Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light  (Read 3479 times)

Offline Slow FadeTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Reconnecting Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #80 on: January 16, 2020, 08:56:05 AM »
Thank you Milly and FTT........this is a death by 1000 cuts.

Mom continues to decline to the point where I couldn't bring her home for Christmas. We took Christmas to her and she didn't even connect that it was a Holiday. It was an odd holiday as I really had to change my roll from how it has "always" been and step up into rolls that my Mom always had and it felt really, really weird.  :P H was a trooper and S16 didn't miss a beat.

Mom is now incontinent, inappropriate to the point of coming out of her room with no clothes on and thinks the people on the TV are real.........sadness. They are moving her to the memory care unit this week. There are more staff to care for things and less "shock" and agitation when people do the things she's doing now.

All of that to say that H actually expressed a desire to "fight" for me and step in when I was distraught and crying and he was frustrated that he was out of town at that time. This is a behavior I hadn't seen since before MLC. Nice to see the squirrel peeking his head out of the tunnel!  ;D

S16, soon to be S17, is still in counseling. They are teasing out that a lot of his angst is actually anxiety and panic attacks. Both his primary doctor and counselor are working hand in hand to address this issue. For now, we are focusing on cognitive behavior therapy with the therapist and holding any medical intervention in reserve if the CBT doesn't help. Now that S16 has been able to put a name to his feelings and finds that there are others out there who share the same burden (his Mom being one of them  ::) ) he is much calmer about talking about it and working through it as opposed to running away from it. 

Life is life.....its messy, its painful, its difficult, its beautiful, its twists and turns, highs and lows.......all being wove together into a beautiful tapestry that we won't be able to see in its entirety until we cross over into eternity.

Hugs to everyone! xxxxxxxx.
Married 18
BD April 2012
Left home Nov 2012
Home May 2016

Offline xyzcf

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Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #81 on: January 16, 2020, 09:34:04 AM »
Sorry to hear about the deterioration in your mother. It is a terrible disease. I started working at an adult day center about a year ago, and I have been there long enough now to see the decline in some of the participants.
 My mom also had Alzheimer's for 12 years.

Glad that they are figuring out some stuff for your son..and that hubby stepped up for you!!!!

Thanks for your update. prayers always for all of us.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

Offline LearningIamOk

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Re: Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light
« Reply #82 on: January 20, 2020, 03:43:28 PM »
SF, I am sorry to hear of your mom's decline. It's a terrible thing to have to experience.

Great news that H has stepped up and S16 is making some headway with the counseling.

As my mom used to say, "It's a great life if you don't weaken".  Hang in there.
trying2bok

 

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