Author Topic: My Story Standing by a Glacier  (Read 749 times)

Offline PJ Will Be OKTopic starter

  • MLCer Type: Low-Energy
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  • Posts: 369
  • Gender: Male
My Story Re: Standing by a Glacier
« Reply #40 on: June 12, 2019, 04:30:59 PM »
Thanks Rose, Treasur, DBD and Music. I had a rough weekend. A really rough, raw emotion weekend. As in a trip to urgent care and a prescription for Xanax weekend.

I think I kind of feel like a piñata. If you've seen kids at a party hitting a piñata, you've seen how the blow that breaks the piñata isn't from the biggest kid or the strongest hit. But once the piñata is broken, it's spilling its guts on the lawn. I hit that point. And now I need time and a lot of prayer to put myself back together.

I'm a lot better now and the anxiety is mostly gone. I only took the Xanax for a couple nights to sleep. I may take some on the plane when I visit my folks in my home state tomorrow. I'll see how I feel then.

I still hope she doesn't leave. Not so much for my sake, but for our kids and soon-to-be DIL who lives with us. If my W is gone 3 months, we will be separated during my son's wedding. That would suck. Of course, the last time she left, she said she would be gone for two weeks but came back in 5 days. I don't think she's really equipped to live on her own. But, we'll see.

In any case, I sent my brother, dad and mom an email explaining all I wanted to say about what has happened and that I didn't want to talk about it when I'm there. My dad immediately emailed me back telling me to file for divorce (Like you divorced Mom? Thanks Dad. Super idea.) I'm using the time back home to make some contingency plans (reconnecting with former employers, etc..), but mostly I'm just hoping to do some fun things with family and old friends. And trying to think about anything but MLC.

I really feel like things may come to a head in a few months. Like she will either divorce me or move from withdrawal to acceptance. I certainly hope so. It may be a relief with her out of the house, but I don't know how much more of this I can endure.
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Together 28 years
Two adult kids, ours

BD #1: 2016 - EA
BD #2:  FA
W is still at home but says she's leaving.

Offline DaybyDay1

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Re: Standing by a Glacier
« Reply #41 on: June 12, 2019, 05:46:25 PM »
Oh PJ, this makes me so sad to read because I know the exact way you are feeling! It is just miserable.  Actually, miserable is not a strong enough word.  I don't know the words to describe it...

Just know that you have people around you to support you!  I am glad to hear you are going home and that your family knows what's going on.  The support of family can be so valuable.  It can also be pretty pushy so you were smart to ask them not to talk to you about it while you're there.  Everyone has your best interest at heart, but as we hear all the time, only you can decide what you are willing to put up with and how long you are willing to wait.  Basically, you have to live your own life and no one else's opinion really matters. 

Hang in there, my friend.  I'm praying for you.
Married 1997
BD: 9/14/17
Currently separated
Working on reconciliation one minute and divorce the next
Two Sons - 19 and 16

Offline 9393roo

  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Sr. Member
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  • Posts: 382
  • Gender: Female
Re: Standing by a Glacier
« Reply #42 on: June 12, 2019, 07:13:00 PM »
I’m sorry PJ, I think I mean it when I say we all have been there.

Please take care of PJ first, everything else you need to hand over to god or what ever higher power you  believe in.  I know for me getting away from the house and everything in it for a few days would save my sanity.  My H has been gone for 2 days and I feel like I can breathe a little easier.

I know you don’t want her to move out but you know you can’t stop her. I too had to go through my sons wedding at the height of replay.  I remember thinking as I walked down the aisle with my H “I really don’t like you right now! “.

You are right not talking about this with your family. I regret telling some people I told. Everyone has an opinion some care is genuine some is not.

I wish you peace in your trip, you deserve it.
Husband 53
Me 53
Kids 3 sons 27,25.22 1 daughter 18
BD #1 Spring 2016
BD #2 Winter 2017
married 30 years.  Together 32
H never moved out except 3 weeks after BD #1
OW 30 year single mom employee-He says EA only I don’t believe him.
He is working on things and far from being cooked.

Offline Treasur

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Re: Standing by a Glacier
« Reply #43 on: June 12, 2019, 10:04:59 PM »
Your folks will want to help. They will give you advice bc they will think that will help you and stop the pain. If you do find yourself talking about it, most folks in RL don't get MLC but do get the idea that someone is depressed or seems to be having a breakdown of some sort and behaving irrationally. Tell them what you DO need instead, how they CAN help you. Sleep, food, distraction...whatever it is you feel you need. Use the time to breathe and figure out what will help you endure what is going on. Tbh, when you feel like a piñata, it is not a time to make big decisions is it? I hope the break gives you a bit of peace to recharge, PJ.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2019, 10:06:54 PM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg


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