Author Topic: My Story Somebody That I Used To Know  (Read 2907 times)

Online UrsaMajor

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My Story Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #20 on: May 20, 2019, 03:34:47 AM »
Here you go Savvy..... This is the Australian version.... Full review here

https://www.drive.com.au/new-car-reviews/2018-skoda-octavia-rs245-review-116608
Me - 56
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Savoir FaireTopic starter

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #21 on: May 20, 2019, 04:50:29 AM »
Thanks for all the replies and Ursa, I have the Skoda on my list, it's truly beautiful.

KIT, I was also surprised my lawyer is worried and let me know. I thought she must know something I don't, but she would need to tell me if she had heard anything and I really have no clue why xH isn't trying harder to make my life as difficult as possible because that's what he actually told me way back - 'I will make sure you get NOTHING"  in his best monster tone.

As many here have said, the sale of the land may bring him undone due to his total love of the place.  It's hard for me to drive home just how much that place meant to both of us, but to him it was his castle and the place he wanted to be for the rest of his life.  The kids wanted to be married there and had chosen their favorite spot for the ceremony when they were teenagers.

It would have been easy for him to buy me out and he did want to at the beginning of his crisis. Probably ow didn't like the place and made him give it up, so that might be her undoing too.

Nine days until settlement folks, fingers crossed I hear crickets from him.

After I have my share of the proceeds, I will sit and wait for a while before buying too many Gucci bags ;)

My legal fees are ten times more than the national average and ALL due to  XH's constant letters of objection to me breathing or having the audacity to want any of HIS money.

It's been a huge battle and I really do deserve to be happy in the future, no matter what that looks like.

The latest news of my friend's sisters husband - the 15 year long MLCer who is reconnecting - he is getting closer and closer.  They are having many family dinners together and the ow of 15 years doesn't know.  Apparently he is looking like his old self and they are having some talks about the future.  My friend is wary but her sister has BIG expectations and I suppose after 15 years, she has been able to show herself she doesn't need him and can ask him to lave at any time.  They are still legally married.  I can't begin to imagine how she is feeling after so many years apart, and he has been with the same  ow all this time and totally sure she was 'the one'. - now she isn't.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline Anjae

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #22 on: May 20, 2019, 10:48:07 AM »
Fingers crossed that all goes well with the  settlement.

Thank you for keeping updating on your friend whose husband has been in MLC for 15 years. I think the part I don't like is that he is having dinner with your friend and his OW of 15 years does not know. Talking about the future while he is still with OW? Not sure if it makes sense. Maybe.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Savoir FaireTopic starter

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #23 on: May 21, 2019, 01:59:44 AM »
Yes Anjae, I don't like that he's having dinner with his first family and leaving the ow in the dark.

It appears he hasn't wanted to be with ow for a while now but hasn't the courage to tell her. The LBS knew from the beginning it wasn't a normal marriage break up and has just stayed in the background waiting, without any support from a site like we have.  I have offered for her to access RCR's articles so she has some idea of what she may be facing, but my friend told me her sister wouldn't be open to any help as she has suggested some help with his MLC in the past and was met with a firm "NO".

I suppose after waiting 15 years she feels she can cope with anything.  I don't get the impression he was particularly nasty during his crisis, just certain the ow was the one for him.  The catalyst 15 years ago were serious work problems and the death of his mother.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #24 on: May 21, 2019, 02:03:42 AM »
So, the bottom line is that First x is now the OW to the OW?

Hmmmmmm ....
Me - 56
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Savoir FaireTopic starter

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #25 on: May 21, 2019, 03:00:33 AM »
It appears that way Ursa! 
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Online CanLetGo

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #26 on: May 21, 2019, 04:45:33 AM »
The countdown is on...hope no last minute surprises from H...interesting lawyer contacted you.

I’m in the X1, cheap enough not to pay luxury car tex. LOVE the heated seats, especially after night shift. Hope my butt doesn’t catch on fire 😂

Looking forward to your settlement day. I actually got a speeding fine in the mail today, very late as said X1 still in ex’s name, he had 1 job to do in the settlement, ONE...he didn’t do it, and received the five, had to sign a stat dec to say it wasn’t him 🙄
Me 45
H 49
3 young adult kids
BD December 2013, left home August 2014, D June 2018
OW 17 years younger

Offline Anjae

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #27 on: May 21, 2019, 04:40:26 PM »
So, the bottom line is that First x is now the OW to the OW?

Hmmmmmm ....

As it often the case with some LBS. We have a few LBS on HS who are the X being the OW/OM to OW/OM. I find it quite odd, but what do I know.

It is pity your friend's sister does not want any support with her husband's MLC. Nothing that can be done about it.

After 15 years the last thing I would go for is being OW to OW. We all know what tends to happen when MLCers cake year so late in MLC, they delay getting rid of OW/OM because the LBS is fine with them having OW/OM.

It is sad to think your friend's sister may be ruining a good reconnection/reconciliation for lack of boundaries.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline in it

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #28 on: May 21, 2019, 05:35:49 PM »
Just a quick read through looks like he's cheating on the other woman with his wife. This guy has issues and it's not an MLC.
Fifteen years? How long would you make an excuse for someone to have a MLC?
Is there any way anybody on this site can see some situations for what they are and possibly not a MLC?

He cheats. That's who he IS. And more than likely he will cheat on her again.

Why she stayed married to him I have no idea.
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Somebody That I Used To Know
« Reply #29 on: May 21, 2019, 05:44:12 PM »
Although, there is something quite poetic about being the OW to the OW.  I'm petty and spiteful like that tho. ;)
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

 

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