t eat there. I’ll take myself there. The films I wanted to watch but H didn’t. I’ll Netflix them.

I just feel like I’ll have to make a list of things that could affect me and deal with them. Instead of waiting for them to deal with me.

Side note - yesterday I took the kids to see MIL & BIL. I needed to pop to the shop so i asked MIL to watch the kids for me. As I was leaving her house, I noticed by her kitchen door a pile of letters. The top one addressed to me. Now my letter box is one that’s attached to my door. One of those boxes ones. And since H no longer has a key to my house. He also doesn’t have a key to the letter box. So I’m assuming he’s stuck his hand in the letterbox to get letters that would be addressed to him and these are what was addressed to me. I didn’t take the letters and I never mentioned it to MIL or BIL as I’m quite looking forward to seeing how H plays it. Then I’ll drag him to hell for sticking his hands in my letter box.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline Gettingbackup

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #42 on: April 16, 2019, 03:55:28 AM »
I don't think it's petty at all. I think it's really brave and you're being really proactive, not reactive, you're choosing a response instead of being an ostrich and dealing with a situation when forced upon you.

You've given me something to think about. I tried going to places like Brighton with DS  where I had only ever been with H, to build new memories, but this was about four months after BD and was incredibly painful - everywhere I looked I saw H and a happy memory, and haven't been able to repeat that again. I've only gone to new places since. But that's me being controlled by the trauma and not the other way round...

Good on you Sachat!
M42 exH 40 | Met 2001 | Married 2003 | BD1 May 2016 | Final BD Nov 2016 | OW1&2 EAs in 2009. Separated 2 months.
S6 born 2013. Cancer and lost baby 2014.
OW3 PA Dec 2015-May 2016. OW3 broke it off. | OW4 PA from July 2016. OB in March 2019.
Divorce final May 2019.

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #43 on: April 16, 2019, 04:29:42 AM »
Hello,

A lot of what we do only makes sense to us.

Quote
I feel like the only way I could ever contemplate doing this is, if I go to London myself or maybe with some girls friends (I’m leaning more to myself) and make my own memories there. That way I can remember what I did when I was finding myself instead of thinking about what he last did here.

What a great perspective. I always looked at Get a life activities to take your mind off your situation and focus on living so that you did not wallow in your spouses antics. However, your post brings up a good point. Doing things does build positive memories to displace the bad memories. To reflect back on things and places you did will help pave the way- not for him, but for you.

Nice post and good perspective. Hope you have some great times and great memories.

((((hugs))) and more ((((hugs)))

Ready
"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #44 on: April 16, 2019, 06:36:44 AM »
I have done a few of those things already. Going to places or meeting people that were part of H and I shared history... It will be hard and might trigger you but eventually you will get over it.. Even going to the supermarket would trigger me at the beginning! Remembering conversations we had about products or things we would buy and enjoy together  ::)

Just do whatever you think it will help. Regardless if your H returns or not, you don't want things/places "tainted"  ;)
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #45 on: April 16, 2019, 08:40:39 AM »
Hmm sounds like a good idea to be fair.

Our little town is based around one major shopping centre...and everything is up there.

I tend to avoid it most the time because 1.) they both work up there 2.) don't want to run into people he knows for them to report back, 3.) to many memories.

So I can totally get it. But I haven't reclaimed anything yet to be honest. I just avoid it as much as I can.

Perhaps you should stick an ink strip in your letter box so when he reaches in he gets paint stain all over his hand...then tell him you were wondering who was stealing all your mail.  ???
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Shining Star

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #46 on: April 16, 2019, 09:25:06 AM »
I totally get that your intuition tells you he is coming back.  I, too, have started reclaiming places and making my own memories.  I think it is healthy and will help you heal.
H:56, I am 54
BD: March 2014, Left Sept 2014, Back Nov 2014
Left again in February 2015.  Asked for D on 9/22/15
Said he was "sure" he wanted a D in Dec 2015; 
Admitted long term affair - May 14, 2017 - says he is in love with the "symptom" but wants to build a relationship with me with "clear expectations" WHATEVER THAT MEANS!  Settlement Agreement signed 9/20/17.
Divorce final 3/14/18.
NC - by choice - 1/2018

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #47 on: April 16, 2019, 11:46:36 AM »
Well the funny thing is. My intuition tells me he will want to come back. But it depends on so many things. It depends where I am in my journey. Will I have met someone? Will H have got Ow pregnant? Will it take too long? Etc etc. That I can’t tell. Which is why, despite what I think. I have to act as though he isn’t coming back. It’s funny cos I remember Ow Valentine’s Day present 2018 was a trip to Iceland. That is somewhere we said we would go together so I lost my SugarHoneyIceTea at him and told him if he went there with her, he will never go there with me. He’s still yet to take her. However, that’s also another place I sort of need to go too.

It’s almost like emotionally right now, I feel pretty strong. So I feel like I can tackle these things, I know they will probably hurt to address BUT I won’t be able to move forward unless I do address them.

With my “GALING” I’ve mainly done things to push my own boundaries. Like I would never go anywhere alone. It scared me. So I started with a trip to the cinema. Then a meal. Then a weekend in Dublin. Sort of like I’m building a sacha 2.0 🤣

Today was Hs day to have the kids overnight (as it’s not term time). So I was always expecting him to come over around 6 for the kids X Y and Z. Now I had spent most the day in my slobby gear. No makeup etc etc. I point blank refused to waste my makeup just to prove a point. Then my friend came over with some new eyelashes she’s launching. And she asked me to model them for her on Instagram. Couldn’t have come at a better time. Now I had a excuse to be all dolled up when he came to get the kids. D7 saw me doing my makeup and asked if I was going out all night so I used my opportunity and said “don’t worry I’ll be back in the morning when daddy drops you off”. H came over and we discussed money. In a nutshell there’s extra rent money and I assumed H as he pays the rest of my rent what my allowance doesn’t. He would just keep it but he’s said we will stock to the original agreement so there’s extra money about. I said did H want this one for the rent or next packet. He said it was up to me. He then said “you’ll probably want it this week as you’ll be out on Saturday won’t you” nice try pal but I’ve worked out how you fish now and there’s no longer and fish in this pond. So I just said nothing. And he took the kids to his. He also explained that there’s a extra weekend in May that I will have child free as he said his mum is having the kids. However, he showed me the weekend on his work schedule app thing and it’s blocked off as “holiday” so I assume that him and Ow are going away and he’s asked his mum to have the kids. Not sure why, it’s almost like he feels like he has to over compensate but whatever. I’m not looking this gift horse in the mouth.

He still never mentioned my post or the letter box. So I’m now more intrigued as to how he will play it off.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #48 on: April 17, 2019, 01:58:06 PM »
So H agreed to have the kids till dinner time. It was annoying that last night when he collected kids. I was in a rush and didn’t pinpoint a specific time.

This morning I made plans with my best friend (C) C has 3 children too. Similar ages to mine and they all get on well. We decided to go to the park. The one local to me is really good however as it’s so close the kids go  a lot so it gets a bit boring. So we decided to go to a different one. Usually when H brings the kids back around dinner I’ve usually had a lie in and haven’t been up long. Still in Pjs etc etc. However as I had plans when he came over I was fully dressed. He came over first with the things for the kids at around 12:15. He saw me dressed and started asking questions. But instead of saying “Where you going today?” Which I wouldn’t have answered. He said “oh let me guess your going X” and I got defensive and told him where we were going. I could literally see the smirk on his face that I fell for it. But oh well. He also had an anchor check if you will where he said something like “oh but you always come back to me tho” to which I said “no. Don’t think I do pal. Not anymore”. He also showed me a few photos of a new (absolutely vile) tracksuit he’s bought. I mean it’s SO not like anything he used to wear. This is an neon yellow tracksuit with a matching bum bag! I mean WOW. The kids came back and as I was getting everything ready. My pram was stuck so I took it outside and tried opening it up. My @$hole in tinfoil came to my aid as he must have heard me struggling. Me and the kids had such a good day at the park with C and her kids. What’s funny is, and I know this is mean but we saw a horse and right after BD C commented that Ow looked like a horse. I’ve always loved horses. My mum and grandad had horses and as I grew up I was always around them. So I said “I can’t wait to have my own horse. And I know what I’ll call it” at this point C laughed and said OWs name. D7 looked perplexed. Like someone missing out on the joke. And I explained to C that none of my kids know about Ow. C even said “D7 does your daddy have a girlfriend” she’s 8 in a few months so she knows the concept so to speak. To which D7, said “no” C laughed and said “does he not” And D7 then looked at me and said “is it you?” It’s been over a year now and my kids are still none the wiser of Ow existence and for that I’ll always be grateful.

Now also, just for my own giggle really. Me and D7 and D5 have started playing “coin master” so I made D7 and D5 a Facebook so they could play. My instinct said “sacha use D5 Facebook to search Ow” now I haven’t done this in ages but in the past whenever I’ve snooped. There’s always been that urge and I’ve seen something new/interesting/whatever. And I felt this urge deep in my actual stomach. I didn’t want to do it impulsively so I made a cup of tea. Watched one episode of emmerdale. Went back to the phone and I still felt the urge. So yes yes I did it. It didn’t make me angry or hurt it just made me laugh. She changed her profile picture. To a “haha he’s mine” photo of her wearing his hoody. What baffles me is the photo of her is HIDEOUS. I’ve seen other photos of her where she looks better and yet she still chose that one. So I can only assume it was to try and “bait me” or anger me or whatever as a haha I’ve got his jumper. Wow babes, cos I’ve got one of his too in my wardrobe. One you bought him. Shall I make that my profile pic hey? But secondly YET AGAIN she’s changed her relationship start date. A date she used before and one still after BD so it doesn’t matter. I just find it odd that she would keep changing it. If anything it’s making her account look complete BS. I’ve asked H many times (not for a while) when the relationship started. He’s only ever given one date. Never once slipped up. Whereas Ow cycles between three dates. This might sound weird but I feel proud of myself that I’ve got to a point where I can see her name. See her face and I don’t get angry or hurt anymore.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #49 on: April 22, 2019, 02:12:43 AM »
I hope everyone has/is having a lovely Easter.

So Thursday, I did a little bit of game playing and I didn’t even realise. So one of my best girlfriends was having a girls night at her house. Everyone was bringing wine over. The local supermarket had an offer on if you order 6 bottles, so I thought F*ck it. I’ll turn up with 6. This said friend I left a lot of clothes at her house the last time we went out on girls night and I have a very small pull along suitcase. When I say small I mean SMALL. It barely fits two pairs of my shoes in. So I went to her house with the wine in the suitcase so I didn’t have to carry it. On Thursday MIL FIL BIL and H were all at his house so I’m sure someone may have spotted me, leaving with a suitcase. I didn’t even think about that tbh I just was thinking of not wanting to carry 6 bottles of wine and also getting my clothes back easily. But when I got to my friends house her first response was “what will H say” and then I realised it was killing two birds with one stone. We had a very good night and I was home and in bed by 2am.

Saturday - H came for the kids and I had planned to stay in. My back garden is now ridiculously overgrown and neglected so I’ve decided to sort out my back garden and drive way. But I first popped out for a bacon and egg sandwich from the cafe. Foolishly as I had my hands full I didn’t lock my door after me (this familiar to my thread will know what happened 10 minutes later!) H came in for D5s iPad which apparently she dropped down the side of the sofa. So I got it for her. H then commented “oh have you been out for a bacon butty” no $h!t Sherlock! When he left I locked the door behind him. About a hour later, he knocked on wanting some sandals for D2. In fairness I didn’t pack any for her. He then went out....which I’m quite impressed with this as this is the second time when he’s had the kids he’s taken them out. He usually just buys them a load of toys and takes them to play at his house. Whereas now he’s started doing things with them ie feeding the ducks, feeding squirrels going to the park etc etc. So I guess that’s a positive. But on Saturday he went to visit his mum at her work as her work have got some chickens that have chicks ready to hatch. So he’s been there. What is funny is, on Friday I took the kids to the shops and we got some gardening stuff as my aim for the next few weeks is to get the gardens front and back sorted for summer. Now maybe the kids mentioned something but I never told anyone on Saturday I was gardening as H came back from his mums work with a strimmer to do his garden. In all honesty we had a good day. We also had a mass water fight. Was a very nice day in all fairness. H completely soaked me with the hose what’s funny is as he was getting me, BIL had peaked from the door. And h didn’t seem to care. I then had to go in and get changed. I complained (jokingly) H had ruined my only pair of shorts. Next thing I know H is at mine with some shorts. I made a comment about having one of his football shirts still. I gave it him back and said “everything else is stored away in a box” H replied “oh is that for the day I come back cos every day you want me to come back” I laughed and said “no I’m saving them for bonfire night”. H them took the kids shop and said “I would buy you a bottle of wine but I’m sure you’ve got enough” I do have a few bottles in my fridge and also my friends tagged me in things on social media about the suitcase of wine so he probably saw that. Kids went back to Hs as they had spent a lot of time flitting between the two houses but as I was leaving for my Chinese food I heard one of the girls scream really loud and mama bear couldn’t help but go and see if she was okay. Turns out it was just a wasp in the house. H then saw I was dressed and asked if I was going out. I never answered him. Off I went for my Chinese and whatnot. I think I gave myself sunstroke to some extent as I had taken my tanning tablets and spent most of the day outside in coconut oil drinking fizzy pop! Because come 9pm I was so poorly I went to bed. I won’t lie it was awful. I woke up so many times during the night needing water and paracetamol.

Sunday - h came for the girls at 8:30am as agreed. He has been adamant it was 8:30 and I just assumed he had plans. Never expected him to work as he’s always been against working bank holidays. But when he came over he was in his work uniform so I said “oh your working?” He replied saying “I’ve told you before. I’m working a few hours then I have an event” now I know he didn’t give much info BUT it’s been the biggest amount of info he’s probably given in a very long time. I never asked for it. He noticed I wasn’t well so he gave me some of his pain killers. Still over the counter stuff but better than my 29p paracetamol haha.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2019, 02:14:31 AM by sachat3 »
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #50 on: April 22, 2019, 07:40:42 AM »
This guy has to be the clingiest clinger of the clingons.  ::)

Might as well just cut a hole through the wall so he has direct access.  ;D
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #51 on: April 22, 2019, 08:33:11 AM »
He really really is! I may have to change his name to Clingon clinton in my phone.

I remember right at the start when I was looking for “what type of MLCer was he” I was with one friend and we were both on FaceTime to another. When my friend got to the clinging boomerang we all went “Yep that’s him to a T”.

It really is so draining because, I have to constantly remember the smallest of things. Like remembering to lock my door. And I could use that door a fair few times in a day. I think that’s why whenever I go away it’s so refreshing to have no contact whatsoever. It’s not just a holiday for the kids. It’s a break from him. We probably won’t see him till tomorrow and haven’t seen nor heard from him since yesterday so again it’s like a little break for me.


Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #52 on: April 23, 2019, 02:47:23 PM »
Clingy Mclington strikes again

So today is Hs day to have the kids. In fact moving forward I’ll refer to H as Clington 🤣 so it’s his day but he’s working so we don’t see him till 6pm. As soon as he opened the door - I left it open as I was expecting him and I was doing the dishes. I shouted “KIIIDS” and he just looked at me in a disappointment kinda way and said “right okay then” (hello! Your seeing your kids. I’m calling them!) the PJs were already piled by the door and he said he was a set missing. I hadn’t even looked as I knew it was D5/ as she had been messing with hers. So I called her for them. He then took the kids to his for a few hours per our agreement. He was asking the most basic questions like “when I bath them should I put D2s cream on?” Yes clington she has eczema she needs it all the time.

Now on Saturday I noticed a huge ikea cube storage unit in the garage. It used to be mine and Clingtons but we gave it FIL for the garage (technically our garage but that’s a different story but it was his aaaaanyway) and I’ve been looking for one for the kids toys in the living room. However I was looking second hand as I was not paying ikea prices. So I debated with myself and I asked H if I could have it. Usually H would fob me off and be like “yeah I’ll get it next week” he’s a qualified plasterer but still most of my house needs plastering - even the bits that needed doing when he lived here! but as soon as I asked he got it there and then. So whilst he had the kids I sat smugly as this was a 16 cube unit and I saved myself £200. I did need to buy some boxes from eBay but it’ll look sweet soon. And whilst clington had the kids I cleaned it up and rearranged my living room. I’m so happy with myself to have it as the bottom 4 can be toy storage that doesn’t look toy storagey - parents you know what I mean ha! But I can use the other cube bits for books and ornaments and pretty things!

