Author Topic: My Story Beauty into Beast 12  (Read 1292 times)

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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My Story Beauty into Beast 12
« on: May 03, 2019, 02:19:00 AM »
Update on last thread.

I only made this thread for replies so the post police don't get me.  8)


Previous Thread:
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10791.0
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2019, 03:01:01 AM »
Hahaha staying with you!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2019, 03:08:04 AM »


Darn.... So close
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online One day at a time

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2019, 05:09:07 AM »
Ha ha good escape Morte!  ;)

Interesting what's happening with Beast and MIL.. I do wonder how things are going between my H and his FOO. It was strange for him to leave the country and I know FIL and MIL are not happy about it. H always bent over backwards for them and after BD1 it was obvious to me that his loyalty went completely from me to them..His move really makes me wonder and I have no insight into what's happening at all.. I wish I did but maybe I'm better off not knowing because I'm not as detached as you are!

What makes me laugh though is that Beast is really behaving like a teenager, ignoring MIL and sneaking around so she doesn't him  ::) I admire you for giving it 0% of your brain space.. You are right, not your circus!
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2019, 07:08:22 AM »
Shifting gears here a little bit.

So today I took the kids to the park after school, with my friend S's granddad and her son. S is at work so her grandad picks her son up, and he is best friends with my S7. Anyway we are at the park having polite chit chat...and because me and S are good friends the granddad knows a sorta overview of my situation but I don't know how much of the details he knows.

Anyway so we get to talking about my University, and what I am going to do when my youngest goes to school. We get into a whole conversation, about what my career adviser told me, and what I want to do...but also that I have to keep it realistic given my current life situation. My options (from the career adviser) were the following:

1. Get some minor certificate in teaching to allow me to become a local college lecturer.
2. Get a different qualification (2 years) to allow me to teach at primary or secondary level.
3. Entry level position in laboratory work (might need to do a free year somewhere to get experience).
4. Obtaining a research style position somewhere, which can be hard to come by, and pretty competitive.
5. Continue my studies to get a Masters, Phd, or if I am feeling really ambitious (and I manage a First or 2:1 degree) med school.  :o

All of these are possibilities for me and easy to do...if you don't factor in the now single mom of three part.  >:(

Anyway, whilst I have had the kids I have done a few jobs from home including Tutoring High School age kids for their National 5's in Math and Science. I have also worked on a website creating content for readers and the like...but anyway it is hard to find a decent job working from home.

So I am faced with trying to figure out how I am going to work out childcare for three kids, particularly with all the holidays and things, when I only get 2 days off a month.  :o

Add on the fact that currently I am on income support (you know since my husband firetrucked off with his pay check  ::) ) but that is only until youngest is 5 and goes to school. Then I am expected to get up and get employed, which quiet frankly I agree with. I never planned to be in this situation, and I don't plan to stay here, and I am grateful that there is a system for women who find themselves here. But it is a limited time offer. I need a plan for when son goes to school, and the income support will be removed. I still have a mortgage to pay after all.

So realistically looking at those options... 1 and 2 are okay, but they would be a ''settling'' for me. I am still going to have a 1-2 year period unemployed while I get a teaching certificate, and while I am sure I can manage I am not sure my heart is in teaching so to speak. Frankly I find my three kids irritating at times, so I can't imagine being in a room with 30 at once.  :-[

3 and 4 are another possibility that intrigues my geeky side, but they are the type of jobs that might be hard with three kids. If you work in a laboratory, or helping in a research project, you are likely a 9-5 er and not going to get much leeway for kids being off sick, or school holidays...or the like. Since I don't have a reliable partner to help pick up the slack in emergencies, and no family around that is risky but possibly doable. The competition for these might be pretty high, and even with my grades and degree employers will look at me with a ''- she has school age kids'' mentality. They say they won't but let's be realistic, if you have a 35 year old single dude with a pass, and a 32 year old mom of three with a distinction...as an employer you are gonna see the well qualified mom as a liability for ''days off sick/family emergencies/ unable to do overtime'''. Just the way it is.

5. Still something I want to do, but might not be feasible at this point in my life. Further study is great but it isn't going to pay my mortgage. :-\

So this is the discussion we are having while the kids are playing at the park.

Then next thing I know he is telling me how he used to work for the University I study with. That after I get my degree I could apply to be an assistant lecturer there, work from home and get on my feet financially, and then because you work for them you get post graduate studies at reduced cost!

Honestly you could have blown me off the bench. I can not believe I never even thought about that, nor did the career advisor! The first thing I did after getting home and feeding the kids was to start researching it. Can I actually work there? What do I need? Yada yada.

Turns out I CAN.  ;D

Once I get my degree next year, I could apply to become an assistant lecturer (with a 2 year supervised probationary period), work flexibly from home, and get income based on the number of modules I sign up for.

I think it might be a slow start, as you probably want to get 1 year of it under your belt before taking on to many...but I think I could easily do it and pick it up really fast. Being a student on the other side I know a lot of what they must do. It isn't so much of a day to day job, as you have an influx of 30 assignments you have to mark in 2 weeks, you have to set up online lectures...that type of thing.

Anyway I am sorta pumped because I think I would be really good at it, I can work from home, pick up as much workload as I can manage.... and if a kid is home sick it won't make a difference!

Then maybe once my 2 year probationary thing is sorted, I will be able to continue on with a Master's or Phd and get the fees waved or at 85% discount.

Hello new 5 year plan.  8)

 
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2019, 07:23:40 AM »


A picture is worth 1000 words...
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online Treasur

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2019, 09:02:58 AM »
Fantastic gift from the universe right there, my friend
wowser  :)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Tyks

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2019, 09:29:47 AM »
Well I can't top UM's gifs but that is wonderful news. See, things do work out regardless of the mcler !
Me 49
Him 49
22 years together - Married 20
BD1 - August 26, 2016 - ILYBINILWY
BD 2 - August 28, 2016 - OW discovered EA - Kicked him out
D16 D19
April 2017 - Legal Separation Agreement
August 2017 - I filed for divorce
Divorce final February 12 2018

Online sachat3

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2019, 10:21:20 AM »
I understand your struggle or trying to find work around kids so for you to find the most perfect thing for you is amazing!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline hopeandfaith

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2019, 04:11:13 PM »
Love that!  So happy for you Morte. Giddy up!!!
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D19, D17 and S15

Offline PJ Ames

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2019, 10:25:29 PM »
Following along with your further adventures MB. Wouldn't miss them!
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Married 1991
S: 24, D: 21 both doing great.

BD #1: June, 2016 - discovered EA with co-worker
BD #2: November 2018 - discovered online relationship with dude she met playing video games; she has never met him in person.
5-day separation (she left), November, 2018
W is trying (a little), but has no remorse. Nowhere near fully-cooked.

Online Whyus

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #11 on: May 04, 2019, 01:42:03 AM »
Awesome morte. The Future is bright and yours.. 8)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Milly

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2019, 02:33:00 AM »
Oh, Morte, I'm so excited about your future!! I'm with plan Granddad and plan 5!!!!!!!!!

You are just awesome as UM says! Not only funny as hell but brainy too! I feel you're my child, I'm soooo excited for this plan that might get you everything. And you sure deserve it!

They will write a movie about you one day!
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #13 on: May 04, 2019, 06:35:10 AM »
Thanks for all the support, and to my new virtual mom Milly.  :-* ;D

I would be an awesome movie.  8) I would have to have a super cool, funny, no nonsense heroine play me. Somewhere between Captain Marvel in looks and bravery and Amy Schumer for laugh-ability.  ;D

Anyway...

I had text Beast asking him if he could pick the kids up on his way home from work (you know since he would be out driving anyway, and it would save me driving the kids over and back...#moreconvenient). He made a joke about fitting them all in the toy car, I said ''Well you did it for bowling'' and his next response was ''Are you unwell?''  :o like...I have to be sick for you to collect your own fecking kids?!  ???  Anyway I text ''I'm okay''....and then he never answered the question for 4 hours even though he was on WA. No yes....or no....nothing just that....so I was waiting at 7:30 thinking maybe he has got off and driving so he can't text back. I think I was pretty clear that I wanted him to pick them up right?! RIGHT?!  >:(  7:45 still nothing...so daughter WA calls him....and he says ''Oh she was serious?! I am home'' and then daughter says ''he sounded really sad on the phone''. Internally I am like ''Yeah because he knows he is being a complete @$$hole!'' *insert eyeroll*.

I got the kids in the car drove them over and I was so pissed off. Really pissed. So I asked myself why. Why was I so mad over something so stupid?

And I think it is people (not just MLCer) not having the common decency to respond. Like how hard is it to say ''Yes'' ''No'' ''Sorry I can't''. It is just a common courtesy that you would even offer to a stranger in a supermarket right? So why the hell can't you fecking manage it about contact with your kids in this case?

Meh whatever by the time I drove over I worked out why I was so mad in my head and burned through the anger, so it was just down to mild annoyance. I took the kids all in, put their stuff in the usual spot, gave them a hug and to leave straight away. He was sat on the living room couch (unusual  :o ) flicking through channels in a pair of shorts (super unusual  :o :o) intently focused on it and talking to the kids...and not looking or speaking to me. Not because he was annoyed with me, but in that ''mopey I firetrucked up way''. I will be damned I am going to stroke his ego and tell him it is okay...so I just said ''Cya later'' and left.

Whatever.

