Author Topic: My Story A Pink fridge moment III.  (Read 2367 times)

Offline Rising Phoenix

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My Story Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #80 on: May 14, 2019, 08:16:03 AM »
Same with the job part her too Milly, my xH has lost everything else as well.  The only similarity to the 'old' life is where he works.

House gone, children gone, wife gone, life gone.  Only thing he gained is ow ;D ;D

Savvy, same here, lost all except job and has ow. Nearly lost job. No house soon, no wife, no kids, no dog and no immediate family. I have that and I am grateful I do. Xx
Me 51
H52
Married still, 22yrs
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #81 on: May 14, 2019, 09:39:04 AM »
Isn't it so strange how they can compartmentalize in favor of their jobs? My H is the same. I am not sure he is technically a "mess" but there are definitely some financial issues. Who knows Milly? Could be anything.  I'm betting on financial issues, but you just never know. My H used to be the most cautious driver and rarely sped. He drives a giant SUV. Well, I have that Life 360 ap on S12's phone (so I always know where he is)  and it clocks the speed of the vehicle he is in. H was driving 70 down a city street the other night! Speed limit was 30. Craziness.

Of course, it also seems that your H's OW invites the drama, b/c she IS drama. So I wouldn't be surprised if it were somehow related to her. Not that it matters...of course. But well, we are human after all.
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #82 on: May 14, 2019, 09:01:56 PM »
I am also grateful I don't get into a car with xH anymore.  He stayed home for 18 months after BD and about six months in, started driving like a maniac.  He would almost side swipe the cars in the next lane and when he  needed to come to a stop, he would speed up to the car in front and jam on the brakes just before he hit them.  My nerves were already shot from walking on eggshells with him all the time and I didn't dare criticize his driving but I did need to close my eyes a lot of the time.  He seemed clueless that he was a danger.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Online MillyTopic starter

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #83 on: May 15, 2019, 12:22:41 AM »
Funny you guys are mentioning the reckless driving. For a couple of years before BD, my H started driving the way you have described. I don't know if he only did it when I was in the car, but I remember one time, he sped up to a tight corner, getting faster and faster, that I thought he had decided to kill himself and me with him. He would purposefully drive in the middle of the road as we approached corners, and overtake right before them. I could feel his intense anger those times. I can see that this anger could come out in other situations, too. Especially as Kit says, since his OW invites drama.

Savvy and Rising, my H, just like yours, is one of those MLCers who literally blew up his own life at BD. Like yours, mine has: no money, no house, no wife, no kids, no dog, no winery, no respect from the community, lots of debt, lots of court cases against him, lots of people angry at him. On the plus side he has an OW and lots of teenage clothes. That seems to be enough for him still, as he keeps going down this path of destruction.

Especially with this latest information about someone suing my H (apart from me), it just shows me how he is still convinced that he is not responsible for the mess he's in. He doesn't appear to be doing anything to improve his life. The only solutions he is still coming up with is suing me and acting like a victim.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #84 on: May 15, 2019, 12:36:07 AM »
The driving thing seems to be a common thread... STBX was not an angry driver but she was (and is) a hazard..... She was never a good driver but it did get worse once MLC kicked in. Her perception (depth and so on) was totally off, she never looked ahead to anticipate when other drivers could or would do so she was always reacting to the immediate events. Once we were going somewhere and she wanted to get on the highway going north, crossed over the intersection to go south (perfectly reasonable), approached the bridge going over the highway (the on-ramp was on the other side of the bridge...)  and then turned off immediately on a different road because she "couldn't find the on-ramp." Uhmmmmm.... It was on the other side of the bridge going over the highway like the HUGE 10 foot by 20 foot sign on the side of the road said....