Clington also said that Thursday (his day for the kids) he’s off all day. Yay for me! But he might be off Friday also so if I wanted the kids could stay at his overnight - id always  said no to this due to school however he’s saying he will get them ready for school and take them school etc etc. Now I know it’s partly him trying to push his boundaries but I’m also conflicted about what to do. He did also say “but if you don’t want them to I totally respect that”. Suggestions would be helpful. This is likely a very rare occasion as he tends to work 4 on 4 off. He does do overtime so it’s unlikely he’ll get Thursday and Friday off both together for a while again.

I managed somehow in moving my TV to snap the HDMI to the sky box. It’s always been weak and temperamental as the kids are always playing with it and we’ve had it years. So I ordered one of eBay but it won’t be here for a few days so H gave us one for the time being.

Once the kids were in bed I started doing my “things” around the house before catching up on my soaps. Yuno the dishes. Cleaning etc etc. It’s bin day tomorrow so I went out and put the bins out. As I’m on my last bin H comes out, and he’s sorting the boot of his car out. He was wearing shoes and everything. So I expected him to be going out. As I walked past him he said something I didn’t catch. So I said “what” I could hear mumbling but not make it out. So I walk back up and said “what?” Now I know the old clington this would have frustrated the $h!t out of him and he just said really calmly “I didn’t realise how much $h!t I had in my boot” I didn’t respond and just walked in my house. I made a brew and went to watch the soaps. As I’m making my second brew about a hour later I noticed Hs car hasn’t moved. So he never even went out. He must have just noticed I was out and decided then to “fiddle” in his car.

Roll on Thursday for the next instalment of clington.
Me - 27
H - 34
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Together - almost 8 years

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Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #53 on: April 24, 2019, 03:28:43 AM »
I think I found a photo of him too......

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #54 on: April 24, 2019, 04:30:39 AM »
Urs - have you managed to get into his completely locked down social media and get a new selfie. The resemblance  is uncanny!
Me - 27
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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #55 on: April 24, 2019, 05:35:32 AM »
To funny Ursa.  :D

For what it's worth, I think you have to decide how important the overnight thing is. If you want to maintain that as a constant boundary then you can't let it slide because it is convenient if you know what I mean. Because all that does is (like a teenager) teach him the rules are bendable, and it will bite you in the butt later. If it is a bendable thing, that you really don't care THAT much about...then by all means.. but just know that it will come up again in the future.

You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #56 on: April 24, 2019, 05:58:39 AM »
Well this is the issue I have with clington. I know it’s partly him trying to push and push. The same way my 7 year old does when I tell her it’s time for bed.

However, if he has work the next day then it’s an absolute no go! Because the kids will be woken up a fair few hours earlier which isn’t fair when they have a full day of school. But when it’s not school etc next day. It’s more debatable. But if he’s taking them school etc it’s not so bad. But I also don’t want him trying it all the time. So it’s very much catch 22. I must admit I’m leaning more towards saying no. It’s not like I “need” the free time. I’m free from school run in the morning until 8pm anyway so if I did need something to do I could do then.
Me - 27
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Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #57 on: April 25, 2019, 02:13:25 PM »
Well good ol clington is doing his clington things the way clington knows how 🤣

One thing that did shock me is when I woke up this morning and opened the blinds. I noticed Hs car was on the drive so he didn’t stay out with Ow. Which is unusual. For the past week or so he’s only been staying (from what I’ve seen) on the Friday. I can’t be too sure because I don’t “check” when he comes home and I’ll only notice in the morning if he’s not working as he’s up before me so I won’t see. But I guess that’s a positive for me that I’ve stopped checking. It hadn’t been a conscious decision to stop checking or anything. I guess I just stopped feeling the need to check.

So clington comes over for the school run. He comes in the house and is here a few minutes. He then pops out for about 5 minutes and comes back with one of the pretty 50ps. Now when I saw it and realised what it was. I swear my heart actually stopped beating. I was telling my face “don’t be excited. Don’t let him see” because I’m a massive massive MASSIVE WW1&2 and modern history geek. Like a huge one. And this 50p was a Victoria cross one. So I was very happy. Clington would have also known all this information too!

He then took D5 and D7 to school. He left D2 here with me so he could just go straight there and back. I mean I don’t blame him. If I could do the school run without her I would. Within a minute or him collecting D2. I had to force him out because my bus was there. So we both kinda left in a rush. Lucky there was traffic so I managed to jump on the bus.

I went out, met a friend, had breakfast, got my nails done did some shopping etc etc. A nice chilled time and I came home around 1pm. It’s annoying because clington and MIL have their car parked on my drive as FIL is coming so they are making room for his van etc. They used to do this a lot when he lived here but now it’s just annoying! I don’t mind one car on my drive as I’ve always asked for one on but there was no need for both! When I was back in the house I noticed the bag that I left for clington with things for the girls for today PJs (he’s not having them overnight but is bathing them) clothes for D2. Nappies etc. That was still on the side so I guess in the rush he forgot the bag. Which is annoying. 

I then start scrubbing the house and in the post I had one of those charity bag things where they ask for clothes. So I filled a few bags of the girls clothes, my clothes etc etc. Whilst I was cleaning I had my headphones on and the door was locked. I then went out and put one bin bag at the end of the drive. I then went back upstairs for the others. Now I bet you can all guess what happened next right? So I put two more outside and as I’m walking from my kitchen to the hall for more bags (I had 5 in total!) guess who walks in. Clington

Clington - “oh your alive then?”
Me - “why wouldn’t I be alive?”
Clington - “oh well I was banging and banging on the door 20-25 minutes ago and nothing”
Me - “oh I was cleaning and had music on. What do you want?”
Clington - “I need nappies. Are they staying here (meaning my house)tonight?”
Me - “I gave you nappies in the bag and yes they are”
Clington - “you gave me two”
Me - “I gave you more in the coop bag. You left it. Remember to take it next time”

I then gave him the bag. He grabbed his post from the side. And something made him realise my nails (they are illuminous yellow on 4 fingers and glitter on another) it’s one of the new colours the nail shop had so I’ve never had them before and H grabbed my hand. Looked at my nail and smiled. I just give a “oh okay look” not on purpose but just because it was so bizarre.

We then had a bit of a laugh about money as a letter came for his pension. So I made a joke and said “oh and I’m the sole carer of your three dependants go me” then he was laughing about the money he pays for me. He only actually spoke about the rent not all the other bills he pays ha!

He also saw a notification on my phone for the game coin master that he knows I play and started talking about how it’s a good game and he plays it too. He then said “shame I can’t send you stuff because I blocked you” meaning he blocked me on Facebook. He deactivated Facebook a while ago so if he did block me. He’s reactivated just to block me. D7 and D5 have Facebook and I searched him to see if he did have Facebook to block from their Facebook. Just because he may post Ow and I don’t want them seeing that and we couldn’t find him so he isn’t using Facebook. But it’s funny because he felt the need to be “I blocked you” in a toy for tat as I blocked him on twitter and Instagram ages ago. I’m really not bothered if he has blocked me. If anything that stops him seeing what I post as even if he unblocked me. He’s no longer a Facebook friend and would only be able to see my profile pic ha!. 

H brings the girls things back at 7:30 and he looks very poorly. Doesn’t look too great.

Kids come back at 8. H still doesn’t look great a brief chat. Then H leaves and I put kids to bed.

What is funny to note, is actually FIL and MIL aren’t home. They were home earlier in the day. MIL parked her car on my drive as she is away at her cottage this weekend and she went in FIL work van so it would be interesting to see if Clington still parks on my drive as the only reason he was still parking there was because I asked him to, well I asked anyone too. Just because I thought it would look like someone was in and it makes me feel safer at night.

What is good to note, is when H bought the kids back D7 was telling me how they are going to the new pet shop as they have a rabbit day on Saturday so they are going to go and see the rabbits. Now it’s not a major change or anything but it’s really nice that actually he’s doing things with them. I mean it was only a few weeks ago when his time spent with the kids was going to a Toy shop, spending a load of money on toys and playing in the front room at his house. Whereas now they are doing things. Not huge all day long things but just small bursts of things, like a trip to the park, feeding the ducks at the water park, going on a woodland walk to feed squirrels. So now he’s actually spending time with the kids. Which is nice for them and atleast my house isn’t being clogged up with crap toys!
« Last Edit: April 25, 2019, 02:22:03 PM by sachat3 »
Me - 27
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3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #58 on: April 26, 2019, 09:12:15 AM »
Maybe you can get a list from Clington that I can give to Beast so he can get the F out of my house on a Wed.  ;D
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #59 on: April 26, 2019, 11:43:23 AM »
Yes Morte I will get Clington to give Beast a list as long as Beast gives Clington a list of all the reasons NOT to pop into my house 🤣🤣

When I woke up this morning Clington had sorted the car situation as I was opening D7s bedroom curtains. MILs car was now parked back on his drive 🤷🏻‍♀️ looks like H is the one staying on my drive.

So last night H mentioned he might do the school run. He would see how he felt. Low and behold just before 8:30 he’s fully dressed and ready for the school run. The girls were eager to get going to school and if they left when they wanted would have been around 15-20 minutes early so Clington kept saying “oh just wait a minute” but I was just carrying on with my morning. I kind of viewed him as the tap in my kitchen. He was there but I didn’t need to notice it unless it made its presence really known.

D2 was staying home with me and as they had left for school she kicked off big style. Clington mentioned something to her along the lines of “I’ll be back in a minute”. Needless to say Clington never returned. Lucky for him she doesn’t understand what you say so she wasn’t waiting for him. Friday is his day to do whatever he wishes. So at around 10-11 I went to make a cup of tea and noticed that his car was gone. So I assumed, he was doing his thing and we would see him tomorrow morning per our schedule. I put D2 down for a nap at 12 and sat down to watch last nights Emmerdale with a cup of tea. As I was watching it, I was debating eating the kids Easter eggs. Next thing I know, at my living room door is Clington. He starts walking back into the kitchen and says “Do you want this?” So I follow, he’s been to Sainsbury’s and he’s picked up the kids another Easter egg and he picked me up a  peanut M&Ms Easter egg. I mean I LOVE peanut M&Ms so I won’t say no but those moments where you just think WTF? I also noticed a big Easter egg in his bag (it was showing at the top) and he starts telling me how he only paid £1 for it as they are all reduced. My guess is that egg is for Ow. But how nice of him to tell buy her a reduced one 🤣. He’s also picked the kids up some milkshakes.  he then says “Do you want me to get the kids from school for you?” So I said “for me?” He then says “yeah for you. Saves you going out in this rain with D2” to which I replied “they are your children and it’s your day. If you want to get them from school. Get them. If not. I will” he then agreed he would go. Off he goes and I go back to my TV. Around 3pm he’s back and makes a comment how D2 won’t sleep now as she was still asleep. I explained this is her nap. 12-3 and she always sleeps fine. I then being a bit mean, began singing east 17 - stay another day. Taking the mick of his coat. I mean if he had told me he got it off eBay as a prop from the music video. I would have believed him. If nothing in his life says MLC this bloody coat does 🤣. Kids come back from school and there’s a brief chat about what they have done X Y and Z. Now Clington usually is straight in his car and off to Ow. As time really is of the essence on Fridays ha! But at 4:20 he was still at his house. I was in the kitchen reaching for a cup from my cupboard and H has opened the door really quietly and shouted “RAR” to scare me. I then asked what he was doing and he said “I just came to scare you” yeah ok cos that’s normal. He was then saying bye to the kids again and off he goes.

At some point whilst he was here, I can’t remember when he mentioned I should have taken a pic with his “Yeezy” trainers and my new nails for Instagram. I literally could have been blown down with a feather. Clington must be confusing me with someone else, I don’t go around pretending to be someone else on social media. Although I am now battling with myself to NOT post my new Easter egg and caption it “Wow. Don’t I just have the best ex ever. He still comes and buys me Easter eggs! So sweet. Thankyou Clington”
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #60 on: April 26, 2019, 02:28:07 PM »
Yes Morte I will get Clington to give Beast a list as long as Beast gives Clington a list of all the reasons NOT to pop into my house 🤣🤣

MLCer reasons to NOT pop into the house.

1. To much responsibility there. No fun or freedom to be found.
2. My kids will look at me with big sad eyes because they miss me, and I will feel guilty.
3. My spouse will look at me with big sad eyes because they miss me, and I will feel guilty.
4. My spouse will NOT look at me with big sad eyes and I will know they DON'T miss me. Not sure I can handle that one.
5. Those hidden niggley feelings may resurface and make me miss home and question what I have done.
6. I will look around MY house and see all the things my spouse has changed without consulting me. How dare they.
7. I will see evidence around that PROVES my spouse is seeing someone else. How dare they.
8. I will look around and all my pictures will be gone and it will make me sad.
9. I may have to face a relationship talk and actually be expected to give an answer.
10. My spouse has cooties.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #61 on: April 26, 2019, 02:43:02 PM »
Hahahaha Morte, I’m so printing that and putting it somewhere for him to see 🤣 hopefully I then won’t need to do one million checks to make sure my house is locked and double locked. It’s like that joke that’s going around “open your window for a bit in summer and the cast of bugs life appear in your room”

“Forget to lock your door and your ex will be standing in your kitchen” 🤣


Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
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Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #62 on: April 28, 2019, 06:06:10 AM »
So Clington comes over at 9ish to get the kids. Again the usual brief chat. I explain that D5 has two parties today so I needed her back at 10:30am for the first one. I’d have her back by 1 and then need her back by 4:30ish. For the second party.

Potentially Clington could have taken her but 1) D5 specifically wanted me too but 2) only D5 was invited to the party and I didn’t want Clington bringing D2 and D7 to the party. Whilst they would have been welcome more than likely I’m trying to get them to understand when the invite is for D2. Only D2 goes to a patty and they need to understand. When it’s D5 turn only she goes. Etc etc. Unless I really can’t avoid it. I try and avoid taking the others when not invited. So Clington needed to have D2 and D7. Whilst I was at the party with D5. He then notices a dominoes box on my kitchen side and started to tell me all about a massive blip that was on the dominoes website that he saw on twitter. Me and the kids had a nice family movie night with dominoes. This is something I did after Bd but it somehow stopped until Friday night.

Before the first party I popped to the shops. I was returning home around 10:15 and saw Clington stood in his kitchen waiting for me. D5 then opens the kitchen door and comes out to get ready. She’s very eager. So she comes with me. This was a superhero party and we were both dressed up. I got Clington to take a picture for me of me and D5. What I hadn’t had time to pack the overnight stuff for the kids and I told Clington I would get them to him during the day.  For me I have a birthday box, it’s basically a box fill of cards, toys, craft things etc etc that are reduced in shops. So I pick them up pop them in the box so that there is always presents and cards around for the last minute parties. So I’m hunting in this box for a present for the party etc etc. Whilst I was doing this I didn’t notice Clington in the clean washing basket. As I’m wrapping the present I ask what he’s doing and he said “Getting the Pjs” I said “I told you I would do it” he then explains that he would do it as I’m wrapping the present. Pictures taken. Presents wrapped off me and D5 go to the party. It’s only about 5 minute walk from the house. But it was raining and Clington seems to have an issue with me being in his car so I didn’t ask for a lift. As we are walking he drives past. Beeps his horn and asks if we want a lift. And I ain’t looking a gift horse in its mouth. So I agree. He drops us at the party. Me and D5 have a blast. Another mum offers to drive us home as it’s still raining so she pulls up in the drive and Clington is waiting for us. I have a brief chat with Clington.