So I guess now it is time for me to go do my final paper that is due Thursday. It is really hard to keep up the focus at this time of year. You start to feel burned out to the max. All I really wanna do is chill out and watch Tv but...this paper is part of my exam so that isn't an option.

One month to go before I get a break. I can do it! :)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #14 on: May 04, 2019, 09:35:58 AM »
One month in the grand scheme of things is actually nothing when you think about it really.

The only non response thing is literally a pet hate of mine. In every aspect of things like kids parties fu?!ing RSVP. Your going to be late meeting me for a drink. TELL ME. So I definitely feel your frustration there.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #15 on: May 05, 2019, 02:42:27 PM »
Picked up the kids at the usual time. Beast looked haggered, but happy enough to chit chat with me...though he seemed to be limping round in pain. I asked him what was up...turns out he has ''Prostatitis'' again. I'm not saying the Karma bus has struck again but... ;)

That is not a fun thing to have is all I am saying...and is going to make happy go fun times 0 for about a month. Bwahahahaha. Guess skittles can have a go round the block on his bike because that is the only thing she will be riding for a while.  ;D








In other not so exciting news...

I think I mentioned I was repainting a table I got for free. My first DIY project of this type...and I am so happy with the results.

It was originally a dark wood with two drawers with white knobs, and the top of the tables had like a cream and brown map design, with a sheet of glass on top. They were ugly little things, that looked like they came out of an old fashioned cigar room or something but they were in good nick, and I got inspired. So I bought myself a sorta ivory cream colour and a matt metallic gold spray paint. I painted most of the table with the ivory cream colour, but did the drawer fronts and the top of the table metallic gold look. Then before the spray paint on top of the table dried, I dusted glitter on top so that it would stick in. I got a little scared that if I used the wrong kind of glitter it would turn out gawdy but...I picked a good one and it looks amazing through the glass. Then I changed the white knobs to some crystal ones. Anyway I was so happy with my little table that now I am inspired to change the whole living room round it!  :P

Today before I got the kids I got myself a blush pink fuzzy rug to sit on the hardwood floor in front of the sofa. The thing is so soft the kids wouldn't get off it! It seems to be a nice material that hopefully (knock on wood) won't get marked easily. I also got a matching lamp with a blush pink lampshade and crystal balls on the stem of it. I stuck it all up. Took a video of the kids...and sent it to Beast. He said ''Posh rug. Hmm. You've gone regal on me'' and I said ''No other way for a queen to live''. BOOM!  8)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online Whyus

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #16 on: May 05, 2019, 11:26:35 PM »
Call me sick, call me evil I do not care. I am glad that he has ''Prostatitis'' again  ;D (sorry, I am).

Restoring old, sometimes ugly furniture is so rewarding and fun. The Thing is that you simply connot but the Quality anymore, everything is cheap and nasty or totally overpriced.
I have one or 2 small Projects waiting for me to  :)

I would love to watch your film morte, maybe a Little Bridget Jones and Tomb Raider in there somewhere too  :D
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2019, 12:38:50 AM »
OK, not trying to be dense here but is "Prostatitis" the new HS way of saying he got his knickers in a bunch after he didn't bother to answer you ??



OK, I wikipediaed the term.... 



Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.... OK... Well.... Maybe it could have.... I'm thinking that there are a few LBS's here that would wish such a thing on their Mid-Lifers or at least have a silent giggle if THAT particular version of the karma bus appeared..
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2019, 03:23:50 AM »
For the SECOND time since BD.  ;)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Milly

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2019, 09:22:42 AM »
Morte, I'm happy to hear that your H's bits are in a twist. Love the sound of your pink rug and lamp shade. Matches my fridge!
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #20 on: May 06, 2019, 02:02:20 PM »
Call me sick, call me evil I do not care. I am glad that he has ''Prostatitis'' again  ;D (sorry, I am).


Ditto. And also, is that a little of the karma bus I see making its way out of beast's a$$???

Morte--your 5 year plan sounds amazing and I know you will do all that and more. Yay you!
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline Milly

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2019, 12:11:03 AM »
It's Wednesday! Hope it doesn't bring trouble and looking forward to hearing about it.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Offline hopeandfaith

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2019, 01:59:15 AM »
Not sure if you have heard of Louise Hay Morte but she suggests that all ailments are related to emotional causes.  You will be SHOCKED to learn what is listed next to problems with the prostate:

"Represents the masculine principle.  Mental fears weaken masculinity. Giving up. Sexual pressure and guilt. Belief in aging.

Hmmm, do you see any relevance there?
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D19, D17 and S15

Offline PJ Ames

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #23 on: May 08, 2019, 06:53:14 AM »
I keep a gratitude journal. Today I wrote "Thank you Jesus that I do not have Prostatitis." Oh. My. God.

Thanks for sharing your story, MB. And your MUCH-needed humor. I learn so much here.
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Married 1991
S: 24, D: 21 both doing great.

BD #1: June, 2016 - discovered EA with co-worker
BD #2: November 2018 - discovered online relationship with dude she met playing video games; she has never met him in person.
5-day separation (she left), November, 2018
W is trying (a little), but has no remorse. Nowhere near fully-cooked.

Offline Acorn

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #24 on: May 08, 2019, 07:19:39 AM »
I keep a gratitude journal. Today I wrote "Thank you Jesus that I do not have Prostatitis." Oh. My. God.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I might write the same thing in my journal.  I’m female.
Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #25 on: May 08, 2019, 07:20:37 AM »
I keep a gratitude journal. Today I wrote "Thank you Jesus that I do not have Prostatitis." Oh. My. God.

Thanks for sharing your story, MB. And your MUCH-needed humor. I learn so much here.

That HS LBS Bus to Hades is gonna be crowded!
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #26 on: May 08, 2019, 07:40:55 AM »
Hello,

Sometimes I am so out of my league. I had to look up Prostatitis.Holy, now insert a lot of inappropriate words that would be instantly modified on this forum.

Oh my gosh Morte! Now we all know where you stuck the pin in Beast's voodoo doll.

Now, get to add prostatitis to my huge list of things to fear. Didn't even know it existed until today.

I like all your options and think that you do have a great five year plan. If you do get your degree and credential, you can always come out to California and teach- especially if you like Elementary grades.

I can hire you!

Take care and ((((Hugs))))

Ready
"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

Online One day at a time

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #27 on: May 08, 2019, 08:25:08 AM »
I love it! Karma bus has really hit Beast now  ;D

Not sure if you have heard of Louise Hay Morte but she suggests that all ailments are related to emotional causes.  You will be SHOCKED to learn what is listed next to problems with the prostate:

"Represents the masculine principle.  Mental fears weaken masculinity. Giving up. Sexual pressure and guilt. Belief in aging.

Hmmm, do you see any relevance there?
Thanks for that tip H&F, H had issues with his knee for a few months after BD2.. I looked it up and I found "Knee problems may be said to indicate being stuck in the Ego, too proud to bend. Louise Hay also suggests that Knees represent Pride and the Ego."   It's amazing what we can learn in this forum!
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline Rising Phoenix

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #28 on: May 08, 2019, 08:52:23 AM »
Nearly missed your new thread mort, noooo! Catching up xx
Me 51
H52
Married still, 22yrs
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #29 on: May 08, 2019, 12:00:39 PM »
Not sure if you have heard of Louise Hay Morte but she suggests that all ailments are related to emotional causes.  You will be SHOCKED to learn what is listed next to problems with the prostate:

"Represents the masculine principle.  Mental fears weaken masculinity. Giving up. Sexual pressure and guilt. Belief in aging.

Hmmm, do you see any relevance there?

I read a few on the list...that was a really weird and insane coincidence but it lost me with things like Malaria being ''out of balance with nature''  :o :o....considering I am currently studying infectious diseases the thought that malaria is caused ''an imbalance in nature'' and not the fact you are infected with plasmodium parasite...Yeah.. okay  ::)

It could go a way to explain stuff like chronic back pains, or IBS or some such...but I mean...if she tells me the Black death is caused by a lack of emotional support then I am out.  ;D

I keep a gratitude journal. Today I wrote "Thank you Jesus that I do not have Prostatitis." Oh. My. God.

This made me burst out laughing. Nice one. Today he was complaining about it again and asked me ''Can I get it removed?!'' and I was like  :o :o ''Sure if you don't want all the functions that effectively make you a man''. He didn't like the idea of that.  ::) Suppose it might be hard to attract 20 year olds that way.  ;)

Oh my gosh Morte! Now we all know where you stuck the pin in Beast's voodoo doll.

Now, get to add prostatitis to my huge list of things to fear. Didn't even know it existed until today.

Happy to educate you guys who take the time to read my thread...and sorry to make your worst fears a reality.

