Author Topic: My Story Beauty into Beast 12  (Read 1289 times)

Offline MortesbrideTopic starter

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My Story Beauty into Beast 12
« on: May 03, 2019, 02:19:00 AM »
Update on last thread.

I only made this thread for replies so the post police don't get me.  8)


Previous Thread:
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10791.0
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline sachat3

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2019, 03:01:01 AM »
Hahaha staying with you!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2019, 03:08:04 AM »


Darn.... So close
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online One day at a time

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2019, 05:09:07 AM »
Ha ha good escape Morte!  ;)

Interesting what's happening with Beast and MIL.. I do wonder how things are going between my H and his FOO. It was strange for him to leave the country and I know FIL and MIL are not happy about it. H always bent over backwards for them and after BD1 it was obvious to me that his loyalty went completely from me to them..His move really makes me wonder and I have no insight into what's happening at all.. I wish I did but maybe I'm better off not knowing because I'm not as detached as you are!

What makes me laugh though is that Beast is really behaving like a teenager, ignoring MIL and sneaking around so she doesn't him  ::) I admire you for giving it 0% of your brain space.. You are right, not your circus!
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2019, 07:08:22 AM »
Shifting gears here a little bit.

So today I took the kids to the park after school, with my friend S's granddad and her son. S is at work so her grandad picks her son up, and he is best friends with my S7. Anyway we are at the park having polite chit chat...and because me and S are good friends the granddad knows a sorta overview of my situation but I don't know how much of the details he knows.

Anyway so we get to talking about my University, and what I am going to do when my youngest goes to school. We get into a whole conversation, about what my career adviser told me, and what I want to do...but also that I have to keep it realistic given my current life situation. My options (from the career adviser) were the following:

1. Get some minor certificate in teaching to allow me to become a local college lecturer.
2. Get a different qualification (2 years) to allow me to teach at primary or secondary level.
3. Entry level position in laboratory work (might need to do a free year somewhere to get experience).
4. Obtaining a research style position somewhere, which can be hard to come by, and pretty competitive.
5. Continue my studies to get a Masters, Phd, or if I am feeling really ambitious (and I manage a First or 2:1 degree) med school.  :o

All of these are possibilities for me and easy to do...if you don't factor in the now single mom of three part.  >:(

Anyway, whilst I have had the kids I have done a few jobs from home including Tutoring High School age kids for their National 5's in Math and Science. I have also worked on a website creating content for readers and the like...but anyway it is hard to find a decent job working from home.

So I am faced with trying to figure out how I am going to work out childcare for three kids, particularly with all the holidays and things, when I only get 2 days off a month.  :o

Add on the fact that currently I am on income support (you know since my husband firetrucked off with his pay check  ::) ) but that is only until youngest is 5 and goes to school. Then I am expected to get up and get employed, which quiet frankly I agree with. I never planned to be in this situation, and I don't plan to stay here, and I am grateful that there is a system for women who find themselves here. But it is a limited time offer. I need a plan for when son goes to school, and the income support will be removed. I still have a mortgage to pay after all.

So realistically looking at those options... 1 and 2 are okay, but they would be a ''settling'' for me. I am still going to have a 1-2 year period unemployed while I get a teaching certificate, and while I am sure I can manage I am not sure my heart is in teaching so to speak. Frankly I find my three kids irritating at times, so I can't imagine being in a room with 30 at once.  :-[

3 and 4 are another possibility that intrigues my geeky side, but they are the type of jobs that might be hard with three kids. If you work in a laboratory, or helping in a research project, you are likely a 9-5 er and not going to get much leeway for kids being off sick, or school holidays...or the like. Since I don't have a reliable partner to help pick up the slack in emergencies, and no family around that is risky but possibly doable. The competition for these might be pretty high, and even with my grades and degree employers will look at me with a ''- she has school age kids'' mentality. They say they won't but let's be realistic, if you have a 35 year old single dude with a pass, and a 32 year old mom of three with a distinction...as an employer you are gonna see the well qualified mom as a liability for ''days off sick/family emergencies/ unable to do overtime'''. Just the way it is.

5. Still something I want to do, but might not be feasible at this point in my life. Further study is great but it isn't going to pay my mortgage. :-\

So this is the discussion we are having while the kids are playing at the park.

Then next thing I know he is telling me how he used to work for the University I study with. That after I get my degree I could apply to be an assistant lecturer there, work from home and get on my feet financially, and then because you work for them you get post graduate studies at reduced cost!

Honestly you could have blown me off the bench. I can not believe I never even thought about that, nor did the career advisor! The first thing I did after getting home and feeding the kids was to start researching it. Can I actually work there? What do I need? Yada yada.

Turns out I CAN.  ;D

Once I get my degree next year, I could apply to become an assistant lecturer (with a 2 year supervised probationary period), work flexibly from home, and get income based on the number of modules I sign up for.

I think it might be a slow start, as you probably want to get 1 year of it under your belt before taking on to many...but I think I could easily do it and pick it up really fast. Being a student on the other side I know a lot of what they must do. It isn't so much of a day to day job, as you have an influx of 30 assignments you have to mark in 2 weeks, you have to set up online lectures...that type of thing.

Anyway I am sorta pumped because I think I would be really good at it, I can work from home, pick up as much workload as I can manage.... and if a kid is home sick it won't make a difference!

Then maybe once my 2 year probationary thing is sorted, I will be able to continue on with a Master's or Phd and get the fees waved or at 85% discount.

Hello new 5 year plan.  8)

 
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2019, 07:23:40 AM »


A picture is worth 1000 words...
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online Treasur

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2019, 09:02:58 AM »
Fantastic gift from the universe right there, my friend
wowser  :)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Tyks

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2019, 09:29:47 AM »
Well I can't top UM's gifs but that is wonderful news. See, things do work out regardless of the mcler !
Me 49
Him 49
22 years together - Married 20
BD1 - August 26, 2016 - ILYBINILWY
BD 2 - August 28, 2016 - OW discovered EA - Kicked him out
D16 D19
April 2017 - Legal Separation Agreement
August 2017 - I filed for divorce
Divorce final February 12 2018

Offline sachat3

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2019, 10:21:20 AM »
I understand your struggle or trying to find work around kids so for you to find the most perfect thing for you is amazing!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online hopeandfaith

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2019, 04:11:13 PM »
Love that!  So happy for you Morte. Giddy up!!!
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D19, D17 and S15

 

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