What’s funny is there was a dad at this party that is absolutely gorgeous. I’m talking a 20/10 man ladies. And I was having a chat at the party with him. He was telling me how he did the Manchester marathon and he regularly does park run. I was laughing as Ow also does Park runs. D5 then says that I was talking to Xs Dad. So jokingly I say (because I enjoy watching him sweat clearly) “oh yeah I’m now starting to do Park Run” at this point the colour is draining from his face, but he’s doing that thing where he’s trying to act calm. And he says “I do park run” I wasn’t aware he does park run. I knew he’s done the odd one BUT park runs tend to be at 10am Saturday and he’s been collecting the kids before this for a very long time so I know he hasn’t done park run in a while. We also live across the road from a big park which hosts park runs. So I said “awww We will go and cheer you on and I’ll talk to Xs dad” Clington then says “you wouldn’t cheer me on” so I say “no I wouldn’t. The kids can and I’ll talk to Xs dad” to which Clington replies “I don’t do park run around here anyway” which to me, seems so alien. I mean I don’t doubt he avoids having Ow around here but still. So Clington....you enjoy your new running hobby and decide you wish to do park run but the park run that is within 10 minutes walking distance you don’t do? You would rather travel elsewhere to do it. Makes perfect sense. He then told me I could volunteer at these events as everyone at these events talks to one another and you get to know them etc. So I’m laughing inside thinking could you imagine Ow face as she’s finishing the finish line and I’m there telling her her time etc 🤣🤣🤣 that would be picture perfect. There was a bit of a silence and I took that as my moment to say bye to the kids and go to leave and Clington says “Do you remember the last time you wore that?” (Meaning my super girl costume!) so I said “Yeah....for x child’s birthday party” and he then said “Yeah and do you remember what happened after the party?” This party was many many months ago. We’re talking early-mid 2018!!! So easily easily a good 9-10 months from now. And we were intimate that evening. So I laughed and said “awww do you have a little black book of all the times” and he laughed and said “says you, you know when we have” and I just mentioned that I didn’t but could work it out as to what days he’s not here and when he is.

Off I go to my house to get changed. Clington appears in my bedroom and scares me. At this point I’m struggling to get my shoes off and have been for a while. So Clington offers to take them off. I think about it for a second and agree. He implies he wants to be intimate and then in the next breath says “oh your not doing that are you?” So I said “No I’m not. I’m not giving relationship benefits to someone I’m not in a relationship with” which aggravates him and he leaves. I get changed go out and come back for D5.I can’t remember what now but he did something to annoy me so I was blunt with him which caused 10203030282 questions about what he had done to annoy me.

Me and D5 go to the party and come back around 7:30. I was invited for a few drinks at my friend S’s all day I had been debating weather to go or not. But I decided I would. So I drop D5 off. Whilst at his he explains that D2 is struggling to settle. I didn’t know why. So I Go home. Book my taxi to S’s. Quickly get ready and I notice that she’s left a teddy at mine so I run to his house to give her the teddy. I then give D2 a kiss as she’s in bed. At this moment my phone rings (it’s the taxi company to say my ride is outside) so I leave and Clington watches me get in a taxi. HAAAAAA. This is me GALing dear boy. I come home around 12 and head straight to bed.

I can’t remember at what point, but at some point I joke with Clington that I saw his ex before me and her daughter. We’ve always joked (well I’ve joked at him) that his ex’s daughter was his secret child. She’s not but it’s been a long standing joke for a while now. So I was joking with him that I saw his other child. He said “she’s not mine” to which I say “Hey you have a thing for returning to ex’s don’t you and the kid would have been conceived when we were together so yuno” to which he replied deadly serious “I never go to an ex for sex” really Clington? REAAAAALLLY! What am I then? 🤣

He comes over with the kids around 9am as agreed. Again we have a brief chat. General kid hand over chit chat. We now won’t see/hear from him until Tuesday which is honestly more than fine by me. I need a break for the life and times of Clington mcclingy. It’s so bizarre that when he’s around he is clinging with a capital C. But when he’s not. He’s borderline Vanisher (for that day it so!)
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #63 on: April 28, 2019, 01:38:05 PM »
Mine was the same for the longest time. Stuck in my house for 8 hours, or didn't hear from him at all.  ::)

I thought as it went on he might lean toward vanishing a bit more and more...but actually the longest he has ever disappeared was the 3 weeks right before xmas year before last.

Every since then he doesn't go more then a day or two without finding something he needs to talk to me about. ;)

But honestly reading that update was making my head spin.

Really need to actually lock your door.  :o

You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #64 on: April 29, 2019, 02:56:40 AM »
Hey if reading it makes your head spin imagine what it does to mine living it. This is the annoying thing because it’s the side kitchen door that is used SO much. So i could lock it 9/10 and the one time I don’t lock it. He’s in. Which makes me think he must “check it” and not bother when it’s locked. But it’s getting into the habit as it’s always been unlocked. Most days I would leave it unlocked when I do the school run. It’s probably unlocked now but he’s at work ha!

Yeah I started thinking he would vanish. We don’t really have much contact via text etc. He blocked me on WhatsApp ha! But I suspect there’s no talk on text etc because his phone is watched. But when he’s here. It’s very different. So lucky for me. It’s only clinger Tuesday Thursdays Saturdays and every other Sunday. Or when we change days like we are this weekend. So it’ll be Tuesday Thursday Friday. The rest of the time there is no contact so I’m free until 6pm tomorrow.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #65 on: April 29, 2019, 03:18:55 AM »
Quote from: sachat3
Although I am now battling with myself to NOT post my new Easter egg and caption it “Wow. Don’t I just have the best ex ever. He still comes and buys me Easter eggs! So sweet. Thankyou Clington”

And then watch OW's head explode....

Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #66 on: April 29, 2019, 03:55:07 AM »
Well this is it Ursa I know as a general rule H is easy to manipulate. He very much believes every word you say. So I know she could tell him “no I don’t stalk Sacha’s Instagram” but it’s clear she does.

We had a similar incident at Xmas. I went over to his mums to watch the kids open their presents and as MiL bought the girls a big LOL. I took a picture of them with it. And you could see half of his leg and foot in the photo. I genuinely didn’t realise straight away. It was only once Clington was making vague comments and I was telling my friends in RL and they said “isn’t that his leg” and I realised what the issue was. But I’m not apologising for accidentally catching him in a photo OF MY KIDS!!

But I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when she realised what’s what. But I was very good and I didn’t even upload a pic. Go me! I do also wonder if it’s a test from him to see if I will wind her up because he will clearly see her digs online.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2019, 03:56:23 AM by sachat3 »
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #67 on: April 30, 2019, 03:20:30 PM »
It’s funny how I can be so on edge knowing I’m going to see Clington. My day was really peaceful until around 4pm when it dawned on me that within two hours Clington would be here.

He came over around 6pm for the kids. He stayed in the kitchen. No wandering around the house like he owns it. Sacha’s boundaries 1 - Clington 0! I didn’t say anything to him. Not in a rude or blunt way but merely in a “there is nothing I need to tell you so I won’t say anything” type of way. Which prompted him to ask what was wrong. I said nothing. He seemed like he didn’t believe what I said but hey. He then starts asking questions about D7 party she attended on Sunday. To which I thought, “Yuno if you were that bothered you could have text to ask” because quite frankly, she’s 7. The party was over 48 hours ago. She can barely remember what she did in school today let alone 2 days ago. But I let D7 answer.

He then took the kids over to his and I enjoyed my two hours child free. Here’s where I wanted to kick the universe up it’s bum! So I was debating what to do because I only had two hours. I decided to attack my ironing pile and cleaning so that tomorrow once I’ve dropped D5 and D7 at school I have a day with D2 and we could go to the park. So I blitz the house. Finish my ironing and go to make a cuppa tea and realise my kettle is broke (!!!!!). When Clington brings the kids back I ask if he has a fuse as FIL and H collect these kinda things in the garage. He gets a fuse. Nope. It’s not the fuse. The kettle is broke. In fairness it was a cheap one and we’ve had it pretty much since we moved in I think. So it’s lasted long! But that means my nice morning with D2 is ruined as I will need to go shopping! Dang it.

We had a brief general chat about party invites the kids have, hand over plans etc etc. All very kid related. He then says “Right I best go get the kebabs” and proceeds to tell me how his mum and Brother want a takeaway and he’s going to get it. Which makes me laugh cow it’s always Clington going for things. Both BIL and MIL drive and Clington won’t eat a kebab so why is he going? But secondly. That’s yet another occasion where he’s started giving me more of an insight into what he’s doing and why. He then must have realised I really didn’t care about the kebab run and he said “Just so when you see my car isn’t here you won’t think I’m taking the p!ss” so I said “why would I think that?” He then went on to explain its my night not his blah blah blah. So I just said that once 8pm comes and the kids are in bed I don’t care what he does.

Once I had finished watching my TV for the evening As I was getting ready to do the bins I noticed Clingtons car was flashing like it’s just been locked. So I waited a minute. Grabbed a coat. Then started putting my bins out. Hoping I’ve just missed him. How wrong was I. As I’m walking back from my drive to get the second bin that needs putting out I could see a figure stood in the kitchen doorway at Clingtons. Next thing I know, he’s out putting their bins out. Which isn’t normal as the unwritten rule we have is whoever is first to put the bins out puts both sides out. Same with bringing them in. So because my bins were out and he was doing his I head back inside. Just as I close the door I hear him say something. So I ask what he said and again he’s asking if I’m okay. Again I just replied “yes” not “yeah I’m fine thanks are you?”

So now I’m wondering if he’s asking if I’m okay because he’s noticing a change and wanting to know if I’m okay OR if it’s because he wants me to ask if he’s okay? Either way I’ve never asked “yeah you?” 

What I have also noticed is H seems to be focusing ALOT on the past. And it’s never really struck me bit by bit, but I’ve just noticed it today. A few examples are he’s been saying things like “Can’t believe D2 is going to be 3 soon. I still remember when X” he recently bought a Xbox One. Not the most recent model or anything. But the same one he had when we were together. But like most things. He had to sell it because we were so skint. Then today Clingtons cousin E sent me a tweet he tweeted where he basically was asking Apple to remake the iPhone 5C he had because in his words “it was the best phone he ever had” when At the time he didn’t like the phone and only had it a matter of months before getting a different phone. Again we probably sold it to pay bills as when we were together we were skint! Even the music he’s listening too, isn’t “today’s” music. It seems to be old music from the Time we were dating. I know they aren’t really much but I just find it so bizarre that he seems to be regressing or whatever.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #68 on: May 01, 2019, 03:20:45 AM »
Wow okay! So just to set the scene.

March 2018 - Clington had Ow in his house. She took a selfie and uploaded it. I won’t lie I KICKED OFF. He then spent the night at my house. Even sleeping top to tail in my bed fully clothed (including shoes 🤣) we just argued so much we crashed out. Anyway, Ow must have realised as this put her on a flurry of angry quotes online. Starting with “when you know his whole story is fraudulent but you let him finish before dragging him to hell”. Then came the “fake tan is literally the most offensive thing in the world” (direct dig at me!)
July 2018 - she uploaded a pic using a tanning accelerator oil. One that’s mainly used for sun beds. However she was going abroad so I assume she used in the sun. But I did laugh.
Since then there was many many quotes about how bad fake tan is. Around November December these quotes stopped and I was sent a selfie of Ow where she was dressed almost identical to me a few weeks before hand however it was clear she was wearing fake tan.

Now my Instagram is open. Which I know makes it easy to stalk which is why I am VERY selective about what I upload. I use my Instagram to promote my own spray tan hair and beauty business and also I often get asked to review products such as fake tan, eyelashes makeup etc. Hence why it’s open. I tried having it private but I just wasn’t getting as much customers etc so it’s a price I’m willing to pay

When I started promoting eyelashes Ow suddenly started wearing them in her pics.

I upload my acrylic nails. She starts getting acrylic nails and similar colours to me.

Then a few weeks ago she uploaded a pic of a fake tan delivery she had. This isn’t a tan I like. I was asked on my social media what my views on this particular brand were and I was honest and said I didn’t like it. I’ve said this before and after her post.

Then I was asked to review a very specific brand of self tan. This tan was sold out online and so I was asked to direct people to the shop where you can buy it (Primark in Manchester) I agreed to do the review on my Instagram and told people it was sold out but where they could get it. I uploaded a photo of just the bag where I said something like “can’t wait to show you guys what I’ve got!” Then 48 hours later I uploaded my review. This was at the start of April.

Fast forward to today and my friend noticed Ow has uploaded a photo of the very same fake tan I reviewed. EVEN TAKING A PICTURE OF THE BAG THE SAME WAY I DID. And she’s captioned it “when it’s his day off so you send him to fetch your fake tan #mustbelove”.

I’m honestly flabbergasted. Like I always knew she stalked my Instagram and she’s probably behind one of the many fake Facebook adds I get daily. But I’m shocked that Clington even goes along with it. Well I say goes along with it. Who knows he could be saying “Hey Ow, can you use this fake tan because sacha did and I saw her today and the colour was amazing!”

I still haven’t done any kind of rebuttal online. Or anything. Not even hinting I know that she’s copying me. I haven’t done this for months and I honestly assumed that she would have got bored by now! Evidently not.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online One day at a time

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #69 on: May 01, 2019, 08:21:26 AM »
I wouldn't engage in any online games with OW, how would that serve you? If she's copying you, it shows she's insecure and lacks substance.. Why would you go down to her level?

As for Clington, I think you are doing the right thing.. No need to be rude or dismissive but the constant interactions, chit chat, hanging around the house, etc is probably not very helpful for you.. It's nearly as if it has become the new normal maybe? We are all different off course so we all have different ways of dealing with MLC but from the outside, it still looks like you have some sort of strange relationship with him.. Right now, he's the father of your children, that's it and he needs to get that message loud and clear.

The fact that he lives next door certainly doesn't help because he can keep an eye on you all the time. I'm with Morte, lock your door, make a point of it. You are allowing him to go into the house when he pleases. You might have put a boundary but you are sending mixed signals by leaving the door open. Your words say he can't go in but your actions are letting him.
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #70 on: May 01, 2019, 08:37:39 AM »
Oh no I have NO intention of engaging in any tit for tat or whatever online because quite frankly it’s more than likely what she wants. But then I do know that I’ve uploaded quotes before that she seems to take offence to. Even ones not even aimed at her. So I just leave her to it. But it’s been AGES now since I’ve even attempted to wind her up. I would have thought she would be bored by now! Posting and posting but not getting a response!

I wouldn’t mind, but I’m very smart and selective about what I put online. I post selfies, the odd quote or business related posts. Only when I need a bit of interaction on my page will I upload a general day to day type thing but that’s only when I have a offer or something coming just to build engagement. So looking at my social media you can’t tell anything about my life. So I’m literally one of the worst people to stalk. Yet she still does.

I know with the door because we live in a real nice area where everyone knows everyone. I’ve never really locked that door during the day. Some days I even do the school run or pop to the shops and leave it unlocked. Which I know it’s not helpful. And when I can remember to lock it I do it’s just getting it to become a habit so to speak.


Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #71 on: May 01, 2019, 02:55:22 PM »
I mean...if it wasn't for your business account you could write up a sparkling review on the worst tan you ever had. Put in something like ''Slather extra on so that you get a nice smooth even tan, and you don't even need a mitt because it has evening technology that prevents stains''

Then watch as she has black hands, tan creases, and turns oranger than Donald Trump.

You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #72 on: May 01, 2019, 03:05:18 PM »
Honestly it’s just so weird. He knew I bought that tan Aswell. It’s the one from a few weeks ago where he said he’s tan my back. So either she sent him specifically for that tan or he’s suggested it. Just so beyond firetrucked up.

It’s annoying because I made this Instagram brand new. Blocked Ow. No one knew it existed until one of my posts went viral and a meme page Ow follows shared the message and tagged me in it. Funnily enough, it was from a girl asking me to turn her cheating BF green and Clington  got so much stick because people thought it was him 🤣 but had the viral post not gone viral she wouldn’t have known about this new insta I had. But then at the same time it did my business the world of good!

I do often wonder about doing a good old fake review and watching her squirm. Or just raving about a really rubbish tan for her to try. I mean I’d never publicly make it clear it was for her because that would just feed her but boy I so would love to be a fly on her bedroom wall each time I upload something!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #73 on: May 02, 2019, 04:00:00 AM »
there have been more than a few posters here whose Mid-Lifers have tried to turn the AD into a carbon copy of the LBS or have tried to become a carbon copy themselves... IIRC, there was even one who is going to law school now (the AD is SIGNIFICANTLY younger than the LBS who is a qualified attorney) so she (the AD) can be just like the LBS... ::)

I mean, that is who the Mid-Lifer left/cheated on so he must find SOMETHING attractive there to copy, right?
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #74 on: May 02, 2019, 04:12:37 AM »
Mine looked like I did in my 20s, except she is less curvey, has massive teeth, and a creepy AF dead eye stare.  :o

She hasn't updated any form of social media since it all began, and I haven't ran into her...so no idea what she is looking like now, just before.