Then she got snotty with me because I didn't tell her. I just said that she was driving, she said was in control and hadn't wanted my input so I just let her get on with it and that she couldn't complain that I was treating her like she was dumb and telling her how to drive and then complain that I didn't say anything. It did not work that way.... She looked at me like  :o
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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Offline Sunandshade

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #85 on: May 15, 2019, 06:54:52 AM »
My H also started driving like a maniac, muttering under his breathe like a mad man, I was sure he was trying to kill us all.

Offline Shining Star

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #86 on: May 15, 2019, 08:29:37 AM »
I am laughing because my H actually - wait for it......  bought a red corvette.  That was bad enough, but he would gun the engine at every stop light so that people would stare at us.  Then he would look at me and say "did you see that guy looking at us?"  Yes, I did - and how embarrassing.  He has since sold it.  Kept it for only 2 years.  I think he realized he was a cliché.  The other strange behavior was he started flirting with waitresses that were in their 20s (or younger).  He had never been like that, but it just manifested into a "thing."  I tried to talk to him, and of course he said I was crazy.  We had dinner out with the girls one night (who are in their 20s) and he did it.  Both of the kids made a negative comment to him that he was gross.  He said " what - I am just being friendly.  I am always this way."  Umm - actually you have never been like that ......  Otherwise, he looks normal.  Only blew up his marriage and family. Appears to be soaring in his new life with OW, no financial problems or excessive drinking to my knowledge.  I am not in the loop anymore, but if he is doing crazy stuff, it is not around the kids or I would hear about it.
H:56, I am 54
BD: March 2014, Left Sept 2014, Back Nov 2014
Left again in February 2015.  Asked for D on 9/22/15
Said he was "sure" he wanted a D in Dec 2015; 
Admitted long term affair - May 14, 2017 - says he is in love with the "symptom" but wants to build a relationship with me with "clear expectations" WHATEVER THAT MEANS!  Settlement Agreement signed 9/20/17.
Divorce final 3/14/18.
NC - by choice - 1/2018

Online Mortesbride

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #87 on: May 15, 2019, 12:36:58 PM »
Shining that is funny you say that about the waitresses.

A few months back Beast made some comment about OW not being very happy when he is flirty. Of course I didn't go into details and just let him ramble, but it did get me wondering who he was flirting with when they were out that she saw it...  :o

He never flirted with anyone in my presence all through our marriage until about 6 months before BD. We were at a shop and the cashier girl was all ''Oh my screen has froze up can you help me?!'' batting eyelashes....he then tries to act like he knows what he is doing, spends 5 minutes trying to sort it, then gets embarrassed because he can't figure it out...it is only as he walks away that he realises this whole thing just played out in front of his wife.  ???

I may or may not have mocked him for it in the car.  ::)
« Last Edit: May 15, 2019, 12:37:59 PM by Mortesbride »
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Anjae

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #88 on: May 15, 2019, 01:07:52 PM »
Cousin who had MLC had the reckless driving before he become totally depressed and when he was able to star driving after rock bottom. His driving was insane, dangerous and he was always shouting at others drives. No one wanted to be in the car with him.

We never owned a car and crisis Mr J does not have one. When he was still working for his pre-MLC company he would drive the company car once or twice a day during office hours. No idea how his driving was.


Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: A Pink fridge moment III.
« Reply #89 on: May 15, 2019, 11:50:02 PM »
It seems to be part of being 'clueless'.  They can't see their driving is bad even when others are in danger, so they also can't understand why the LBS gets hurt/angry when they take us to court for stupid things.  Their perception gauge has been turned off.

About four months after BD, my H and I and our neighbors went for a meal to a local pub.  There was a beautiful painting on the wall of a young woman standing draped only in a sheer veil, long flowing blonde hair.  H began making lewd comments and the female neighbor told H she was leaving if he didn't cut out the crap ;D  The neighbor husband was just rolling his eyes as H had never commented on another woman before and this was plain creepy.  H was clueless and giggled lie a teenage boy.  We were all embarrassed but he couldn't see anything wrong. Totally cray cray.  Of course he drove home at the end of the night like a racing car driver ::)
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

 

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