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Author Topic: My Story Quarter Life Crisis

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My Story Quarter Life Crisis
#100: October 18, 2020, 10:13:19 AM
Hi kind people!

I’ve signed the papers for my new house!
Now I need to transfer the guarantee money, I am preparing myself mentally to see that money go.  ;)
I got a loan, including renovation budget, the bank employee stated I can ‘easily’ pay for the loan. That’s reassuring to hear.
It took me over 2 years of living back in the elderly home and saving most of my income.
Quickly after BD I decided I didn’t want to rent alone, but buy. And since then it has been my goal. It’s amazing I am actually finally able to, and doing it!
It’s been crazy and a lot of new information, but I know I can handle it. I am already very proud of myself.

A while ago I wrote about how I blocked ex everywhere. WhatsApp, LinkedIn, Facebook, Email, text, everything.
My decision at that time was because I saw ow had become Facebook friends with his dad. And however meaningless that action rationally was to me. It did still hurt, too much.
Plus my birthday was coming up and I didn’t want to give him any control over that day. So he couldn’t send me anything, even if he wanted to. I just couldn’t take anything from him for a while. 

I did unblock him everywhere again now, except om Facebook. Don’t wanna know.

The thing is, to block someone on LinkedIn, you have to visit their profile to do so. Afterwards they won’t see you did, as you blocked them.
Now apparently, when you unblock them again, they do see your visit from back then.
 I didn’t realise that when I unblocked him. Well, good to know I guess :)

As a result, he watched my profile the next day. Me, not knowing he saw my visit from when I blocked him, decided that I needed to let him know he crossed a boundary I had set. Which was: do not visit my LinkedIn and only contact me directly , being honest and clear.
So I told him: Hi ex, I hope you are doing good. I got a notification that said you visited my profile again. Although you do no harm by doing so, I did ask you not to this anymore as I don’t see how it can be useful? Greetings, Essential.

He answered he said it was a misunderstanding, he only clicked on my profile link, because I watched his profile. He now thinks he understand why I think he is following me.

I mean, really, all those times he check my profile and his lies about it, can be justified with the above? Sigh. You don’t gaslight me anymore ex, I’ve grown and see through it.
Then he blocked me ::) Less then a week later he unblocked me again  ::)

I’ve done nothing towards him since then. Must have been about  a month now. Not sure, a lot going on.

Today I saw new pictures from a family thing from his sister. (not very Covid-proof) if you ask me. He was there, again no ow to be seen. He had a haircut and was wearing clothes from before BD. Not saying it means anything. But something I noticed. Also, during this past time, I’ve been getting to know myself again, how I am now. What I look like and so on. And I realised, we look a lot alike. We’ve had people ask us whether we were brother and sister once. We both found it very funny. But I see it now. Very weird thing to realise  :P ???

Stay safe!

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Re: Quarter Life Crisis
#101: October 19, 2020, 09:40:28 AM
Congrats on your house!
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"Unconditional love is the highest of high standards, and while we are letting go of our need to control the process of anyone else, we are taking within our lives complete accountability for our own experience."

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Quarter Life Crisis
#102: October 19, 2020, 11:20:27 AM
Thanks Ready2Transform,

 Ow actually was at the party. I feel weird. I don’t care and am heartbroken at the same time.
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