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Author Topic: My Story My New Normal 3.0

A
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My Story Re: My New Normal 3.0
#120: February 12, 2020, 07:03:20 AM
Welcome back, Roo, and thank you for sharing what you’ve been up to.


I humbly offer my observation that you are well on your way to defining your own identity which leads you to hold yourself responsible for your own state of being (happy, sad, angry, resentful, etc.), your own words and actions, and consequences there of. 

No wonder this fine state of mind has led you to leave your MLCer to himself to work on defining his own identity.  No one can do it for him.  It always was and is his choice to cut the emotional apron string that ties him to you, and grow up.  This is the same lesson LBSs learn, of which you are taking a fast-track course.  :)

I will say this again because it is important: It always was and is your choice to be 100% accountable for your own emotions, attitudes, words and actions, and consequences. 

The forum does not lack for examples of LBS healing herself and thriving because she takes full responsibility for her Self, and not dwell in the emotional basement of blaming others or circumstances for her state of being, or  worse, wait for someone or something to change her state of being. Blame = perpetual misery.   

I am so happy to see you are choosing:

100% accountability for self = The ability to define Self. 

You go, Roo! 
(((((HUGS))))))
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« Last Edit: February 12, 2020, 07:07:40 AM by Acorn »
Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

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Re: My New Normal 3.0
#121: February 12, 2020, 07:57:55 AM
I agree with Acorn.
I think there comes a point when - regardless of the reasons and regardless of our spouse's behaviour - we just say no, i don't want to live like this any longer. And off we set....
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

 

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