Author Topic: My Story Bits and Pieces  (Read 2779 times)

Online KeepItTogether

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My Story Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2019, 11:22:50 AM »
To be fair this forum is probably more helpful than many therapists out there!  :)

Agreed! My IC was asking me all about HS one day. And she was amazed and said that it was really great to have a support group that went through/was going through exactly what I am.  Tell you what, I am pretty sure HS has saved my life on more than one occasion!
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Online Treasur

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2019, 11:39:08 AM »
Certainly saved my sanity  :)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline AnonTopic starter

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2019, 10:04:40 PM »
Just shaking my head at the latest ridiculousness from my MLCer.  He thinks he can outsmart me.  He should know better - he couldn't before MLC and he still can't, lol. 

A year ago I was shocked and hurt when he tried this but now sh!te like this is no big deal - it goes with MLC.  I didn't even get angry,,,, I laughed and it still brings a smile when I think of it. 

The last week of March H called about something and before we hung up we had a few moments of casual conversation.   I had mentioned a couple of weeks prior that I might be away in June for a few days and again in Sept.  Anyway, during our casual conversation, he says he would like to look after the house and the pets while I am away.  Me, initially happy because I don't have to pay for a pet sitter, said "sure - that would be great - saves me a lot of money and you can cut the lawn while you are here too"  ::)   He asked for my exact dates because he might plan a party one night (we have a great house for entertaining).   I wasn't sure so told him I would let him know but possibly 1st week in June and for a couple of weeks sometime in September.  I could have given him exact dates but something told me to be careful about revealing them.  The dates really are 2 nights in the 2nd week of June and 2+ weeks in September ending on Oct 1. (Tuscany,,, here I come.   Then right after that.... Portland, OR,,, here I come). 

The next week or so,,, I got more and more uneasy about letting him look after the house.  I wondered about the guest list for the party in June and wondered if he planned to fly OW out to stay in MY house, unbeknownst to me.  OW has never been in the house and I know H would LOVE to show her what his hard earned money was capable of buying, since all she saw last year was the tiny 60 yr old suite he was ashamed to be living in.  Nothing like the modern house we still own.   I quickly ruled that hunch out because I would only gone for 2 nights - Sunday and Monday - hardly party nights either, but he didn't know that (remember I was vague).   But then,,,,what about September???  Would he dare then?  Bring her out for much of the time I was away so they could live as a couple in MY house?   Over my dead body, lol....

In case you wonder if I'm overthinking all this, he tried to get her into my house last year.   He asked if I would trade places with him for a few days while his cousin and her husband were out visiting and hotels were super pricey.   I said I would consider (not!), and eventually sent him some private rental info that would be perfect for 2 couples, lol.  He called almost right away and said it's NOT 2 couples - just him and his cousin and her husband.  He swore convincingly that OW would not be there.   Of course, we didn't swap and they stayed in his tiny ancient suite on the east side of the tracks (seriously..).    AND,,,when the cousin and her husband arrived,,, drum roll,,,,,so did the OW.  (I bet that took you all by surprise, right?)   I found out about it, of course.  Eventually he realized I knew all about his little deception even before she arrived.   I never spoke of it to him but he knew ,,, that I knew.  I think that was the beginning of the end of my stand.   I was pretty sure he wouldn't be dumb enough to ever try that again!   And I was dumb enough to think he wasn't dumb enough to try it again.  (Like, duhhh, Anon... really?  :P)

That whole first week after he offered to look after the house and pets,,, I recalled his attempt last year and whether he would dare try it again,,, to get her into our house.  The more I thought of it the more it made sense he would attempt it, if not in June but certainly in Sept when I was gone for over 2 weeks.   So,,, I sped up a plan I had been pondering for awhile,,, I advertised and immediately got a tenant/roommate for the lower level.  $900/mo!! She's perfect and we get on great which is a good thing since we share the kitchen and the outdoor space.  I'm enjoying the company too.   I sent a text to H advising him of the 'good news'  ;D   Less than 10 seconds later he calls.  He didn't exactly sound happy for me - it was obvious he was a bit choked despite the fact that our agreement means we share the $900.  But he had to rein it in otherwise I would wonder why he wasn't thrilled.  And being less than thrilled meant I thwarted some of his plans, I suspect.

Today,,, I find out my hunch was dead on correct.   Within 2 days of my first conversation with him where he offers to stay at the house, he plans and books a trip for OW to come out from Sept 14 - 22.   Hilarious - those are exactly my Tuscany trip dates!  I didn't give him exact dates but he had enough info to suspect I would be gone then.  And now.... where are they going to stay?  He currently lives in a small basement bachelor suite.  So now there are plans for a road trip to the coast and back.   Pricey,,, compared to living free in my house while I'm gone. 

He seems to have gotten over the shock of once again being out smarted by me.   He knows he can't do a thing about it either... who in their right mind would object to getting half of that $900/mo revenue???   







Online Rippedapart

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2019, 12:43:59 AM »
Hi Anon,

I rarely post but I have been following most stories here on HS.

Great news that you have extra income coming in and company is a bonus.

Nice move on your part, I'm sure it stopped your H in his tracks.  At the same time its quite hurtful to think he would bring OW into your home, I suppose he feels "entitled "  I'm lost for words. 

Ripped

Offline Whyus

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #14 on: April 24, 2019, 01:25:56 AM »
Well played Anon and you actually done him a favor too so your still the good guy (to a normal Person) ;)

I didn't deserve what happened to me and my marriage.   None of us deserved it.   My marriage was solid (haha), I had 100% emotional security, and I was happy.   Really happy.  Life was good.   Until it wasn't.    I can't believe I didn't recognize his shallowness and his inability to truly love. 
This, exactly this!!! If anybody had told me 3years ago what XW was upto I would have throat punched them on the spot. She wasnt like that (Whyus was a tool  :o)!
We also has a big detached house with a cellar and 2 garages, 2 cars, pets, healthy Kids, good Jobs and friends, common Hobbys and a plan. We could have both retired at 60, sold the house and bought something smaller, a Bungalow maybe and we would have been sorted. Now its all gone because of some Gymnerd who is 15 years younger and who cant have Kids of his own. A MILF in midlife is just perfect isnt she? She doesnt want Kids, shes done that $h!te and not ist time to party! Wait a Minute, she is married with 2 Kids... who cares, ill Show her my six pack and make some compliments.
None of this is fair, I suspected Nothing at BD, no conversation, nothing! She was already checked out after 6 months of being a double Agent, i was completely blindsided.
Quote
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Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Thunder

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #15 on: April 24, 2019, 02:13:18 AM »
Hi Anon,

I was smiling (maybe smirking) reading your post.
The poor dear didn't know what hit him...he had such grand plans.   ;D

You have good instincts Anon, I would always follow your gut.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline sachat3

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2019, 02:34:35 AM »
Attaching

I love how you outsmart him ha! These MLCers aren’t too clever are they!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2019, 06:11:53 AM »
What's that I smell?  ???

Oh yeah...



Burned MLCER!


You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Whyus

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2019, 06:21:30 AM »
 ;D now morte knows how to insert Gifs it may get even more interesting around here  :D

I do love how you stitched him up though Anon, class! :)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online KeepItTogether

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Re: Bits and Pieces
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2019, 09:42:18 AM »
Nicely played Anon. I am very impressed!

Also really impressed with Morte's gif!!

So excited for Tuscany!
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

 

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