Plus side of driving the Karma bus is knowing exactly where to stick the pin. MWAHAHAHAHHAHA!  8)



And now for the Wacky Wednesday Update from yours truly........*insert drum roll*.......... Morte!!!! *crowd cheers*

Beast collected youngest at lunch time. He came in a ''pissed at the world, but cheerful to see me'' mood. He looked really eager to talk to me, but by talk I mean b!tc# about everyone. Apparently this morning at 9 am he was watching the latest GOT (who the hell watches GOT at 9 am anyway?! ???). His Aunt phoned the house, he picked it up and hung it up straight away (not knowing who it was at the time). She phoned again...he answered....she said ''Can you please make sure BIL get's up for his exam today'' to which he then ''Shouted at her 'I don't give a firetruck' before hanging up'''.  :o To be fair this is the kind of $h!te I had witnessed but he would never have dreamed of talking to anyone else that way and ruin face. He was telling me this story like he was proud of himself. He then went on to say how he went in to BIL room and said ''Douche bag, get up! You got an exam or something....Well I told you so...'' before walking away and leaving BIL to sleep. So BIL has missed his major exam for English at the end of his high school year.  :(

Beast then went on to tell me how his ''filter is broken. I just tell people like it is''...which isn't quiet true. What he means is...he is no longer filtering and trying to be nice. He certainly isn't telling the truth. He is just lashing out in anger. He was supposedly in a meeting with his Manager and someone else from work ''for a new key card''  ??? ::), -that part is questionable in my mind but okay for the sake of the story I let it slide- he tells me how as the other person left the room to get the key card he said ''You and the manager can chit chat or whatever until I get back''. After the door closed Beast said to the manager ''Look ____ There will be no chit chat. Let's just sit here in silence''.  :o Can you imagine speaking to your manager that way?!

I think by this point my very intense interest in scrubbing the kitchen counters lead him to realise how pissy or angry he sounded. He then started to say stuff like ''It's not my fault. I am unwell...'' and here is where my mouth was about to fire off because well I am me...and you know... :-[

I said ''Well Beast if you weren't...'' and I caught my tongue right there and garbled out ''sticking it ..'' and managed to shut it down with a cough...before absolutely howling with laughter because I finished it in my head 'in dirty firetrucking places, you wouldn't get infections!' . But even if I managed to cut it off, and shut it down, which took an insane amount of effort, he knows me well enough to guess what I was going to say. And I am rolling laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face, and he just said ''Just don't even. I don't need it from you too.'' But in all honesty he looked mildly amused.

I managed to scrape myself back together as he mumbled on about some nonsense, and I mentally congratulated myself for stopping mid flight of that bomb ass one liner.  8)

He then had to ask me to lend him some money so he could take £10 out to take the kids to the shop later.  :o Apparently the man is now so poor he can't scrape enough to get money out of an ATM. How exactly does that happen when HE has the job, and I am the one with three kids on income support?!  :o :o He came out with some crap about it ''was your birthday, and mom's and and and'' and I looked at him and said ''I just paid over £500 for the dog to have surgery'' ...anyway...I lent him the money to get his money out...but DAMN BRO!  :o

So he has his credit card maxed, they have a car in the OW's name which he probably has to help pay since he helps drive it, he has to pay child maintenance, he has to pay his mom for rent....and has blown through the rest that he can't get money out an atm 4 days before pay day.

Anyway he took wee guy away for a bit to his house, then brought him back when the older kids were off school. Took them all to the sweety shop this time (without any crying incidence  :o) and then sat for another 30 minutes of yammering on...nothing particularly interesting or relevant.

He then walked into the kitchen and looked in my slow cooker...where dinner has been cooking looooong, and slooow....all day **insert yummy sexy noises** and he sniffed it and said ''Ohhhh that smells so good'' and I said ''Thanks''...then he said ''I guess I better get home to have my toast''...and I said ''Oh that sounds ...uh...nice'' with a standard chuckle. Off he went.

Later I get a WA text of a toast gif.

I replied with a picture of my chicken casserole, followed by toffee apple crumble...  :P

Wonder who is missing his home cooked family dinners now!  8)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Milly

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #30 on: May 08, 2019, 02:12:13 PM »
Morte, thanks for the weekly! You are so funny:
"And now for the Wacky Wednesday Update from yours truly........*insert drum roll*.......... Morte!!!! *crowd cheers*"
I don't know why, but a scene from Shrek 2 or 3 comes to mind!

"He then walked into the kitchen and looked in my slow cooker...where dinner has been cooking looooong, and slooow....all day **insert yummy sexy noises**"
How do you even come up with this stuff? I had to make the noises to work out how they could relate to a chicken casserole! They need to hire you for some comedy show!

Anyway, back to MLC, your H is certainly reaching a disastrous financial place. So his present state: terrible trouble down in the manly area, not even £10 in the bank, insulting everyone, thinking it's funny that BIL slept through his exam, and now he's popped over to be a dad and a victim. I'm just glad that he took all 3 kids to the sweet shop this time without any scenes. This is good for your S. Maybe he did learn something.

PS: any chance you'll make us a toffee apple crumble when you come to Tuscany? 
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Online Treasur

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #31 on: May 08, 2019, 09:43:23 PM »
Toffee apple crumble as an instrument of torture...too funny  :)
Yup...bit of a sharp contrast between Beast's life and the life he had right? Ah, the joys of non specific anger, poverty, prostatitis and toast  ::)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Online Whyus

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #32 on: May 08, 2019, 10:45:50 PM »
I thought for a second that you were going to ask him to stay for the chicken casserole! Glad you didnt, let him eat toast (let me guess, with Marmite? ewwww  ;D).
Morte, if you knew how much I love crumble! Rhubarb, apple and strawberry with Custard  :P.
Very selfish what he did with his bro, thats really not on. his bro is also a tool though, hes old enough to get up by himself.

Monday GOT, Wednesday Morte!  ;)

Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #33 on: May 09, 2019, 12:41:14 AM »
He then walked into the kitchen and looked in my slow cooker...where dinner has been cooking looooong, and slooow....all day **insert yummy sexy noises** and he sniffed it and said ''Ohhhh that smells so good'' and I said ''Thanks''...then he said ''I guess I better get home to have my toast''...and I said ''Oh that sounds ...uh...nice'' with a standard chuckle. Off he went.

Later I get a WA text of a toast gif.

I replied with a picture of my chicken casserole, followed by toffee apple crumble...  :P

Wonder who is missing his home cooked family dinners now!  8)
And Mort is DRIVING the HS LBS Hades Karma Bus.....



But... well.... If he wasn't stickin' his pecker where it don't belong, he wouldn't be facing the issues he's facing now, would he?
« Last Edit: May 09, 2019, 12:42:44 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #34 on: May 09, 2019, 02:01:09 AM »
"He then walked into the kitchen and looked in my slow cooker...where dinner has been cooking looooong, and slooow....all day **insert yummy sexy noises**"
How do you even come up with this stuff? I had to make the noises to work out how they could relate to a chicken casserole! They need to hire you for some comedy show!

PS: any chance you'll make us a toffee apple crumble when you come to Tuscany?

Well let's just call it a gift. 8)

If I am completely honest, and in a rocking good mood...I tend to tone my posts down to suit the audience. Don't want to completely gobsmack people or that on a support forum you know. :o ::)

And I suppose it will depend what is available at the resort kitchen lol.

Toffee apple crumble as an instrument of torture...too funny  :)
Yup...bit of a sharp contrast between Beast's life and the life he had right? Ah, the joys of non specific anger, poverty, prostatitis and toast  ::)

Oh come on! Isn't that the life YOU would sign up for? Sitting (is he sitting or more leaning with a busted crotch?!  ???) in MIL house, with your partially burned toast...stewing in your hate and rage...knowing your wife and kids (who you left) are enjoying a delicious home cooked meal followed by fresh hot crumble...before snuggling on the sofa bare feet buried in the nice new posh rug?! Come on surely I can tempt you in that?

I thought for a second that you were going to ask him to stay for the chicken casserole! Glad you didnt, let him eat toast (let me guess, with Marmite? ewwww  ;D).

HA! Gotcha! My ploy to lead up to that ''Oh no she won't dare!'' is complete followed by the yank of the toffee apple rug. My evil plan has succeeded.  8)

And Mort is DRIVING the HS LBS Hades Karma Bus.....
But... well.... If he wasn't stickin' his pecker where it don't belong, he wouldn't be facing the issues he's facing now, would he?

Given circumstances I have decided it is the best form of transport for the time being.

Who knew that where you stick your pecker would eventually affect not only your ability to sit but what you have for dinner eh?
.
.
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I did! Bwhaahhaahaha
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #35 on: May 09, 2019, 02:37:50 AM »
Oh come on! Isn't that the life YOU would sign up for? Sitting (is he sitting or more leaning with a busted crotch?!  ???) in MIL house, with your partially burned toast...stewing in your hate and rage...knowing your wife and kids (who you left) are enjoying a delicious home cooked meal followed by fresh hot crumble...before snuggling on the sofa bare feet buried in the nice new posh rug?! Come on surely I can tempt you in that?

<ring, rrrrring, click> "Hallo, Lufthansa Service Desk, how can I help you?"
"I need a round-trip ticket, leaving today, coming back open ended to somewhere in the UK with good food, toffee apple crumble and a fluffy rug..."
"OK Sir, that will be 250 Euros and leaves from your departure airport in 2 hours, can you make that?"
"Hold my beer and watch me!"

<ROFL>
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #36 on: May 12, 2019, 10:55:36 AM »
So this weekend was my weekend with the kids.

Yesterday we went for a walk to the park where we all played...Youngest still refuses to go on a swing, and always sticks to a slide. I can remember having to push middle son on the swing for ages at the park, and he would refuse to play on anything else really...youngest refuses to go in one. Very strange.  :P

It was a nice sunny day so I took the kids for an extra walk after and got them all an ice cream cone at this nice little candy shop up the road. We were all walking back in the sunshine, licking our ice creams, and watching the little blossoms from the trees blowing down the side walk. It was lovely and quiet..and felt good.

I cuddled up with the kids and watched some movies and played some games, before sending them up to their bed and having a cup of tea as I watched the latest GOT.

