Author Topic: My Story Where Do we fit? All Things New!  (Read 1259 times)

Offline Milly

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My Story Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
« Reply #40 on: October 10, 2019, 12:41:10 AM »
Hi UL, just catching up. I just joined your FB page. Your paintings are full of meaning and love. I hope you do really well selling them.

Your H, although not monster, sounds like he's still in victim mode. God (Mummy) only helps you, while he is jobless, moneyless, debtfull, and miseryfull. But hey, he would have helped if he coulda!
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
« Reply #41 on: October 10, 2019, 01:03:42 AM »
hi UL,

Picking apart H's reply? Easy....



Interesting how he assumes that the Credit Card is a source of free money... until it came time to pay the bills...
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online CallingHeart

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Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
« Reply #42 on: October 10, 2019, 07:55:23 AM »
Hi UL ~
I found and joined your FB group as well. 
I am so sooo soooooooo excited for you !!! Way to rock a repurposed life  8)

I would agree your H is playing the victim. He’s been in that mode for a very long time now. And there’s really no way to know if he’s being honest.  I think what bothers me most about his response is he’s acting like he can’t “help you out”, when in reality he isn’t paying alimony that he owes you.  He owes you the same way he owes his creditors, but his language reflects that you’re the one he can’t “help out”. I’m speculating that he may also hold on to the excuses, after he does get his job, that he has to pay off his own bills, credit cards, blah, blah, blah... not able to help UL out.

I don’t think you can count on him in the future, but you never know.

Meanwhile, you are rocking a repurposed life like no other I’ve seen and following God’s lead !!
Way to go... very inspiring!

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

It's no longer all about MLC!  
Pfffffffftttt !

Offline UnconditionalLoveTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
« Reply #43 on: October 10, 2019, 04:39:04 PM »
WOW! Thank you ladies for joining my page!!!! I am really excited about it and I love that I can repurpose things along side of my repurposing myself.  I am so glad that  have met you ladies here and I get to see a face to go along side all the messages.  Really, a month ago I didn't see me doing something like this it just happened.

Milly thank you so much for joining the page and being supportive of that for me.  I really do appreciate how you have been supportive here as well. 
My Midlife I believe will always be the victim.  I don't see him getting out of that mode.  He has however not been monstering for a few years now. I think he is stuck, stuck with this life he created, stuck with a sick younger woman, stuck that he couldn't figure out how to pay his bills, stuck with not having a solid full-time job, stuck in New Hampshire (sounds like a movie) and stuck in life in general.  I do not expect him to pay me.  However, there was a different tone in this email.  He didn't have to say him would after he gets a job.  He did almost rather it was for real or not seem to want to help if he could. LOL!  This is the first time he's actually said something like that.  But, I don't believe he will but that's not going to stop me from reminding him from time to time. But you almost have to laugh as you did Milly if he could help he would have. LOL!  He is so clueless that all of this and I mean all of this was from his decision and all that I'm going through is because of him. LOL! He really doesn't seem to understand that.

Major...yes I know.  He's in over his head but it's because of the decision he made and I believe he will always see himself as a victim.

Calling Heart
I am so glad you found my page!!!! Thank you for all your support and encouragement.  When my MLCer say "awesome, he also does" I took that a bit deeper.  I felt like that was directed to me not everyone as in Awesome UL, God always seems to pull through for you.  AND he does!  I am glad that my Mlcer still remembers that, sees it and acknowledge it.  To me that was a memory statement.  Because God always got US through so much over the years because I always turned to him.  My MLCer remembers that part about me.

Thank you all!  I am in such a good place right now.  It really took a long time to figure out me.  Praying for you all!

Edited to remove a real name - UM
« Last Edit: Today at 02:52:38 AM by UrsaMajor »
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Offline sachat3

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Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
« Reply #44 on: Today at 01:45:53 AM »
Just catching up.

I also joined your Facebook page.

Again I agree with everyone. He’s still in victim mode, but he’s the victim to circumstance he created.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
« Reply #45 on: Today at 02:56:08 AM »
I also joined up on FB....
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

 

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