Now I got this image of randomly bumping into a knock off version of me like some sorta twilight zone thing.



You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #75 on: May 02, 2019, 06:13:01 AM »
At the very very start. My instinct told me who his Ow was so to speak. But my logical brain kept saying “no sacha don’t be ridiculous. She’s polar opposite” I mean Clington likes curvy women, dark hair, tanned, makeup, very pretty girly looking girls. So to speak. To the point where I could line up all his ex’s and you could tell there’s a clear type. But Ow (at the time) was fairly slim, blond, pale, no makeup, tomboy looking. It wasn’t that long ago she uploaded photos of her and Clington at someone’s wedding reception and she was wearing a nice dress and heels yes. But she was pale and not a scrap of makeup. And I remember thinking  a special occasion and no makeup. Wooow!

Fast forward to now. The pale, blond, natural nails, mo makeup, boring dressed lady is now tanned, (still blonde!) acrylic nails, makeup and dressing like me.

I’m very much a person who knows what I like, l know my own mind. I mean I even have some clothing that’s men’s because if I like it. I like it and I’ll wear it. It’s that simple. Don’t get me wrong, there may be a time when I would do something to please someone. Yuno like say in the past Clington said “I like girls that wear a football shirt” or there was a big match on that was important to his team. I might rock up in the kitchen wearing said football team shirt. But that would be a one off. And never in public ha! Whereas it’s hit a point that I wear a top on a selfie. And give it a week. She’s been to the shop, got the same top on. To me it’s all very bizarre.

But then I guess that’s just adding a bit more fuel to their relationship because she can’t be me for the rest of her life. There will come a point where enough is enough.

Morte - maybe big teeth is a MLC thing. Ow also has HUGE teeth. Which is fun to because It’s always been said by Clington and even dentists that I have perfect teeth and I never wore a brace as a teenager. My friends constantly refer to her as the horse 🤣 I know it’s mean but hey! I remember a few months after BD I told Clington he backed the wrong horse and he knew who I was talking about!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #76 on: May 02, 2019, 06:20:26 AM »
Morte - maybe big teeth is a MLC thing. Ow also has HUGE teeth. Which is fun to because It’s always been said by Clington and even dentists that I have perfect teeth and I never wore a brace as a teenager. My friends constantly refer to her as the horse 🤣 I know it’s mean but hey! I remember a few months after BD I told Clington he backed the wrong horse and he knew who I was talking about!

Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #77 on: May 02, 2019, 06:33:26 AM »
Thankfully I have this forum because quite often, I just want to upload something a long the lines of

Immitation is the highest form or flattery.

About a year ago when she started copying me, snapchat did a filter that made your teeth HUGE. So I took a selfie put it on my Instagram story so was only up for 24 hours and I said “since she wants to be me, I’ll be her” and for a good 6 months she refused to smile on photos. You didn’t see her teeth at all! That was a good 9-12 months ago now and I haven’t acknowledged her since. Hopefully she’s getting bored now
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #78 on: May 02, 2019, 06:39:01 AM »
The thing is. She isn’t just copying my looks. She copies the quotes I upload. I upload eating a TGI Fridays. That’s where she goes to eat. I upload about watching something. She’s soon watching it. It’s very scary.

Funnily enough last summer I was posting about Love Island (yes UKers I am one of them!) and a meme was going round of one of the girls when her boyfriends ex came into the villa and she says “is that your ex? Yeah thought so. I ain’t taking to her. She can f*ck off”

The best bit to this.....HER OWN SISTER commented and said “you don’t even watch love island” but it was clear I did watch it sooo
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #79 on: May 02, 2019, 06:42:37 AM »
Thankfully I have this forum because quite often, I just want to upload something a long the lines of

Immitation is the highest form or flattery.

About a year ago when she started copying me, snapchat did a filter that made your teeth HUGE. So I took a selfie put it on my Instagram story so was only up for 24 hours and I said “since she wants to be me, I’ll be her” and for a good 6 months she refused to smile on photos. You didn’t see her teeth at all! That was a good 9-12 months ago now and I haven’t acknowledged her since. Hopefully she’s getting bored now

I am sorry but that made me laugh a lot lol
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #80 on: May 02, 2019, 02:29:14 PM »
Tbf morte I know it was kinda cruel and I’m not really in the habit of tearing down people on looks but yuno. Some people I’ll make exceptions.

Yuno when weird things happen and you say “I could write a book on that”. Honestly I think in the morning I need to start phoning publishers because quite frankly I’m gonna have to start a series of books on the life and times of Clington.

So today Clington had the kids 6-8pm. As he was working it’s kinda waiting for him to get home kinda thing. Around 5:45-5:50 I’m in D7s bedroom (front facing) she’s been messing at the window and it’s open and I see Clingtons car. So we go downstairs and wait for him to come in. I’m in the kitchen with D2. D5 and D7 are pottering around. So I call D5 and D7 in and Clington pulls his “oh okay” face. Like I’m out of order for calling the kids to see him. Despite having the kids in the kitchen he’s still making weird brief chit chat. Kinda like he doesn’t want to go. But then you have to remember this is a man who refuses to watch the kids whilst they are in bed, in my house even when I’m not here for a hour or so but yet won’t bloody leave and is lingering 🤷🏻‍♀️. He’s in a very funny mood. I can’t put my finger on it but it was just different.

He hands me a foil package. And honestly I would LOVE to know who it’s really from. So MIL works by day as a cook in a nursery and also has her own baking business. She bakes all my girls birthday cakes and also does lots of church events yuno where you can hire a stall. She’ll have one with cakes biscuits etc etc. On Tuesday when the kids were last with Clington. D7 was telling me how Clington had ordered of his mum, a strawberry and while chocolate flapjack for work. And I actually assumed it was for Ow. Because she likes to post how on his day off she will send Clington for a cupcake and I always laughed because Clington always went to a shop and paid for one. Instead of asking his mum to do one for her. Always seemed odd to me. Especially because that’s almost like a seal of approval isn’t it “look what my mum baked”. So I thought maybe he was getting his lady some of mummy’s baking. Then last night on his mums baking Facebook page she uploaded her tray bakes. There was three of them and she was sharing what event she’ll be at this weekend. Again it had the strawberry one. So I commented and said “you know my fave”. Low and behold Clington comes in with three of the strawberry ones for me. And as MIL isn’t here tonight she’s back in Blackpool. I can’t work out if it’s one or Clingtons or if MIL sent it. Either way I got some yummy flapjacks for tomorrow. Ner ner ner nerrrrr!

So once he hands me the flapjacks I open it and say something like “oh yummy” and then made a joke about how I’ll have to keep commenting his mums stuff for more cakes. At this point Clington wasn’t getting the hint so I go to grab my purse and handbag and such which then prompts the “oh come on girls let’s go mine” so he then sends D7 over to his whilst he’s grabbing D5 and D7s Pjs. D2 was already wearing her brand new ones. He then says something hinting that he’s wanting to be intimate. So I just say “You’ve already had your last time” or words to that effect. He then says something like “oh so your off out” and D5 pipes up “she’s going ASDA to see if she can find us some unicorn crumpets!” Should have known not to open my big gob to her 🤣 and I swear he did a sigh of relief.

Then around 7:15 he comes over with D2s PJs she was wearing which are soaked wet through and he explains he needs new PJs. I could see it was a genuine request so I let it slide this time. But yay me. I locked the door so needed to unlock it. 7:55 I then unlock the door again because I know to expect him and almost as soon as I’m sitting back on sofa and have pressed play on the TV o hear the door open. So I shout “come to mama” ASSUMING it’s the kids cos me and D2 have this thing, where I say “come to mama” and she will then run with her arms out shouting “mam mam” but it was just Clington. And he says “I thought it was the last time” so I say “well I wouldn’t have said that it I’d known it was you. I thought it was D2 and gang”

I then make a point of getting the kids in bed. I read them a story each. I didn’t hear the door close but I knew last time I saw H he was in the kitchen. So when I come down I start making a brew as I have the second instalment of emmerdale. He’s not in the kitchen. As I go in the living room he’s on the sofa. So I say “Are you confused?” And he looks up at me. So I say “you know you don’t live here anymore right!?” And he just says “ha”

We have a general chit chat. Now, he’s still in his funny mood and I’m getting the vibe he’s gonna say or do something. Yuno like there’s something he needs to say. Because every other word is “Erm” or “Well then” and my paranoid mind is in over drive. I’m thinking is Ow pregnant. Is that it!? Are they getting married? Is he going to tell me he can’t pay my rent anymore? Literally I’m thinking BAD things. I suppose it’s the paranoia in me because then I’m going “Ow is super skinny atm. Like skeleton skinny. So she can’t be pregnant and if she was she’s an attention ho so would have put it online by now and someone would have told me” and I’m calming myself down like an idiot. Literally nothing comes of this. But I do notice him looking at the photo wall I have. Which is basically a wall full of photos of things me and the kids have done since BD. There are the odd pics of the girls before BD but most of it is out stuff post BD. I kinda used it as a celebration wall in all honesty. So that when I have a down day I can look at it and remember I’m a badass mumma bear. He then again implies he wants to be intimate, so I say “We’ve has our last time” and he says “have we tho? Why’s that?” So then I say “1) you say you don’t go back to ex’s. So what am I them? 2) were not together anymore and 3) because I said so” and he keeps asking “but why?” And I know what he’s getting at. In effect he wants to know if I’m with someone and that’s what’s changed me no longer sleeping with him. So I keep saying “because we’re not together and I said so”. I’m not emotionally ready to go near another man in that way yet but boy what I wouldn’t give to say “Because my new boyfriend is A SAS marine and he would put you in a coma if you even so much as look at me again”.

Now as a general rule if ever I’m on my phone around him. He pulls faces. Like he things I’m getting evidence or whatever. Yet he was on his phone. Yuno cos SOMEONE needs a reply instantly. So I say “one rule for you another for me”. He did the very typical thing or slapping his legs and saying “right” as if he’s going but it never materialised to him going.

What did interest me is and I’ve said it before, is that Clington is again hinting that he wants to be intimate. He’s not saying things outright or doing anything definitive. Almost like he’s scared of the rejection so he’s making hints and jokes type thing. But as I’ve said before. He’s wanting to be intimate with me, knowing full well come Saturday morning him and Ow are away for the weekend 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s almost like clockwork really. “Ooooh I’m gonna have to be with Ow for a few days. Best get my sacha Fix” sounds like a very strong and stable relationship they have there *insert biggest eye roll known to man*.

Stay tuned folks for tomorrow instalment of Clington.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline islandgirl68

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #81 on: May 02, 2019, 04:31:47 PM »
Hey Sachat following along. Boy he is clingy.

It does seem that Mr Clington is trying to anchor check you with the whole intimacy thing. It screams desperation on his part that he needs that sort of validation that your still 'his' and 'waiting' for him.

I have a question and maybe you answered it before, but what was his reason for ending your R? I get in the land of MLC the answer will never make sense anyway, but it seems like Clington can't seem to let go of his old life with you. It sure seems like he misses his old life and is not so sure he is willing to completely let it go. And I'm speaking of between the two of you. With your girls obviously he'll be involved one way or another.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it boggles the mind that MLCr's are so intent of leaving and starting fresh with the shiny and new, but when they get to that land of unicorms and rainbows, they turn around and try to keep being apart of the old life as well. Like my H still can't see why we won't be best buds after D. He still speaks of hanging out together and doing family trips and spending holidays together. H says "You're the only one I think of when I want to share how my day was." :o
Me: 34
H: 36
S18; D11; D8; D4
Together 19 years, Married for 2
BD: 4/25/2017 (EA, FA)
BD: 4/10/2018 (EA same OW)
I'm finally discovering who I am

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #82 on: May 03, 2019, 12:24:15 AM »
Well IG we were a bit different to a normal BD moment.

At the time of BD I’d only recently turned 26. So my worldly wiseness wasn’t where it should be. I was probably stressed to the maximum at this point. I was having issues with the mums in D7s class. D2 has been on hospital and they were just testing her for a brain tumour. So I was mentally drained. And prior to BD, Clington had been very depressive and moaping about the house with this “poor me” mentality. And I had no time for it.

On the Wednesday we had a very normal and generic argument. Honestly I couldn’t tell you what we argued about. But id sloped off upstairs to watch “Bad Moms”. He come up to do his usual “don’t be in a mood with me routine” but to do it he turned the TV off and started being a prat to try and make me laugh. And I flipped. In the argument I told him he needed to leave (I’d said it a few times before and usually it would make him snap out of it) then out of nowhere, he lay on the bed and started crying. Like this is a man who never cried when his dad died so I was shocked. We then agreed to “take it day by day”. By Friday he was saying that’s what he wanted but wasn’t doing anything to fix things so again I snapped and I said to him “I’m going to sort (whatever kid has been stirring upstairs) out and when I come back you best be gone” he wasn’t so I got the binbags and then he left. I remember watching him crying and packing his bags. He literally cried a good 2-3 times during these few days and that’s when I realised this wasn’t a normal breakup! And there we have our BD haha! At the time or BD I suppose we were completely at our lowest. Money was extremely tight. We had 3 kids 6 and under. D2 (then D1) was in and out of hospital and being tested for the worst things possible (brain tumours and Leukaemia etc etc!). And we didn’t know we were pregnant with her until I was 22 weeks! We had a house that needed completely redecorating and seriously. At the time we were a pressure cooker just waiting to burst. 

So he never really gave me a reason. It was to his mum he gave the reasons because that Friday night he slept in his car and when she found out she was really worried about him. And he told her “I can’t stay at the house we always argue. The house is a mess. My uniform doesn’t fit me anymore” yuno really rubbish reasons.

So I kinda think I “nipped it” in the bud so to speak and kicked him out before anything could start with Ow. There are other reasons but yeah I think he started with Ow because he needed someone and she was willing and desperate.

I suppose in some ways it’s kinda cute that your H still thinks of you in a way that he wants to tell about his day. But I really don’t think Clington would open up and talk. I mean that’s what got him in this mess. He just doesn’t talk about anything and I very much doubt that he will be talking to me, Ow or even coworkers. He works with Ow (separate sites but same company) so most people dealt with Ow on email and calls and she’s one of those “I spoke to you in work so I added you” type people. And people he worked with only realised they were together when she uploaded photos on social media marking her territory. It’s funny cos the photo she uploaded actually was him avoiding being in a photo in a lift. He’s leaning out or the way and she’s snapping a pic!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #83 on: May 03, 2019, 12:52:08 AM »
How about the next time he wants to do the mattress mambo, you say no and he asks why, just tell him you are not interested in sloppy seconds. ... or any other potential STD that OW might have...

OW Yes = Nookie NO!
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
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Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #84 on: May 03, 2019, 02:00:48 AM »
Well I did say no but I think I need to be more assertive. It’s a weakness or mine. Not just with Clington but life in general. I tend to struggle to say “no I don’t want too” so I either agree to go places with friends I won’t enjoy or whatever or like with Clington where I will say something like “I already said it’s the last time and we’re not together soooo” and make a few jokes to lighten the mood.

I suppose as a general rule I’m very people pleasing.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Treasur

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #85 on: May 03, 2019, 02:23:12 AM »
And that may be your important mirror work, Sachat...

Tbh I think your h sees you as a kind of possession in a way...that he will assume he 'has' you until some other man takes ownership....that he can treat your home as a kind of standby too.
And no is a complete sentence. Every time you lighten it with humour, it loses its power.
And tbh every time you use humour about the situation...even though it is a useful coping skill...it can also downplay the reality and your self worth. This man left you and three small children, ran off to his mum's and got himself an ow who stalks you online and calls your children feral. That is a shoddy man child thing to do imho. I think you deserve much better...do you? He may be keeping you on this shelf...do you want to stay there?

What do YOU want, Sachat? You are a young woman with three young children. What is your plan now? It is harder to be assertive if you don't know what you are trying to achieve....
« Last Edit: May 03, 2019, 02:26:36 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #86 on: May 03, 2019, 02:57:09 AM »
How about the next time he wants to do the mattress mambo, you say no and he asks why, just tell him you are not interested in sloppy seconds. ... or any other potential STD that OW might have...

OW Yes = Nookie NO!