Don't want to get into that in case I spoil it for someone but...I am team Danny even if she has to burn them all. Just saying. ;)

Today me and the kids went to a cafe before getting the grocery shop. Normally I order it online, to have it delivered to the house....1. Because three kids at the store can be a nightmare, 2. So I don't worry about running into anyone  ::)

But daughter needed a new swim suit for her upcoming school swimming lessons....apparently her Disney one is inappropriate at the ripe old age of 9.  ::)

So we went off to the shops and got the things we needed, the kids were well behaved, and honestly it felt kind of nice to just be out and wander through the shops looking at random bits and bobs.

We came home, and daughter's friend came over for a play, before daughter helped me made dinner. :) This is her new thing. I like it so it is good.

I didn't realise until this evening that I have not missed Beast at all. Even walking down the road with the kids, he didn't pop in my head. There was no feeling of ''This is nice but he is missing''....it was just nice. I didn't stress about being in the shop in case I bumped into them. I just went. firetruck em.

I dunno...perhaps another LBS cycle...but today I am on the done side of the fence.  Where there is sunshine and ice cream. :)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #37 on: May 13, 2019, 01:10:32 AM »
Your sounding great morte  ;)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #38 on: May 13, 2019, 01:16:25 AM »
Sounds like a decent Mother's Day all the way around for you!
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #39 on: May 13, 2019, 12:08:49 PM »
Went to the park with my friend S and her son. We decided to get some drinks and sweets at the shop before walking down. As we (Me, S, her son, my two boys) come out of the sweet shop we end up just behind a group of 4 boys aged approximately 14-16.

As we are walking the two boys at the front (in school uniforms) look nervous, uneasy, and are clearly physically a bit weedier than the two at the back. I can see them glancing back to the other pair, and whispering to each other. I then watch the two slightly bigger boys, who aren't in school uniform, begin to pick up sticks and throw them at one boy at the front. At first me and S look at each other, and wonder if they are pals just goofing around. After the 3rd or 4th stick I notice that the boys at the front continue to walk, do not throw sticks back, while the boys at the back seem to think this is the funniest thing.

I am starting to voice my concern to S and ask ''Is it just me or does this look bad to you? Do you think they are pals goofing off?'' and she says it doesn't look that way to her. I am wondering inside myself if I should say something. I am here (2 women, with three small kids), I am worried that I might embarrass my friend if I get involved, but also very conscious that this looks a lot like bullying...and I have 0 tolerance for that. I am also worried that one of the boys might miss their throw and hit one of the kids with us.

As I am processing this in my head there is a fork in the path. One of the boys in front (not getting as many sticks thrown at him) whispers to the other one (it looks like to say ''Will you be okay?'') before the other one shrugs... He walks off to the left.....and his pal veers to the right....and the two behind continue to follow him....laughing and this part of the path has no sticks, so he picks up what appears to be a very large rock...And I lost my mind.

I just shouted ''Stop it right now! Leave him alone for god sake.'' or something to that affect and the two boys at the back seems startled and turn around to look at me like ''Did she really just say something?!'', and the boy at the front picked up his pace a bit and dipped inside a house (I guess his home). The two boys just sort of stood outside his yard looking back at me and S mouths gaping open as they look at each other as if to say ''Do you know this chick?!''.

We continued walking along the path to the park, and I kept an eye out to make sure the little scally wags weren't gonna follow us and try something smart. They never followed us so...I guess they buggard off. As we neared the park I started to get a wash of embarrassment. I know if I had done something like this with Beast he would have raged at me, telling me I should just mind my own business.  So I said to S ''I am really sorry if you were embarrassed there. I just can't stand bullying and someone has to say something. I don't want them to hurt that kid, but I was also worried in case they accidentally hit one of the boys''.. and she said ''Oh don't be silly I felt exactly the same!'' then proceeded to rant and rave about their outrageous behaviour.

What is the point of this whole story?

I guess just normal things like this, that make up who I am at the core of my being have been squashed and filtered. I have changed who I was (sort of diluted it down) so much to please Beast. Altering my behaviour and instincts so I don't set off his paranoia, or anxiety, or make him feel threatened that I will leave him or....what the crack pot ever.

It is so ingrained in me that the first thing I thought of was ''Did I embarrass her by doing the right thing?''.

How messed up is that?


You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #40 on: May 13, 2019, 01:18:31 PM »
I guess we all get a bit like that. In public I’ve learnt to fight my battles. But I think in your shoes I would have done the exact same because little $h!tes like that need telling before it gets out of hand. So good on you morte!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline Milly

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #41 on: May 13, 2019, 03:05:41 PM »
You did the right thing, Morte. You did what many/most of us on here would have done. You are a good woman with values and empathy. You are not going to ignore the fact that a kid is getting sticks thrown at him, and now a stone, because you don't want to get involved, for what ever that reason might be. Having kids with you, being a good one. But how can you say nothing when a kid alone, in front of you, is getting bullied? Our silence in these moments, is what bullies rely on. Well done. That boy will probably get bullied again tomorrow, but knowing someone stood up for him today, tells him that he is not the one who is wrong. That what he knows is happening to him, is true. You validated him today.

It's only normal that you worried that you embarrassed your friend, but I doubt it if she's a friend of yours. I think you were a great example to your s and hers. This is how you learn to stand up to these bullies.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D24, D21, S14
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #42 on: May 13, 2019, 03:51:46 PM »
I think with enough time and space we slowly start to realize that there were a number of things in our relationships that weren't quite right. Things that we compromised on maybe a bit too much just to keep the peace, things that we enjoyed and we stopped doing or new things we started to do because maybe it was expected and we never liked them..

This is part of the getting to know ourselves once again and learn what we will and won't accept anymore. Your friend validated your behavior which now tells you that you stopped doing something you truly felt strongly about just to avoid an argument with Beast but is that the right thing to do? Will you do that again? And here is where the paths start diverging.. I guess this is why the LBS eventually gets to a point where he/she does not want to MLCer back.. We simply don't "fit together" anymore.
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.


"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline Disillusioned

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #43 on: May 13, 2019, 04:08:55 PM »
I think with enough time and space we slowly start to realize that there were a number of things in our relationships that weren't quite right. Things that we compromised on maybe a bit too much just to keep the peace, things that we enjoyed and we stopped doing or new things we started to do because maybe it was expected and we never liked them..

This is part of the getting to know ourselves once again and learn what we will and won't accept anymore. Your friend validated your behavior which now tells you that you stopped doing something you truly felt strongly about just to avoid an argument with Beast but is that the right thing to do? Will you do that again? And here is where the paths start diverging.. I guess this is why the LBS eventually gets to a point where he/she does not want to MLCer back.. We simply don't "fit together" anymore.

I don't know why, but the last part of this post really hit me in the heart.  Wow.  So sad to spend so much time with someone, so many dreams and trials, and to end up no longer fitting together.   :-[
M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
STBXW filed D behind my back.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #44 on: May 14, 2019, 02:55:47 AM »
This is part of the getting to know ourselves once again and learn what we will and won't accept anymore. Your friend validated your behavior which now tells you that you stopped doing something you truly felt strongly about just to avoid an argument with Beast but is that the right thing to do? Will you do that again? And here is where the paths start diverging.. I guess this is why the LBS eventually gets to a point where he/she does not want to MLCer back.. We simply don't "fit together" anymore.

Exactly... This an occur when we do our own mirror work, fuel our own growth as individuals rather than as a couple.... Things that were important to us before suddenly reappear on our event horizon and become important to us again.... The LBS therefore grows and rediscovers their inner self..... This is the same work that the Mid-Lifer has to do but, for the most of them, it seems they are doing it for the first time in their lives...
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #45 on: May 14, 2019, 03:58:02 AM »
You did the right Thing Morte. You gave that lad enough time to get to safety and showed the bullies that not everybody will look away and put up with them.
As for your friend thinking the same but not doing anything. Well thats that being human, sad as it may be.

The thought that we "outgrow" our MLCers is very true, they do get left behind. You seem to of outgrown beastie Boy Long ago. Is that a good or a bad Thing? IDK but
you finding the real morte again cant be all that wrong can it?
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #46 on: May 14, 2019, 04:34:48 AM »
Thanks guys. I am glad I am not the only person out there who would step in.

I know my friend felt the same, but she errs more on the side of just ''watch and see''. I have seen her tell off other kids at the park when they were cursing at her son, so I know she isn't afraid to stand up for herself (her kid)...but I think she was a little more reluctant in this situation. In all honesty probably because these boys were 15-16, but at that age many boys are about the size of us.These two in particular were about 2-3 inches taller. We are both about 5'' 6'' (give or take)  ::) mom's with kids...so I completely understand her hesitance.

Something is clearly broken in my brain because I saw the size difference, made me contemplate for a moment, but then I decided I could take the little a holes if I had to.  :o ::)

Most important to me was to, as you say, validate the poor kid at the front, make it very clear that not everyone accepts that behaviour...and maybe most importantly to teach my boys that you stand up for people. Regardless of who they are. Bullying is never okay, and you have a duty as a good person to do something about it.

How can we expect to raise good decent boys (and girls) if you watch things like that and say nothing? That just teaches them...to say nothing. There is enough of that in this world.

To me it all ties back into MLC as well. All of Beast's family are cowards who would have said nothing. They would have carried on walking and saying ''Oh don't get involved, eyes down, keep walking''.... And when Beast lost his mind that is exactly what they did. Pretend it didn't happen, sweep it under the rug, hide and lie and cover it up. It is turning out great for all of them as he monsters, and lashes out, and talks to them like dirt isn't it.  ::)

Anyway it is a bit of the 'state of the world' isn't it?

