Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light  (Read 3477 times)

Offline Slow FadeTopic starterTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4994
  • Gender: Female
My Story Reconnecting Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« on: May 24, 2019, 02:54:43 PM »
Ok. Starting a new thread! Almost forgot how!

A new twist in the tale that I'm now dealing with....My S16 posted on Instagram the following; "Does anyone know the fastest way to kill yourself."

I'm beyond frightened...........

We are trying to peel the onion and find out what's going on....... :'(
« Last Edit: May 28, 2019, 09:11:28 AM by OldPilot »
Married 18
BD April 2012
Left home Nov 2012
Home May 2016

Offline Rosetintedglasses

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1152
  • Gender: Female
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2019, 04:32:36 PM »
Oh Slow fade,

That’s awful. Not sure what to say but I believe telling him you love him may be more powerful than you think so it’s a start.

Thinking of you 💕

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - 2016
BD2 - 2017
BD3 - Sept 2019
MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2018
OW2 - Feb 2019, age 30
H left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)

Offline PJ Will Be OK

  • MLCer Type: Low-Energy
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 628
  • Gender: Male
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2019, 05:40:08 PM »
Oh my God, SF. That is terrifying.

My D said some similar things when she was about 13. Just out of nowhere. I definitely feel your pain. In my D's case, things passed quickly with no known permanent damage. Hoping and praying for the best for your family.
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Together 28 years, married 27
Two adult kids, ours

BD #1: 2016 - EA
BD #2: 2018 - FA
W moved out - June 2019
OM#3 - July 2019
W asks for divorce - August 2019
Divorce final - September 2019
Card-carrying member of the Iffer Party

My thread:;topicseen

Offline Mortesbride

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2678
  • Gender: Female
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2019, 09:14:27 AM »
Coming along and sorry to read about your son. Does he have a good friend you could reach out to speak to him? Sometimes it is easier for teenagers to talk about stuff like that with someone they aren't related to or feel threatened by.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Milly

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3088
  • Gender: Female
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2019, 01:29:38 PM »
Slow, I'm really sorry to hear this. I like what Morte suggests, speaking to his friend. I'm sure you're doing everything you can to help him. That's all you can do. Sending you and your S big hugs.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

Offline hopeandfaith

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2149
  • Gender: Female
    • Clare Brown Life Coach
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2019, 07:59:57 PM »
Oh gee Slow Fade, that is scary. I have a D17 who is swimming in some very dark waters at the moment too. 

With your S, I feel like it is a cry for help rather than a plan he has decided on because honestly, you could google that question without anyone ever knowing what you were planning to do and talking you out of it.  He seems to feel stuck and it might feel like its his only option so talking to him about his options and other supports might help.  There are a lot of online forums nowadays that allow them to read along like we do before dipping their toe in the water of actually asking for help.  It will help him feel less alone 24/7.

Sending hugs x
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D20, D18 and S16

Offline LearningIamOk

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8353
  • Gender: Female
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2019, 06:50:34 AM »
I have been where you are SF. All you can do is love him and be his safe place.

Offline bluerose

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1452
  • Gender: Female
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2019, 11:43:37 AM »
     My d14 was 11 when she started cutting herself and thinking about suicide. When i found out i got her into counseling. She says it didnt help. What did help is her brothers. She didnt want to hurt or disappoint them. I let her know how much she was loved and just be there for her.
     Its a frightening place to be in when they are in thst state of mind. Sometimes i was to afraid to go to work and what i would come home to. She actually asked me to hide the razors one day before i left.
        She is past all that now. She is realizing how wonderful she can make her life. I asked my family for help keeping an eye on her. I was working 2 jobs at the time and couldnt do it by myself. They were more than willing to be there. I was very lucky that way.
    My heart goes out to you. Just let him know that you are there and reach out to friends and family. You are in my prayers.

Offline Savoir Faire

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5466
  • Gender: Female
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2019, 02:49:48 AM »
Oh my goodness SF, how terrifying.

I'm a bit worried you haven't done something quickly about this.  I hope you have.

I have a friend whose son did the same thing.  I begged him to go for help - fast!  I went to the house and wanted to take the kid with his Dad to a mental health expert.  I was told "everything will be ok"  The kid committed suicide two days later.

Sometimes it's a cry for help and sometimes not.  This boy's family don't have the options you have now and wish they did.  Please take him to an expert who deals with mental health problems and have him assessed.  Someone to talk to and maybe some appropriate medications along with some meditation and natural therapies could have him in a much better place quite quickly.  He's asking for help, reach out in a way that makes a difference.

Keep us posted.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way.'s thread)

Offline UrsaMajor

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 9792
  • Gender: Male
  • Live like they are never coming back
Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2019, 06:20:10 AM »
Good Grief!

That has to be scary! Like the others said, there are lots of things it COULD be but one thing it is is serious....
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.


SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (, and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.