2nd
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #87 on: May 03, 2019, 03:11:15 AM »
It is defo something I need to work on. I tend to use, Humor to lighten the mood. Not just with Clington but to almost everyone. Whenever I have bad news to give someone I always end my sentences with a light joke or something. I don’t know why I do it, I think I’ve always done it. Since early life. I suppose it’s a firetrucked yo coping mechanism. My nana abandoned my grandad and all 5 of her daughters. My mum was two. So if anyone mentions grandmas or nanas. I’ll say something like “oh well I wouldn’t know. Mine hates me” or something like that.

I also agree I think Clington does still see me as “his”. He doesn’t seem to be able to separate the fact we’re not together anymore. Even when he says things like “I don’t sleep with ex’s” okay then....what am I? It’s very bizarre because i tend to have a trump card over Ow. In the past if I saw something on her Instagram. I could phone him and tell him to get her to delete it. Guess what. It would soon be deleted. Yet I could (I won’t!) but I could upload something that is so blatantly aimed at her. And he would never tell me to remove it.

Side note and I have to laugh - Clington has the kids today and my plan is to blitz the sh!t out of my house. I bought my cleaning stuff last night etc etc. So I come upstairs. Turn my music on and it’s an Apple Music play list called “90’s hits essentials” first song it plays is Brandi and Monica - the boy is mine.......the very song Ow uploaded about a month after I ousted him for cheating and she captioned it “when a song says everything you need too!” LOOOOL
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #88 on: May 03, 2019, 03:48:09 AM »
I use humour too. I don't think it is a bad thing.  ;D

Pretty sure Beast is similar. In fact he politely told me how he ''will judge any man that comes into my life for the rest of my life''. Brave assumption that he is still going to be there.  ???

I have also found a sort of similar affect in terms of he wants to come to me to chat about the things that he wouldn't chat with people about, he wants to ask me for advice about BIL and MIL...

Constantly trying to convince me how he is going to make it big. How when he gets all this money he will still take care of me...in my head it is like a little dog wagging his tail up at me, wanting a stroke.  :o
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #89 on: May 03, 2019, 03:56:04 AM »
Clington is yet to have a serious chat with me. But I do feel he’s on the edge of it. A few times now he’s lingered like he has something to say but not said anything. I can’t explain it.

Clington has been similar. I used to live two doors down from a pub. They knocked the pub down and built houses. The one on the end is HUGE but so so nice. It’s got 4 bedrooms 2 bathrooms. It’s completely detached from the rest of the houses. But it’s over half a million pound! Clington said “If I won the lottery. Id buy you that” okay cos that’s normal!

When Ow was in the house next door. It’s so funny cos he parked his car on a side toad so I wouldn’t know he was home but outside his bedroom was a pic of me and Clington with D7 when she was around 1. So she would have seen that. Funnily enough she had to upload she was there. And that night I told him, she never steps foot in that house ever again. He agreed and then said that I can’t have men in this house. Now what’s funny is, I have NO literally zero intention of having men in this house. This is MY house I share with my kids. I don’t want men in it. But I think he thinks men haven’t been in because he told me so but I don’t want men in it. If I did, I’d have them in on a Friday when he’s out so he wouldn’t know anyway HAAAA
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #90 on: May 03, 2019, 04:14:39 AM »
I think you should dress a giant teddy up in a hoody and trousers and sit on the couch with it....so when he stares in the window he just sees you snuggled up with it on the couch.  8)

You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #91 on: May 03, 2019, 05:48:05 AM »
I think you should dress a giant teddy up in a hoody and trousers and sit on the couch with it....so when he stares in the window he just sees you snuggled up with it on the couch.  8)

You get a seat on the Hades bus too, right next so Schratz...

We really ARE on a roll today....   Must be the New Moon tomorrow...
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #92 on: May 03, 2019, 10:28:30 AM »
Ahahaha well my evil idea was to go online and buy the same tracksuit Clington showed me he bought. It’s firetrucking illuminous yellow so be missed  and had that filled with something on my sofa and I’ll take a pic of the legs and the tv and be like “just watching x”. That would send Ow into a spin thinking it was Clington but also send Clington into a spin wondering who it was.

I remember a while ago, someone had a title called “I just want to be boring” I can’t remember who but that’s what I feel like. I spent the day blitzing the house and now I’m currently sat in my kitchen eagerly waiting for my Chinese food delivery to sit alone at home watching the new Zac Efron as ted bundy film and have a semi early night. When I could quite easily be out drinking with the girls.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #93 on: May 03, 2019, 10:34:37 AM »
Do it!

You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #94 on: May 03, 2019, 11:24:41 AM »
Why is it when things go well a spanner is thrown into the works.

I literally haven’t seen Clington since he took the kids. No popping in (in fairness the door was locked and I had my music on loud). I planned my evening to have a Chinese and watch that shocking evil film. I over order on Chinese. Spent £22 just for me! Load up Netflix and find the film isn’t on Netflix.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #95 on: May 03, 2019, 12:46:36 PM »
Back to your comment treasur

I’m sort of, letting fate take care of its self. So to speak. I’ve always said, about Clington. To Clington. To everyone really that this whole episode is either going to bring me and him back together. Whereas then he is my “the one” or it will lead me to find my “the one” so regardless I see it as a positive.

I’m not actively seeking to date, yuno I haven’t joined Tinder or bubble or PoF or whatever else is out there HOWEVER I’m also not adverse to date. If I was out with girls and a gorgeous guy wants my number. I’ll give it to him. He wants to take me out. If I feel like it. I’ll go. And if I meet someone oh so amazing before Clington wishes to return then that’s tough luck chuck. But if Clington wishes to return and I haven’t met a Jason Momoa look alike. Then maybe it’s meant to be with Clington. I guess time will tell.

I say this in the most humble way. I’m quite an attractive girl. I’m 27. I’m not silly and thinking I’ll never find anyone because that’s a myth. When I’m meant to I will. Quite frankly I’m a damn good catch and in due time I will get caught on someone’s line. I just have no idea who the fisherman will be out fishing that day.

So yes potentially I could be on the shelf. But I won’t be the same person I was and I’m also not waiting. My life carries on regardless.

I’m living very much by “if it’s meant to be. It will be”.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #96 on: May 08, 2019, 03:26:46 AM »
What a peaceful bank holiday I had. Woweee! I literally had zero contact with Clington whatsoever since Saturday morning until 6pm last night.

Around 5:30-5:45 MIL is at the door with a tray of cakes. She gives each of the kids one and there’s now two cupcakes left and two flapjacks which she said were for me. So yuno I’m not complaining. I guess it’s nice that she still thinks of me especially when it comes to cakes. She could have quite easily told H to give them Ow.

Clington came over after work per our agreement and he seemed VERY happy to see us/the kids. We had a brief chat and I gave him a letter that came through about D2. Basically they are now saying amongst other tests they want to check her heart with a echocardiogram. Now what’s annoying is when D2 was in hospital age TWO MONTHS old because she wasn’t gaining weight I had a friend who has the same symptoms and her son had a congenital heart defect. So she told me to ask them to look in to her heart. They point blank refused to even listen to it. And now 2 and a half years later they want to do it.

Earlier in the day I took a pic ofc the letter and put a rant on Facebook about how when I ask they didn’t do it and now they want to and they are only telling me in a letter when I had a appointment with them a day before this letter was written. So yes I was frustrated.

As I handed Clington the letter I was also ranting to him and said “I firetrucking asked them to do it when she was two months old and now they want to do it” to which he replied “I know I know”. Which does make me wonder if he had already seen my rant on Facebook!? Because he didn’t seem shocked about the letter at all. Yes MIL would have seen it too but Clington and MIL rarely chat. So I highly doubt she would have told him.

He brings the kids back at 8pm and he’s wearing this mad luminous yellow tracksuit. And I had a face a bit like 😳 it was hard to hide and he kept saying “what what?”  I sent the kids straight to bed and I started making D2 her milk for bedtime. When I got upstairs Clington was there! I’ll let him off as he was giving the kids a cuddle and a kiss and saying goodnight as I sent them upstairs before he could do that. This isn’t something he’s ever done before so maybe he’s missed them?

When he was taking the kids at 6pm he was getting stuff from the car as I was leaving to go to the shop and I noticed a snazzy little LV backpack he had. I googled and the closest thing I could see was a £2k bag. TWO FIRETRUCKING GRAND. On the phone to my BFF and we were talking about this. We went through his expenses with a tooth comb (because we are b!tc#es haha!) and worked out on a month with NO overtime Clington has £200 left after paying my bills (£865 a month!) and his own bills. That £200 he’s left to buy fuel for his car and food and all the crap he buys Kids. Now I know he did do a bit of Overtime but it’s not that luxurious. When we were together we decided he shouldn’t do overtime because the tax that comes with it, makes it borderline pointless. And this is a man that since BD has bought himself so many new clothes, he pays a PT to do caveman fitness (no idea how much this is!) he has a iPhone X. He has a Xbox one, a iPad, a Mac laptop, 2 pairs of each his trainers. I already know he has a £1500 custom made LV bag because I saw a receipt in his car and he told me about it. Now yes this second bag could be a fake buy I’m not sure it really is.

As my BFF said “oh well now you can tell why he’s with Ow. He’s a Male gold digger”

Now I don’t actually care what Clington spends his money on. I genuinely don’t. Apart from a b!tc# fest with my bestie I didn’t give it much thought and as he’s paying more than his fair share towards the kids. I won’t complain. But I suppose it’s funny to have that insight into his life. Trying to find happiness in materialistic things won’t last pal!

It’s also funny cow I said to my BFF no idea why he would even wear that tracksuit he knows it’s not doing to impress me and I suppose she hit the nail on the head and she said

“He wants a reaction. Even if your mouth doesn’t say anything your face will and he’s like a toddler drawing on a wall. Getting a bad reaction is better than no reaction to him”

She’s also right in that. I never vocalised anything about his outfit but I guess I need to try and control my face as much as I control my voice.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #97 on: May 08, 2019, 03:40:03 AM »
She’s also right in that. I never vocalised anything about his outfit but I guess I need to try and control my face as much as I control my voice.

Yeah, that look gave it away without words...



<snort>
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #98 on: May 08, 2019, 03:47:36 AM »
Honestly UM that was very similar to my face. I saw him stood in the kitchen wearing that and I was just. I mean yeah wow. It’s so so SO different to how he would dress with me. Which I know is a common thing but it’s just a bit OTT. Aside from now, the last time I remember him wearing luminous colours was when we went to a rave on a 18-30s holiday (pre kids!) but aside from that I can’t remember at all. I just hope and pray he never does the school run dressed like that!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #99 on: May 08, 2019, 05:50:54 AM »
Luminous yellow track suit and a LV bag. Wow that is certainly a strange combo.  :o



Definitely a hard pass from me. Bwahahaha
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online Whyus

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #100 on: May 08, 2019, 06:52:59 AM »
I’m quite an attractive girl. I’m 27. I’m not silly and thinking I’ll never find anyone because that’s a myth. When I’m meant to I will. Quite frankly I’m a damn good catch and in due time I will get caught on someone’s line.
If you order Chinesse for yourself for 22quid then there are hopefully lots of leftovers. Sounds like a damb good catch to me  ;)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #101 on: May 08, 2019, 07:34:12 AM »
Morte - I’m actually worried about his eye sight. Maybe he’s loosing it? The eye sight. He’s lost every thing else! Ha!

Whyus - I literally had Chinese for about 3 days straight 🤣
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online One day at a time

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #102 on: May 08, 2019, 08:13:47 AM »
If he bought a luminous yellow tracksuit I'd say he lost his eyesight a long time ago!  ::)
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #103 on: May 09, 2019, 02:32:35 PM »
So another day another Clington exclusive haha!

It’s Thursday which means it’s handover day. For two hours anyway. So 6pm comes. As I was in the kitchen I saw his car ready to turn into my drive so I unlocked the door and I called the kids. D5 also saw his car and opened the door for him. She’s particularly excited to see him as she’s got a certificate in school today and she’s gone up a reading book group. Hence why I unlocked the door so she could welcome him. As soon as he opened the door she jumped on him spilling everything she had to tell him. He did that very typical “Oh wow D5 well done pud” shouty happy voice thing but he seemed “off” Yuno like he was saying the words and acting it out but that’s all it was. Like it was acting. D7 then tells him about her day and I’m trying to push him and the kids out again he’s saying things like “Right kids come on” but also not moving either. D5 then mentioned a party she’s at this Saturday (kids and their firetrucking parties!) however this Saturday and Sunday is my child free weekend. D5 has asked me to take her. So I explain I don’t mind taking her and Clington is very much “No no don’t worry I’ll sort it. It’s your weekend off to relax” so I say “but if D5 wants me to take her. I don’t mind. It’s only two hours etc etc” and I really don’t. I understand it’s my time to relax and his time with the kids etc but if D5 wants me to take her (she’s very much a mummy’s girl!) I honestly don’t mind. But I won’t force it. If he wants to do it. That’s also fine. They then all leave. So I get my coat and go to the shops. There’s just something so peaceful and therapeutic about waltzing around a supermarket with no kids. But I did actually have stuff to get.

8pm comes he brings the kids back. D2 over first. Then D5. Then D7. As they are all in their Pjs he was carrying them one by one as it was raining. I then head upstairs with them. D2 May be almost three and non verbal but boy is she so clued up and as I pick her up and head towards the fridge for her milk. She realises it’s bed time so she’s fighting to free herself. Clington then offers to make the bottle for me. Again I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth as I’m currently fighting to not drop a child on the stairs. So I head upstairs with a wriggling D2 in my arms closely followed by D5 and D7. Clington follows us up and gives them all a cuddle and kiss and says goodnight. I then read D2 and D5 a story. Give them kisses and cuddles and night nights. Then head to D7 to read her a chapter of her book. As I’m reading the book to her I’m wondering if he will be downstairs as I don’t recall the door closing but as D2 has had a screaming fit I might have missed it. But I have been up here easily 15-20 minutes.

Nope I didn’t miss the door closing because he is still in the kitchen. So I walk in to make my cup of tea and I say “What are you doing here?” He said “Saturday” so I looked at him like “surely I’ve misheard what he said” so I say “what?” And he says “right well I’ll see you Saturday then” now, at this point I’m really confused because I’m thinking I’ve missed something here. So I just said “Yes”. And he’s like “who’s CG?” This is what my BFF is saved as in my phone. It’s her initials. And ironically his too 🤣 so I say “why’ve you been looking at my phone!” He went “I wasn’t but it flashed when I was stood there” so I didn’t reply and he says “so who’s CG” I just ignore him because it’s not a question I need to answer. So He then says “why you being so secretive” and I just said “I’m not but it’s none of your business is it” to which he replies with his tail between his legs “right so I’ll see you Saturday morning then about 9” and I’m just genuinely perplexed at this point. Because it’s always been the way. Saturday has always been my day so it’s nothing new. And I said “Right okay” and I continue making my cup of tea. He then says “okay so I won’t see you till Saturday but I’ll be here by 9” and I said “okay”.

And off he goes to his car. I’m still in the kitchen checking school bags making sure I signed reading books etc cos I’ll be bloody damned if when I sit down I realise there’s something I need to do. He then bangs on the kitchen window. So I turn around and he’s doing that really juvenile pose like he’s trying to scare me. So I just look and roll my eyes. And I tell him to act his age not his shoe size.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #104 on: May 10, 2019, 06:26:09 AM »
If he acted at least his age instead of his shoe size.....

Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #105 on: May 13, 2019, 05:01:24 AM »
Clington episode 203040302

Honestly I do wish I had some kind of crystal ball. Not just to see the future but to really see what goes through in his head. Because I can’t honestly imagine it at all.

So Saturday Clington comes over. He told me he would be here by 9 and he actually showed up at 8:45. I suppose the “by 9” meant that it would be before hand but whatever. It was annoying for me because I wasn’t ready yet. I still had to finish packing for the girls. Which meant he was stood in the kitchen longer than I would have liked. I think a new thing will be I might try and get the girls bags etc ready the night before. But I found it so bizarre that he was here so early. Ow lives easily an hour away. So for him to be here for 8:45 he would have left her around 7:45am! I never ever told him he had to come first thing. That’s his choice. He did used to come around midday. A fair few months ago so he’s choosing to come earlier. I’ve always made it clear I have no issue with what time he comes. He just has to let me know before hand. And as I said to my BFF (CG) that as I was “child free” until 8pm Sunday night, if Clington had said “I’ll get the girls at midday” that would have been fair enough to me. But he chose this time.