Like a sickness of character that permeates every crevice of our lives.

*Climbs on podium with political music playing and flags flying in the background*

It stops here! This generation needs to be the generation where morals and character are shown by action and not just words. Where parents model what is good, and right, and just...and usher this world into a new era....



*Disclaimer: All opinions and views, thoughts, and opinions expressed here belong solely to the author, and not necessarily by other groups or individuals because frankly they are probably part of said group. ;D ;)

#morteforpresident2020
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online Whyus

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #47 on: May 14, 2019, 04:39:21 AM »
I decided I could take the little a holes if I had to.  :o ::)
I bet you could, they were probably $h!te scared of your Accent  :D
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #48 on: May 14, 2019, 04:54:44 AM »
Ha.

I used to joke that...you know how people have ''Beware of dog'' to like warn people away from the house?

I could just get... ''Beware of American''

They would assume I am gun crazy and think their legal system is a joke so...using stereotypes to my benefit right? :)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online Whyus

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #49 on: May 14, 2019, 05:00:30 AM »
Right! i Kind of get that too sometimes. Germans tend to think that all brits are crazy football Hooligans and professional Boxers  ;D.
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #50 on: May 14, 2019, 05:08:12 AM »
Hello,

Quote
Something is clearly broken in my brain because I saw the size difference, made me contemplate for a moment, but then I decided I could take the little a holes if I had to.  :o ::)

Wow, you do have the fight in you. That determination will take you far, especially with school.

The point is that you did not let fear over ride to do what's right. I used to be the exact opposite.

If I saw something, I would look the otherway or say nothing because it was best not to create an issue. Just go about your business.

Which brings me to:

Quote
Things that we compromised on maybe a bit too much just to keep the peace

This really resonated with me and my marriage. I was a doormat. Sounds funny to be a leader at work and be completely run in the ground at home. Maybe because I had so much conflict at work, I just wanted peace at home. I don't know. But I let a lot slide and there was a lot of give and give on my part to keep that peace.

I don't blame my ex. I have a backbone, just didn't use it.

Since then, I do speak my mind not crazy talk, but I do address issues if I feel there is a wrong. I was at the gym and this older guy was complaining that his friend's son just told his father that he was gay. Why did he wait so long? He could have gotten him help and cured him if he had told him earlier.

Another young man look distressed. He tried to say it wasn't that simple. I decided to speak. I said, "My son in law is gay. It is not something you can be cured of and telling his father was a major step for him and it is not an easy conversation. He can't be cured, that's the way he is. He is my son to and he is a great guy. I am proud of him and I love him."

The older guy said, "I didn't know that. Really." Not mean, but understanding.

The young man approached me later and told me thanks.

Not as brave as you Morte. You were BRAVE. I am working on it!

((((Hugs)))) and more ((((Hugs)))

Ready
"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #51 on: May 14, 2019, 09:56:39 AM »

I could just get... ''Beware of American''

They would assume I am gun crazy and think their legal system is a joke so...using stereotypes to my benefit right? :)

OMG I love it.  LMAO. I am with Whyus. I am pretty sure you could have taken those little a$$hats too.
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #52 on: May 15, 2019, 02:37:49 PM »
So it is time for the Wackjob Wednesday update..... Season 2, Episode 40 something...better grab a coffee because it is a long one. :o

My day started off in a vivid (talking high definition colour) dream about Beast. In the dream there was the old him, kinda sick and weedy looking with longer hair but his good soul...and then there was the new him with shorter hair gelled perfectly in place, skin tight sky blue shirt clinging to his slightly gym thickened frame, with dark dead eyes. The old him is working at a zoo cleaning out cages (random I know), the new him is running about town with OW or whatever it is he does. I suddenly get a phone call from the zoo security saying that he has been mauled by the lions and I need to come straight away. When I arrive at the zoo the security guards refuse to let me in the enclosure and claim that he was dead on arrival. They tell me I don't want to see him like that. I look to my left and the new him is staring through the glass window into the lion enclosure. He can not see anything from his vantage point as the 'body' is around the corner. I wonder for a moment about this, and then I realise he is strategically fixing his hair in the reflection of the glass...unbothered by his dead self just beyond. At this stage I know in my heart the security guards are lying, that they just have to keep me out, and are afraid to go in themselves. I manage to push my way past them into the lion enclosure, and I have no fear about the lions at all...I have to see him and make sure he isn't alone. I get inside the cage and find him laying on the ground, covered in blood....it is impossible to tell how hurt he is ….I know it is bad...but he is still alive. I am angry the guards lied to me, that his new self is just adjusting his hair in the window, and I lay down next to his old self looking at him and I hold his hand. He opens his eyes and he is surprised to see me. He says something like ''Why would you come after what I have done?'' and I touched his face and said  ''Why would I not?'' and he looked so relieved and started to cry. At this point I knew the emergency services were coming but decided I didn't want to stay in here longer in case the lions came back for more....so I picked him up and carried him out of the cage to get him in a safer place....

...then the ping ping from my phone woke me up. I thought to myself ''Who the hell is texting me before 8 am on a Wednesday?!''. I am a little annoyed that I won't find out how my dream ended, and roll over to get my phone off the table with one eye still super glued shut. It is Beast texting me (why is he up this early on his day off? He really is a lunatic...) some detailed paragraph continuing on the discussion from last night.

I hadn't been bothered to really text him at all this week, not on purpose..just...no reason to. I started to notice by Sunday night HE picked up texting for stupid things... one or two..here and there..just to make sure I am alive I guess. I responded with 1 or 2 words and left it at that.

Monday I got a reminder from the dentist (the registered number) for an appointment he had scheduled for Wed at 4. I noted that this was clearly his contact day with the kids, and wondered if he would r/s contact to Thursday or come after the appointment...but I said nothing to him about it. I simply copied the automated message from my phone into WA message. That evening he was clearly gagging for more talks, and started asking questions that need more in-depth answers. He was avoiding the obvious fact about the appointment, and I continued the few word responses.

By Tuesday afternoon (on his lunch break) he initiated in depth talks about our feelings on the latest GOT episodes. He was asking me if I shouted at the Tv, if I was crying....those types of things. At one point I left a big paragraph but he didn't respond because he was obviously back at work. He responds 4 hours later (about an hour after he gets off work) to say ''Sorry, couldn't reply before.'' followed by two large paragraphs of his opinion. I only note this as important because he is usually happy to leave me waiting hours, or sometimes days without a response...why is he suddenly sorry he took so long to reply? He eventually comes out with ''I decided to cxl my appointment. I planned a nerf war with the kids and to take them to the candy shop''. I am not going to lie this made my heart a bit happy. I never said a word to him, and he has obviously realised it on his own...and fixed it...without me telling him or pointing it out. Small miracles right?! ;)

Anyway back to this AM. An early morning text spilling over from last night. I send back a message , he responded, then I said ''Are you coming for youngest today after nursery?''....crickets for 3 hours.. until I get ''Sorry I fell back asleep as it was ridiculously early''. So..he has either woken up this am and checked his phone just to text me...or he was up for OW leaving for work/college/going to the pug ugly show...and text me before going back to sleep for a bit. ::)

But again...second time apologising like a normal polite human being. Strange on many levels. Strange that he is actually apologising and being polite to me, strange that I actually have to write that sentence about my husband, strange that I have to question why my husband is texting me...just. firetrucking. strange.

So he eventually gets back to me at 12 pm (3 hours post asking, 1 hour post nursery) to say ''Ok. I don't have the car. I could come over and take him to the park or something''. Is anyone else noticing a theme here? Is this ANOTHER Wednesday where she has tried her best to cock block his visitation with the kids? Hmmm...

Now his choice is to walk 45 minutes from where he lives, to here...to see the kids. Alternatively he can jump on his bike for 15 minutes with a busted crotch... :o

I leave him to figure it out, not expecting to see him until closer to time for kids to come out. Next thing I know I see his head walking by my livingroom window. He gets in the house, looking pretty worse for wear and I was like ''That was fast, did you walk?!'' and he said ''No I managed to get the car''.  He puts shoes on the wee guy, getting some hugs off son, small chat... I then said something like ''Oh I didn't expect you'd be here until later cuz you said you didn't have the car?!'' and he said ''Yeah I didn't, uh...people are just being difficult''.  Wonder what he means by 'people'? ::)

So another Wednesday spent fighting over the car for visitation with the kids huh? Or perhaps it is more about him spending the time with me. Who knows...but clearly it is becoming a theme. I must say his tone of voice when he said 'people are just being difficult' said a lot. Perhaps I am just reading into it, but 15 years of Beast watching tells me...things have been rocky with 'people' lately and he is getting fed up. We shall see... :)

He arrives back at 4 pm today, and I was upstairs at the time. I just heard him enter the house and begin speaking to the kids. As I come down the stairs his eyes do that little bug out thing and he looks me up and down saying ''Oh new top?!'' It is kind of new but I was wearing it this morning when he collected son so I said ''Eh I was wearing it this morning when you collected son''. He then proceeded to argue with me about the fact I was definitely NOT wearing this shirt this AM. It is really nice, with cut outs at the shoulders and I don't know how he could have missed it, and now is trying to argue with me about what I was wearing. I sighed, shouted daughter in and said ''Daughter, when did I put this shirt on?'' and she said ''This morning when you took us to school''. He then looked thoroughly confused about how he missed it. I suppose it has to do with the fact you just had a fight for the right to drive the toy car;)

Anyway in his arms he has a box of ice lollies....he proceeds to ask me 3 times which flavour I want, before handing me one of his choosing...then taking it back...and handing me a different one. He takes a lemon one for himself,  starts to complain how he prefers the orange and always gets 'stuck with the lemon'...I offered him the orange one he had handed me...then he said ''No no I like the lemon''. Okay... :o ??? ::)

He then make his routine short joke asking if I am shrinking. I reply ''Ah that never gets old...but I did notice you got new shoes with about an inch of a sole...is that to get you up to the 6 foot mark?'' he proceeds to pull down his socks to tell me ''This is where my work boots take all the hair off my ankles from chaffing'' and I was like ''What the hell does that have to do with the 1 inch heels?!'' :o and he rambled on about the soles making the socks go further up his foot...I said ''Yeah okay'' ::) As he was walking out with the kids to the shop he said ''I don't do straight answers. People are always complaining to me about that...''....Then began some weird ramblings about did I want anything from the shop, daughter said ''Yeah I wanna get mom X'' and he was like ''No I am not getting that, what is a X'' and I said ''Don't worry about it'' and then daughter said ''FOR GOD SAKE DAD I WILL SHOW YOU!''  >:( as I shut the door and let them away....

