Author Topic: Contact Continues  (Read 5358 times)

Offline Milly

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3075
  • Gender: Female
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #70 on: November 20, 2019, 02:26:57 AM »
Thanks for updating us, Yellow, and very happy to hear that things are good at the moment. I can't imagine what it would feel like to have your H for Thanksgiving after 6 years. I hope you have a lovely day.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

Offline YellowroseoftexasTopic starterTopic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 193
  • Gender: Female
  • I HAVE 2 CHOICES-BE HAPPY OR BE HAPPY
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #71 on: December 21, 2019, 01:15:07 PM »
Thought I would update my thread. 

I'm fighting the no expectations rule. Not sure why it's so hard for me but it is.  I have to keep healthy distance or I become his 'wife' again.  He divorced me so he didn't want me as a wife so I have to remember boundaries.  But I love him so much.  How crazy is that???????

Husband is having Christmas at his house.  I was invited but I'm not going.  The invite came thru our daughters not from him.  He told them I was invited and they extended the invitation.  Either way, I'm not going.

Went on a blind date.  The guy was OK, but it's a no.  However, he made me feel like a woman.  Not a mom or middle age 55 year old has been.......but........a sexxy desirable woman.  That felt so good and gave  me a confidence boost.

I sometimes feel husband and I agree both watching each other to see who will make the first move toward THE CONVERSATION. He seems afraid and I'm stubborn.  So nothing is happening.  I'm not putting myself in harms way. Not sure I'm strong enough to be hurt again. 

If this is a touch and go it's been a year long one.  But I'm not sure if we're headed anywhere.  Anyway, I'm rambling and going no where. 
Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton

Offline Seahorse

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1323
  • Gender: Female
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #72 on: December 21, 2019, 02:03:07 PM »
Yellow Rose

Nice to hear your update.
I'm sure it's been six long years.

One question - why was your date a "no"?  He sounds so lovely and seems to want to treat you well.  Are you holding out for further connection with your H?

Just curious as I often wonder about dating and what it would be like.  I FEEL like a 58 year old has-been and not sure that I would ever feel confident enough to date again.

Have a terrific holiday.  Since you won't be with H and daughters, what are your plans?

Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline YellowroseoftexasTopic starterTopic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 193
  • Gender: Female
  • I HAVE 2 CHOICES-BE HAPPY OR BE HAPPY
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #73 on: December 21, 2019, 02:52:02 PM »
Seahorse thanks for responding. You're making me think. 

When husband left I had a break down and was hospitalized in a behavioral health hospital.  I was diagnosed with PTSD which I suspect must lbs suffer from some form of trauma.  I guard my heart and peace. The thought of being outside my 'safety zone' (my home) with him causes anxiety so I'm very cautious.  More than likely it would be OK but the build up to the encounter take away my peace.  I hope that makes sense. 

I'm too close to the situation and can't see clearly.  Maybe he is trying............

I plan to hang out with church friends. I work at a hospital so I with the 24th and 26th.  One day off so I'm not doing much.  Our children and probably husband think I have a gentleman caller (remember The Glass Menagerie?). Didn't correct anyone. 
Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton

Offline Seahorse

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1323
  • Gender: Female
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #74 on: December 21, 2019, 02:56:17 PM »
Ahhh --
Your children don't know for sure?
It's good to let your H wonder after this long, I think.

I also am working on 24th and 26th.
Will have a quick holiday on 25th with S18 and S21 and S21GF.
No traveling.

Have a nice holiday with your friends from Church.

Sea
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline YellowroseoftexasTopic starterTopic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 193
  • Gender: Female
  • I HAVE 2 CHOICES-BE HAPPY OR BE HAPPY
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #75 on: December 21, 2019, 03:00:31 PM »
I don't share with my children or anyone else.  I journal my feelings. 

Hope you have a wonderful, peaceful and contented Christmas.  I speak blessings into your life. 
Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton

Offline Yo

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 209
  • Gender: Female
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #76 on: December 22, 2019, 10:40:42 AM »
Following! 💕
Yo ❤

Offline YellowroseoftexasTopic starterTopic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 193
  • Gender: Female
  • I HAVE 2 CHOICES-BE HAPPY OR BE HAPPY
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #77 on: January 16, 2020, 07:09:17 AM »
Thought I would update.  Husband seems to be progressing through the crisis. He's much more caring and thoughtful toward me.  Birthday is January 28th and he is trying to plan a surprise party for me.  Also getting our girls opinion for a gift.  We are in a good place.

I have met someone else and I really like him.  He's an older guy, 69 and I'm 56.  That seems like a HUGE age difference but he is in great shape.  It feels so so so so good to have a man that wants to make you happy. Maybe it's the new but I like being wanted and made to feel special. 

So.......it's true what they say about the lbs moving on.  After the MLC there is a strong possibly that we have simply moved on. 

Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton

Offline CheerHeart

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 91
  • Gender: Female
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #78 on: January 16, 2020, 07:29:34 AM »
Wow this sounds amazing! Happy for you.

May I ask how you met this other guy? Online or just by going about your daily life?
The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself. - Bill Murray

Offline YellowroseoftexasTopic starterTopic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 193
  • Gender: Female
  • I HAVE 2 CHOICES-BE HAPPY OR BE HAPPY
Re: Contact Continues
« Reply #79 on: January 16, 2020, 07:49:06 AM »
My friend from church introduced us.  Not sure I can get past that much of an age difference AND I love my husband.  I'm willing to try to give it a try. 
Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.