So when Clington came over, I was pottering about. The girls were dressed. D5 and D7 had had their hair done so it was just D2 who didn’t. But I was pottering about finishing packing their bag etc. During this time it was general chit chat. Nothing heavy. Nothing life altering or whatever. Just the general type things. I was wearing a top that said “The Female Revolution”. Funnily enough this is written across the chest area. So Clington then shouted in an army type order voice “The Female Rev-Ol-Ou-Tion” and did a salute. And I just looked at him. Didn’t respond verbally or anything.

Now this has been a super week for my kids and D7 was SO excited to see Clington as she won the commendation at school this week. Basically there’s one child from each class a week that gets this commendation and they get to go up in assembly. They get a photo on the news letter. It’s quite a big deal and D7 won it this week. So she was ecstatic to tell Clington that this week she got it for super reading. In true Clington style when she told him. He did his “wow amazing well done” then he asked me what it meant. Like duh! She got the exact same one in last year in school so it’s not a new thing! Luckily D7 didn’t hear him ask cos she’s quite sensitive at the minute and I didn’t want anything taking away from her achievements!

Kids were ready and packed and off they went. I then went out to do what felt like 1 million and one things. I mean, originally I planned a really relaxing day. Yuno maybe a spa trip? A massage? Instead I had a very busy and hectic day. But it was lovely. I went and got my nails redone. Then headed to CGs house. We were debating staying in a hotel that night and having a sleepover. We decided to head into town. Get some food and we would decide what to do as some hotels were lovely but SO expensive. I’m talking like £170 just for a bed, then you need to add on breakfast etc and the price hikes up. So we went to a very very lovely curry place. We’ve been there before and the food is LITERALLY 10/10. So we had our food and then somehow ended up getting semi matching tattoos! We had spoke about it a few times and we were looking online and merged our favourites. CG found a nice heart she wanted and I found a nice pair of arrows crossed that said “Our paths crossed at the same time”. In the photo I saw it had the other persons initials and we were laughing at it I got “CG” tattooed how it would be funny to watch the fireworks as Clington had asked who “CG” was on my phone. So he would think it was another man. And Ow would think it was him. But really the CG would be dedicated to my bestie. Yuno the person who’s been there for me when everyone else firetruvked off. In the end I decided NOT to get the initials. We then did some shopping and ended up having a few drinks in the pub. I left my house at 9:30am and didn’t get home until midnight! But I had a fantastic day.

The next day (Sunday) I had a lovely lie in until 10:30. I then got ready and did some shopping. Proper shopping (food etc) not the fun clothes shopping I did the night before ha! I then came home and started cleaning up. I had my headphones on and then randomly Clington phones me and explained he was at the door and needed clothes for D2. Awkwardly at the point he saw the clothes etc I bought the night before as I hadn’t put them away and one of them was new underwear set! Which then you can imagine the things that started flowing out of his mouth. He then clocks my new tattoo. It’s hard to hide as it’s on my lower forearm and I was wearing a TShirt and so I had one million and one questions about it. Which, I refused point blank to answer and kept saying “it’s none of your business. It doesn’t concern you” he then had this mad idea that I had more than one done and was asking where the other one was 🤷🏽‍♀️ no idea where that came from but whatever. D7 then opened his door as she must have heard my voice so I went to say hello to the kids. All of them were wearing new clothes that Clington had bought them. Which begged the question why I bothered packing for them!! I was only there to say hello and give them a kiss as D7 heard me talking I didn’t want to ignore her. And I knew if she said “I just saw mum” it would cause murders. So I left. Clington then followed me out and we had a brief chat. He said something like “I’m taking them to another park they’ve already been to one today” and I just replied something like “wow” he then made a sarcastic comment and I said “what? Do you want a pat on the back for taking your kids to the park” he then grumbled a bit. But I guess this is a improvement as it wasn’t that long ago that when he had the kids he would just keep them in the house doing nothing. Whilst I was out last night D7 commented and liked the photo I uploaded of my curry on her own Instagram account. So I knew she had seen it. I also tagged the location of the curry house as I do with most things. Clington then said “How was your curry?” So I laughed. He then said the name of the place I tagged. Like full name. And he said “Money bags hey. Z (curry house name) isn’t cheap” so I then said “how did you know I went there?” He then said that D7 told him. Which I doubt is true. He then said he knew it was expensive because he looked as he wanted to go there. The place isn’t that expensive. Me and my friend ordered a curry each, rice each, nann bread each, popadoms with the dips and two drinks each and only paid £25 each! Plus the portions are HUGE! So I said “Why would you go there when you only eat chips and naan” he then made a comment about how I wouldn’t have paid because the woman never pays and that’s why I won’t sleep with him because I was on a date. I never confirmed or denied because I don’t firetrucking have too. If I want to go on a date. I can. I don’t want too. I’d rather be with my friends but that’s my choice.  He then also said “you’ve been before” (I have) and I said “how do you know that?” And he replied that D7 had told him to which I openly called him out on the BS. Yes I had been there before, however it was months ago and D7 certainly isn’t going to remember that I went to this place months ago. This is a child we’re talking about. One of whivh who can’t remember what she had for dinner at school by the time she’s home. So she certainly won’t remember the curry house I went to months ago!

I then went back to my cleaning. Around 5pm, I was watching TV and I had my patio doors open and I heard D5 crying in the garden. I think she hurt herself and she was asking to see me. Clington was saying no. Within minutes he caved and was at my door crying her eyes out and wanting a cuddle from me. When I opened the door blood was pouring down her leg so I said “Clington! WTF” and he just protested it wasn’t that bad a minute ago. So I gave her a cuddle and a kiss etc. Calmed her down. She said she wanted to stay with me but I eventually got her to go back to Clingtons.

The kids then came back normal time. D7 was the one that did the “Muuuummmmmyy” run to me which was odd. Brief chat with the kids and Clington and then I push them towards bed. Clington then made a comment about me changing into the pink thing he saw earlier. I looked him square in the face and said “No”. No Humor with it. Just a firm and simple NO. Tonight I didn’t read to the kids but I explained I wouldn’t be reading to them as it was getting late and I’ve had eyelash glue in my eyes and my eyes are hurting. They weren’t that bothered. So I was only upstairs 10-15 minutes as I was kissing them and was making deals with D5 for her to stay in her bed tonight. Since Clington left she’s completely my shadow. I can’t remember the last time she spent a full night in her bed and didn’t come in mine. It is a habit I’m trying to nip in the bud but it’s so hard!

Again, guess what, when I come down Clington was STILL here. I’m starting to feel really paranoid that he’s got some news to tell me and he doesn’t know how to. I’ve monkeybrained about this so much and honestly. I think as long as Ow isn’t pregnant. I can be okay with anything else. We had a brief chat and somehow. I can’t remember how but got onto the subject of “types” and “what’s good”.

Now to set the scene here guys, I’m a UK size 12. So I’m fairly average. I’m not skinny but I’m also not large. I’ve got curves and quite a good bottom if I say so myself. I also have shoulderish length hair and it’s black. My fake tan is always on and I’m usually wearing a “dark” or “ultra dark” shade. Ow is pale. Even when wearing fake tan she probably wears a “light” “medium” shade. She’s easily a few shades lighter than me. She’s blonde and VERY skinny. I haven’t seen a photo recently but my friends have said you can see all her bones and she looks like she’s a size 4 or less. She has no bottom. No boobs. She’s got no curves. So this is the convo we had

Me - but you can’t say what’s good and what’s not. What’s good for you might not be for someone else.
Clington - no but somethings just aren’t good for anyone
Me - but like you for example your “type” is girls with a bit of meat, you like them dark haired an a nice bum
Clington- like you
Me - *trying not to laugh or smirk* but that doesn’t make it good. It just means it’s what you like. Some people might like a stick think blonde girl with no bum
Clington - but that’s not good. Not for anyone. Nobody would find that attractive
Me - *biting tongue so hard that I think I might bite it off. Wishing I had Botox to stop my face giving it away* but that’s your opinion. Everyone is different.

I then cut the convo short as quite frankly I didn’t want to be having it. I got enough info for my b!tc#ing session with CG later on.

Clington then implied in such a vague way that he wanted to be intimate again. I just ignored him. I couldn’t work out how to respond because it wasn’t a blatant “let’s go to bed”. All he said was something along the lines of “what we doing now” it was more the look in his eye that gave it away. And I know what it meant but if I said “no Clington I’m not sleeping with you” He would go all defensive make me look crazy and say something like “omg I wasn’t saying that I was just asking your evening plans” or whatever. It’s almost like he hasn’t got the balls (literally) to actually shoot his shot so to speak and because he doesn’t know how I’ll react he plays it so vague. I would actually have much more respect if he was blatant and said “I want to go bed with you” instead of the vague things I’ve been getting lately. But it’s become much more frequent. Literally minimum once a week he will want to be intimate. Lord, it’s much more frequent than when we were an official couple 🤣

Since were doing a big old weekend up date I’ll also update on the weirdo Ow I seem to have for myself *eye roll*. So not last week but the week before when Clington brought me some flapjack the Tuesday before, D7 told me that Clington had asked MIL to do some for “work” before BD Clington was always taking cupcakes into the lads at work. His work. Not the site Ow worked at. He did do that once or twice but that was when he was asking for favours so he took them cupcakes when he wanted a promotion or whatever as a softening up. But it was a good while before BD and I’m not sure Ow would have worked there then. Anyway, he asked MiL for some for work. So I didn’t think anything of it. Then last week I got more cakes. And I uploaded a pic onto Instagram. I didn’t say it was from MIL or anything. I merely uploaded a picture of a flapjack and some cupcakes, with my cup of tea and my Tv on with the soaps and I captioned it “Eeenie meeenie minie mo. Kids are in bed so it’s time for mummy’s chill time”. I uploaded this on Thursday. Friday Ow uploaded a pic of the flapjack tray and captioned it “almost took us 2 weeks but we did it” or something like that. But I just laughed when I was sent it because 1) yea you finally got his mums bakes. Wow. Well done but his mum didn’t even realise she was baking for you and 2) STOP MAKING IT OBVIOUS YOU STALK ME. Then my friend also showed me that the time off the had together two weekends ago they didn’t actually go away. They just did little days out. By the looks of what I’ve seen (I can’t be too sure) but it appears Clington refuses to pose for happy smiley selfies. So Ow has to take pictures of his back as he was walking. With them spending a whole bank holiday weekend at her house I just laugh because surely her and her parents must be thinking “he spends all this time round here. Why can’t I/she spend time at his?” Because his ex said so that’s why 🤣 but I’m also wondering if the money is starting to dry up 🤷🏽‍♀️ but it could be that they are going away at the end of the month when his mum has the kids for me. Either way, it’s odd how I’m not really monkey braining about it. When it was mentioned to me. I just said “oh maybe money is drying up” and that was that. Whereas if this happened a few months ago I would have probably researched every single possibility until I couldn’t go anymore! So I guess YAY me! It’s odd the things that make me monkey brain and the things that don’t. But even on my monkey brain episodes. They don’t last anywhere near as long anymore. So I guess that’s progress!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #106 on: May 13, 2019, 05:37:30 AM »
My response to Clington's antics must have looked somewhat like

because it was one WTF Moment after the other...
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #107 on: May 13, 2019, 10:54:44 AM »
Hey UM, if that was your face reading it imagine mine living it? All me and CG kept saying on the phone was “wtf” “wth” “ahhh I don’t get him”. Just when you think you’ve cracked the MLC behaviour. It throws you a curveball.

Clington did the school run this morning. He offered last night and explained it was his day to do as he pleases and he then insisted on doing the school run for me. It’s a big help so I’ll let him.

For atleast a few months now, after the school run (when he’s done it on “his” days) Clington has gone straight into his house and done whatever or got in his car and gone. But today he came back. So I just looked at him and said “D2 is in the living room” to which he said he wouldn’t disturb her. Well isn’t that the reason your here? To see your kid? Surely it’s not your ex.

I can’t remember what he said, but he said something that made my response be “You don’t live here anymore” to which he responded “says who” I was so taken aback by that response and I went to say “well yeah considering the neighbours are none the wiser” but I couldn’t finish my sentence as Clington interrupted and said “I still pay the rent”. Which then got us on the topic of money x y and z. I explained to him that he pays rent instead of giving me money for the kids, which he is legally obligated to do. I then made a comment about him stopping paying and said “oh well the courts would love it if you stopped when they can see everything you’ve bought, your AirPods, iMac, iPad trainers” and as I started reeling off everything he’s bought since BD he then said “I worked hard and I can buy what I want” and I just said “Sure you can, as long as you still pay what your legally obligated too!”. He then went on to tell me how he’s not been able to do overtime in a while (I did suspect) and so he’s struggling to afford things and that soon I’ll need to start paying my own water bill (£40 per month) which I totally 100% understand and as Clington pays almost £800 towards the house it’s always been my plan go clear my debts and when I can take more of my bills off Clington so that I was completely self sufficient. But I find it funny that it’s only that one he mentioned. Things must be really tight. Oh boo hoo.

We then somehow, not sure how touched on the subject of bat $h!te cray Ow. It’s funny because whenever she’s been mentioned (it’s rare) neither Clington nor myself mention her by her name or anything. We just sort of talk and know who it’s about. Clington thought I was going to say “evidence” and that started the snowball. I’m getting really fed up of having a chat about Ow and so I said to him “I have no intention of outting you right now” to which he interrupted and said “oh right now so you will when things don’t go your way” so I then said “I can’t tell you if I will but I very highly doubt I ever will as I don’t give two $h!tes anymore. My focus is on me and the kids but quite frankly I find it hilarious that you would even give me the power to potentially ruin something you claim to love and cherish” and that was the last thing I said on the matter. I’d like to say that I hope it’s the last of that talk, which o do hope but I’m not holding my breath.

Clington also said that he would do the school pick up if he was about. I noticed he went out during the day and around 1pm I noticed his car was back on the drive. So at 3pm when I woke D2 from her nap. I went to knock on his door but he opened it just as I was getting there and i explained I was checking if he was getting the kids. We had a bit of a “I’m not bothered” chat and then he said “I quite like the school run so I will do it. I don’t mind”. I must have looked at him funny (really need to work on that!) as he was wearing luminous yellow trainers and a luminous yellow thin jumper thing and he said “what?” So I just said “just think of ya kids on the school run. You don’t want to be embarrassing them” he them started mentioning the brand names of what he was wearing. *yawn* might impress other woman but not me *yawn*. And off he went.

He came back around 3:30 as he took kids to the shops for sweets. I was folding my drying over and he said “Oooh is it hot in here” and I joked “that’ll be me” and he replied “your just too hot”. He then kept touching his sunglasses (Yuno like a child) to get me to notice them. So I looked at them but didn’t say anything. He then put them on me to try them on. I so wished I could have snapped a selfie for IG and watched the fire works but alas! Clington then again started bragging about how much they cost. I never got a figure but he was so adamant they was expensive blah blah blah. I honestly don’t know why he thinks I’m going to be impressed by him blowing money on sunglasses and clothing. Materialistic $h!te only impresses little girls.

I won’t see him now till tomorrow. Lucky me he’s off tomorrow and it’s my day. So I will be child free from school run in the morning till 8pm! Now what to do with my day 🤔

Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #108 on: May 14, 2019, 03:16:37 AM »
I couldn't decide... Either the hair color is wrong or too pale but I was left with a combination of




and


Take your pick.....
« Last Edit: May 14, 2019, 03:17:38 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #109 on: May 14, 2019, 06:08:35 AM »
I can’t remember what he said, but he said something that made my response be “You don’t live here anymore” to which he responded “says who” I was so taken aback by that response and I went to say “well yeah considering the neighbours are none the wiser” but I couldn’t finish my sentence as Clington interrupted and said “I still pay the rent”. Which then got us on the topic of money x y and z. I explained to him that he pays rent instead of giving me money for the kids, which he is legally obligated to do. I then made a comment about him stopping paying and said “oh well the courts would love it if you stopped when they can see everything you’ve bought, your AirPods, iMac, iPad trainers” and as I started reeling off everything he’s bought since BD he then said “I worked hard and I can buy what I want” and I just said “Sure you can, as long as you still pay what your legally obligated too!”. He then went on to tell me how he’s not been able to do overtime in a while (I did suspect) and so he’s struggling to afford things and that soon I’ll need to start paying my own water bill (£40 per month) which I totally 100% understand and as Clington pays almost £800 towards the house it’s always been my plan go clear my debts and when I can take more of my bills off Clington so that I was completely self sufficient. But I find it funny that it’s only that one he mentioned. Things must be really tight. Oh boo hoo.