Honestly there is something really weird with the interactions with him today. He is jumbled up and confused big time in his head but it is extra super obvious.


Eventually they come back from the shops and decide it is time for the Nerf war. Beast begins raking through my kitchen cupboard. I ask him ''Uh...what ya looking for bro?'' and he said ''I need my safety glasses'' and I said ''Oh good idea, we should find something for the kids too...'' and he said ''No I just need them for my eyes'' and I looked at him like ???. I said ''I could put some sunglasses or swimming goggles on them'' and he said ''Oh don't be so nitpicking I just need them because I have contacts''...the kids were raring to go and so I said ''Ok well everyone pay attention and look at mommy...make sure there is no shots above the shoulders...'' blah blah blah. So the games began.

Two kids behind the sofa, and Beast with the other behind the kitchen table. I was the ref to determine who had been hit and was out, and keep score. After a few games each they would reload and swap who was on Beast's team. It was all really nice and lovely and the kids were having a blast, but I think Beast was having the most fun. Like a little kid at a birthday party honestly. And then it happened didn't it...Sigh...

Beast jumps up from behind the table ready to sink the last victory shot...aims for daughter's forehead because he thinks he is hot $h!te...and hits her square in the eyeball. For firetruck sake... >:(

She flies back onto the sofa like she just got shot by a sniper, rolling around holding her eye screaming...and Beast face went from jovial boy to instant guilt and shame. He dropped his gun and whipped off HIS safety glasses and came running over...but stopped short behind the couch and just looked at me as useless as a bump on a log. I am trying to calm daughter down, and he is looking that way were he is about to lose it because he feels guilty and can't handle his own $h!te. I tell him ''Go upstairs and help the boys with their PlayStation,''  because I needed to get rid of him before he started having a meltdown about what he did...Daughter didn't need that at the moment.

So while they were upstairs I calmed her down and had a look...and she has a scratch across her eyeball. Jesus this is like deja vu (son had a finger nail to the eye back in Feb). I knew this likely meant she would need A n E trip to get eye drops because it has a high risk of infection. I check and double check, and triple check to make sure it isn't just a bit of guck...that it is definitely scratched...and now I am wondering how I can break the news to Beast without him flying into a guilt meltdown. I know he is going to feel bad, but his defence is usually to have a child tantrum and make it someone else’s fault.  :-\

Anyway he eventually comes down and I say ''I am going to phone the NHS, I think she will need an appointment to get eyedrops like son had.'' he looked at me and said ''Are you sure?'' and I said ''Would you like to see it?''. Usually he would say no, but I guess he decided he needed to make sure I wasn't lying or something. I opened daughter's eye and he could see it too. He then agreed we should get her to the doctor and said ''Do you want me to sit with the boys while you take her over?''...before when we were happily married I would have went just so I didn't have to hear him moan. I would have sat in inconvenience for hours for something he did to keep the peace and not listen to his crap. Today I looked straight at him and I said ''No. I will stay with the boys and you can take her.'' he started in with his whining ''but I don't like to talk to them'' and ''it's a bit awkward'' and I just flat out said ''I'm not the one who shot her in the eye.'' ???

The fecking kids who are age 9 and below followed the no head rule and this 34 year old numpty decided he didn't have to. Ugh.

I called the NHS number, they confirmed she should go to A n E tonight. He looked incredibly uncomfortable and needed to ''go grab a bag'' from his car....but there was no bag. I think that was code for ''Need to go phone OW and tell her I won't be back with her car on time''. Ironic since she barely let him have it in the first place today. God I do not want to be him when he goes home tonight. #pissedoffOW

Can you imagine being in this position? Shot your daughter in the eye with a nerf gun because you acted like a twat, try to pawn the problem off on your wife....only she is no longer your proper wife because you bailed on her so she told you to do it yourself...now you get to phone your OW and tell her not only did you promise heaven and earth to get the car this morning for visitation, but now you are going to be late by an indiscernible about of time because you have to take daughter to A n E. If you were the OW would you believe that stack of lies? I dunno...they are pretty stupid I guess but damn. ::)

While he was away at A n E with daughter I text ''Thank you for taking her so I didn't have to drag the boys''. Mostly because it is the polite thing to do, but also to acknowledge the fact that he you know...stepped up to be a dad. I also feel a little sad for him (even though it is his own making) that he is likely going to have to go home and listen to a lot of crying/yelling. It isn't fair to have to deal with that when you have just taken your child to A n E over something you did....but it also isn't fair to leave your wife and kids for your coworker so... :P

He eventually arrived back with daughter at 10 pm. Both exhausted but in an okay mood. She has eye drops 4 x a day for the next week. He spoke for a few minutes and when I asked what the doctor said he replied ''I don't know I wasn't paying attention to that part''  :o :o :o and I said ''You are the adult! Who else was supposed to pay attention?!'' he looked at me weird and said..''Doesn't it say on the box?!''....Wow. He then told me to bring the kids this weekend, and that he was still planning the zoo next Thursday when the kids are off school. I asked him ''Is it just you and the kids going?'' and he said ''Uh NO! I thought we were all going?! How am I going to handle them alone!?'' and the strangest look crossed his face in that moment. I would dare say a kind of sadness that I had even suggested it? ...Anyway before he left he took the bins out for me and I shouted ''I hope you don't get your head bit off'' and he replied ''I probably will''. Daughter informed me that he took her to MIL's so he could get changed (he had shorts on and needed jeans to go to the hospital apparently). Priorities am I right?  :o

Here's to the Headless Beast driving to return the Toy Car back to a very very happy Skittles Princess.  8)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #53 on: May 15, 2019, 02:55:58 PM »
Well that sure is a wacky Wednesday update morte.

I hope D is feeling better soon!
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline Music45

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #54 on: May 15, 2019, 03:35:46 PM »
Crikey, Mortes, that's quite a day.
Hope D is ok.
Me: 50
H: 51
S:26 D:19 [They're his kids. I'm Step Mum. They both live with us - though D at Uni]
BD: April 2016
Many false returns.
Effectively moved out Nov 2017 [works away from home. Home occasional weekends]
Moved out full time: July 2018 after he renewed contact with OW.
OW: old school friend lives 200+ miles away. No idea of current status of this relationship.

Online Whyus

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #55 on: May 15, 2019, 11:09:10 PM »
Morte, did you really EXPECT him to Play by the rules? Hes not a child, hes a Twat as you said!!
I hope that Ds eye isnt so bad, poor Girl. Must be a great Feeling being shot in the face by your dad  ???
The dream you had is weird but a classic Interpretation of the Alien taking over the good spouce. The weird part is that you are the one to run in and save him, he couldnt do it himself.  My XW really was a very very nice Person to be around before she snapped! Hard to believe now really...

Dont worry about the princess throwing skittles at him, its all part of the Show  ;)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #56 on: May 16, 2019, 01:30:49 AM »
The head shot sounds like something my S12 would do... and then be REALLY surprised when I call Game Over....  ::)

Seriously though... He took D to Skittles Princess' place to change?  THAT must have gone over like a lead balloon..... <smh>
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
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Online Whyus

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #57 on: May 16, 2019, 02:39:15 AM »
The head shot sounds like something my S12 would do... and then be REALLY surprised when I call Game Over....  ::)

Seriously though... He took D to Skittles Princess' place to change?  THAT must have gone over like a lead balloon..... <smh>
He took her to MILs to Change. We would have seen the gun wielding, crazy american rebel Girl if it was Skittles Princess' place im sure  ;D
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Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #58 on: May 16, 2019, 02:41:40 AM »
Daughters okay, just some eye drops until the scratch heals. No worse for wear thankfully.

The dream you had is weird but a classic Interpretation of the Alien taking over the good spouce. The weird part is that you are the one to run in and save him, he couldnt do it himself.

It was more like his new self was so busy with his image, that he didn't care about the old part of him dying. Symbolic no? :)


Seriously though... He took D to Skittles Princess' place to change?  THAT must have gone over like a lead balloon..... <smh>
He took her to MILs to Change. We would have seen the gun wielding, crazy american rebel Girl if it was Skittles Princess' place im sure  ;D

What whyus said!  :D

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Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #59 on: May 16, 2019, 02:50:17 AM »
Daughters okay, just some eye drops until the scratch heals. No worse for wear thankfully.

