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Author Topic: My Story Where Do we fit? All Things New!

M
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My Story Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#60: July 04, 2020, 02:49:47 AM
Hi UL, sorry your health is not great. Hope the treatments don't pull you down too much. Sending you strength and determination to get through them as easily as possible.

Regarding your H answering sorry to your FB memory, it's hard to say what was going through his head. It could be he is saying sorry for not having said he loved you often enough. It could be he's projecting and it's the sorry you should be saying. I would leave him be. It's interesting he's back in your state, broke, living in a very spartan manner. I would give him space to really see where he's at. You've shown him that you are kind and loving, he knows that. Let him figure out his miserable life. Let him reach out to you first. That would be my advice.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

U
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#61: July 04, 2020, 07:04:11 AM
Thanks Milly for responding!  I really appreciate it. Yeah, I know about his head spave.  Who knows.  Lol.  I teally didn't expect him to respond back.  There was no question for him to do so. I was surprised by the sorry from him as that just isn't a word he uses. lol.  He is in stage 4  as I can tell.  He followed the steps in order and is following the 7 year time line.  But...now going through the hardest part because pride and stubbornness is his weakest area and to finish he will have to let go of those.
Yes,  I have left him with good memories.  Now it's time for me to no contact.  He hasn't at any time reached out to me.  I wanted to leave everything on good remembrances.  I can now let go.   Hope all is well with you!!!
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God is with her, she will not fall
Psalms 46:5
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/paintedpraize

s
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#62: July 09, 2020, 01:45:30 AM
Sorry to hear about your health.

It’s so strange that they can say sorry but not elaborate on what they are sorry for? 🤷🏽‍♀️
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

U
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#63: July 10, 2020, 11:34:18 PM
Sachat, lol yes. He's probably thinking it covers everything he's ever done
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God is with her, she will not fall
Psalms 46:5
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/paintedpraize

S
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#64: September 08, 2020, 11:52:04 PM
Just catching up with your thread UL!

Interesting he has actually replied to you!  I have been here for seven - yes 7!!!!!! years and still don't get even a smidgen of a reply from xH.

I am over worrying about what he's doing now, he deserves the horrible life he's built and to be honest, I am too 'evolved' to be bothered.
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"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

U
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#65: Today at 04:54:04 PM
7 years Savoir Faire WOW sorry that he doesn’t reply! 
OK, I have a new update. I am 2 years out from my bankruptcy and I have been pre approved to look for a place.  I can’t believe I am now at that place I thought would never happen.  I am so excited to see my life coming together.
I am taking the money out of the IRA I have from ex.  I am also paying off the taxes that ex owes because I do not want to be glued to him any long.  I have already taken the money and can’t wait to pay off the taxes.

So here’s the new stuff
I can’t ex today. He had to call me back.  He’s definately at a different place.  I called to let him know I was paying off the 2014 taxes.
He was quiet.
I said this is the last straw that has been over me and I need this off my plate.  Also, I need you to start paying me something.  I don’t want to go to court, I don’t want to humiliate you at work with papers and I don’t want  to have you put in jail for all the  things you have not done.  I want us to work this out .  And you will not believe what he said first time he has said anything like this
Yeah, I am at a place I can now send you money. It’s been hard to grow a business and then Covid came but I can said money.  I said can you also pay me back the taxes money too?  he said he could over time.  Asked me the amount.  He asked if I have a paypal.  I said yes, paypal, Venmo, cash app and Zelle. He said lol I can only work paypal.   

I told him I had radiation treatment  this week and he asked me a little about that.  When we got off the phone he said. Sorry about all the stuff you had to go through.
I starting crying and tried to no let him know but couldn’t get the word bye out. 

He’s using sentences now in his sorry.  He really doesn’t know what he put me through.  Sorry right now isn’t the kind of sorry I need but he’s getting closer and closer to understanding. 

He has never said that he would help.  It’s always I don’t have the money this conversation was different.  He is understanding he has a responsibility.  I don’t think they were just word.  Time will tell. He said he gets paid once a month so I’ll know when the money will actually come in. LOL!  I gave him before Christmas.

I think he’s waking up.
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God is with her, she will not fall
Psalms 46:5
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/paintedpraize

 

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