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Author Topic: My Story Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair

s
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My Story Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#20: May 08, 2019, 02:10:27 AM
For me personally
I do gifts from the kids and it’s usually a sentimental gift. So this year for Father’s Day I’ll be getting him hand made cards from D7 D5 and I’ll buy D2 one. Then his “gift” is a picture of all three of them in matching outfits (it’s a lovely pic) and I’m going to frame it or get it put on a phone case for him or something like that. 
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#21: June 19, 2019, 08:46:24 AM
HI everyone,

   It's been a while since I have written. I haven't had much of anything going on in MLC land. I had my first face to face with my wife at my SD graduation and I did great. Much better than I thought I would for sure. It did send me spinning for a few days but ultimately I pulled it off with a genuine smile on my face.

  I have had a lot of contact with the step kids over the last few days. They all seem to realize there mom has a problem internally. I try not to talk about it with them but it does get brought up briefly about being friends.

  My response was I can't be friends until she realizes what she did was not okay. I feel that if I am friends that it sends the wrong signal. Ultimately I do miss my friend, she was my best friend.
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Together 12 yrs Married 5
5 kids 3- Step (21) (20) (18) Two together ( 8 ) (9)
BD1 March 2018 - I wish I could give you more of what you need
BD2 Aug 2018 - I want a divorce sent by text ILWYBNILWY

O/M Discovered Nov-18

D
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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#22: June 22, 2019, 11:08:56 PM
I get what you mean about missing your friend, that's been the hardest part for me to accept.  It does sound like you've done a great job at making a life for yourself.  You're out there meeting new people and staying busy.  Most importantly, your kids are your priority.  That is what really matters.  Keep taking care of yourself!  Sadly, this does seem to be a very long journey for all of us so just keep doing what you are doing!!
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Married 1997
BD: 9/14/17
Separated on and off for two years
Latest move home 9/1/19
Working on reconciliation one minute and divorce the next
Two Sons - 20 and 17

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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#23: July 10, 2019, 06:57:48 AM
     HI everyone,

  I wanted to hear your advice. My IC finally let me talk about what I think is going on with my wife. I am convinced it's an MLC but my I/C seemed to think she should get her hormones checked. Should I bring the subject up ? Should I have someone else ?
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Together 12 yrs Married 5
5 kids 3- Step (21) (20) (18) Two together ( 8 ) (9)
BD1 March 2018 - I wish I could give you more of what you need
BD2 Aug 2018 - I want a divorce sent by text ILWYBNILWY

O/M Discovered Nov-18

b
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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#24: July 12, 2019, 03:34:31 AM
Hi Father5, That would likely not go down well. Be seen as trying to "fix" her.
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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#25: July 12, 2019, 09:13:38 AM
Yes I agree that's the thought I was leaning towards ! It's her circus her monkeys.
She did send me a text yesterday for the first time with her and the kids at the park.
This is the only nice text we have had that wasn't about kids or finances. When I say kids I mean the business side of the kids.
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Together 12 yrs Married 5
5 kids 3- Step (21) (20) (18) Two together ( 8 ) (9)
BD1 March 2018 - I wish I could give you more of what you need
BD2 Aug 2018 - I want a divorce sent by text ILWYBNILWY

O/M Discovered Nov-18

F
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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#26: July 12, 2019, 10:08:44 AM
 I’m not sure what country you are in, but where I live any debt she gets into is your responsibility as well in a divorce.  So if you have not done so already, I recommend some sort of separation agreement saying you are each responsible for your own debt, and which debt is shared etc.  Once we signed ours I had so much more peace about h spending, if he is.  In your case it seems like hormones could also play a part with w.
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Married 20 years
Husband is 43
Me-39
4 kids 6-15 years old

BD-October 2018-ILYBNIL, wants a divorce, this after I found out about OW 1(EA), OW2(PA) no longer together.  I believe he is single. 
April 2019 He got an apartment and moved out.
Oct 2019-Apologized for a years worth of monster behavior.  Still wants to start divorce this Spring, is distant, but friendly.  Tries more with kids, but mostly just helps haul them around(superficial).
Spring 2019 H agreed to put off the divorce another school year to keep the kids and I from moving back to TX.
2020-He has continued to help out when asked and be polite.  I do think he questions his choices at times.  I do not believe he has OW.

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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#27: September 11, 2019, 09:05:58 AM
 HI Everyone,

That I would journal a bit.

  My W has reached out to my Uncle who lives with my parents about seeing our dog before she passes. My dog is really old an my mom took her when we moved off the mainland.

 My mom called me to ask what my thoughts where and I told her it's her decision. My mom was a little offended that she didn't ask about her Cancer treatments and how they are going. But I have tried to explain MLC to her but she doesn't understand.

  My W hasn't responded  and I doubt she will. As this will be to much pressure for her to deal with. We don't talk ever only about the kids so we almost have no communication for the last year.

  I am healing and GAL really well. I still play tennis a few days a week surf and do some yoga. I am seeing an IC about dealing with the shame I feel and past issues. Over all I feel pretty good and starting to see that I am going to be okay one way or another.

  Thank you all for being here I don't know what I would have done without you.

God Bless you all !
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Together 12 yrs Married 5
5 kids 3- Step (21) (20) (18) Two together ( 8 ) (9)
BD1 March 2018 - I wish I could give you more of what you need
BD2 Aug 2018 - I want a divorce sent by text ILWYBNILWY

O/M Discovered Nov-18

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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#28: September 12, 2019, 07:28:11 AM
Well I got served yesterday. I am doing okay
I guess I expected it but it still shocking. My wife independently wealthy yet she asked for almost all of what I have. Even if I only give half of what she is asking for I will be so financially devastated that I'll have to file bankruptcy. This is a mess the woman I knew and loved would hw e never done something like this to anyone let alone the person she loved the most and the father of her children. I am crushed
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Together 12 yrs Married 5
5 kids 3- Step (21) (20) (18) Two together ( 8 ) (9)
BD1 March 2018 - I wish I could give you more of what you need
BD2 Aug 2018 - I want a divorce sent by text ILWYBNILWY

O/M Discovered Nov-18

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Re: Wife is gone wondering if it's an Exit affair
#29: September 12, 2019, 07:46:00 AM
Oh no. So sorry F5. So, so, sorry.

My wife filed last week, so I know how crushing it is. Even if you're OK and in your rational mind, it's still unsettling.

It sounds to me like you need to put on your business hat for a while. Not just for yourself and your own future, for the sake of the kids. They need a parent who can take care of them emotionally and financially.

You will make it through the day, and tomorrow. You're going to be OK.

Take care of yourself.
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"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Together 28 years, married 27
Two adult kids, ours

BD #1: 2016 - EA
BD #2: 2018 - FA
W moved out - June 2019
OM#3 - July 2019
W asks for divorce - August 2019
Divorce final - September 2019
Card-carrying member of the Iffer Party

My thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11537.new#new

 

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