The dream you had is weird but a classic Interpretation of the Alien taking over the good spouce. The weird part is that you are the one to run in and save him, he couldnt do it himself.

It was more like his new self was so busy with his image, that he didn't care about the old part of him dying. Symbolic no? :)


Seriously though... He took D to Skittles Princess' place to change?  THAT must have gone over like a lead balloon..... <smh>
He took her to MILs to Change. We would have seen the gun wielding, crazy american rebel Girl if it was Skittles Princess' place im sure  ;D

What whyus said!  :D

And it would NOT have been a NERF gun......  Well, there is that thing about "We're Americans. We'll just shoot you." I get that too once in a while....
Me - 54
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S - 12
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #60 on: May 16, 2019, 11:53:11 AM »
Decided to go for a walk this morning, grab a quick bacon roll breakfast, before hitting the shops for a few items for the kiddos...

I swear there must be a vibe a woman puts out when she is not taken. I mean legally taken, but alone if you know what I mean? I don't know what the hell it was but...

First I am in getting my breakfast in a little shop next to the grocery store. This place is quick and known to have all the local guys coming through to grab a quick bite on the go for their lunch. You get the bin men, council workers, police men, ambulance workers, army guys from the army recruitment centre, and the car sales guys from up the road...the lot. Anyway I am sitting up in the corner with my coffee and my roll scrolling through my phone, and I got 'the look' several times. The way were a guy nudges his work pal and 'slyly points' before whispering to each other. Then you feel them eyeing you up as if determining if you are their type and if they want to approach you...but they got that fear of rejection because their work mates are there.  ::)  To be fair I was like 'Well I am the only young woman here' as the ladies working are considerably older and kind of blew it off then walked next door to get my shopping.

I go round and get all the kiddos stuff and then as I am standing at the check out, this guy in his early-mid twenties is trying it on pretty thick. Staring at me...smiling...calling me ''hun'' which is rare to hear in UK to be fair.  :o And I am thinking ''What firetrucking perfume did I wear today because I am bout to get a life time subscription''.  :o ;D

Anyway I was smiley and polite but skedaddled back up the road like my tail was on fire.

I am not ready to have to deal with any dudes right now. Don't get me wrong, they can be lovely to have around, and fun to hang out with...But right now I am definitely in an ''I am okay with just me'' phase. I have noticed this more and more lately. The thought of 'dealing' with another guy (sorry to sound harsh) just puts me off. I am actually looking forward to finishing up my Uni course for the summer so I can spend a lot of my summer evenings relaxing and doing some self care. I don't need no new dudes firetrucking that up.  ::)
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Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #61 on: May 16, 2019, 12:37:00 PM »
Hello,

Just responded to a post of yours on Disillusioned's Thread

Quote
and I got 'the look' several times.

Aha! You do notice. So my question is how do you notice without letting them know you see them? Hmmmm

Quote
And I am thinking ''What firetrucking perfume did I wear today because I am bout to get a life time subscription''.

Yes, but what were you wearing and did you wear it well?

Quote
I am not ready to have to deal with any dudes right now.

Of course not. But it's like having a good car and someone comes up to you and offers to buy it. You don't want to sell it but it is nice to know that when the time is right, you are going to have any problems.

Have fun with your kiddos, do something or think of something to mess with Beast's limited mind (for my amusement), and have a great evening!

(((Hugs))) and more (((Hugs)))

Ready



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Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #62 on: May 17, 2019, 01:59:33 AM »


Aha! You do notice. So my question is how do you notice without letting them know you see them? Hmmmm

How does any man or woman notice when they are getting the look from someone? You catch a glimpse of it out the corner of your eye, hear the murmur...look up and catch it in the act.  :P

Quote
And I am thinking ''What firetrucking perfume did I wear today because I am bout to get a life time subscription''.

Yes, but what were you wearing and did you wear it well? -Uh, I was wearing jeggings with my sketchers, and a button up tunic type shirt. Nothing to exciting.[/color]


Of course not. But it's like having a good car and someone comes up to you and offers to buy it. You don't want to sell it but it is nice to know that when the time is right, you are going to have any problems. -This is true.  8)

Have fun with your kiddos, do something or think of something to mess with Beast's limited mind (for my amusement), and have a great evening!

Bwahahaha challenge accepted.

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Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #63 on: May 17, 2019, 02:03:52 AM »
So today this pops up on my Instagram feed...





Explains a lot... :o ;D
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Offline Silver

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #64 on: May 17, 2019, 02:07:30 AM »
You are the Karma?? Coming this way soon? Honk if you do, I have a client to you.  ;D
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Online Treasur

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #65 on: May 17, 2019, 02:18:24 AM »
I would be entirely happy Morte to put you in charge of universal Karma bc you would kick a$$ and make it funny to watch too  :)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #66 on: May 17, 2019, 02:23:13 AM »
Yes, but what were you wearing and did you wear it well? -Uh, I was wearing jeggings with my sketchers, and a button up tunic type shirt. Nothing to exciting.


Mort, Mort, Mort.... <heavy sigh>  You missed the subtle end of the question which I have put in bold to get your attention and the entire point.....


A person can wear a potato sack and, if they wear it well, attract ALL kinds of "interested" attention.... Some one else can wear the hottest outfit ever and get nothing more than an "Oh yeah, them..... also ran in competition" notice and hardly a glance...

So, while the answer to part 1 may have been -Uh, I was wearing jeggings with my sketchers, and a button up tunic type shirt. Nothing to exciting., the answer to part 2 is something different  - maybe "and I rocked it!" because you DID get noticed....

I would be entirely happy Morte to put you in charge of universal Karma bc you would kick a$$ and make it funny to watch too  :)

Oh yeah.....

Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
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BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
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Mid-Lifer filed for D
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #67 on: May 19, 2019, 12:40:56 PM »
So it was a pretty quiet weekend again as the kids were away to Beast's.

On Friday I suggested Beast collect the kids when he was heading home from work. Unfortunately he doesn't have the car...again. Very strange.  ;)

I ended up having to drop them round at 7:30pm and he was just home having pedalled on his bike. That 15 minute ride from work must have felt good with an inflamed prostate.  :-X

Chit chat and discussion mostly pertaining to the zoo on Thursday. To be fair he suggested this back last month if you remember, and I didn't think it would come to fruition but it seems to be a plan for Thursday. Mixed feelings about that, but the kids are excited and happy...and I got nothing else to do so why not.  ;)

He did say something about ''We need to go early because it will be heaving''....I know why he says this (because him and OW having been going there for dates) but I have to play dumb and I say ''Oh you don't want to go after lunch or something?'' and he was all ''TRUST ME we HAVE to go early''. So even if I didn't already know he has taken her there, I would know by the way he was acting just with this. Honestly he might as well write it on his forehead.  ::)

You would think I wouldn't want to go knowing he takes her there but actually...it makes me feel sorry for them. Before BD we used to take the kids there a lot, so in a sense it is like...he is taking her there to entertain her. Something about that just screams pathetic to me and I am not sure why. Where do you take your 20 something year old girlfriend to entertain her? Same place you take your kids of course.  ::)

Anyway I just left it alone and out I went. Kept to myself most of the weekend and he ended up texting me on Saturday. Another feeler to make sure I am alive I am sure.

Had some weird thinky moments over the weekend but no being upset and no crying.

My first big thought was when I was in the shower...and I thought about what would happen if I slipped and broke my lower back causing me to be paralysed from the waist down. Morbid I know but anyway... I thought about how much of my life would change or not. About a persons mentality in that situation. From what I hear and read most people fit into two categories: Those who live in sorrow and focus on all the things they can't do, and those who think about all the things they can still do. I figure that sort of injury is more impactful to a sports athlete, or a dancer, or professional runner type of thing...that it would be harder to recover from because it would change the core of who you are. But for me the core of who I am would still be there. I could still write, and laugh, and joke...I could still study and play games. Sure things would be difficult and there would be sad times when you couldn't do things with the kids....but overall you would still be you.

This chain of thinking then branched off into two different directions intermixed and almost simultaneously but I will describe them separately here for you guys.

On one hand I wondered what I would do practically. I have three kids and would need help for at least the first bit. I have no family or friends here that would be able to care for me. It would mean that I would have to have some sorta Live in MLCer arrangement scenario. I wondered if Beast would do that, or if he would throw his hands up in the air and say no way. I thought about it round and round and decided I still believe he would do it, probably begrudgingly, but I think he would. I think there is still some core of him that would feel obligated to for the kids, and for me...not entirely sure he would do it for 'love' but more because he couldn't handle the judgement of others if that makes sense. But then I thought ''MLC''  ::)

Next I went into, if the scenario was reversed would I care for him. If he was in a horrible accident would I look after him? Well without a doubt I would have when we were married. I was never in love with his body, I was in love with him. I would never have batted an eyelash at what it meant long term. But what about now? Now that he chose to walk out and leave me and the kids, to run off with OW when he is healthy and strong...and then get in an accident and want to come back for me to be his caretaker, not because he loved me but because he needed me? What would I do? This was a tough one..but deep down I know me, and at this current stage I would probably do it still. Which I think tells me deep down I still love him regardless of how much I feel I have outgrown his nonsense day to day. I am not sure it would be coming back as my husband per say, but I certainly wouldn't leave him stranded high and dry. I guess that says more about me than him. He might very well choose to leave me high and dry, but...I still think I wouldn't. I don't know if this answer will always be the same though. At some point people must reach a stage where they say ''To bad, you picked your bed now lie in it'' or something like that. Who could blame them really.

