Author Topic: My Story Love Always Wins  (Read 1093 times)

Offline Savoir Faire

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My Story Re: Love Always Wins
« Reply #60 on: June 13, 2019, 10:29:31 PM »
Anon, we need to look at the fact they become the opposite of who they were.

My xH didn't care about money before BD and now it's all he thinks about.  He was a great Dad when the kids were little but as they grew into teenagers, he had big issues and found parenting them really difficult, a result of his FOO issues maybe?  After BD he treated them as possessions and couldn't get enough of them - all opposite of who he was just before crisis hit.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline Rosetintedglasses

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Re: Love Always Wins
« Reply #61 on: June 14, 2019, 04:00:47 PM »
That makes me wonder if the leavers who are emotionally invested in their kids and meet their financial responsibilities toward them and LBS are even in MLC.

Could it be that they are in the MLC tunnel but don’t take those particular detours within the tunnel because of circumstance? My H is emotionally invested in kids and meets financial responsibilities but is most definitely in MLC. His may be milder slightly as his chosen OW decided not to leave her marriage meaning my H didn’t have her influence as much as other MLCers, potentially giving him a straighter route in the tunnel. I suppose it’s like questioning if someone who doesn’t leave their family home is in MLC. Maybe they are in the tunnel but not detouring down that path because of circumstance. MLC seems to be the same but different each time, isn’t it.

MIL was enraged at H for today. I get it. Hardest part in all this is seeing the pain our children suffer. If only MIL could have seen all this when she was a M instead of a Grandmother, we might not be in this predicament today....

Yes exactly KIT
Sending love
Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - 2016
BD2 - 2017
PA with MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2017 then EA
H left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9313.30

Offline KeepItTogetherTopic starter

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Re: Love Always Wins
« Reply #62 on: Today at 11:07:36 AM »
Hi all--thanks for your continued support and advice.

So yesterday was Father's Day and H actually picked up S12 to go play golf. I did wish H a happy fathers day via e-mail. He responded 2 hours later via text saying thank you. I didn't reply back tho bc I was likely blocked after that. I also got a couple gifts for him from S12. Of course since they were pretty nice, H knew I got them for him, but he didn't acknowledge or thank me for them. That's ok,  he is likely mortified that he even got something since he ghosted me on Mothers Day this year.

I had my Dad and sister, and my FIL/MIL and aunt and uncle over for dinner yesterday--an early dinner where we grilled some great steaks.  H and S12 were golfing when everyone arrived. And when he dropped off S12 at home we were all on the back patio, which looked amazing with all me new furniture that I assembled all by myself, thank you very much! ;) Anyway, H actually came outside to say hi to everyone and wished a Happy Fathers Day to his dad and my dad. I just stood there smiling not really adding anything to the conversation. He was there fro a few minutes and left. I was actually impressed he came out there. I know it took much courage to do that. In a strange way, I was proud of him for doing it. Not meaning to sound condescending, but I was.

MIL was angry of course, that he didn't stay and that he kissed her on top of her head. I think she is embarrassed over what he has done so she thinks being mad at him is what I (and my family) want to see. But it isn't. We all know H is in a terrible place emotionally. MIL even told my aunt that she is shocked that  they all don't hate H and are actually kind to him when they see him. My Aunt just said, "We know the real H. And we think he is still in there somewhere."  So do I.
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline Rosetintedglasses

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Re: Love Always Wins
« Reply #63 on: Today at 04:10:49 PM »
KIT

Just wondering if you messaged H afterwards thanking him for popping out to the patio? It does sound like a difficult thing and it’s the kind of thing I might thank my H for doing. Only if you are ok with it, won’t get any expectations and if you think it’s worth saying to him of course!

Nice to be ‘impressed’ by your MLCer for a change isn't it!

Good on your family for treating him well enough to allow this to happen too, it’s not easy for anyone this.

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - 2016
BD2 - 2017
PA with MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2017 then EA
H left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9313.30

 

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