The sooner you are self sufficient the better. Beast and I have always had a joint account. When we got married he just added me to the one he had, and it became a joint account...everything went in and came out of it. All income and out goings. This was great while we were married for obvious reasons. But when this situation happened it was a complete nightmare.

Every direct debit, repayment plan, whatever had to be divided up into ''his'' and ''hers'' and that doesn't even get into things that are in one person's name but ''for'' the other one (animal insurance was in his name, but I have the dog...my phone was on his contract...the bed repayment plan was in his name but I kept the bed).

This first year after BD we just kept it how it was. All went in and came out of the account. The weekly budget that was left over was divided between us. He lived bill free with his mom, and left his pay check in the account. For that I will always be grateful. He is my husband, and it is his responsibility or whatever... but the reality is many men would have taken their check as soon as they left...leaving me in the dirt with a mortgage and three kids, with no income. Beast has done $h!tety things, but I do have to give him that he hasn't done anything financially that year.

I then decided for myself that since this is such a long process, and so many people on here end up in financial ruin, and Beast was clearly still in coo-coo-ville that I didn't want to stress and worry about the day he moved his check. I made a completely separate account in my name solely. I applied for all the things I needed to apply for, and informed HMRC and all the others of our status. I moved over direct debits in my name, to my new account, and opened any new accounts on it.

He had been moaning about wanting ''his money'' yet did nothing to facilitate the process. It took me 6 months of telling him to make his own bank account before he ever did it.  ::) Then I have him a list of his direct debits that he needed to transfer to his account. I gave him 2 months to move these over (plenty of time) before I cancelled them off the joint account.

I decided to keep our joint account because 1.) it is over a decade old so is good for our credit score, 2.) the joint mortgage comes out of it, 3.) some of the bills in his name but for me, or vice versa are there (we transfer money to this account to pay these), 4.) He can pay child maintenance directly into that account and I can use it as proof later down the line. No money is ever really left in this account unless an upcoming DD is coming. There is no overdraft limit so I don't have to worry about him stealing things out of it.

He has a problem with the term ''child maintenance'' and used to say things like ''Well I am still paying most of the mortgage'' and so I would say ''Are you paying most of the mortgage or are you paying child maintenance? The same £300 can't count for both''.....so either he is paying me as an investment toward the house, or he is paying is mandatory child maintenance. If I choose to use that £300 and add to it to pay my mortgage...that is my choice and in the best interest of the kids...but HE doesn't pay it just because it goes in the account where the mortgage comes out. Does that make sense?

You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online Whyus

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #110 on: May 14, 2019, 06:34:51 AM »
this guy really is all over the place isnt he? Maybe you should have accidentally on purpose dropped those glasses...
Im bad, I just googled what a size 12 Looks like  :D
Im sure that a skinny Little bag of bones with no boobs or bum is much more cwtchy than a size 12! NOT..
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #111 on: May 15, 2019, 08:13:04 AM »
Well morte. That’s always been my plan. The plan I have is right now whilst Clington is more than happy paying my excess bills (sky TV, council tax debt, water debt, rent etc) I’m going to allow him, because that gives me more cash to clear the other debts I have. Then as I clear more and more debt. I will take over some of the bills he pays and do it that way. I can physically get by paying everything myself. So that isn’t too much or a worry. However, I’m aiming to clear the debts ASAP.

Whyus - what’s funny is he openly admits and has done on 3/4 occasions now that he doesn’t find Ow physically attractive. Now obviously we all know that a long term relationship is based on more than looks. However, he’s made it clear he isn’t physically attracted to her from the beginning and that doesn’t fair well. At the very start you should be looking and feeling like you just bagged yourself a 10/10.

Update -

So again Clington is a extra large bag of confusion. He picks the kids up as usual and it was a very basic and normal exchange. No flirting from him. No jokes. No banter. It was very much like a business transaction “I’m here to take my kids to school and nothing else” more than fine by me. He left D2 with me whilst he took D5 and D7 to school and then he came back for D2 where he explained D7 has left her Ukulele at home and it’s lesson day so I said I would take it to school as I was heading out and I would be walking past the school anyway. And off he went home with D2.

I then met CG and we had breakfast. I then headed to the shops. I then came back home and needed a favour off Clington, I needed him to put my kitchen door back on, so I popped to see him. He took great pleasure on showing me he had bought D2 some more clothes. I also noticed a large primark bag full of clothes probably for him. Yuno, cos this is a man who’s admitting that he hasn’t got as much overtime and his first thought is to buy new clothes 🤷🏽‍♀️ each to their own I guess. Me and Clington then go in the garage where I see a bike and he proceeds to tell me he’s bought himself a bike to go to work on. Now this bike looks like one that proper cyclists go out racing on. So I’m guessing it wasn’t cheap. And I laughed and asked was it a replacement for his Harley which he got just before BD but had to get rid off because it was too expensive. Shame about that!

We weren’t able to get the door on as it was way too large so Clington has said he’ll ask FIL to help, as he’s visiting the kids today. He then started asking me why I was so desperate to get the door on and I explained that I would be rehoming some kittens. He didn’t seem that impressed but guess what, it’s not his choice.

 Clington has always had cats as a kid. There was on particular cat they had as a kitten because Clington left a saucer of milk out. That was when he was a child/early teenager himself. Then around 6 years ago when the cat would have been say 10-12 years old ish. Our next door but one had run the cat over. He knocked on the door and said the cat was under his car so BIL went to get him thinking he was fine and just needed moving (the neighbour did not mention he hit the cat until a few hours later) but he wasn’t and the vets said he should be put to sleep due to his injuries. Tbf it did really affect Clington for a while so it’s not like he doesn’t like cats or anything.  I think maybe he just couldn’t get close to them or some weird $h!te like that.

Now a few weeks or so before BD we were actually meant to get a kitten. I saw it on Facebook and phoned Clington at work and his words were “If you really want”. Because that was typically him, he would never say what HE wanted or didn’t want. He would say “do what you want”. After I got off the phone I went straight to the shops, bought everything it needed. I had a business event in the evening and so the deal was Clington would drop me off at the event and then collect the kitten. Take the kitten home and then pick me up. As we pulled into the car park of my event. Clington then decided he wasn’t going to collect a kitten because he thought it was stupid. I was FUMING. So fast forward to now, when one of my friends was desperate to rehome some kittens. I jumped at the chance (yuno cos three kids isn’t a full enough plate! Ha!) Clington had tried every trick in the book to stop me getting the kittens. First he was like “oh the kids won’t be able to leave their food about. You’ll have to keep the house immaculate” now my house is fairly clean anyway and then he started with the “oh the house will smell. It’ll cost you a fortune in wax melts” fine let it. “Oh they’re dead expensive to have jabs and neutering and chipping” yes I know this Clington! I do know how much itll cost. Throughout the day the girl I was meant to be getting them off stopped replying to me from about 12pm-6pm so I was convinced she was going to let me down. Clington then was adamant too. Eventually she messaged and said I could go collect them as one or her kids were poorly. And off I went. MIL drove me and Clington stayed with the kids. I then brought the kittens home and went for the kids. So as I’m in Clingtons house with the kids I’m explaining to them “quiet voices. No squealing” I just assumed, yuno cos Clington was so negative about them he would stay at his away from the kittens. Nope he comes over with the kids. He’s smiling at the kittens. He’s putting his finger on the crate to stroke them etc etc. He then goes over to his and I put D2 to bed and let D5 and D7 have a quick cuddle before putting them to bed.

Kids then go to bed and I started panicking because I didn’t have any kitten milk. So I call MiL. She’s like a know it all with cats. She tells me to come over cos she can’t talk on the phone. Which was annoying. But Clington said he would be going for a run. So I didn’t think he would be in. Running and fitness is his new MLC activity. He tells porkie pies because as I walk in he’s sat on the sofa. I don’t think he ever went for a run. When I walk in he sits up like he’s really interested in what I’m saying etc etc but doesn’t actually say anything. So I don’t really look at him. I got the answers to my questions. MIL asked a few about the kittens and the kids etc and then I leave.

It’s only bloody transpired that I’m actually allergic. I don’t know how as when I lived with Clington and his mum they had cats and I was fine with them. So looks like I’ll have to build up a resistance whilst taking antihistamines ha!

Now this is where the story gets VERY strange. After the school run I go for antihistamines and to get some more kitten stuff. Although I don’t “need” any as they came with everything I like to be fully stocked up! I come home, have a cup of tea and see ITV are cancelling my favourite ever show (Jeremy Kyle!) I say it’s my favourite ever show yet actually I’ve not watched it in a while HA! Around 10:30 I’m sat in the living room. Sipping my cup of tea and the kittens and D2 are running around and Clington is phoning me. He hasn’t phoned me in over a month easily. Our contact via call/text has been non existent for a while. So I start to panic. I’m assuming it’s got to be something really important for him to call. So I answer almost immediately and I must answer dead tentatively and he can hear it in my voice cos he says “don’t worry nothings wrong. How are the cats!?” I was shocked to say the least. So I answer his question. He says nothing. And there’s a silence so I say “D2 do you want to speak to daddy” She’s non verbal so she didn’t say anything but stomped her foot and turned away. So I told him. And he then says “have you heard the news” I knew he was on about Jeremy Kyle so I said I had and what not. He then proceeded to tell me that they think one of his mums cats has died. As he seemed to be poorly and then a few days later went out and hasn’t returned since. I already knew this as MIL told me so yesterday. So I said “yeah I know”. Then we had another awkward silence. And he just said “well” in a “I have nothing really to say so I’m going to hope you say something” type of way so I said “right well I best get going hadn’t I. Kittens and kids don’t look after themselves. Bye” and hung up.

Aside from everything I’m actually so happy to have the kittens. It feels more “family” like to have a proper house pet. Also I’m feeling very independent that I was able to do it all by myself and didn’t have to consult Clington. I consulted MiL as FIL is the landlords agent so I wanted to check it was okay. It was. So all was well. But also the kids absolutely love them. I’m sure the novelty will wear off but they’ve been wanting a pet for ages and kittens are going to be much easier than a dog! Haha.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #112 on: May 15, 2019, 12:30:18 PM »
Oh Jesus the litter box was the issue for me. My youngest was about 2 and the thought of him fishing out the cat box made me wanna wretch...

Then we had the 4 year old dog...and the thought of him fishing out the cat box made me wanna wretch....

So yeah..no cat. But I have had them in the past when I was growing up etc and they were lovely. Not so lovely as the mommy poop scoop patrol.  ::)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #113 on: May 15, 2019, 02:59:56 PM »
See this is the debate I’m having with myself atm. And luckily I have w few weeks to decide. But the littertray isn’t the nicest thing in the world and it’s a job I could do without. So, do I let the kittens out when they are neutered and jabbed up. Where they would be free to do business outside OR (and it’s a big or) do I have them as house cats. Where they can’t get run over. Unlikely to catch fleas etc. But then I need a litter tray in the house. Decision decisions. Luckily D2 hasn’t even shown interest in the litter tray yet. She has almost killed the smallest one tho by picking them up and throwing her,  but unfortunately for Luxe she keeps coming back to D2 feet almost like she’s saying “again again” haha!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #114 on: May 17, 2019, 01:54:39 PM »
Now before I start my update, can we please remember that Clington was dead set against me getting kittens. His words when I told him were “You better be joking” and “Your firetrucking mad”.

So Clington came over after work yesterday. As per our schedule. I explained I really needed the door putting on the living room, so that I can secure the kittens. At the minute, I’m securing them in the room by turning my coffee table on it’s side and putting a plank of wood on top of that. So it’s certainly not practical long term.

So Clington starts rounding up the girls and he’s in the living room sizing up the door but also watching the kittens. He then takes the kids next door and opens the garage to get the door out and starts getting his tools out to take some of the door off so it can fit. General chit chat but what I have noticed, and it is the utmost slightest of slight notices. Tbf I think I only notice them myself because I update here. Is that he feeds me bits of information and gradually builds it up. Almost like maybe he’s testing me, see if I run and tell X Y and Z or whatever I don’t know but the other week on his Sunday he said “I’ll drop the kids off at X time because I’ve got something to do”. I never said anything to it. The next time we spoke about it he said “oh yeah I’ll bring kids back at X because I have an event that I have to go to. It’s only a few hours in the afternoon”. Then we had the new bike “oh it’s a good bike” followed by “yeah it’s fairly expensive” then followed by “you’d be lucky to find one for less than a grand”. Pointless info for me however it’s all something you would say in one go whereas he’s taking three convos on it.

Anyway I then take over with the door, because well. My house my rules. And I’m getting quite a lot of satisfaction out of doing my own DIY. I let Clington do the things I literally can’t do, but using a sander to file a door I can do! So I do that. I’ve got my headphones on and quite frankly I’m loving life. Clington then gets something from the car. As he’s walking back I see his lips moving and he says something but I can’t hear so I turn the sander off and ask what he said and he just replied “nothing doesn’t matter”. Okay doesn’t matter. Sander back on. It was taking forever using a sander so Clington then looks for a saw.

To use the sander I’ve got the extension cable plugged in the kitchen and my kitchen door open. We tend to use the kitchen door like a front door really but I couldn’t close it cos or the wire to which Clington then says “Watch the cats don’t get out”. I live on a main road which is one of the reasons I’m debating having them as house cats. So I looked at him with my best “WTF” face. I mean, does he think I’m firetrucking stupid? Ofcourse im gonna make sure the tiny kittens don’t end up out and under a bus!

The saw is a big circular saw thing and quite frankly I wasn’t risking loosing a finger so I let Clington take a bit off the top. Before he could use it, it needed charging so whilst waiting I then make a brew and go watch TV. Sitting with my kittens. Clington then starts doing something outside cos the doors still open and everything’s plugged in and I can hear motion. He then comes in the house, pops his head in the living room and watches the kittens. Then I asked what he wanted and he said he would start on the door now but could I come help hold it. So I agree. A little bit of banter and I made a innocent comment that I knew Clington took to be a rude one as I could see that look in his face and he asked what I meant, and I’ve never made such a BS excuse up to try and divert his mind in my whole entire life. This is one topic I refuse to fan flames for!

He then brings the kids back 5 minutes early and said he was bringing them back early so *they* could see the kittens (because 5 minutes makes one hell of a difference doesn’t it). Now the door fits we tried to get it back on and sods firetrucking law it won’t go on. The hinges are now I’m the wrong place and the door frame needs rehinging. FFS. But Clington said he would try and do it Sunday morning. So I’ll take that, judging by how the kittens are atm I think it’ll be pointless by then. They are already escaping the barricades 🤣.

Last night the council emailed the decisions about nursery places. D2 got her place at the school where D5 and D7 go so I screenshotted the email and sent it him. I didn’t add any extra info onto it because what more could I say? But he replied anyway which I guess is odd for him!

Today Clington is working and it’s his night   To see Ow. D2 has an appointment at the hospital. It was a fairly routine appointment but it wasn’t one where we got immediate results so realistically I’m none the wiser until the results come back.I can’t recall if I ever told Clington about it because this is an appointment she has a while ago but they needed to rearrange, and I’m not sure I told him the new date time etc. But we didn’t hear from him today. I won’t drag him to hell for not asking how it went because I’m not 100% sure I told him about the appointment. But I have posted on Facebook about it so when I see him tomorrow I’ll know if he knew or not by what he says.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #115 on: May 18, 2019, 05:06:23 AM »
I need to replace two of my internal doors in the house..all that work has really put me off! I don't have sanders and such so will probably have to pay a guy or something. ::)

How many kittens did you end up getting?
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #116 on: May 18, 2019, 05:21:54 AM »
I genuinely didn’t anticipate how much work it would be! I thought it would be a bit or drilling here. Maybe a bit or sanding there and viola. But nooooo! It’s pointless now, because last night the kittens escaped from the barricade and as I type this I’m lay on my bed with said kittens. So they already have free reign.  Just making sure the bathroom and girls bedrooms door are closed at all times.

I got two. One is 15 weeks, and one is 10 weeks old apparently. They are supposedly cousins but the girl I got them from had them less than a day so I’m a bit unsure about their true heritage so to speak.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #117 on: May 18, 2019, 08:48:38 AM »
Okay so I’m probably a bit sensitive but I’ve asked three friends and they all think it’s weird. So this is how my day went.

