Author Topic: My Story Shocks sis recovered MLCer  (Read 3247 times)

Offline Jackolar12

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My Story Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #20 on: June 09, 2019, 04:46:19 PM »
Hi Shocks-sis, were you going through peri menopause at this time of crisis?
Kind regards
Jackolar 12

Online Shelly7435

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #21 on: June 09, 2019, 07:32:26 PM »
Thank you so much for answering questions! I truly appreciate your responses.
Following along.
M 52
H 47
M 12 years; together 17 years
D17, S27
Summer 2014 - H wanted to runaway
9/14 I was diagnosed with Breast cancer
11/14 Surgery for BC..3 day after my father dies
11/14 BD 2 days after surgery. I have no passion for you.
2/15 moved out
Dated each other all year affection back on..
3/16 moved home
7/16 Diagnosed with Breast cancer again
8/16 No affection again. I knew something was wrong.
9/16 Another surgery for Breast Cancer
9/16 BD 11 days after surgery discovered -EA with much younger W from Work. That is over. I think he has meaningless flings. Work is his mistress
10/16 I filed for D (financial reasons)
10/16 I moved out.
10/16 Now off and on vanisher
5/17 Divorce final

Offline Bewildered survivor

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #22 on: June 09, 2019, 10:06:22 PM »
Following along with interest.

Thank you for sharing


Online Disillusioned

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #23 on: June 09, 2019, 11:01:06 PM »
Hi Shocks-sis, were you going through peri menopause at this time of crisis?

I'm interested in this answer, as well.
M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
STBXW filed D behind my back.

Offline ShockandaweTopic starter

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #24 on: June 10, 2019, 12:08:47 AM »
Going to see my sister this afternoon so I’ll put all of your questions to her and get back to you all a little bit later on today

Shock xx

Offline Treasur

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #25 on: June 10, 2019, 12:53:11 AM »
Shock...don't forget to use your thread for you too  :)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline ShockandaweTopic starter

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #26 on: June 10, 2019, 02:19:05 AM »
Hi Treasur
Don’t worry I will. I think it’s important just as it is for me to learn as much as we can and we can all learn together.
Shock xx

Offline AlvinTheMaker

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #27 on: June 10, 2019, 04:18:45 AM »
Hi shock and Shocks-sis,

I've got a question that I've been pondering.... 

Did you on any point of pre-BD/replay stage dispute the way you felt about your partner?  I.e. did you pose yourself questions such as  "Why do I  feel hurt/resentful by some event - what belief of mine was violated so deeply, and if that belief was valid or just over-expectation/unrealistic?  Or why would my loved one had hurt me (as it is against all logic/reason)? etc  And if these were alien thoughts at the time, what kind of "external intrusion" could have made you ponder this kind of questions  and break through/chisel the "fog".
« Last Edit: June 10, 2019, 04:29:40 AM by AlvinTheMaker »
Together - 20½ Years, Married 19½ Years
M: 43, W: 41 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 22 Feb 2019
G19,G17,G14,G12,S5

On LBS diet: started at 281 lbs, now 268 - goal is to lose 66 lbs while being suck at this

Offline ShockandaweTopic starter

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #28 on: June 10, 2019, 04:50:51 AM »
Hi Song, Mego and SS

My EA had been going on for roughly 9 months prior to me asking my ex h to move out.

My feelings only started returning after om moved in with me and I started comparing him to my ex h and my ex h started coming over better than om.

The period before BD was around 11 months this came after the death of my Father.


Shocks sis xx
« Last Edit: June 10, 2019, 11:25:52 AM by OldPilot »

Offline ShockandaweTopic starter

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer
« Reply #29 on: June 10, 2019, 05:01:29 AM »
Hi Jack and Dis,

Menopause played no part in my MLC. Following the death of my Father I would say depression fuelled my MLC, that and the feeling of detachment as the om became the only person I was attached to.
I didn’t feel panicked when my ex h met his new w as I was still at that point numb. You have to remember he met her in a matter of weeks after BD. The only feeling about that was more anger towards my ex h and in turn it justified what I was about to do as in starting the PA.

I didn’t think about why I felt the way I did as at that time it felt justified and normal even though I now know it was as if someone else had taken over my life.  I was compelled to see this through and I couldn’t stop it. The only good feelings I had was with om.

Hope this helps


Shocks sis xx
« Last Edit: June 10, 2019, 11:26:13 AM by OldPilot »

 

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