Author Topic: My Story The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot  (Read 1451 times)

Offline FearNotTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« on: May 28, 2019, 10:04:32 AM »
Previous Thread https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10451.0

Well here I am again and it's been a hectic couple weeks!!

THE HOUSE SOLD!! And we should come out ok on it. We got the offer last Sunday. They wanted me out by June 14th. I ended up having to speak to H on the phone regarding this and he was kind enough to have me on speakerphone with his moonbeam. >:( He was a complete ass when I told him that the time frame they wanted me out in wouldn't work. I needed a little more time. His response was, "well haven't you been looking?" I responded "No, actually I haven't really, considering it's been on the market for 8 months. Didn't think I would waste my time looking at places that wouldn't be there." I ended up speaking to him a couple days later and his tune was totally different. Sad how out of touch they are. He had no idea what we owed, what the penalties would me... freaked out about a price that was above what I told him our bottom line was. Just generally has his head really far up his arse or that V@g!n@l hypnosis is really messing with his mind.

Insert meltdown here....and then I had to pull my $h!tee together and figure out my life. This is hard.

Long story short, in the deal I have to be out by June 23rd. The conditions on the house are supposed to be lifted today. I am moving back into the city from my lovely little town, since I can't afford the rent there and the availability is very limited. It was a bit of a challenge to find something available in the short time frame, but I am moving to the top floor of a little house, in a little bit sketchy neighborhood. Not too sketchy hopefully  ::). There is a renter in the basement who seems like a decent guy. The landlord seems very personable and easy to deal with so I think I'm on the right track.

I have been liquidating the extra crap in the house. One of the guys I work with got a really sweet deal on H's precious home theater system. I have to say it brought me a little joy, thinking that had he known what I sold it for.... he would lose his mind!! Lol. But I needed it gone ASAP and there was cash to be had ;D. I've also been enjoying selling of some of the other crap of his!!

The affidavit for spousal has been put on hold for now, due to my financials changing. What a PITA. And get this... the courthouse lost our divorce affidavit 6 times. The lawyers assistant called me to let me know about the hold up. She said she would file it, then file number wouldn't exist, or it was never received, or they gave her a file number and when she went to use it, it didn't exist. She had never had that happen. I know everything happens for a reason, so I am curious as to why that took place  ::). Maybe so he could get served closer to his birthday on June 1  ;D.

My step dad is still in isolation, but he is doing ok. He has some pretty rough days. They finally said that he will never walk again.... hmmm pretty sure I could've told you that over a month ago. My mom is doing alright but is a little ruffled that I am moving back into the city as she doesn't drive there. I live close to the outskirts, so it is possible for her to do!!

Right now, just trying to pack, which is putting a bit of a damper on golf. The positive in that is that I will be able to afford to golf more, once the move is complete.

Well, I think that about sums it up. I don't have anything really prolific and insightful to start this thread with. Just a little morel livin la vida limbo for a few more weeks :D and trying to keep it together. I kinda thought it wouldn't be this hard to walk away after all this time.

Hugs N Prayers,
FN

M 48
H 41
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline Thunder

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2019, 11:20:03 AM »
Sweetie, it's always hard to walk away from your home, even if a person choose to do it. 
There's memories, but you will make new ones.

I sure wish they would have given you more time to get out.  There's always so much to do.

I had a bit of an evil grin on my face when you said you were selling his stuff..oh well he wanted this, right?
I hope you'll be happy in your new place, it takes awhile.  Once I got used to me new place and fixed it up the way I wanted it, I loved it.

Sorry to hear about your stepdad, but you already pretty much knew already he wouldn't be walking again.
Still sad to hear.

Well keep us updated on your progress, in between things, just so we know how everything is going.

Big Hug, Fear!
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Online Mitzpah

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2019, 04:21:25 PM »
FearNot,

I am reading along, it is good to see you firmly moving on.

I am glad you have sold your place and found a place to move to - hoping that you will find comfort in a place/space of your own.

Hoping your mom is able to deal with all the changes in her life too. My mother is elderly and widowed, she is finding life tough. She still insists on driving everywhere though. Will your SD be moving into assisted living now?