This bled over into thoughts about our bodies just being vehicles for our soul or personality...whatever term you feel comfortable with. I have never loved anyone for their outside aesthetic. I do not have a type. The men I have been with or attracted to are all very different. I seem to be attracted to their character or personality. So if I was with someone I love them, regardless of their looks. If they gain a bit of weight, or become skin and bones..I might be worried about their health because I want them to live longer, but I didn't see them as blinding flaws to make me love them less. Similarly I think if someone I loved was in some kind of horrible accident, I would still see 'them' not their outside. Does that make any sense?

What is all this mean? I don't really know. Some sort of subconscious processing my brain is going through right now. It is kind of weird that these are my thoughts instead of what they used to be.

I don't really find myself thinking about him, and what he has done, and what OW does...and blah blah blah. It is more deep life stuff I guess. What makes me 'me', who I am deep down...not who I have had to be, or been raised to be, or conditioned to be...but who 'I' am.

Anyway, it was then time to get the kids so all the thinky stuff had to go back in the box.  ::)

Picked up kids who are happy and excited to see me, Beast seems cheery enough, MIL is in the living room and says hi.

I have noted that every time the kids have been over, he has to strip the bed and wash the sheets.  :o Like...EVERY time the kids sleep over. That is weird right? Why does he have to change the sheets because the kids have been in? None of them pee the bed or anything. But it is like a ritual or something. He removes all the stuff he has with her when the kids come over (drawings in frames and whatever), and then when they leave the whole room is stripped and I assume the pictures come back out. Really firetrucking weird.

Today I get the kids, grab their bags, and don't hang around for much fan fair.

Daughter proceeds to tell me in the car she went through his drawers. Apparently he got a present (no idea why since it isn't close to any notable holidays) and inside it was a framed picture of black and white zig zag lines. I did see a zig zag paper in a gold frame and I was confused as firetruck. It literally looked like bit of wrapping paper in a frame. No writing on it, no obscure image hidden...just zig zags. OoooooooK....

Apparently she also found a biscuit tin that he had duck taped to high heaven, she of course tried to raid it looking for sweeties. Inside the biscuit tin, hidden in his bottom drawer was his wedding ring, a key chain I gave him, and a letter I wrote him. I did wonder what happened to his ring, if he still had it somewhere safe, or if he had just pitched it in the trash with his vows. Apparently he still hides it, in a little box, safely wrapped up (to prevent someone seeing it?  ;)). I am not going to lie, this made me feel a little good and I don't know why. I guess the feeling that I am not the only one, who keeps my rings hidden away for a later date. It makes me feel a little bit less silly I guess.

What a strange weekend.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online sachat3

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #68 on: May 19, 2019, 01:21:40 PM »
Is there ever a “normal” weekend in MLC land? Ha!

I must admit I commend you for looking in yourself. I know with me, well your on my thread. I tend to comment on Clington and Poundland me 🤣 so I do think it can only be s good thing your not dwelling on them. Go you glen coco!

Could beast possible change them every week and it just so happens to fall on when the kids come? I know I routinely tend to change my bedding on a Sunday. Every Sunday we all have fresh sheets!
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Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #69 on: May 21, 2019, 02:05:37 AM »
*Warning the Following post contains GOT spoilers so don't read it until you watched it*


So I am not gonna lie about how depressed I feel after the final episode of GOT.

Now normally I don't get so emotional over tv shows...they are just tv and I don't watch many of them...but this latest situation hit a little to close to home if I am honest.

I have invested 8 years of my life into watching this show....I watched this young girl who got crapped on and passed around like cattle, develop into a powerful woman who wanted to free slaves from their masters, seek justice for the weak, right the world of wrongs.. yada yada.

Then in the final season they want to character assassinate her by suddenly make her go mad for no reason. They of course seem to be building up to the inevitable right? Making the man the hero. Even though she is the one who has gathered the love and following of so many kingdoms, did the impossible, sailed across the world, decided to help the people she came to fight...to defend against the night king. She saved John I don't know how many times, his idiot plans cost her 2 of her dragons, yet she still loves him. So to do this the writer's paint her as suddenly going crazy. They have to justify the ending they want right?

So in the end the only person who can take out this powerful woman...is the man she loves with a dagger to the chest.

firetruck right off.  >:(

It makes me terribly angry that they completely changed her character to suit that ending, but also terribly sad because how else would you get to a powerful successful woman than a dagger through her heart by the man she loves.

Honestly I give up on life right now.  :'(
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Online Whyus

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #70 on: May 21, 2019, 02:28:34 AM »
Well I think that they just showed her for who she really is at the end. She was the exact same crazy firetrucker as her father was, ist in the blood. Ring a bell? When Things get hard the "nice People" who were $h!te on as child implode and become everything they hated about their FOO!
The last Episode was very disappointing, it was rubbish actually apart from the Dragon Scenes which were always cool. I love the way that the Dragons act like Dogs, that is just too cool  :D
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 45
W: 45 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 30) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
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Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #71 on: May 21, 2019, 05:41:51 PM »
Morte I feel your pain. I'm a huge Kaleesi fan (Or however it is spelled LOL). Yes, they definitely took some artistic liberties making her out to be cray at the end. Huge bummer for me too.
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Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #72 on: May 21, 2019, 08:50:32 PM »
Hello,

I agree with you on GOT. Remember the two children that were burnt by the dragons? She chained two of them to stop them.

Furthermore, when the city turned on her, she didn't ride on her dragons reigning fire on them for their dissent.

Also Jon (still a big fan of his), chopped of a guys head because he refused to follow his orders and hung a boy (crazy boy, but still a boy).

What would have been much better was to wipe out Cersei without murdering the people then walked with Jon to the throne, sat in it briefly and looked at Jon and told him that she was going to give the throne to him. That her duty was done and she had ended tyranny in Westeros and was going back to Mereen where she was loved and had a love waiting for her.

Jon would cry, but she would climb on drogoon and fly back where she could continue her quest to free all people.

Greyworm and the unsullied would then get on the ships and sail after her as free men.

This is the ready revision of GOT.

((((Hugs)))

Ready
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Online MortesbrideTopic starter

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #73 on: May 22, 2019, 02:58:07 AM »
Well I think that they just showed her for who she really is at the end. She was the exact same crazy firetrucker as her father was, ist in the blood.

Sacrilege....Off with your head!

Morte I feel your pain. I'm a huge Kaleesi fan (Or however it is spelled LOL). Yes, they definitely took some artistic liberties making her out to be cray at the end. Huge bummer for me too.

Yeah it just felt like the last 3 episodes were a jumble and complete change of direction just to wrap up the show.

Hello,

I agree with you on GOT. Remember the two children that were burnt by the dragons? She chained two of them to stop them.

Furthermore, when the city turned on her, she didn't ride on her dragons reigning fire on them for their dissent.

Also Jon (still a big fan of his), chopped of a guys head because he refused to follow his orders and hung a boy (crazy boy, but still a boy).

What would have been much better was to wipe out Cersei without murdering the people then walked with Jon to the throne, sat in it briefly and looked at Jon and told him that she was going to give the throne to him. That her duty was done and she had ended tyranny in Westeros and was going back to Mereen where she was loved and had a love waiting for her.

Jon would cry, but she would climb on drogoon and fly back where she could continue her quest to free all people.

Greyworm and the unsullied would then get on the ships and sail after her as free men.

This is the ready revision of GOT.

((((Hugs)))

Ready

They just completely changed many of the characters personalities to suit the ending they made up. When the bells rang she would have been happy to have won....maybe she would have flown to the red keep to destroy it along with Cersie...but what did she have to gain from burning the city? That made 0 sense. She would be burning the people she was trying to save. She was far to smart for that. AND she was way to smart to have allowed herself to be alone with a man who had a better claim to the throne than her. She was not a stupid woman...Just. Ugh.

And getting back to picking of kings...How does BRAN STARK come out better then Robert's smith son? The guy was son of the previous king, made all the smith's weapons to fight the night king...surely he would be in the running before Bran the day dreamer who is virtually smoking pot all day?!

Not to mention why would you let the prisoner who is a Lanister who consistently betrayed people for his family, pick the king...WHILE IN SHACKLES?!

And you make Bronn the mercenary who will do anything for coin, the master of coin for the kingdom?! Because HE will spend the money for the good of everyone? Jesus.

The only good bit is making Brianne of Tarth the Captain of the Kingsgaurd....that actually made sense. And Samwell Tarly the new maester.
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Offline Maleficent

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #74 on: May 22, 2019, 03:03:00 AM »
Chiming in.  The writers so did Dany a disservice--if they wanted to make her look like a mad Queen, they needed more character development, not just a change over one to two episodes in an eight year saga.  So disappointing. And we so loved her.  I like ready's vision of her flying off on Drogon to save the world.  Loved Drogon this episode though.  One amazing dragon.  I am envious, I want a dragon.  And, I feel like and applaud Arya setting off on my own brave new journey.  But, Long live Sansa, Queen of the North.
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Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Beauty into Beast 12
« Reply #75 on: May 22, 2019, 11:17:58 AM »

Not to mention why would you let the prisoner who is a Lanister who consistently betrayed people for his family, pick the king...WHILE IN SHACKLES?!


Right? That was bizarre to me too. And also, how can a King be named "Bran the Broken?"  Should be "Bran the Creepy."

I'm with you Mal--I want a dragon too!
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

 

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