Author Topic: My Story Snuff 4  (Read 848 times)

Offline blueroseTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2019, 02:15:28 PM »
       D14 went with the coward last weekend. He took her and her best friend to our local summer carnival. We used to go there as a family but not anymore. The wh0r^ and her kid and his friend drove separately and met them there. D14 let it slip that the coward and the wh0r^ were in the beer tent with their friends while the kids went on rides. She doesnt know if they were drinking. She wpnt admit to it but why else would 2 people who drink go to a beer tent. They watched the fireworks and then drove the kids to their house.  The only thing i can do is file a complaint making the court aware that he drove with my daughter while he was drinking. I have no concrete proof. They will do nothing . Nice.
       D14 also told me that sunday before she came home he took her out to practice driving. This idiot let this 14 year old inexperienced driver go 50 miles an hour down a dirt road. I shudder to think what would have happened if she would have lost control of his truck.
        Its bad enough that he has traumatized his kids and me in some way or another but now i have the added worry of what his irresponsible parenting may lead to. I told my lawyer a few years ago about him texting while driving with d14 in the car and she told me that there is nothing i can do till d14 gets hurt. This makes no sense to me. Where is the sense in all this.
      D14 also mentioned that he was talking to her last week about how much he hates his job and he is just sick of it now. He has , to my knowledge, never said this before.
      It amazes me still when i read other threads how some of the mlcers go through some of the stages of this faster than others do. I think the coward is still running and this is going to last forever. I know i am in a much better place than i was when this started or even a year ago but it breaks my heart whenever i hear anything about him still stuck in the tunnel. I cant cry over it anymore. I have no more tears for it but it still makes me very sad at times to think that its been so many years that we have had just a normal conversation about nothing, doing things as a family or him just hugging me just because. Little things. Its always been the little things that have mattered the most for me. Its the little things that have broken my heart the most.

Offline blueroseTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2019, 04:28:02 PM »
      D14 was getting ready to go to her last week long visit of the summer tonight. The coward was blowing up her phone asking her where he was picking her up tonight. She called him back 4 or 5 times and was ignoring her calls. She was getting upset and told me something that she has been hiding for a year. She told me that the coward told her last summer about how he and the wh0r^ did cocaine. He went on to tell her that the wh0r^ got a nose bleed and passed out while doing it. He told her that happened because it was stepped on. I asked her what the hell stepped on meant. She told me it meant that it was passed between alot of hands before it hot to him and probably had been mixed with other things.
    How does this 47 year old @$$hole sit there and tell his then 13 year old daughter about his drug use? WTF? I told everyone that he was taking drugs 4 years ago and everyone just brushed me off like i was crazy. I friggin knew it.
     My best friend T said i should call friend of court and ask them what i can do about this. I want to protect my daighter but if i do that i will betray her trust. She made me promise that i wouldnt tell anyone. I told my best friend because i needed to talk about it.
     The coward also told her that he smokes pot but that was the last time he did any drugs. I knew he might have a problem with prescription drugs but cocaine?  I don't even know this guy and i dont think i ever did.
     The worst part is letting her go to his house around them and these friends of his.  I begged the court to do a drug test on him and they ignored me. Something needs to be done about these laws.

Offline em5731

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2019, 05:04:49 PM »
Oh man. It's going to be a long week for you. I can't even imagine what your going through. What if you tell him she isn't going this week. And then when and if he takes you to court. Then tell him what you know. Your poor daughter has to be around crap like that. It's really sad.

Offline blueroseTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2019, 08:22:40 AM »
    Em5731,
              Unfortunately that not the way it works. Unless i have proof or she is harmed there is nothing i can do. That is what my lawyer told me the first time i asked for a drug test. Same thing with his texting and driving habit. Until he is caught or in an accident with her in his vehicle there is nothing i can do.

Offline em5731

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2019, 08:28:05 AM »
That's so sad. My ex was texting and driving at one point. And your right ,courts did not care. I'm lucky my daughter hates going with her dad. And tells him she isn't going.  So he leaves, at first was mad he left. Now I realize how fortunate I am. Sorry it's going to be along week for you.