My friend (one who has Ow on social media) texts me. We text quite often so it wasn’t anything new. And this is how it goes

F- hey, did you get new pets this week?
Me - yeah I did why
F - Hahahaha thought so
Me - why
F - yesterday Ow got a dog

I mean, it could be a coincidence but I just find it beyond strange that the same week I get kittens. She gets a dog and according to my friend, he says it’s medium sized. So it’s not a puppy and more than likely been rehomed. Even her caption was very similar to mine.

She’s even used a very similar caption to me!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #118 on: May 18, 2019, 01:33:23 PM »
You are really missing golden opportunities to firetruck with her.

I suggest you get a fake bald cap and put it on...say you donated all your hair or something...let everyone congratulate you for doing a good job...then see what she does.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online Treasur

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #119 on: May 18, 2019, 01:43:03 PM »
Or tithing 10% of your income to church
Or training to be a (fill in weird job)
Or planning to climb Everest
Or a second job as a burlesque dancer

Morte is quite right...you and your friends could have lots of fun with this lol.
Actually you could run a small gambling challenge on the side about guessing how many hours it takes ow to replicate...like a loopy ow version of 'spot the ball' ha ha
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

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"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Sunandshade

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #120 on: May 18, 2019, 06:48:02 PM »
The first thing I did after Dday was get a cat my kids have been craving forever but H would not allow. Best thing ever! He’s moved back home now and is having to make peace with it. Can see the kids adore having a pet and to his credit, he has not complained. Consequences!

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #121 on: May 19, 2019, 01:45:14 AM »
I really need to find something don’t I. It’s funny because when I’ve been out shopping with friends that know the situation if I pick up a nice top or skirt or whatever they will literally say “I give it a week from you posting it to her getting it” and we sit doing a count down.

I suppose it’s lucky for me that seeing things she’s posted, seeing her copying me etc doesn’t make me angry any more. It humours me. My friend has given me his log in to his Instagram he gave it me a while back and luckily I’ve never used it yet.

Originally we were doing to get a dog. D2 is on the autistic spectrum and I’ve read a lot about how they can help etc etc. But we never got to the “ready” stage of having a dog. We will still get one. Just probably a few years from now. Whereas in comparison to a dog, the kittens are much much much easier.

What’s funny to note Aswell is, now we all know Clington is clingy AF. About half an hour before he was due to collect kids my friend sent me a screenshot of a quote Ow uploaded. She uploaded this on Thursday - note Thursday was the day he was helping me with the door. The quote said “Stop making excuses for him. He’s knows exactly what he’s doing” funnily enough, my friend went to see Clingtons IG and said he thought he had blocked him so I checked my blocked list and Clington has gone. So he’s completely deactivated his IG. This is the easily 3/4 time he’s done this since being with Ow!

I saw his car pull up on the drive and so he looked at me as he was getting out. He tried smiling at me but it was a weak AF smile. Very forced. So I knew he was in a mood. He comes in. I call the kids. He picks up the bag of their things which was on the side and he says “see you tomorrow” and they all go to Clingtons. Honestly he must have been in the house a minute.

On a side note me and my friends are betting that she’ll call the dog sacha!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #122 on: May 19, 2019, 07:40:46 AM »
Sunday’s update -

So, I’m getting ready and must have left my door unlocked cos  I can hear whistling. I looked out the window. Nobody there. Heard whistling again. So I went downstairs. And Clington was stood there asking what the plan was for the day. I was shocked he was there and asked what he was doing here and he said I left the door unlocked which is worrying because I hadn’t been out this morning so my house would have been locked overnight 😩

The kitten walked past and Clington made a point of watching the kitten. Yuno same kitten he didn’t think I should get. We then “bickered” I wouldn’t say it was arguing but it was more of a bicker but he was beginning to annoy me so it was hard not to be agitated with him. He then said something like “I’m not driving you round” or something like that. Which is clearly a rule Ow has imposed on him because yuno it’s so backwards that he has a issue driving me places (I haven’t even asked!) but wouldn’t have any issue jumping into bed. So it’s clear Ow has told him not to drive me about. Because it wasn’t that long ago he was more than happy taking me Christmas tree shopping. And now I figured I would use this to my advantage and be a stubborn little mule (pathetic and immature I know but it felt satisfying.

Clington then leaves and goes back to his. As the girls have a party today. I then get ready and take the presents over to Clingtons for the party. I also have two blank cards for the D5 and D7 to write. So I go over. I call D5 and D7 and explain what they need to do. During this time Clington is saying things like “What’s the issue?” “What’s wrong?” Etc and I just blank him. Unless he wants to address me by my name then I ain’t playing his games. Eventually he says “oi sacha don’t ignore me” so I said “oh your talking to me” and he says “I’ve been trying for the last ten minutes” and I said “Well if you want to speak to me you need to address me”.

Now here’s where sacha went pure pathetic and immature aha. I got Clington to drive the girls to this party and I walked 🤣 the weather was nice, the walk was nice and scenic. So I walked it. I enjoyed the party with the kids. It was annoying too as I was talking to another mum who was at the party but used to live directly across rhw road from us so she knows me and Clington. I was filling her in over a cuppa like you do and she kept saying “I think you’ll get back together”. Which is all well and good but it’s not a simple breakup and it’s hard explaining to people. Clington picked us up and he demanded I got in the car. So I did. I did think about taking a picture and posting it but I didn’t.

When we arrived home Clington started moving the car seats and I laughed. And said “oh yeah got to hide evidence of your kids. I see out of sight out of mind” he then protested it wasn’t like that he just needed to put the back seats down or something. I didn’t really listen because I didn’t care about his response. I was just being a b!tc# because I could and I was irritated.

What I did notice was Clington left VERY quickly. Like usually he’ll potter about etc. But no he was very quick and gone. Fine by me!

Now to set the scene - I’m a massive nemo fan. I have a nemo tattoo on my ribs. I have many many nemo mugs. And I even uploaded a pic on Snapchat, insta stories and Facebook of me in bed with my cats and a cuppa tea in my nemo mug. I bet you can all guess what I’m gonna say next but here goes. When I was walking to the party I got a text and it was off my friend that said “guess who loves nemo now” and I knew a picture was coming cos I could see the square for it I was just waiting for it to load and YEP YOU GUESS IT. Ow uploaded a picture of her with a cup of juice in a nemo cup!
I’m honestly shocked my friends now wonder if Clington is still with her because he worries about her crazy tendencies?!? Who knows!

So now I’m looking to fake something that she copies haha! But I won’t directly retaliate and post anything about copying or anything like that because I know that’s what she wants.

Im also wondering if she sees what I wrote on here somehow and maybe that’s what prompts the pictures and stuff. I dunno
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #123 on: May 20, 2019, 02:13:49 AM »
I’ve just got to laugh at Clingtons childish sulk after our mini argument thingy last night 🤣

So whenever he’s on day off weather it’s my day or his, he has always always always done the school run. And last night whilst I was still in my stubborn mood I decided I would do the school run myself. When I woke up this morning and opened my kitchen blind, Clingtons car wasn’t on the drive. So he more than likely stayed out all night.

I do the school run and it did take me a bit longer as I let D2 walk it instead of being in the pram. When we got back from the school run Clington was back home and he was parked on his drive as opposed to mine 🤣.

I mean, I could have sworn I was dealing with a 33 year old and not w 3 year old!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #124 on: May 20, 2019, 02:26:17 AM »
Or tithing 10% of your income to church
Or training to be a (fill in weird job)
Or planning to climb Everest
Or a second job as a burlesque dancer

Morte is quite right...you and your friends could have lots of fun with this lol.
Actually you could run a small gambling challenge on the side about guessing how many hours it takes ow to replicate...like a loopy ow version of 'spot the ball' ha ha

Or a garish (but wash-offable - no need to say THAT part) tattoo in a conspicuous location....

Mort, get the LBS to Hades bus fired up... cuz we're ALL going....  ;D

As for OW
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online Mortesbride

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #125 on: May 20, 2019, 04:03:26 AM »
Honestly I would have so much fun in that situation.

I would take the absolute piss out of it.  8)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #126 on: May 20, 2019, 09:01:31 AM »
I’m thinking so desperately cos it needs to be something I can pull off, but I need to pull it off well enough that Clington mentions it to her and she feels compelled to copy. It’s just got to be something that won’t make me look like a twonk in the mean time ha!

So today is D5 sports day. I’m thanking high heavens that D5 and D7 are no longer on the same day. Last year they were both at the same time and it was a nightmare! But it’s D5 today’s and D7 tomorrow.

So around 10:30am I get a knock knock at the door. Surprise surprise it’s Clington. I was stood with my feet next to each other so no furry feline friends could escape and Clington asks what I was doing. I explained keeping the kittens from escaping. He asks about sports day blah blah blah. I then say “D2 is in if you want to say hi” trying to divert the chat back to “Daddy” and not “Clington”. He then says “oh I thought she would be napping?” This early. No! So he comes in. First thing out of his mouth “Where are the kittens”. He plays with D2 a bit x y and z and we have a chit chat. Clington starts telling me about his week. I wasn’t rude but I made it  clear I wasn’t interested that he had to help his elderly relative. He then tells me he hopes this is his last week in work so I said “what?” I mean panic set on cos I’m thinking as is with common on other threads he’s packing in his job x y and z. But he’s looking at a different one. Completely different company (interesting as he works for the same company as Ow!). I also notice that he’s got ANOTHER fresh mark on his hand. It seems to be when he gets “frustrated” he scratches until he bleeds and there is a fresh scab there. So it’s been done recently!

1:40, I notice Clingtons car on the drive so I knock on and tell him me and D2 are going to school for sports day. He says he’ll see us in a minute. So I head on. He turns up about 2 minutes before sports day starts IN A BIG COAT. WTF?!? He walks and stands behind me but doesn’t say anything and I’m talking to one of the mums. Only when I’ve finished my chat so I say “oh hiya”. During sports day were nice and polite to one another. There was one point where I must have been looking at one of the dads too long because Clington noticed and made a comment and I brushed it off. He then was fixated on what dad I was ogling. I wasn’t “ogling” I was just being a bit nosey ha! He then does this charade where he’s saying that he would pretend we were still together. (Again WTF?!?) but then I realised, I guess most of the school mums and dads won’t realise we’re not together. Apart from the ones I talk to all the time etc. So We get D7 - D5 is at a friends and when Clington quizzes me on where she is I say “oh she’s going with L” and he went “Well nobody tells me anything do they!” Funnily enough when D5 is invited to her friends for tea I don’t need to inform you! We take D2 and D7 home.

Once home Clington is his usual self. Again though he searches out the kittens!

What I have noted is, Clington said his new job he is going for, is and I quote better pay and better hours. However, when I told CG and we talked about it. It’s actually not. Currently Clington is working 7-5:30 4 days a week. Then he’s off for 4. And so on. This new job is only marginally more money. Yet he’s working 8-5 Monday to Friday 🤷🏽‍♀️
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #127 on: May 22, 2019, 01:03:03 PM »
So yesterday was “my day” but also D7 sports day. I had assumed the sports day was in the afternoon like it always is but silly mummy didn’t check the newletter because 8:30am whilst I’m still in my PJs. D7 says sports day is the morning. So I check the mums WhatsApp group we have and low and behold it is. So Clington who was over to do the school run helps sort the kids so I can get dressed etc. Very rushed & stressful morning.

When Clington arrived he has £1000 in cash in his pocket (WTF?!?) however instead of putting it in his pocket so nobody could see it. He left some of it hanging out. Just hoping for it to be clocked.

At sports day Clington is very very flirty. He’s acting exactly as he would at the sports day two years ago when we were still a couple. Bearing in mind we are surrounded by people. Now I let him carry on doing what he was doing I never pulled him up at sports day because I wanted to see what he WANTED to do. If that makes sense. I wanted to see how he wanted to act.


D7 is a completely different child to D5. D5 takes sports day leisurely she’s really not bothered if she comes 1st or last. D7 on the other hand only wants 1st and there is a kid in her class who is quite frankly a nasty little b!tc#. She’s picked on D7 and even D5. So I said “come on D7. Kick her in the ankle if you have to. You’ve gotta play dirty” I don’t think D7 could hear me. But that’s when Clington picked up on the play dirty and he went “Play dirty yeah?” And I said “she knows to do what it takes to get what she wants and not give up” and he just had a teenage sulky face on him. Within minutes tho he was back to himself.

D2 was playing with my phone and said “dad” to my screensaver which at the minute is Cardi B haha! So I said “nooo that’s not da da” and Clington said “who is it?” So I said “Queen Cardi B” and then I said “my friends call me Cardi T” and he said “why? Cos of ya tits?” So I looked at him with a unimpressed look. And he said “oh your teeth?” Again I just looked at him. He then said “tbf you do have really nice teeth” I mean I do and I never needed a brace at school like most my classmates but I just laughed considering Ow teeth resemble a horse!

During sports day his mum phoned so he answered it and then came back with “my mum said hi and you’ve got a loud voice. She can hear you through the phone”.

We got in a chat with one of the other mums about types and such. This was a convo me and Clington carried on for a bit once this other mum had gone and I again described Clingtons type to him to which he replied “when people ask me my ideal woman I should just reply “sacha”. Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever bitten my tongue so hard.

When we got home is when I pulled him up on his sports day behaviours. I can’t remember what he said but he said something and I just said “You can firetruck off. You treat me like I’m something on your shoe you have zero respect for me” to which he replied “your probably the person I have the most respect for in my whole life. So your wrong there”. He also admitted that this cash in his pocket wasn’t all his. Only half of it was. Which means for some unknown reason Ow has handed him £500. M U G!!

Off he went with D2. I didn’t see him again until around 6 when he came over and asked for some Pjs for the girls. I was in such a rush that morning that i forgot to pack some so I went to get them. When Clington came in I was doing the kitchen and had to keep putting Luxe (smallest kitten) back on the floor as she kept jumping up to the kitchen windowsill and as I had the windows open I didnt want her escaping.   So when I came back in the kitchen I looked on the window sill and couldn’t see her so I went to hand Clington the Pjs and he’s only firetrucking stood there with her in his arms stroking her. WHAT. THE. FIRETRUCK.

Clington then said he would do the school run in the morning.

Today it got to 8:45 (kids start school at 8:55) and he wasn’t here so I phoned him. He then said he was just leaving his door. About a minute later he came in. Took the girls to school etc. He never popped back in when he returned but I wasn’t bothered.

Around 2pm I noticed his car back on the drive. Usually he does the school run in the afternoon if he’s about, but he hasn’t said if he will or won’t. So at 3pm. He hadn’t mentioned anything and I went and did it myself. Around 3:30 I’m back and Clington comes over. We have a brief chat and from Friday the kids are off school so Clington is asking if we’re going to my mums caravan. I said we didn’t have set plans yet but I also didn’t know because of the kittens to which Clington then said and honestly it’s a good job i was sat down when he said it

“Well I can always come in and feed them change their litter (pause) or BIL can” So then I look at him and he then adds “Well or they can have a sleepover at BILs”

WHAT. THE. FIRETRUCK
I also find it odd that he still refers to that house as BILs and not home. Despite the fact he’s lived there for over a year!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #128 on: May 23, 2019, 01:56:34 AM »


Or a Mid-Lifer... take your pick....
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online sachat3Topic starter

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Re: MLC picture show round 2
« Reply #129 on: May 23, 2019, 01:03:55 PM »
I suppose that’s the thing that I need to get used to. And it’s so bizarre because it’s like even the weird stuff. When I get hard to it I’m like. Okay okay. This is weird but this weird is our new normal. Them it’s like Clington or the universe goes “oh okay your used to that weird let’s crank it up a notch”.

Not really MLC related but yuno when you have those times when you just want to scream WILL SOMEONE GIVE ME A BREAK. Yeah that. So all their lives D5 and D7 have been relatively healthy. Don’t get me wrong they get the common cold or whatever but nothing really major. They have had accidents but again nothing major. D2 on the other hand has always been poorly. She’s currently got literallt so many issues conditions etc. I could list them but that would take a separate thread. She’s got serious things from chiari malformation to relatively manageable things like a bilateral squint. And here we are D5 has a eye test in school. Fairly routine except today I get a call from the hospital they want me to take her in soon as they think she’s loosing sight in her left eye. Arrrrgghhhh!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

 

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