Author Topic: My Story Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!  (Read 1844 times)

Offline KeepItTogetherTopic starter

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My Story Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #100 on: May 15, 2019, 10:51:46 AM »
OMG Roo--the wine!!! That is horrific! And yes, that is something H would do, and probably does....except with OW now. So yay me!

And gay dolphins? Dying! Thank you all for making me chuckle.

This am I decided that on my BDay I was going to count my blessings. And I did. And I even said a little prayer for H b/c I know he is in a bad place and I am fortunate to not be there.  I must have had 30 texts this am from friends and family. And then to see your sweet Bday messages too.  And of course got a huge hug from the best Bday gift ever, S12. My heart is full.

Got into work this am to Champs (they know me well) and mini cupcakes. What a way to start the work day!   I just received this text from H's sister. "Happy BDay KIT. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. You are a wonderful mother, friend and best SIL. I am so sorry for what you have been through over the past years, but we love you dearly and will always be here by your side. xoxo"

So yes. Counting my blessings. Focusing on what I HAVE not what I have LOST.  Oh well, I did get a "Happy birthday" message from H this am with some fancy graphic thing. I was nice and said thanks.  Most of me wanted to ignore. But I didn't ignore anyone else and didn't want to make H special in that regard. Not today.

Thank you my friends. I truly appreciate all of you.
Me 47
H 46
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline Acorn

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #101 on: May 15, 2019, 11:09:24 AM »
Happy Birthday, KIT! 
Better late than never. 

Yes, I wholeheartedly agree, the gratitude list is the one to focus on. 
BB said, ‘what you focus on gets bigger.’   Can you imagine the size of the ‘lost’ list if you were to perpetually focus on anger, bitterness and victimhood?  I do not envy anyone who does that...

I’m so glad for you that you are at this envious stage of healing and growing. 
I wish you another year of further healing and growing. 

You were being the bigger person by acknowledging H’s message.
Good for you!

A thousand hugs for the birthday girl!
Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Online Milly

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #102 on: May 15, 2019, 11:11:29 AM »
Oh, Kit, so happy to hear your Birthday day is full of good wishes, and cup cakes, and CHAMPS, and messages from an in-law, and even a message from Mcteen! Don't you just love it when you have no expectations and are foreseeing a big bum day, and then all the people in your life want to make sure you know they care. Loved to read about your day so far!

I hope your dinner is fantastic and that you feel totally pampered! So happy to know you and have your Kitness in my world!
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Offline Shining Star

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #103 on: May 15, 2019, 11:51:32 AM »
Hooray!  It is your birthday and I think that the fact that you have your son today AND you got such a beautiful message from SIL - those are true gifts to cherish.  Nothing else is really important, except maybe the cupcakes :)
H:56, I am 54
BD: March 2014, Left Sept 2014, Back Nov 2014
Left again in February 2015.  Asked for D on 9/22/15
Said he was "sure" he wanted a D in Dec 2015; 
Admitted long term affair - May 14, 2017 - says he is in love with the "symptom" but wants to build a relationship with me with "clear expectations" WHATEVER THAT MEANS!  Settlement Agreement signed 9/20/17.
Divorce final 3/14/18.
NC - by choice - 1/2018

Offline Music45

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #104 on: May 15, 2019, 03:14:22 PM »
Happy birthday KiT. Glad you've found your blessings to count and hope you have many more to come. You're clearly loved by some wonderful people.
Hang in there.
Me: 50
H: 51
S:26 D:19 [They're his kids. I'm Step Mum. They both live with us - though D at Uni]
BD: April 2016
Many false returns.
Effectively moved out Nov 2017 [works away from home. Home occasional weekends]
Moved out full time: July 2018 after he renewed contact with OW.
OW: old school friend lives 200+ miles away. No idea of current status of this relationship.

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #105 on: May 15, 2019, 03:22:44 PM »
Did you buy yourself some new shoes as a birthday gift? 

Hope your day was fabulous. 
After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Offline Anon

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #106 on: May 15, 2019, 06:31:19 PM »
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIT!   Sounds like its been awesome so far!  The love coming your way is wonderful and you deserve all of it!   Enjoy your day  :)


Offline 9393roo

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #107 on: May 15, 2019, 06:34:47 PM »
Happy Birthday KIT! 

I'm so glad you are finding joy all around you.  You sound like you have a tribe that is on your side, that is awesome! 
Husband 53
Me 53
Kids 3 sons 27,25.22 1 daughter 18
BD #1 Spring 2016
BD #2 Winter 2017
married 30 years.  Together 32
H never moved out except 3 weeks after BD #1
OW 30 year single mom employee-He says EA only I don’t believe him.
He is working on things and far from being cooked.

Offline heroIam

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #108 on: May 15, 2019, 06:39:20 PM »
Happy birthday again  ;)
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline Upintheair

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Re: Happy 3rd (BD) Anniversary to Me!
« Reply #109 on: May 16, 2019, 12:03:03 AM »
Happy Birthday, Kit!
What a nice message you received from your sil.
"Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached."
Simone Weil
Bd: 03-2015


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