Online Treasur

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #15 on: August 13, 2019, 08:38:10 AM »
What a tough situation.
I guess all you can do is encourage your daughter to have her own boundaries and that you will always support her if she says no, she does not want to be there if drugs are being used or get in a car driven by a drunk person. That if she says no, you will always drop everything and pick her up. I suppose on a positive note it isn't a bad life lesson for a teenager....that is is ok to say no...just hard that it involves her father. I remember having to walk out of parties or take friends car keys in similar situations as a teenager.
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Online barbiedoll

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #16 on: August 13, 2019, 09:53:29 PM »
Clearly your MLC'er is out of his firetruckin mind..I can feel anger in my own veins.  Cocaine?   tells a 13 year old daughter ?  I just cannot imagine the lack of boundaries , the insane thought process and the incredible lack of parental care and guidance. And I do know the lack of the courts standing strong with mothers who voice these concerns. Backed into a corner here but Treasur said it best. Daughter can say NO and refuse to stay in an unsafe place. Perhaps some coaching and reassurance that you will pick her up in a second if she needs to call. I would talk to my lawyer as well even though that is very likely fruitless . At some point, I believe your girl will eventually refuse to go.  I am sorry.
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Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2019, 02:44:33 AM »
I was reading a story recently about a "program" that was started by a Priest with his own kids... If they got into a situation where they felt they needed to get out of, they could send he, his wife, or the older brother/sister in the house a text with the letter "X" (just the "X" and nothing more).  the deal was that whoever got the text would call them on their mobile and say that something happened at home and that they needed to be ready to be picked up in <however long it would take for the person to arrive> minutes... It allowed the teen to "save face" with their peer group at the time but also allowed them to get the heck out of a situation where they were not comfortable....

Perhaps something similar could be arranged between you and your D? Some sign that she can send that would mean she needs to get out of a situation?  I am not sure what that would look like when a parent is involved but just an idea that came up off the top of my head...
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Whyus

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #18 on: August 14, 2019, 06:38:47 AM »
hey blue, the others are right. I really like what UM has suggested.
The other Option is that your D14 tells her father that she wont get into a car if he has had a drink (or does cocaine  :-\) and that you will pick her up. Also that she will get oout of the car if he is texting because ist just dangerous.
Im sorry that you are dealing with such a tool.

I was reading a story recently about a "program" that was started by a Priest with his own kids... If they got into a situation where they felt they needed to get out of, they could send he, his wife, or the older brother/sister in the house a text with the letter "X" (just the "X" and nothing more).  the deal was that whoever got the text would call them on their mobile and say that something happened at home and that they needed to be ready to be picked up in <however long it would take for the person to arrive> minutes... It allowed the teen to "save face" with their peer group at the time but also allowed them to get the heck out of a situation where they were not comfortable....

This is so cool........ so simple but effective.
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Offline blueroseTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Snuff 4
« Reply #19 on: August 14, 2019, 04:20:32 PM »
  Whyus, ursa, barbie, treasurand em,
        Thank you all for your thoughts and advice. D14 knows that i will drop everything now if she needs me. When she is gone like she is now i text her everyday and ask her how she is and how she is doing. I have told all my kids if they need me call me. It is always such a long week when she is gone. I feel like part of me is missing when she isnt here.
     I do really do like the text message idea ursa. Im going to talk to her about it when she comes home. D14 is very fortunate to have family, more than just me, to suppirt her and be there for her if she needs them.
       I have always known that the coward took prescription drugs but i never realised how big it was. When she told me about the cocaine i was shocked but at the same time i wasnt. If that makes sense. 15 years ago we buried his little brother. He was 24 when he passed. He passed away from a heroin and cocaine overdose. It was the most heartbreaking funeral i have ever been to. Seeing his parents go through that is something i will never forget. His mother was also addicted to prescription drugs. The cowards stepdad smoked pot with him when he was younger than d14 is. Lovely family history. I told him when his brother died how bad i felt that he wasnt here anymore. The coward saod to me that he didnt feel bad for him because he made the choice to do it. Now he is making the same choices. I still cant believe that he told d14 about this. I have so many questions that will never have answers. I just keep adding them to the list.
      I would ask my lawyer about it but she is no longer representing me. I owe her money and have had a hard time paying her.
      I dont think it will be to much longer when d14 decides not to go with him anymore. She has a lot of anger towards him. She doesnt respect him and never says anything nice about him. She is very resentful to fact that she gets hardly any alone time with her dad. The wh0r^ and her kid always have to be there. I have a feeling that another big blow up is coming between him and the kids. I will just sit back and watch. Take care everybody.

 

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