Hugs to you too!
M 58
H 58
S 27
D 24
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

Offline megogirl

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2019, 05:27:51 PM »
I kinda thought it wouldn't be this hard to walk away after all this time.

It's not only hard, but it's almost innocuous.

Because you know that your SO is in the throes of MLC, so can't process the magnitude of what they're doing.  So, who really *cares* what a random state has to say?!

I had to live this, but I fully understand it now.  The choice is simply where we will be "remarried" (Courthouse?  Vegas?  Who knows!)
« Last Edit: May 28, 2019, 05:30:15 PM by megogirl »

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #4 on: May 28, 2019, 08:20:21 PM »
FN - wow, big changes happening in living arrangements for you!  Hang in there, it sounds like you are on top of everything and dealing with stuff. 

Sorry that there is going to be some down time for golfing, but good to hear that once the dust settles you will be able to do it more often. 

Lost divorce affidavit? Six times?   Sheesh, that seems pretty bizarre, even for bureaucracy! 

Don't get too discouraged with all that packing and the emotions that go with moving.   We're here to support you.   
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline FearNotTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2019, 10:37:54 AM »
Thank you all for your support and hugs!!

Mitzpah- I'm sorry to hear of the loss in your family and the struggles your mom is facing.These changes are difficult for our parents  :'(  He is still in the hospital and will be going to palliative care unit when space comes available, due to his other illness.

Update:

The glitch.... conditions were extended on the house until 9 pm tonight. They want permits for the deck. That damn deck that has been the bane of my existence since we built that house. This was his dream deck, had to have it and it had to be ridiculous and dug a bigger hole that I never should've agreed too and here it biting him in the ass (and me a little, at least I still get to have a wine on it for now). H had to get a variance permit on it last summer when we listed the house due to the contractor making it a 1 ft bigger (can't exactly remember but it's in an older thread lol) than allowed by the town. He did follow through and do that. When he got it, he told me it was all good. (The following is on me to some degree because when we deal with these people we know they can't be trusted.) I believed it was all good. When he sent the papers to the realtor last night, it states that we were to have an electrical outlet inspected, railing installed and a couple other things and the variance expires in November of this year. So really... it wasn't all good. The twatwaddle probably didn't even reading it.( I'm starting to wonder if he is even literate anymore  :o). Today's text from him was " I hope it will all be ok". Seriously?!?!? I have kept my mouth shut because if I open, I am afraid of what might come out of it. I am grateful that he at least provided the paper work. I have decided that should there be issues with this, inspection needing to be booked, railing done or whatever comes back, it's not my problem. He walked away, he wanted the dream deck, he didn't communicate what the documentation actually entailed , he can deal with it. I'm not taking responsibility for it. It will work out the way that God has planned. But I do still have a burr up my butt that he is such nimrod right now. Lol. I am praying this all works out and that I don't loose the place I have lined up due to this.

Hugs N Prayers,
FN
M 48
H 41
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline Thunder

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2019, 12:10:09 PM »
Oh geeez, sorry to hear this hon but you're right, it is his to fix.  You just have to wonder what happens to their brain.   ::)

Hope things go smoothly.  Darn it.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2019, 08:17:09 PM »

You just have to wonder what happens to their brain.   ::)


Thunder, you have no idea how many times I have said this or thought it over the last 3 plus years! 

FN - sending positive vibes your way. 
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2019, 09:41:46 PM »
Attaching

Thinking of you as you move.  That was very much an emotional time in my life after BD.  I'm hoping things aren't too stressful for you.
M-41
H-43
S-19
D-17
S-14
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Has several dating profiles on POF and another but no major signs of anything new.

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10630.new#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

"If we don't take time to heal, we will bleed on people who didn't cut us."

Offline FearNotTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: The Story Continues- Sold to the only bidder- FearNot
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2019, 02:02:33 PM »
Thank you all!

The house deal is officially done. Sold. Moving and moving on. I have been packing and liquidating things because the space I am going to is much smaller. It does feel good to purge. I have 11 days until the movers come. I can't even really put it into words right now. I've been so busy that I don't really have much time to think about it and when I do take a moment, I almost feel blank ( if blank can be a feeling Lol).

Hugs N Prayers,
FN
M 48
H 41
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/18

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

 

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