Author Topic: My Story This learning and growing is exhausting :)  (Read 1217 times)

Offline Sam I Am

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My Story Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2019, 12:54:22 PM »
66 - Still here and following along.

I am so impressed how much you have grown!  You have a lot to be proud of.

Please please please......no regrets over not meeting him.  He will come back around sometime again in the future. 

No regrets because you did what was best for YOU at the time!  Keep that in mind!  YOU are important and YOU are the prize!

I love your grateful list!  It is awesome!  Keep drinking that cool aid and you will be surprized when you look back to see your growth too!

I can't tell you how happy I am for you!   Wishing I could send you real hugs! 

Take care of YOU!

Sam
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.19 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Schratz66Topic starter

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2019, 06:07:42 AM »
I should have learned from WhyUs - when he said his thread was boring all hell broke lose.
Now that I said I was enjoying life - Wham - life throws another curve ball....

We noticed last night that one of the grandratties has a mass on the side of her stomach. Of course trying to find an exotic pet vet in our rural area is a feat in itself. Found one, but cannot get in until next week. D of course is beside herself with panic and sadness over yet another possible loss and dag-nabbit I can't blame her, but am being the strong role model assuring her we will do whatever we can to get her treated or make her comfortable.

Meanwhile, my brother, who I rarely hear from, contacted me yesterday and just wanted to tell me that he is in love. Never mind that he is married - shocker, I know. He married his OW 13 years ago and is now cheating on her - Karma Bus. But he has no intention of leaving as OW has money and property that he does not want to lose. I didn't even know how to respond to him and just shook my head as I am reading his messages.....they are so crazy and so self assured that it's all about their happiness

No contact from H and I am settling back into a peaceful routine and count my blessings.


Me 52
H 51
AD 22 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2019, 06:20:07 AM »
I hope that the vet can help. Loosing pets is hard and when it is stacked one on top of another, it is even more difficult....

As for your brother.... FFS... they never learn do they... Until they get their head out of their .... fog....




If his current W/former OW has money and property and she finds out he's out doin' someone else, he may find himself getting the big boot out the door, regardless of what HE thinks will happen/what he wants... Remember, their R STARTED because he was cheating so she will likely be suspicious anyway...
Me - 56
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Sam I Am

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2019, 07:57:36 AM »
So sorry to hear about the grandrattie.....hope all will be ok!  Thoughts and prayers coming your way!
10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home into spare room 
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW (another state)
9.4.18  Moved back-Living with Parents 
11.1.18  OW moved back.  H living w/her in D's basement room. 
11.19 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.19 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced to my inner circle that he moved to sisters  inc all belongings
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis

4.83 Started Dating
8.10.85  Married

D -29 Married with 2 children  Lives Local
S - 27 Engaged in Prof School across country
3 Dogs (he left them all behind - taking care of them but not really visiting or interacting with them yet)

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2019, 05:29:38 AM »
Why on Earth would he contact his sister to inform her he is cheating on his wife, when she is a LBS?!  :o ::)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Shelly7435

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2019, 07:45:53 AM »
Stronger for sure. You are definitely a prize. He needs to work for you.
M 52
H 47
M 12 years; together 17 years
D17, S27
Summer 2014 - H wanted to runaway
9/14 I was diagnosed with Breast cancer
11/14 Surgery for BC..3 day after my father dies
11/14 BD 2 days after surgery. I have no passion for you.
2/15 moved out
Dated each other all year affection back on..
3/16 moved home
7/16 Diagnosed with Breast cancer again
8/16 No affection again. I knew something was wrong.
9/16 Another surgery for Breast Cancer
9/16 BD 11 days after surgery discovered -EA with much younger W from Work. That is over. I think he has meaningless flings. Work is his mistress
10/16 I filed for D (financial reasons)
10/16 I moved out.
10/16 Now off and on vanisher
5/17 Divorce final

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2019, 06:08:43 PM »
Following along with you, S66.
After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Offline FearNot

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #17 on: May 19, 2019, 06:44:47 AM »
Sorry to hear about your family pet!
As for your bro, no wonder you had no response. WTH?  <hugs>
M 46
H 40
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline Schratz66Topic starter

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2019, 08:25:55 AM »
We were able to get an appointment for Grandrattie for Wednesday. Did some more research online - jeez, how did we ever survive without Google. Anyway, looks like a mammary tumor that occurs frequently and most likely will be benign. Depending on the vets suggestion it will either have to be removed or try chemo like medication- who knew they have all this for little critters as well.
We shall remain hopeful and positive until told otherwise.

The moon last night was gorgeous but did inflict a bad dream - I was working for H and he decided to no longer speak to me and act as if I didn’t exist and I woke up with a broken heart. Feeling much better after my first cup of coffee watching baby squirrels play in the yard while Eloise is demanding her peanuts :)

I wonder if I don’t hear from H for another few weeks, if I should ask him out for drinks ? What’s your thoughts ? I’m not sure - on one hand I don’t want to frighten him further back but then what if he felt rejected and thinks I should approach now ?

We had a massive monsoon like thunderstorm pass through last night, but thankfully all my young vegetable plants survived and the basement stayed dry. Going to spend the day outside Soaking up sun and peace.


Me 52
H 51
AD 22 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away

Online Treasur

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Re: This learning and growing is exhausting :)
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2019, 09:04:47 AM »

Jmo, 66, but maybe squirrels are nicer to focus on than brain monkeys? Let it sit bc it might just be an emotional reaction to your dream? And if your h wants to see you, if it matters enough, he will ask again...and I suspect that will feel nicer than you asking?

And your brother? SMH...well anyone who boasts about their betrayal of someone else bc they are SO happy....not much empathy or wisdom there right? No wonder you were speechless...probably was a useful reminder though of how impossible it would have been for anyone to stop our spouses trashing their lives too. As a sane adult, one can see a number of outcomes to his choice....none of them look very good though do they? Well, maybe a little karmic justice smile for his first wife if she ever gets to hear about it I suppose.  :)

I hope your rattie gets the help they need and all is well. X
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

 

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