Author Topic: My Story Shocks sis recovered MLCer  (Read 3250 times)

Online bluerose

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My Story Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2019, 12:36:48 PM »
         Shocksis,
                 I was wondering how big of a part does the ow/om have on how the mlcer feels about the lbs. The hatered they have towards them.

Offline ShockandaweTopic starter

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2019, 12:44:29 PM »
Hi Blue

In my case the om totally agreed with me and add things to make my ex h appear worse. Of course with hindsight it was obvious that in the case of the om he was looking after his best interest.
The more he could turn me against my ex h the better for him. He was promoting himself to the point he became the most important person to me.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2019, 07:27:42 PM by Savoir Faire »

Offline megogirl

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #12 on: June 09, 2019, 01:15:24 PM »
As the EA was in its early stages I felt excitement and understanding. It’s very addictive and gives some feeling when you’re numb to everything else.

Yes, this occurred to me the other day.

They are numb to their spouses, yet get an instant hormonal rush from the OP.  Better to feel something than nothing, so wa-la!  The addiction is born!

Q: how long did it take for you to know that the OM wouldn't last?
« Last Edit: June 09, 2019, 02:01:27 PM by megogirl »

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #13 on: June 09, 2019, 01:55:44 PM »
Another thing people talk about here, that seems to vary MLCer to MLCer...

When you decided you were finished with OM..did you break up/make up many times before it was actually done?

Some MLCers seems to just drop the OP cold turkey, while others seem to get stuck in a loop of break up/make up.
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline Standing Strong

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2019, 02:03:28 PM »
Hi Shock-Sis,

Did you try any touch and goes with your ex-H during this process? You said he hung on for awhile until you convinced him to go.
Something that people talk about a lot is the MLC'er checking on their LBS to make sure they're right where the left them.
Was this the case for you? If it was, how was this achieved and what was your thought process while doing it?

Another thing which is discussed here and elsewhere is when the LBS drops the rope and gives up, the MLC'er sometimes will panic. Did you experience this?

Thanks!

-SS
W - 38
M - 41
Together 24 years, M 21
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

Offline megogirl

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2019, 02:10:13 PM »
One more Q SS?

Did you ever feel panicked that your H was "slipping away" and if so, did that lead to your Awakening?

Offline ShockandaweTopic starter

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2019, 02:23:31 PM »
Hi Mego, Morte and SS,

Ok in turn the realisation the om would never work came fully after around 2 years. Remember he was an EA long before a PA and the distance made it last longer I think. I was jetting off to see him every couple of weeks and it was exciting.

I dropped him completely with no on again off again I just ended it and that was that.

Touch and go’s I visited my ex h’s flat a couple of times and though I enjoyed having a look around and I guess I was checking if he had someone else. I still felt numb. My Ea was still an EA at this point but my ex h got together with his now w within about 4 weeks of me asking him to leave so at that point I had no more touch and go’s and also didn’t really feel much about it other than anger and using it to justify my PA. It was only later when my feelings started to return that I felt deep hurt.

Hope this helps

Shocks sis xx
« Last Edit: June 10, 2019, 11:25:09 AM by OldPilot »

Offline Songanddance

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2019, 03:06:44 PM »
Quote
My Ea was still an EA at this point but my ex h got together with his now w within about 4 weeks of me asking him to leave

Sorry so can you clarify how far in to your crisis you were when you asked your H to leave?  How long had your EA been going on for?

Just clarify that part of your timeline please?
BD march 2013
Stay at home MLCer
OW for 3.5 years - finishing Autumn 2016
Reconnection started 2017 through 2018.
2019 is the year of Decisions!

Offline megogirl

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #18 on: June 09, 2019, 03:10:38 PM »
It was only later when my feelings started to return

What, do you suppose, prompted that to happen?

Perhaps you don't even know (?!)
« Last Edit: June 09, 2019, 03:11:54 PM by megogirl »

Offline Standing Strong

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #19 on: June 09, 2019, 04:28:25 PM »
So a total of 4 years from BD?
Was there a 2 year period for you leading up to BD like so many people have?

Thanks!

-SS
W - 38
M - 41
Together 24 years, M 21
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

 

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