Author Topic: My Story Somebody That I Used To Know  (Read 2912 times)

Offline Laugh or Cry

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My Story Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2019, 11:16:09 PM »
All I can suggest is, don't let anything control you; money, designer labels, or that new car smell. If you can't control your own thoughts and feelings, it makes it easy for other people to control you.

Offline Whyus

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2019, 11:18:05 PM »
I understand you SF. Maybe an Option would be to get a cheap used car just to tie you over until you know what you really want.
I am in a similar Position. XW and I leased a new car in 2015 on a 5 year contract. The car is a very sensible Family car, best Price/value available at the time. We both Chose this car becuse it is quite spacey though cheap for fuel, tax and insurance. When XW left she took our 2nd car (old but paid off) and I kept the new one, I paid for it but im caught in the 5 year trap until 2020. When we sold our house XW bought a used but very nice BMW (cash), I still had 2 years on my/our contract.

My Problem now is what to do next year? I part of me wants to get a similar car again, new so I have the reliability as i Need it for work. The other part of me totally loved driving through the states last year in the Mustang convertible and wants a Young used Mustang convertible (black, not RED  :D). Its more expensive to run and not so Environment friendly BUT FUN !
Its a tough one for sure, ill probably be sensible but who knows???
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online OffRoad

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2019, 12:28:08 AM »
How about a cheaper,  barely used shiny European vehicle? I'm not much on European vehicles, so I have no real suggestions.  Last time I bought a car for me, it was a  6 year old Asian  shiny off road vehicle with a sun roof and killer stereo. And I'm a Chevy gal. But I did learn that when I next have to buy, it will be a killer sound system with a vehicle wrapped around it.  ;D.
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Whyus

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2019, 01:12:04 AM »
But I did learn that when I next have to buy, it will be a killer sound system with a vehicle wrapped around it.  ;D.
I love you offroad, we could do some serious mileage together for sure  ;)
K has a brand new VW California beach for the next 6 months, its awesome and has everything EXCEPT A CD PLAYER!!!!!!!  :o WTF, I mean WTF????? She would have put one in given the Chance, she is pissed off about it too.
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Silver

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2019, 01:53:36 AM »
Following along Savvy.
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline Anjae

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #15 on: May 15, 2019, 01:02:27 PM »
Anjae, the list is way too normal.  I do think he's one of the most aggressive.  Not too many go to the level xH has.

No, not too many go to Mr Savy's level and only a few are worst, Mr J, Mr In It and Mr LP being some of those.

Glad to know you have a financial planer and that the new years will be rosier than you though.

Weren't you going to get the red sports car?  ;)
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Savoir FaireTopic starter

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #16 on: May 17, 2019, 06:23:20 AM »
I am thinking about a red sports car but it's probably a bit too MLCerish for me ;D and xH has already done that.

XH's previous preferences are pushing me to something different than 'the usual'.  We always had the standard family Toyota or other Japanese made car and now xH has a Kia Sportage top model of course which makes me want a Sportage as much as the plague or cooties.

In Australia the European cars - Mercedes Benz, BMW, Audi etc, have a luxury car tax applied which makes them more attractive to those who can afford them and to LBS's who would really love one 8)

Have any of you actually seen the new Mercedes A class!!  You can talk to that car and it does what you tell it!  Incredible.  The sound system is to die for and it has 24 color ambient lighting!!  Now we are talking!! 

It has as standard here, a 20 inch touch screen which is super cool and you can get a black package which comes with back grille and wheels and quad exhaust.  I would look way more mysterious with this one, don't you think?   ;)

I will dream a little longer, talk with my advisor and maybe take your advice and get the sensible little non Kia car in the interim.  I hope xH's Sportage's heated seats catch fire and burn his and ow's backsides off!! very nice visual even if it is a bit naughty.

I had a phone message left by my lawyer asking if I had any news??  I thought it was a strange question as she knows the property settlement is in two weeks so I called her.  She's feeling edgy and informed me this is the longest stretch of time  since 2016 xH has not contacted for some ridiculous legal reason and even in 2016 he was writing weekly abusive letters to child support about not paying me.

She says she can find a few reasons for him to write letters to demand payment for petty stuff which he hasn't done and she's suspicious he may hit me with a letter just before settlement, because that's what he's always done before.  She's on high alert.  Three months without abuse from him is the longest in six years.

Maybe he's getting a bit more 'thinky'.  I also thought it strange. He doesn't contact me directly but the letters never stopped until now.

Back to the car magazines Hmmmm......Mercedes A class or wait for the new GLA? because I am partial to sitting a little higher and the new GLA is going to have the 20 inch screen,  24 color ambient lighting and a Harman Kardon sound system.  Audi Q2 is super cool and the BMW X1 has a gorgeous interior and sleek black package.  Decisions, decisions.......
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #17 on: May 17, 2019, 09:11:24 AM »
I vote for the Benz. And you deserve it my friend.

I don't love that your L is "nervous" and telling you about it. I often tell people that as a L, I am a "paid worrier." In other words, I am the one who worries for the client. Anyway, just my two judgy cents. LOL.

Since there has been radio silence though, wondering if xh in thinky mode. Wouldn't that be nice?


I feel I have done a LOT of work on becoming a truly grounded and independent woman.  I didn't have many FOO issues, as my childhood was lovely, such a blessing. I had become co-dependent with xh and thought I couldn't live without him and I know I am fine  now.


Thanks for writing this Savvy. I always thought of myself as independent, but when I was totally decimated at BD, realized I was also probably codependent.  Nice to know you can work through it.

Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Online OffRoad

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #18 on: May 17, 2019, 09:51:33 AM »
Mercedes is not my thing. It still looks like a sedan on the outside. But maybe that is your stealth advantage ;D. I could enjoy pretty lights insude though. Now if you want talk Ferrari, I'll help you shop. :)

Adding a tax makes something MORE attractive? I don't think I will ever understand that. But since my idea of a perfect vehicle is one I control with my hands and not my voice, I'll likely never catch up to anything "luxury" because I am too much of a Luddite.

I hope you find the perfect car that works for you. A car is a joy to drive, imo, and if you have to commute, good to have something you love.
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Anjae

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #19 on: May 17, 2019, 03:29:51 PM »
Didn't Ursa posted a great red car, a BMW, I think, that was a far less obvious sports car on your previous thread? A car you talk to and does what you want? Seems like Kitt from the Knight Rider come true.  ;) ;D

I always thought of myself as independent, but when I was totally decimated at BD, realized I was also probably codependent.  Nice to know you can work through it.

BD is a very extreme situation. People may, and often do, behave in ways that are unusual for them. 
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

 

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